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The worst thing in a whole panoply of worst things was that he mostly just really wanted to sit down on the sofa — the comfy sofa! He had a comfy sofa, what was his life coming to — and let Aziraphale stroke his hair.
“Oh,” Aziraphale said, suddenly stopping dead. “Crowley.” His tone sounded completely different now. Worried? Sympathetic? Something? “Crowley. My dear. You’ve finally started making a home for yourself.”
What do you do after the Apocalypse doesn't happen; when you're suddenly unemployed, spending a lot more time with your hereditary adversary, and avoiding a whole lot of feelings? Manifesting cushions is probably a bad sign...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,495
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 216
- Kudos:
- 2,058
- Bookmarks:
- 444
- Hits:
- 16,965
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
12 Jun 2026
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socially-approved distances by darcylindbergh
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
01 May 2020
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I’m setting the alarm clock for July. Goodnight, angel.
Aziraphale set the phone carefully back into its cradle. July. He looked at the calendar—it was only the first of May. July seemed ages away. Aziraphale could only imagine how much cake he’d have to bake to pass the time all the way until July.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,882
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 451
- Kudos:
- 2,693
- Bookmarks:
- 402
- Hits:
- 11,369
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
12 Jun 2026
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speed limits (and how to break them) by darcylindbergh
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
13 Jun 2020
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There is a trick people do with a mint candy and a bottle of cola which results in a small eruption, and something very like it, for much higher stakes than a laugh in a car park, is about to take place in Aziraphale’s back room.
Or: what happens when you finally unscrew the cap on a six thousand years of repression, and drop in Valentine’s Day.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,750
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 929
- Kudos:
- 2,816
- Bookmarks:
- 591
- Hits:
- 27,170
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
11 Jun 2026
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“You look terrible, by the way. Wow, you are not okay. Well, lucky you, I know, it’s been a while, but I am here to help. Sorry it took so long. We were a little distracted, but eventually, Bee and I concluded that maybe, slightly, we, and especially I, kind of owed you one.”
In which Gabriel conveniently happens to have a low-power time travel device lying around, generously decides to donate it to Aziraphale so Aziraphale can use it to thwart the next apocalypse, and Aziraphale immediately uses it instead to try to fix That Conversation. Surely with enough chances, he can get it right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,167
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 83
- Kudos:
- 472
- Bookmarks:
- 163
- Hits:
- 5,041
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
11 Jun 2026
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Faster Than a Speeding Bentley by nightbloomingcereus
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
21 Mar 2021
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A mysterious explosion. An intrepid reporter who asks too many questions. A bite from a small, seemingly innocuous garter snake. You know the drill.
But Anthony J. Crowley soon finds out that being a superhero isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, there are benefits: being able to slither up the sides of buildings, doing really weird things with his tongue, the occasional lucrative stock tip from a grateful rescuee, and gloating over the fact that a simple pair of sunglasses is an apparently impenetrable disguise. On the other hand, there’s the sheer indignity of spandex, a succession of increasingly terrible monikers, and the fact that he keeps making a fool of himself in front of the love of his life, who, for some reason, seems to keep getting kidnapped. And to add insult to injury, said love of his life might just be in love with his alter ego.
It isn’t easy being The Serpent.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 76,497
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 884
- Kudos:
- 1,128
- Bookmarks:
- 283
- Hits:
- 19,480
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
11 Jun 2026
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“Let’s get lunch,” Crowley said, sauntering into the bookshop one October afternoon, his hair a little windswept and his cheeks a little pink from the chill, “what do you think, Le Café du Marché?”
Whatever it was that was waiting to give inside Aziraphale’s chest snapped like a twig. He didn’t even like French food.
“Crowley,” Aziraphale said, setting down his book with an argumentative slap. “You don’t even like French food.”
*
The world hadn’t ended, which was all well and good. If only this had. This, of course, being lunch.
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
10 Jun 2026
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Anthony Crowley sells computer systems to London businesses–and specializes in sneaking extra charges and fees into the associated contracts. It’s not his fault no one actually reads the paperwork before signing it.
He thinks mild-mannered bookshop owner Aziraphale Fell will be an easy mark; surely no one that old-fashioned and dotty will spot a few carefully-worded technical clauses in his contract.
And then Aziraphale comes back with some very polite, very pointed questions – and Crowley decides that maybe pulling off the sale isn’t his first priority anymore…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,219
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,020
- Kudos:
- 2,889
- Bookmarks:
- 692
- Hits:
- 35,992
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
10 Jun 2026
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‘And who was I with?’ by Crowgirl
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
06 Jul 2019
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‘You are quite possibly the most monumentally dim angel it has ever been my privilege to know.’
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,181
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 374
- Bookmarks:
- 33
- Hits:
- 2,269
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
31 May 2026
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‘...and perhaps if I was very lucky, you’d let me kiss you goodnight.’ by Crowgirl
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
15 Aug 2019
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He makes endless lists.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,414
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 153
- Bookmarks:
- 26
- Hits:
- 765
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
31 May 2026
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‘...you’re naked.’ by Crowgirl
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
30 Nov 2019
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‘I don’t know if you remember what we did last night, but getting naked is something of a prerequisite.’
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
31 May 2026
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Forever by goodomensblog (just_quintessentially_me), just_quintessentially_me
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
23 Jun 2019
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Heaven’s execution chamber was elegant, magnificent - and bare. Polished floors gleamed, immaculate; their cleanliness made it impossible to guess at the atrocities committed upon them. Clean, white walls glared, and a window as large as the room was tall, teased of freedom just out of reach.
At the center of it all, was a chair.
And upon that chair, an angel sat.
Across the cold, stark room - too far from the angel - a demon knelt, bound.
The ropes burned, and Crowley hissed, hunching his shoulders as he turned his head up. The angel, his wrists tied to the chair, met and held his stare.
No, it couldn’t - it wasn’t - this wasn’t right.
Confused and in pain, Crowley called, “Angel, you alright?”
Aziraphale’s light hair appeared white in the harshly lit room, and his face had gone pale; but at Crowley’s call he sat up in the chair, bound hands giving a feeble wave.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,903
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 3,762
- Bookmarks:
- 559
- Hits:
- 24,367
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
30 May 2026
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Parched by goodomensblog (just_quintessentially_me), just_quintessentially_me for Nilmiel
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
26 Sep 2019
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Seventeen days, twenty hours and eleven minutes after the Apocalypse-that-wasn’t, an angel and demon, following a luxurious dinner at Le Gavroche, stroll along a crowded London promenade, their hands intertwined.
For Crowley, strolling with the sunset sky bleeding pastel and their interlocked hands swinging between them, it is impossible to conceal the bounce in his step - nor does he try. And it is only his dark glasses, perched diligently on the bridge of his nose, that stand between his pleasure-creased gaze and outright discovery.
As they arrive back at Crowley’s apartment, the demon holds open the door. Once inside, Crowley shrugs out of his jacket and then helps Aziraphale with his coat. As the angel settles, Crowley procures a bottle of wine, and it really is shaping up to be an excellent evening when -
“Crowley, my dear. You never told me you had a collection of poetry!”
Crowley’s arm snaps back, and he forcefully wrenches the cork free of the bottle. It bounces across his immaculate kitchen.
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
30 May 2026
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Crowley's been doing just fine since he left London for a slower and quieter life in the country. He's the owner of a pet shop in a small village, spending his days in the shop helping people and their pets and his evenings...well, his evenings are quiet. It's all going fine, and then Adam Young bursts through the door to his shop, his godfather Aziraphale struggling to keep up. Up until the day he first met Aziraphale, Crowley thought he'd live out the rest of his days in solitude. Now? He's not so sure that's what he wants anymore.
Written for the GO-Events Good AUmens AU Fest, to the prompt "Pet Shop".
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,382
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 102
- Kudos:
- 705
- Bookmarks:
- 95
- Hits:
- 3,532
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
29 May 2026
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While making a social call in Tadfield, Aziraphale lets slip some very odd notions he apparently has about the nature of their relationship.
Now, hold on. Crowley never said he was wrong.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,924
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 114
- Kudos:
- 2,510
- Bookmarks:
- 396
- Hits:
- 11,213
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
28 May 2026
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may my heart always be open to little birds by witching
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
07 Nov 2019
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"thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. they terrify me to this day. [...] eighth graders will make fun of you, but in an accurate way. they will get to the thing that you don't like about you. they don't even need to look at you for long." - john mulaney
or: the one where adam has a bar mitzvah and four teenagers have to knock some sense into two immortal beings in denial.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,007
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 32
- Kudos:
- 526
- Bookmarks:
- 73
- Hits:
- 2,923
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
27 May 2026
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Time After Time by iamtheenemy (Steph)
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
20 Oct 2019
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“Ha!” Crowley said, pointing one of those long index fingers in Aziraphale’s face. “That wasn’t yesterday! That was Monday!”
It's the day after Crowley and Aziraphale thwarted their respective home offices and saved the world - and it keeps being that day again and again and again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,590
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 95
- Kudos:
- 1,847
- Bookmarks:
- 432
- Hits:
- 11,405
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
25 May 2026
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To Rest My Weary Soul by iamtheenemy (Steph)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
29 Jun 2019
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“Are you saying I feel like this because of my time in Hell? I thought you meant moral consequences.”
“Since when do I give a toss about moral consequences, angel? No, you’ve got a Hell hangover. Must have hit once the adrenaline wore off,” Crowley answered.
“Hell hangover?” Aziraphale repeated incredulously.
Aziraphale's trip down to Hell leaves him worse for wear.
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
25 May 2026
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Taking the Long Way by iamtheenemy (Steph)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
26 Jun 2019
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Crawley nodded down at the sweaty humans undulating in a frightfully uncomfortable-looking position below them. “Mating,” he clarified. “One of God’s better ideas, if you ask me. Looks like it could be fun.”
“Does it?” Aziraphale asked doubtfully. “It’s all a bit sticky for my tastes. I think She had the right of it with plants. Pollination seems much more sensible.”
It takes Aziraphale 6000 years to catch up.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,919
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 168
- Kudos:
- 4,372
- Bookmarks:
- 699
- Hits:
- 38,391
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
25 May 2026
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Something To Talk About by iamtheenemy (Steph)
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
04 Jul 2019
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He had the sudden and almost overwhelming desire to reach out and take Crowley’s hand. An absurd notion, of course. In 6000 years, Crowley had never shown any inclination towards physical affection for Aziraphale, despite their shared feelings. Aziraphale had long ago accepted that any gentle touch from him would have Crowley stepping hastily away and otherwise ignoring Aziraphale’s attempts. Or at least he had accepted it, until their delicate status quo had been disrupted.
Aziraphale jumps to some very inaccurate conclusions.
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
25 May 2026
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As part of Hell’s peer evaluation process, Crowley has to go incognito to observe and review the work of a timeshare-selling demon. But it turns out that the timeshare presentation offer is only for married couples.
Luckily, he knows just who to call.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,861
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 75
- Kudos:
- 559
- Bookmarks:
- 78
- Hits:
- 3,277
Bookmarked by MeetMeAtTheRitz
19 May 2026