Mon_Kestrel
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Recent works
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Kíli and The Unmentionables by Kestrel (Mon_Kestrel)
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
15 Apr 2026
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Summary
"They were NOT flirting in there.” Kíli groaned miserably, he could still feel tingles down his spine from the way Bard-
“I thought the burglar was a virgin.” Dwalin huffed, nodding like he was impressed by it.
Nori laughed. “No way he was a virgin. Fifteen silvers say he and Gandalf-”
“Gandalf? He's so old-”
“He doesn't move like an old man, he outran Thorin when we were running from the wargs. And he picked up Nori and Dori by himself.”
“Wizards don't have sex!”
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Kíli overhears (read: spies on) something he shouldn't (Bilbo indulging in Bard's Hospitality iykwim) and the Company subsequently discovers he is a virgin.
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This is a short (mostly joking but I fwi) fic that will *most likely* never have a follow up.
Not overly lewd, Kíli cringes away from referring to anatomy properly. It's also not porn, though lowk Bilbo/Bard has huge potential for some particularly kinky shortfics....
ANYWAYS. Enjoy my very mild humor.
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Nothing is ever simple for Bilbo Baggins. His morning smoke becomes a prelude to dragon fire, his retirement beget a dabbling in fatherhood, his death became a call to action. He should have known being reborn would be the least simple of all. Cast back into a body younger than he had ever remembered being, with very little ability to remember at all.
Once again orphaned by the Fell, he seeks refuge with the only other family he's ever known: Dwarves.
Now if only he could remember why or how he knew the dwarrow in the first place, he might actually get something done!
°°°°
Alternatively: Dwobbit-adjacent amnesiac Bilbo discovers how to live like a dwarf, while puzzling over prophetic, impossible, dreams of dragon fire and conversations that have never occurred. The plants keep whispering secrets in his ears that no one else can hear, and what on earth is a soul bond?
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Something so Precious (It cannot Go) by Kestrel (Mon_Kestrel)
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
09 Mar 2026
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There is something dark lurking in Bag End.
It lingers in doorways and runs unwanted hands up unwilling, pliant bodies.~
Frodo loves his uncle Bilbo. He loves his pretty face and lovely stories. He especially loves when he cries. He loves watching that smooth, too-young face crumple with pain and fear. Loves the way his name sounds tearing out of Bilbo's mouth in a plea for mercy.
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King Arthur Pendragon, The Once and Future King of Albion, Ruler of Camelot, and Knight of the Round Table, had a nasty, dirty secret.
It was so clandestine, so twisted, so unfathomable that any to discover it simply had to be… dealt with. Never killed, of course- he isn't a monster- they were just.. distracted. They find themselves otherwise indisposed, perhaps finding a new job opportunity had cropped up- urgently- or that love was calling their name in a foreign land. Something in their life would change, a sudden nonviolent change that made the day prior slip away like a stray leaf in a river's current.
But that would never change the truth of it. The plain and simple of it was just this; Arthur Pendragon is a cuddler.
°•°•°•^•^
Alternatively:
Arthur is starting to realize his admiration of his knights (and mouthy manservant) goes a bit deeper than mere humor.
That his hand lingers too long when he attempts a simple squeeze of camaraderie on an armoured shoulder, and that when he slings an arm over Merlin to support himself during a laugh his arm doesn't retract for several moments too long. -
Enter Hisashi Midoriya by Mon_Kestrel
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
18 Dec 2025
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There once was a lovely young woman with forest green hair and amazing verdant eyes that glimmered in the sun. She was the very picture of perfection- or at least damn close.
> Enter Hisashi Midoriya
A starry eyed woman, mother-to-be, and her equally young husband with bright red eyes and a (hopefully) brighter future in the music industry.
> Enter Izuku Midoriya
Just as beautiful as his mother but with a splash of freckles and wild curls to match his father. He was loved quirkless for his first four years, why would not having one now change that? But there was that job in America and a boy with no quirk should be easier to deal with than one with a quirk.
> Exit Hisashi Midoriya
Who's that boy on the news? Deku? What kind of hero name is that?
Green Hair.. Insanely large smile.. Heart of gold.. Oh, Inko..
UA, huh? Way to go kid. All Might is at UA? I'd've loved to see his face.
I wonder how rusty my Japanese is? Maybe I'll visit Tokyo. If I see him then.. Well that's that.
[Second year of UA; Twelve years later
> Enter Hisashi Midoriya]
Recent bookmarks
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Kíli is delirious and determined to carry out some very important tasks. Bilbo proves his talent in handling a delusional dwarf.
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Bifur is a gentle soul, and would not have anything stand between him and that creature who is certainly not a dwarf, but travelling with them. Despite this, he manages to offend him, and goes to make it all better again.
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A play on a old fable, "The Lion's Paw", where a lion is stuck with a nasty thorn in its paw and cannot get it out until a sweet little mouse helps him.
Now let's replace "lion" with "Fili" and "mouse" with "Bilbo" and see what happens.
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If It Takes Forever (Forever It'll Be) by BoyOneder
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
07 Jan 2013
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Kíli sort've has a thing for Bilbo but he can't bring himself to say it. When words fail him he starts doing things to prove his love for the halfling but Bilbo is far too stubborn to see them as genuinely nice gestures.
Angst ensues. Oh, and sex.
Bookmarked by Kestrel (Mon_Kestrel)
16 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Kílbo!!! With butter 🧈 and a fair bit of plot :3
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Kili doesn't really know what he's doing, as much as he'd like to pretend otherwise.