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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It was one time.

    Statistically, condoms had a 98% success rate when used properly. That meant that the condom packet had to have been perfectly sealed, the latex itself had to have no tears or degradation in the material, and it had to be worn as directed.

    So why?

    Why did it feel like the universe was saying fuck you in big bold letters and giving him double birds at the same time?

    So why did the blue lines and the pregnant on the two tests sound so fucking fake?

    Or: Where Shane finds out he's pregnant after their first time together in 2013 despite wearing protection, because the universe loves to fuck with him.

    Set in Omegaverse. Tags will be updated as story progresses.

    (Will be updated every 4-6 days, opposite of The Fertility Face-Off. Updated: June 9th)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    147,400
    Chapters:
    14/60
    Comments:
    506
    Kudos:
    2,712
    Bookmarks:
    876
    Hits:
    94,763

    18 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Haley
    Hi Shane! Just messaging about our heater again. Do you think we could get it fixed today?
    Shane
    So sorry for the late reply, Haley! I’m at the Olympics and my time zones are all messed up. Messaged my HVAC guy and he’ll be there in the morning.

    Haley
    screenshot.jpg
    Wtf?
    Katie
    Is this guy fr???

    Or: the trials and tribulations of renting from Shane Hollander.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,560
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    981
    Kudos:
    13,308
    Bookmarks:
    2,174
    Hits:
    102,501

    18 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    troybarrett if u can read this im free on thurs @censational · Oct 23, 2022
    Ilya Rozanov getting cancelled for having an Asian fetish was NOT on my 2022 bingo but here we are #ilyarozanovisoverparty

    kari ˚⟡˖ ࣪ @pikesplacee · Oct 23, 2022
    the question of “why shane hollander of all players” finally makes sense now I guess… #ilyarozanovisoverparty

    vi @mooncatvi · Oct 23, 2022
    you mean the hockey player I liked isn't a good person? 🥺 you mean the stripper doesn't love me? 🥺 #ilyarozanovisoverparty

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,478
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    383
    Kudos:
    13,377
    Bookmarks:
    1,490
    Hits:
    79,058

    18 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane: Curse & Hex Removal Spell by SpellsfromNastya

    Rose: ???

    Shane: Trust me

    Shane: Just get it

    Rose: Why?

    Shane: You are probably cursed.

    or

    Ilya's Etsy witch reviews get exposed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,413
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    765
    Kudos:
    16,574
    Bookmarks:
    3,006
    Hits:
    75,082

    17 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A video of Ilya and Yuna at the farmers market goes viral.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,691
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    237
    Kudos:
    17,058
    Bookmarks:
    2,392
    Hits:
    120,620

    17 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    @ottawacentaurs
    Shane Hollander ranks hockey players; number five will surprise you!

    “Who’s the third?” Shane asked with seemingly genuine confusion.
    “What?”
    “The third player.” Shane clarified, “In the big three of active players? I mean it’s me and Ilya, right?”
    Amelia nodded mutely whilst Luca Haas, who had been asked the question, stared at Shane with wide eyes.
    “So, who’s the third?” Shane’s face took on a contemplative look.
    “Scott Hunter?” Amelia said with confusion.
    “Hunter?” Shane looked surprised. “Why?”
    Across the room Roz let out a bark of laughter.

    Russian translation available

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,352
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    816
    Kudos:
    17,399
    Bookmarks:
    2,331
    Hits:
    93,661

    17 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    He wasn’t ready for this.

    Maybe he never would have been, not in two, or five, or ten years. Maybe he would have spent the rest of his life holding this secret inside, not telling a single soul about the way his heart beats for his biggest rival. Or maybe, in a year or ten or once he’s retired, he might have come out publicly. Might have shared his truth with the world.

    But that was supposed to be his choice. To tell or not to tell, to hide in the shade or step out into the sunshine. It was supposed to be his decision, and now it’s been taken from him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    419
    Kudos:
    11,366
    Bookmarks:
    2,271
    Hits:
    93,315

    17 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    “Good,” Shane says, when he finally finds his voice. “Because I’m selfish.”

    Ilya laughs. “You are not selfish, sweetheart.”

    “I am when it comes to you,” he confesses, pulling back so he can look Ilya in the eyes. “I feel like a kid who doesn’t want to share his favourite toy.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,943
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    227
    Kudos:
    4,142
    Bookmarks:
    641
    Hits:
    28,138

    17 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    On the outside, Shane Hollander is one of the best and most beloved hockey players in the world.

    On the inside, there is a demon who has been whispering sweet nothings to him since one fateful night in 2008.

    And after several failed attempts to cleanse his cursed soul, Shane has to face the fact that he might be sharing his mind, body, and soul with a wicked little creature for the rest of his life. So... he might as well fall in love with it, right?

    OR; Ilya is a demon and Shane is accidentally possessed by him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,622
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    561
    Bookmarks:
    149
    Hits:
    5,502

    17 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "It had never really been in Ilya’s plans to start a Youtube channel for paranormal investigation..."

    Ilya Rozanov, the playboy darling of the oft-forgotten ECHL who never quite lived up to his full potential, spends the off-season hunting ghosts with his teammates Bood and Troy. When they dare to investigate the tragic ruins of NHL legend Shane Hollander's former cottage, they are expecting to be confronted by a cursed haunting, a vengeful demon, or at the very least... some entertaining Youtube-worthy content. What Ilya is not expecting, however, is to form an inexplicable bond with the ghost of a hot hockey player and discover that nothing (literally nothing at all) is quite as it seems.

    OR; Shane is a ghost, Ilya can see dead people, and it's entirely possible that they once knew each other in a past life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,544
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    653
    Kudos:
    2,991
    Bookmarks:
    1,176
    Hits:
    39,062

    17 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane makes a list: reasons to Come Out on one side and to Stay Safe on the other. It's definitely not meant to accidentally star in the background of his mom's Instagram post for fans to find.

    But now that the world knows, maybe Shane can finally let himself have everything he's wanted.

    If only Ilya didn't go out and get engaged the next day. Which is fine! Rozanov was settling down? Shane could settle down, too. He would find himself a nice man.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,779
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    754
    Kudos:
    18,288
    Bookmarks:
    3,481
    Hits:
    112,283

    17 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane’s eyes snap open. Wait a second.

    “Ilya,” Shane says, propping himself up on his elbows. “Ilya, wake up.”

    Ilya makes a pained noise, eyes still shut. “I shut curtains already.”

    “It’s not that. Ilya, hey. Don’t go back to sleep.” Ilya tries to bury back into Shane’s chest, but adrenaline knifes through Shane’s hangover long enough for him to peel Ilya off and roll him into his back. Ilya blinks blearily up at him, starfished in the sheets. Beautiful and naked and missing his mother’s cross.

     

    OR: When Ilya’s cross goes missing after the Centaurs celebrate their first Stanley Cup win, Shane is determined to get it back. And so are the Centaurs. And the rest of Ottawa.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,038
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    605
    Kudos:
    19,348
    Bookmarks:
    3,959
    Hits:
    114,786

    17 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark 77

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    Maybe it was stupid for Shane to assume that when Ilya asked him if he had Valentine’s Day plans that it was a date, but what was stupider was that he opened the door wearing a suit.

    Ilya texts Shane about wanting to come over on Valentine’s Day. Shane assumes it’s a date, he goes all out. When he realizes he misunderstood he shuts down. Ilya makes it better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,994
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    643
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    5,574

    16 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    There are many ways to support your favorite player. Attending their games, for instance. Buying their jersey. Or, if you're trying to keep a secret relationship under wraps, you could drive four hours in the opposite direction, wrap yourself in a dollar store blanket with eyeholes cut in it, and attempt to blend in with the locals.

    It's foolproof. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

    The internet would never figure it out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,153
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    1,891
    Kudos:
    21,900
    Bookmarks:
    3,219
    Hits:
    135,707

    16 Jun 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    He’s about to unlock the door when his phone buzzes, no doubt with an apology or an explanation. Someone screams outside of the bathroom. There’s a loud noise. More screams. What the-

    His phone buzzes again.

    Jane: don’t come out

    Jane: hide

    Jane: guns

    Jane: idk what’s happening

    Jane: call the cops

    Or

    Shane, Ilya, Scott Hunter and a bunch of MHL players find themselves in a hostage situation in the middle of the Las Vegas award ceremony. (Mid-situationship, the year pre-tuna melt).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,722
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    2,245
    Kudos:
    12,719
    Bookmarks:
    2,807
    Hits:
    176,938

    15 Jun 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s the most famous cold case in hockey history. Up-and-coming Russian phenom Ilya Rozanov mysteriously vanishes the summer before his rookie season. Despite extensive police work, no trace of the young superstar is ever found.

    Shane Hollander remembers Ilya Rozanov. Better than most. And now, several years retired and with two highly successful hockey biographies under his belt, he’s taking a crack at the mystery that’s haunted his own career with strings of what-ifs and memories revisited so often they’ve softened like old cotton.

    Perhaps now, with the long eye of perspective between him and those memories, he can unravel the short lifetime of the man poised to become his biggest rival and best kept secret. Travelling to Russia he searches for stories and the answers they hold.

    If only this damn dog that’s apparently a local cryptid would stop raiding his trash cans.

     
    It has wandered this place for years. It knows every stream, every hill, every tree. Every pale, flat face in the place of straight lines. It does not know this face.

    But it remembers dark eyes and star-dots across the cheeks.
    It cannot remember its own name.

    But it remembers him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,926
    Chapters:
    8/11
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    369
    Bookmarks:
    183
    Hits:
    8,602

    14 Jun 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Ilya,” Hollander breathes, which—Ilya isn’t sure Hollander has ever called him by his first name. Surely he has sometime in seven years of acquaintance? But the sound of it is novel, unfamiliar. 

    And far from unpleasant. 

    Then Hollander says, “Baby,” and Ilya knows for certain that he’s never called Ilya that, because it takes the air right out of Ilya’s lungs and makes his guts twist and fuck, he would have remembered if Hollander had ever called him that. Especially in that reverent tone. 

    It’s nice. 

    Ilya doesn't remember being married to Shane Hollander. Probably, he should tell someone.

    He decides not to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,658
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    425
    Kudos:
    4,178
    Bookmarks:
    790
    Hits:
    33,211

    14 Jun 2026

  18. Public Bookmark 66

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    Summary

    “Hollander,” drawled the familiar voice of Ilya Rozanov. Shane stiffened in his seat as, unbidden, blood rushed to his cock and cheeks “fancy seeing you here.”

    “Fuck off Rozanov” Shane replied, still staring ahead. The Russian didn’t budge so Shane added in a whisper "someone might see us” and if you don’t leave soon I might do something stupid like suck your cock on the spot or finally let you fuck me, maybe over the the hot food bar. It would be unsanitary, but memorable.

    “No, I think I will stay. You are so boring, but is more boring being alone in airport.” He replied cheekily, shifting next to Shane, brushing their shoulders lightly together. Shane burned even hotter at the touch. His desire for this obnoxious man was humiliating.

    “Hollander, look at me” he said softly. Shane, as always, was powerless to resist him. He turned his head to meet surprisingly gentle blue eyes. “Is South, da? Nobody cares about hockey. We are safe.”

    When a freak snow storm forces Shane and Ilya to stay in Tennessee following the 2011 All Stars weekend, they are brought together by an airport lounge, the open road, a mountain cabin, and the music of Dolly Parton.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    318
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    3,071

    13 Jun 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A storm strands Yuna Hollander in Boston with no flights, no taxis, and no hotel rooms. Her unexpected rescuer? Shane Hollander’s biggest rival, Ilya Rozanov. But one night in Ilya’s apartment reveals hockey’s greatest secret: the NHL’s fiercest enemies have been secretly, hopelessly in love for ten years.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,120
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5,918
    Bookmarks:
    665
    Hits:
    42,474

    12 Jun 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The day after attending a charity event in Vancouver, Shane, Ilya, Scott, and a few other players board a plane to take them to Tampa for 2017 All Stars.

    The plane goes down somewhere in the wilderness, in the middle of a storm.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,142
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    758
    Kudos:
    4,731
    Bookmarks:
    1,359
    Hits:
    38,109

    10 Jun 2026

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