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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The worst thing in a whole panoply of worst things was that he mostly just really wanted to sit down on the sofa — the comfy sofa! He had a comfy sofa, what was his life coming to — and let Aziraphale stroke his hair.

    “Oh,” Aziraphale said, suddenly stopping dead. “Crowley.” His tone sounded completely different now. Worried? Sympathetic? Something? “Crowley. My dear. You’ve finally started making a home for yourself.”

    What do you do after the Apocalypse doesn't happen; when you're suddenly unemployed, spending a lot more time with your hereditary adversary, and avoiding a whole lot of feelings? Manifesting cushions is probably a bad sign...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,495
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    216
    Kudos:
    2,058
    Bookmarks:
    444
    Hits:
    16,965

    12 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    I’m setting the alarm clock for July. Goodnight, angel.

     

    Aziraphale set the phone carefully back into its cradle. July. He looked at the calendar—it was only the first of May. July seemed ages away. Aziraphale could only imagine how much cake he’d have to bake to pass the time all the way until July.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,882
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    451
    Kudos:
    2,693
    Bookmarks:
    402
    Hits:
    11,369

    12 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    There is a trick people do with a mint candy and a bottle of cola which results in a small eruption, and something very like it, for much higher stakes than a laugh in a car park, is about to take place in Aziraphale’s back room.

    Or: what happens when you finally unscrew the cap on a six thousand years of repression, and drop in Valentine’s Day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,750
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    929
    Kudos:
    2,816
    Bookmarks:
    591
    Hits:
    27,170

    11 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “You look terrible, by the way. Wow, you are not okay. Well, lucky you, I know, it’s been a while, but I am here to help. Sorry it took so long. We were a little distracted, but eventually, Bee and I concluded that maybe, slightly, we, and especially I, kind of owed you one.”

    In which Gabriel conveniently happens to have a low-power time travel device lying around, generously decides to donate it to Aziraphale so Aziraphale can use it to thwart the next apocalypse, and Aziraphale immediately uses it instead to try to fix That Conversation. Surely with enough chances, he can get it right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,167
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    472
    Bookmarks:
    163
    Hits:
    5,041

    11 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    A mysterious explosion. An intrepid reporter who asks too many questions. A bite from a small, seemingly innocuous garter snake. You know the drill.

    But Anthony J. Crowley soon finds out that being a superhero isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, there are benefits: being able to slither up the sides of buildings, doing really weird things with his tongue, the occasional lucrative stock tip from a grateful rescuee, and gloating over the fact that a simple pair of sunglasses is an apparently impenetrable disguise. On the other hand, there’s the sheer indignity of spandex, a succession of increasingly terrible monikers, and the fact that he keeps making a fool of himself in front of the love of his life, who, for some reason, seems to keep getting kidnapped. And to add insult to injury, said love of his life might just be in love with his alter ego.

    It isn’t easy being The Serpent.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,497
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    884
    Kudos:
    1,128
    Bookmarks:
    283
    Hits:
    19,480

    11 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    “Let’s get lunch,” Crowley said, sauntering into the bookshop one October afternoon, his hair a little windswept and his cheeks a little pink from the chill, “what do you think, Le Café du Marché?”

    Whatever it was that was waiting to give inside Aziraphale’s chest snapped like a twig. He didn’t even like French food.

    “Crowley,” Aziraphale said, setting down his book with an argumentative slap. “You don’t even like French food.”

    *

    The world hadn’t ended, which was all well and good. If only this had. This, of course, being lunch.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,484
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    442
    Kudos:
    5,333
    Bookmarks:
    946
    Hits:
    34,410

    10 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Anthony Crowley sells computer systems to London businesses–and specializes in sneaking extra charges and fees into the associated contracts. It’s not his fault no one actually reads the paperwork before signing it.

    He thinks mild-mannered bookshop owner Aziraphale Fell will be an easy mark; surely no one that old-fashioned and dotty will spot a few carefully-worded technical clauses in his contract.

    And then Aziraphale comes back with some very polite, very pointed questions – and Crowley decides that maybe pulling off the sale isn’t his first priority anymore…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,219
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    1,020
    Kudos:
    2,889
    Bookmarks:
    692
    Hits:
    35,992

    10 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark 33

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    ‘You are quite possibly the most monumentally dim angel it has ever been my privilege to know.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,181
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    374
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    2,269

    31 May 2026

  9. Public Bookmark 26

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    He makes endless lists.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,414
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    153
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    765

    31 May 2026

  10. Public Bookmark 42

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    ‘I don’t know if you remember what we did last night, but getting naked is something of a prerequisite.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,111
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    407
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    2,149

    31 May 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Heaven’s execution chamber was elegant, magnificent - and bare. Polished floors gleamed, immaculate; their cleanliness made it impossible to guess at the atrocities committed upon them. Clean, white walls glared, and a window as large as the room was tall, teased of freedom just out of reach.

    At the center of it all, was a chair.

    And upon that chair, an angel sat.

    Across the cold, stark room - too far from the angel - a demon knelt, bound.

    The ropes burned, and Crowley hissed, hunching his shoulders as he turned his head up. The angel, his wrists tied to the chair, met and held his stare.

    No, it couldn’t - it wasn’t - this wasn’t right.

    Confused and in pain, Crowley called, “Angel, you alright?”

    Aziraphale’s light hair appeared white in the harshly lit room, and his face had gone pale; but at Crowley’s call he sat up in the chair, bound hands giving a feeble wave.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,903
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    107
    Kudos:
    3,762
    Bookmarks:
    559
    Hits:
    24,367

    30 May 2026

  12. Public Bookmark 99

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    Seventeen days, twenty hours and eleven minutes after the Apocalypse-that-wasn’t, an angel and demon, following a luxurious dinner at Le Gavroche, stroll along a crowded London promenade, their hands intertwined.

    For Crowley, strolling with the sunset sky bleeding pastel and their interlocked hands swinging between them, it is impossible to conceal the bounce in his step - nor does he try. And it is only his dark glasses, perched diligently on the bridge of his nose, that stand between his pleasure-creased gaze and outright discovery.

    As they arrive back at Crowley’s apartment, the demon holds open the door. Once inside, Crowley shrugs out of his jacket and then helps Aziraphale with his coat. As the angel settles, Crowley procures a bottle of wine, and it really is shaping up to be an excellent evening when -

    “Crowley, my dear. You never told me you had a collection of poetry!”

    Crowley’s arm snaps back, and he forcefully wrenches the cork free of the bottle. It bounces across his immaculate kitchen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,263
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    622
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    2,909

    30 May 2026

  13. Public Bookmark 95

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    Crowley's been doing just fine since he left London for a slower and quieter life in the country. He's the owner of a pet shop in a small village, spending his days in the shop helping people and their pets and his evenings...well, his evenings are quiet. It's all going fine, and then Adam Young bursts through the door to his shop, his godfather Aziraphale struggling to keep up. Up until the day he first met Aziraphale, Crowley thought he'd live out the rest of his days in solitude. Now? He's not so sure that's what he wants anymore.

    Written for the GO-Events Good AUmens AU Fest, to the prompt "Pet Shop".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,382
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    705
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    3,532

    29 May 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    While making a social call in Tadfield, Aziraphale lets slip some very odd notions he apparently has about the nature of their relationship.

    Now, hold on. Crowley never said he was wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,924
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    2,510
    Bookmarks:
    396
    Hits:
    11,213

    28 May 2026

  15. Public Bookmark 73

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    "thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. they terrify me to this day. [...] eighth graders will make fun of you, but in an accurate way. they will get to the thing that you don't like about you. they don't even need to look at you for long." - john mulaney
    or: the one where adam has a bar mitzvah and four teenagers have to knock some sense into two immortal beings in denial.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    526
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    2,923

    27 May 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ha!” Crowley said, pointing one of those long index fingers in Aziraphale’s face. “That wasn’t yesterday! That was Monday!”

    It's the day after Crowley and Aziraphale thwarted their respective home offices and saved the world - and it keeps being that day again and again and again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,590
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    1,847
    Bookmarks:
    432
    Hits:
    11,405

    25 May 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Are you saying I feel like this because of my time in Hell? I thought you meant moral consequences.”

    “Since when do I give a toss about moral consequences, angel? No, you’ve got a Hell hangover. Must have hit once the adrenaline wore off,” Crowley answered.

    Hell hangover?” Aziraphale repeated incredulously.

    Aziraphale's trip down to Hell leaves him worse for wear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,945
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    258
    Kudos:
    5,053
    Bookmarks:
    894
    Hits:
    28,548

    25 May 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Crawley nodded down at the sweaty humans undulating in a frightfully uncomfortable-looking position below them. “Mating,” he clarified. “One of God’s better ideas, if you ask me. Looks like it could be fun.” 

    “Does it?” Aziraphale asked doubtfully. “It’s all a bit sticky for my tastes. I think She had the right of it with plants. Pollination seems much more sensible.”

    It takes Aziraphale 6000 years to catch up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,919
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    4,372
    Bookmarks:
    699
    Hits:
    38,391

    25 May 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    He had the sudden and almost overwhelming desire to reach out and take Crowley’s hand. An absurd notion, of course. In 6000 years, Crowley had never shown any inclination towards physical affection for Aziraphale, despite their shared feelings. Aziraphale had long ago accepted that any gentle touch from him would have Crowley stepping hastily away and otherwise ignoring Aziraphale’s attempts. Or at least he had accepted it, until their delicate status quo had been disrupted.

    Aziraphale jumps to some very inaccurate conclusions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,664
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    3,487
    Bookmarks:
    528
    Hits:
    28,693

    25 May 2026

  20. Public Bookmark 78

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    As part of Hell’s peer evaluation process, Crowley has to go incognito to observe and review the work of a timeshare-selling demon. But it turns out that the timeshare presentation offer is only for married couples.

    Luckily, he knows just who to call.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,861
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    559
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    3,277

    19 May 2026

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