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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Lilith has returned. She has all the cards in her hands and Alastor's invisible leash wrapped around her perfect fingers - but no one who has played poker with Alastor would suggest counting him out before the game is over.

     

     

    Alastor has faced some of the greatest evils that have ever existed - has stood firm in back alleys against overlords stronger than him, has several times dodged exorcist spears and even divine guitars.

     

     

     

    He is NOT going to be defeated by a fucking HOTEL ROOM and the desperate housewife from HELL.

     

     

    Alternative summary: Alastor spends a sizeable amount of time locked in single combat with a hotel room door, Vaggie grows as a person, Lucifer Morningstar is Very Concerned that his ex-wife and current-whatever may be getting along too well, Charlie spends a lot of time being confused, Frederick von Eldrich comes out of retirement with style, the Archangel Michael develops a headache, and Vox attempts to de-bug his conscience.

    There are also copious musical references for no good reason whatsoever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    291,988
    Chapters:
    40/40
    Comments:
    3,053
    Kudos:
    3,233
    Bookmarks:
    453
    Hits:
    105,297

    03 Dec 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    How to fuck everything up in a few easy steps: a biography by me.

    There’s rebirth, then there’s rebirth into a body that can’t speak without fucking up the natural order of the universe. Welcome, this brand new life.

     

    Wherein a very very very reluctant semi-si/oc gets reincarnated as Inumaki Toge’s twin sister and decides that dying horribly via ugly ass cursed spirits with way too many teeth and eyeballs is marginally worse than the trauma of being alive.

    Features: having both arms, not being able to talk like a normal person, and avoiding Gojō fucking Satoru like the plague.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,391
    Chapters:
    18/30
    Collections:
    27
    Comments:
    1,168
    Kudos:
    5,025
    Bookmarks:
    1,965
    Hits:
    132,322

    19 Jul 2024

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    What if Sakura was placed on a different team, and her spot on Team 7 was given to another?
    Enter Team 4, under Genma-sensei: Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Neji and Nara Shikamaru. Put together on paper they make the perfect infiltration and retrieval team!
    In practice? It takes... a while.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,207
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    508
    Kudos:
    2,419
    Bookmarks:
    809
    Hits:
    51,455

    07 Jan 2024

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Everyone knows Dementors can take souls, but nothing says that they have to keep them. After the Dementor attack in Little Whinging ends disastrously, Harry must find a place for himself in a new world, fighting a different sort of war against the nascent Voldemort.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    409,773
    Chapters:
    45/45
    Collections:
    87
    Comments:
    4,124
    Kudos:
    17,956
    Bookmarks:
    8,434
    Hits:
    754,387

    02 Sep 2023

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s a sad day at the academy when their teacher tells them that the class clown, Naruto, died in an accident last night. Sakura should be sad, or maybe a little distressed. Well, she’s a lot distressed. Not because Naruto is dead. No, she’s distressed because she woke up this morning with Naruto’s voice in her head panicking and telling her that he was attacked last night. Now he’s cussing out the teacher in her head because 'it wasn’t an accident! I was attacked, you lying bastard!' while Inner tries to calm him down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,149
    Chapters:
    35/?
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    1,264
    Kudos:
    5,598
    Bookmarks:
    1,862
    Hits:
    126,862

    30 Jul 2023

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It was a stupid mistake. A silly, stupid mistake. It was never supposed to escalate this much. It was never supposed to cause this much trouble.

    He grabbed the wrong briefcase. That was it. That was all.

    He didn't know it would be this dangerous.

    And now, one by one, his entire team is going to fall. All because of one stupid, silly, little mistake.

    (Or the one where Havoc goes straight up Rambo, Hawkeye gets a taste for human flesh, Fuery uses his Fuery-ness to get himself out of this situation, Falman stabs a man or two, Mustang learns a new use for flame alchemy, Ed learns about the wonderful world of torture and espionage, and Breda just wants a nap)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    132,375
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,013
    Kudos:
    1,651
    Bookmarks:
    443
    Hits:
    56,105

    01 May 2023

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Sakura gives up on Kakashi-sensei as a teacher after Team 7 falls apart. However, her plans get thrown out the window when a mission gone wrong leaves Kakashi-sensei stranded elsewhen in time and a different Kakashi is slotted into his place in the timeline.

    Hatake-sensei just wants his dogs back and is deeply offended by the mess of a team the other him had made. Detangling Sakura's deficiencies is going to take a good while and, since team training always works better with an actual team…

    Ino hesitates when Sakura asks her to join Team 7. Everything Sakura had ever said about Kakashi-sensei says it is a terrible idea and yet, she joins anyway–mostly for Sakura but also because this new Hatake-sensei pushes them through training like their lives depend upon it.

    And they do.

    They're ninja–and they've got to be ready.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    281,761
    Chapters:
    62/?
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    1,363
    Kudos:
    2,891
    Bookmarks:
    1,132
    Hits:
    96,537

    22 Apr 2023

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    What happens when you find out the end-all to your life wasn't your revenge? When you come to understand that you don't know what comes next? Life often continues whether or not a chapter ends, and Hina is finding out that the unknown can be both beautiful and terrifying. She died chocking on a vegetable, and was reborn in a twist of fate named after the thing that killed her. Certainly life couldn't get weirder than that... right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100,190
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    329
    Kudos:
    910
    Bookmarks:
    252
    Hits:
    27,302

    19 May 2022

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Kakashi comes down with a cold seven(ish?) days after he passes his first genin team. He knew children were a bad idea but he didn't think it would change anything this fast.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    123,742
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    2,347
    Kudos:
    6,287
    Bookmarks:
    2,399
    Hits:
    180,861

    01 May 2022

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Being born as the fifth child of the once prosperous Tsunemori family has never been easy for Honōka. Throw in the fact that she was Tachibana Tomoe first, a troubled girl from Tokyo who grew up in the 90s, and you have a recipe for disaster.

    Having struggled with social cues even as Tomoe, being stuck in the infant body of Tsunemori Honōka does not help her case. As the only dark-haired child born to fair-haired parents, Honōka faces hostility, uncertainty, and abuse from the members of her new family.

    A child that does not resemble their parents is, as they say, the child of an oni.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    355,227
    Chapters:
    183/?
    Collections:
    108
    Comments:
    14,349
    Kudos:
    13,027
    Bookmarks:
    4,763
    Hits:
    717,699

    26 Apr 2022

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In one universe, Orochimaru's Sound team wait until Sakura has set up camp to attack. In this universe, she is not so lucky.

    Sakura - tired, beaten, and bloody in the Chuunin Exams - is given the chance to become something great. The price of strength is steep, but her new mentor is here to guide her on the path to protecting her teammates. And Kami help anyone who gets in the way of protecting her teammates.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    102,480
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    803
    Kudos:
    3,656
    Bookmarks:
    1,190
    Hits:
    93,826

    17 Apr 2022

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Anyone who tells you that Hidden Leaf is the nice village is a lying liar who lies."

    The more she sees of the village, the more she hates it. Upon being reborn, a former math major does what she must to protect herself from both the war outside, and the machinations of her own village.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    161,256
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Collections:
    29
    Comments:
    1,346
    Kudos:
    5,052
    Bookmarks:
    2,242
    Hits:
    187,413

    08 Feb 2022

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Desperate times call for desperate measures. If this means forcing weapons into the hands of children, then so be it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,024
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    438
    Kudos:
    2,126
    Bookmarks:
    852
    Hits:
    46,567

    08 Nov 2021

  14. Public Bookmark 54

    Tags
    Summary

    “You’re going to play my music for me?” Keyleth says. “You realize I usually practice for hours, right?”

    “I’m a musician, I get practicing,” Kash says. He raises an eyebrow. “Are you coming, or what?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,394
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    201
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    2,051

    22 Sep 2021

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "wherever i am, the world comes after me. it offers me its busyness. it does not believe that i do not want it. now i understand why the old poets of china went so far and high into the mountains, then crept into the pale mist." - mary oliver, the old poets of china.

    an accidental not-child is raised hidden in a red light district until a fateful event alters the course of her life and leads to her being sent away to be raised by her father.

    a somewhat accurate look at the redlight districts of japan before the fall of the tokugawa rule, an eventual introduction to myths and legends of japan with a lovely little sprinkle of panic attacks and moral dilemmas. SI-OC.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,000
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Collections:
    31
    Comments:
    539
    Kudos:
    3,347
    Bookmarks:
    1,497
    Hits:
    75,663

    11 Sep 2021

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    She bows low, her arms against her sides, saying something even Gal doesn't seem to understand. Then she points at herself, before pointing at the man.

    “Sakura,” she says. “Sasuke.”

    Gal smiles, the kind that Barukh cherishes. “Welcome to Ishval, Sakura.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,439
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    12
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    2,402
    Bookmarks:
    988
    Hits:
    30,006

    07 Sep 2021

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It's time to stop waiting for other people to save you. A story about fear, resilience, and Sakura.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    326,155
    Chapters:
    78/78
    Collections:
    25
    Comments:
    2,023
    Kudos:
    6,339
    Bookmarks:
    2,801
    Hits:
    319,982

    07 Sep 2021

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.

    Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    121,089
    Chapters:
    46/?
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    2,471
    Kudos:
    4,616
    Bookmarks:
    1,153
    Hits:
    112,795

    24 Aug 2021

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Haruno Sakura wanted nothing more than to exist.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,701
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Collections:
    45
    Comments:
    1,210
    Kudos:
    10,904
    Bookmarks:
    3,171
    Hits:
    271,059

    24 Jul 2021

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The twins come to live with their father in Westruun - new town, new school, new strange kids in their class that might, with time, become their friends after all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,825
    Chapters:
    46/?
    Comments:
    343
    Kudos:
    858
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    16,678

    03 Jun 2021

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