Nickerry



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    Léa Martin @MrsLéaMartin92
    Shane Hollander is TAKEN !?

    Clara @mrsshanehollander4ever
    Shane Hollander has a BABY????

    Léonie @LeonieGagnon27328
    Is this officially the NHL’s cutest baby?

    Lily @BostonLily1991
    DOES THE BABY HAVE FRECKLES?

    Charlotte @charlottefromquébec
    Replying to @BostonLily1991
    what?

    One month before the tuna melt incident, pictures are posted online of Shane and Hayden’s outing to the aquarium.

    Within minutes, the internet is convinced that Shane Hollander has become a father, and people everywhere are mourning the fact that the NHL’s most eligible bachelor is off the market.

    “People everywhere” includes Ilya Rozanov.

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    02 Jul 2026

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    “Uh,” he says, looking up from his screen and feeling his ears go hot, realizing for the first time that this habit of his hasn’t actually come up before until this exact moment.

    “What?” Rozanov asks, sounding more amused than anything else. “You are one of the people who does Instagram for food now?”

    “No,” Shane says, stalling between answering and finishing his Snap so he can send it to Melissa, “one sec.” He finishes typing out 'Tuna melt. Chips. Pickles. It smells really good. Swiss cheese, I think.' before he looks back to Rozanov, putting his phone facedown on the coffee table. “Just sending it to someone on the staff. She likes knowing what I’m eating.”

    He doesn’t know if Melissa likes knowing what he’s eating, per se, but she also seems pleased when he talks about enjoying food for things beyond how many grams of protein it has in it.

    “Ah,” Rozanov says, in a tone Shane can’t quite read. “You always send her your food then, this girl?”

    (shane has a habit of sending his team's dietician his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)

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    02 Jul 2026

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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    02 Jul 2026

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    Hollander narrowed his eyes. “Are you… jealous?” he asked suspiciously.

    Ilya scoffed. “You can fuck whoever you want, I don’t give a shit.”

    “...Right.” Hollander pulled on his boxers before he dropped the towel. “Because it’s not like you don’t fuck other people too, you know.”

    “I know.”

    “And it’s not that you- you aren’t enough, or whatever.” Hollander turned even more red, looking down. “But, like, we don’t get to see each other that often.”

    “I know.”

    “And, you know, it turns out you can have a lot of anonymous sex if you’re gay. People are surprisingly okay with it.” He said it earnestly, like he was the first person in the world to make this discovery.

    Ilya forced himself to swallow, keeping his face carefully blank. “Is that so?”

    ~~

    OR: Shane downloads Grindr. Ilya goes into a jealous spiral
    set pre-tuna melt, 2015ish

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    02 Jul 2026

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    On the outside, Shane Hollander is one of the best and most beloved hockey players in the world.

    On the inside, there is a demon who has been whispering sweet nothings to him since one fateful night in 2008.

    And after several failed attempts to cleanse his cursed soul, Shane has to face the fact that he might be sharing his mind, body, and soul with a wicked little creature for the rest of his life. So... he might as well fall in love with it, right?

    OR; Ilya is a demon and Shane is accidentally possessed by him.

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    28 Jun 2026