Moonbloom259



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  1. Rec *

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    “I know it’s a little late for this, but I was thinking we should be exclusive,” Deadpool growls, halfway through the window with his gun out and pointed at the mound of comforter between Peter’s legs.

    “What the fuck,” Peter gasps. His thighs clench around Wade – it is Wade, isn’t in? – more because his entire body seems to be clamming up in shock than because he’s that desperate for an ill-timed orgasm. It really isn’t helping that Wade’s still going at it.

    “What the fuck is right,” Deadpool says. He cocks his gun. “This motherfucker has ‘til the count of three before I blow his brains out.”

    Or: Deadpool gets cut in half, resulting in two Deadpools. A threesome ensues.

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    28 Feb 2026

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  2. Rec *

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    "They always insist on going down on me and I have to pretend like they’re The One who’s finally good at it. But no one’s good at it. It’s just something that doesn’t feel good.”

    Wade’s eye twitches.

    Peter glares at him. “Say it.”

    “I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that they’re all bad at it, baby boy.”

    Or: Peter has never had a good experience getting head. Wade swears he can change his mind.

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    24 Jul 2023

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  3. Rec *

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    If he’s being honest, the second he decided he wasn’t going to go to the ER, he knew he’d be calling Wade. He’s done disgusting favors for Wade before, like collecting his scattered body parts and putting them back together. He’s reached his fingers into various cavities in Wade’s body to remove shrapnel and bullets and glass and all manner of things so that Wade wouldn’t have to heal around it.

    And, really, digging through your friend’s blood and guts is more disgusting than digging through their ass, right? If anything, Wade owes him this.

    Or: Peter gets a vibrator stuck in his ass. He calls Wade to help him get it out.

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    28 Feb 2026

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  4. Rec *

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    Peter and Wade get stuck in an unbelievably small closet. Then something else gets stuck elsewhere, also unbelievably.

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    24 Jul 2023

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  5. Rec *

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    “So, you’re investigating this not-so-bad-bad-guy, and you’re coming out of his apartment at—" Wade tilts his head to the side, just enough to check his watch “—almost exactly the time you usually start your patrol.”

    Peter chews on the inside of his cheek. “Yep,” he decides on.

    “And — just to be clear — I definitely shouldn’t unalive this guy instead of the douchebag across the street.”

    “Definitely not,” Peter agrees. “No one would like that.”

    Wade bangs his head against the fire escape again. “Okay, Webs. This one’s just to gauge if you’re smarter than a fifth grader: how much of that do you think I actually believe?”

    Or: Somehow, the components of Peter’s secret identity keep crumbling all around him.

    Also: He’s running out of excuses not to tell Wade that he’s in love with him.

    Series
    Language:
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    28 Feb 2026

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