Noraya



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    “Grace?"

    Grace shakes his head, bringing himself back into the moment. “Sorry, Rock. What’d you say?”

    “What Grace want for birthday,” Rocky repeats himself, tone more insistent this time.

    “Y’know,” Grace says, deciding an unrealistic idea is better than no idea at all, “I think I want a hug from my best friend. If you can figure that one out, you’ll never have to get me another birthday gift again.”

    “Rocky will continue to get Grace gifts anyway.” Grace flushes at the declaration, which he does not want to address. Rocky is quiet for a moment after, tapping his claws on the ground in thought. And before Grace can tell him he was just joking, don’t worry about it, just make him some xenonite barbells so he doesn’t lose these muscles so fast, Rocky is perking up and skittering to leave the room again. “Rocky know how to get Grace gift! Will take some time. Late gift. Will make up for it next Earth year.”

    (Or, the one where Rocky's birthday present to Grace ends up getting a little out of hand.)

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    18 Jun 2026

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    To Grace's knowledge (i.e. the Hail Mary's database, i.e. all of human knowledge), there have never been any studies done to confirm whether ambrein (a derivative of sperm whale digestive secretions!) actually functions as an aphrodisiac in humans or not.

    Well, 15.8 light years from Earth, he's about to find out. Because the cytoplasm of Taumoeba consists in large parts of a triterpene alcohol that is startlingly similar to ambrein — and baby, he's all out of coma slurry.

    Or: The sex pollen amoeba fic you (never) asked for.


    Rocky utters a wordless little trill, half concerned and half curious. Always curious, and why would this be an exception? If anything, this is me conducting a pilot study on the unusual effects of Taumoeba on the human body, and oh is he ever morbidly fascinated by the many things my gross, leaky body does.

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    18 Jun 2026

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    Sometimes, when you're moving through space with very little to do and a lot of time to do it in, your alien best friend and roommate will ask you to stick your fingers in your mouth, and sometimes you've just got to say yes. Ignoring what they say about curiosity and cats.

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    18 Jun 2026

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    “Grace can feel song, question?” Rocky asked, slower than usual. The cooing had lulled him, too.

    I… Maybe? Yeah,” Grace whispered, and Rocky had to focus to understand the slurring.

    “Humans can feel sound, question?”

    Grace huffed a small laugh. “Sometimes, yeah. For example, when the sound is… very low and loud, we can feel it in our chests.

    “Song is neither low nor loud.” That would have an entirely different effect.

    I know. I can still feel it, I think. It’s strange.

    “Good strange, question?”

    Good strange, yeah.

    Grace could feel sound. Grace could feel Rocky’s songs.

    Hmm.

    Rocky discovers nature's laws aren't as inflexible as they'd thought. He puts this to good use.

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    18 Jun 2026

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    “So, I was thinking about why I’ve been throwing up. I think some of it is the actual, physical properties of the taumoeba, but I honestly think half the battle is the taste. See, humans use smell and taste to tell us if food is going to make us sick, like it’s moldy or smells weird, that sends a signal for disgust to our brains to stop us from eating it, and that triggers nausea.”

    “I feel this way about all human food,” I say, and Grace rolls its eyes.

    “Sure. But I think my brain is being overprotective about the taumoeba. It’s the same reason why human kids get picky or people throw up during pregnancy, even when the food they’re eating is perfectly edible. My brain is signalling to me that I shouldn’t want it in my body, mostly because -- well, I don’t. It smells like mildew and algae and has the texture of chia seed pudding that was forgotten at the back of a fridge. But that’s making me nauseous when I even think about putting it in my mouth, which makes me more likely to throw up.”

    “But how would you eat without using your mouth?” I ask.

    Grace grins at me. “That, my friend, is exactly the question I’ve been asking myself. And I think the answer might be something called a nasogastric tube."

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    18 Jun 2026