ProfessionalXylophone



Recent bookmarks

  1. Rec *

    Simon Quit Kicking Rocky by

    Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Iron Lung (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, The Fall Guy (2024), The Gray Man (2022)  

    06 Jul 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    What if Simon was in some of the logs sent on the beetles? How would the people of Earth react?

    I have no clue what I'm doing, this is my first fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,992
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    783
    Kudos:
    3,112
    Bookmarks:
    553
    Hits:
    45,919
    Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone

    07 Jul 2026

  2. Rec *

    Tom Ryder is Graceless by

    Fandom Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, The Fall Guy (2024), The Gray Man (2022), The Nice Guys (2016)

    07 Jul 2026

    Words:
    71,457
    Works:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone

    03 Jul 2026

  3. Rec *

    Pay Check by

    Fandoms: The Fall Guy (2024), Project Hail Mary (2026)  

    24 Jun 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    Here’s the problem: Grace has a soulmate.
    His soulmate is looking for him. Would be great, if there wasn’t a big pay check attached to it.

    “Tom Ryder, Hollywood’s favourite playboy, seeking soulmate to settle down.”

    But Colt had told him “oh yeah, Gail is basically forcing him to do this for the publicity. She thought a grand love story behind the scenes would create hype for the movie.”
    And the soulmate would receive quite the hefty check for staying silent and being professional arm candy.

    Because, apparently everyone fussed over that Gosling guy and his soulmate wife. The fans need a new “perfect” couple to become scarily parasocial with.

    Grace is not about to be a freaking pay check.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,899
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Comments:
    886
    Kudos:
    1,724
    Bookmarks:
    311
    Hits:
    34,405
    Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone

    10 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

    SWAK by

    Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)  

    18 May 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    “I don’t know,” says Simon. “I don’t even know where we’re going, they won’t tell me.” He buries his face in his knees and arms again, and Grace hears something that sounds suspiciously like a sob. Maybe Simon’s eyeballs were sweating too.

    “You have to promise you’ll come back,” Grace demands, his own lower lip trembling. "Pinky promise!" He jabs his pinky into Simon’s cheek and pokes him with it until Simon looks up.

    Simon’s eyes are red-rimmed, but Grace’s glad that he’s managed to surprise just the tiniest smile from him. “I’m not pinky promising, that shit’s for babies,” he says, eyeing Grace’s extended pinky with mock disdain.

    “Then how am I supposed to know you’ll keep your promise?” Grace shoots back.

    “We gotta seal the deal with something else,” Simon says seriously.

     

    or

     

    A modern-day AU with no astrophage or the quiet rapture where Simon and Grace are childhood friends and met at a playground when they were eight.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,951
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    338
    Kudos:
    1,599
    Bookmarks:
    340
    Hits:
    13,137
    Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone

    19 May 2026

  5. Rec *

    Update (15/ ? ) by

    Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026)  

    22 Apr 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    "So. I somehow got shot into space, lost my memory, everyone else died, and this is what's going to haunt me?"

    Grace gestured wildly with the sticker.

    "My AO3 stats?!"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,349
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    928
    Kudos:
    5,117
    Bookmarks:
    967
    Hits:
    19,368
    Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone

    17 May 2026