LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandoms
- Hermitcraft SMP (11)
- Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series) (10)
- RWBY (10)
- Vampires SMP (8)
- The Magnus Archives (Podcast) (5)
Recent works
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The Traveler and the Fae by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Sparrow1M
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
05 Apr 2026
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Summary
Once there was a man who passed into faery lands. The man had been in a hurry, though if you were to ask the man he would not be able to tell you why. The result is the same, regardless. A trespasser is never looked upon with fondness, humans even less so, and the faery demanded the man provide recompense.
The man, unfamiliar with fae laws, gave his name and was cursed to spend his days as a traveler, only able to settle in one place for 100 days or less.
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A Traveler is drawn back to the Winter Court after being cursed where he must fulfill four tasks and, perhaps, even slay a king.
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now listen to that heart rate by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for drygrasses
Fandoms: Vampires SMP
03 Apr 2026
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Summary
Legundo is peacefully studying in the library when Scott Goldsmith decides to drop-by. How wonderful.
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[podfic] your justly earned reprise by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for TheEnderWolf
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
When Legundo Travels to a new world, he's quickly declared a god and assigned two assistants: Drift and Viking. Now Legundo must:
- Solve the issue of Krampus,
- Figure out what Drift and Viking want from him,
- Deal with the local wildlife.
Simple enough, right? …Right.
—
Legundo is called a god, The Traveler, and he's to be treated with all the respect and reverence as deserving of his station.
Legundo might just be sick to his stomach.
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[web weave/collage] sing of the moon by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for starshapedballoon
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Mumbo and Pearl go stargazing <3
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[podfic] butterflies by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for Vanyel
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Tango breathes in, then out, then hides his face in the crook of Zedaph's neck. Violet eyes lazily blink open in response. “Sumthin’ wrong?” he asks, and Tango feels it when he speaks, his free hand splayed out against the other's chest. Tango frowns as he collects his thoughts.
”I think I have a crush,” he whispers.
It was such a simple sentence, and yet, Tango felt like he had just confessed his darkest secret.
Or; Tango is nervous about telling his partners about his feelings for his soulmate. They take it better than expected.
Recent series
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RWBY Fanfics by emo_space_gay, LeanMeanSaltineMachine, rivercollabs (theriveroflight), Stormage_dark_lord, sureashyr, UnsteadyShade
Fandom RWBY
09 Nov 2025
- Words:
- 2,233
- Works:
- 1
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coaxing the words from the earth and the dirt by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Stardew Valley (Video Game)
14 Feb 2026
Summary
Cody knows there's something weird going on in Pelican Town, and he's determined to figure out what.
- Words:
- 1,229
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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on the open roads by DuskDragon39, LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
02 Sep 2023
- Words:
- 20,155
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 6,046
- Works:
- 3
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- Words:
- 4,345
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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Married at First Sight by timetoucheseternity
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
22 Jan 2021
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Summary
Welcome to Married at First Sight! The show where our team of relationship experts match-up couples who agree to get married at first sight! Participants have consented to partake in our extreme experiment in order to hopefully find the love of their lives.
Obi-Wan and Jango are both looking for love, maybe they can find it on a reality tv show.
Series
- Part 1 of Married at First Sight
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
02 Jul 2026
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A Leap of Faith in Deep Space by jamesisasimp
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Iron Lung (2026)
03 Jun 2026
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Summary
"Ava," Grace turns to the radio, heart heavy. "I don't think we can bring your stars back."
There's a long silence, only interrupted by the crackling static of interstellar transmission.
"You said the stars where you are are cured?"
"From the astrophage? Yeah. But-"
"Then we don't need to bring my stars back," Ava decides, her voice full of steely conviction. "We just need to bring my people to where the stars are."
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Or Ryland can't stand not knowing if the probes made it back and saved humanity, so he calls Earth, and someone picks up. Someone from the wrong Earth. And Simon is sent into deep space on a one-man mission to see the stars
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Curled up at the back of the closet, against the wall and very unsuccessfully trying to hide himself behind the edge of a box of hazmat suits, is Simon.
Grace stares. Simon stares back, seemingly frozen. He's sitting on the floor, legs curled up, hand halfway through shielding his face. The lighting isn't great, but his cheeks and eyes shine in a way that clearly show he's been crying. A lot.
"Oh my gosh," Grace starts, panic lurching into sympathy and quickly joined by shock. "Simon?"
***
Simon has barely age regressed before, and never in front of anyone else. But after the events in the SM-13 and while traveling with Grace & Rocky back to Erid, he needs new ways to heal.
Series
- Part 1 of Age Regression Bloodymary
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Dr. Ryland Grace, destitute, just wants a job. There are certainly worse possibilities than becoming a live-in tutor.
Eva Stratt, newly guardian of five nieces and nephews, wants a highly educated, responsible, capable governess, who will meet all of the children's needs and also who won't run away from the household (again). Someone should not be this hard to find.
Franzi would like to draw a picture. Rosi would like to read a book. Erich would like to learn more about stars, please. Elma would like everyone to be happy. Gunther would really, really, really, thank you very much, like to have a dog.
Sound of Music AU.
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Summary
Grace and Carl have been spending a lot of time together lately.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,530
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 226
- Bookmarks:
- 31
- Hits:
- 1,645
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
27 Jun 2026