Samderella



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  2. Summary

    This couple lives rent free in my head like Mary Ann lived in Gorgug's all year.

    I've finally found a rarepair so rare I'm forced to write my own fics for it. First three are explicit smut but All Pulp No Juice is basically just fluff.

    Words:
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    “My boyfriend thinks I’m an idiot,” Ilya says. "Well, not really but a bit, maybe.”

    “Your boyfriend?” Sandra, the queer studies professor sits down, hard.

    “Yes, he thinks it is not smart to say faggot in the locker room when you are locked in the closet and Russia has the keys.”

    Ilya had been talking about himself when he’d said it. Making a joke. Sailing a little close to the wind, sick of listening to the background hum of homophobic bullshit. But someone had been filming. The video went viral. The Raiders panicked under the terrible PR. Now he was here.

    Sent to Queer Studies 101 to appease twitter. Because he’d been cancelled. For being a homophobe. If was fucking ridiculous.

    He turns to the professor. “So, can you help me take on Putin and NHL at same time or I need more advanced class for this?”

    Plus Chapter 2 – Social media chapter. Once they've been outed, Ilya gets to demand an apology from twitter.

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    17 Jun 2026

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    Ilya and Shane get outed via instagram live… as friends. The world reacts as their friendship becomes the most talked about thing in the hockey world.

    Being openly friends affords them more freedoms to be together, but all the more easy to lose it all.

    AKA

    Shane has a touch of Hudson Williams to him

    Language:
    English
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    70,468
    Chapters:
    14/?
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    24 May 2026

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    "Hollander..." The name came out strangled, broken. "Fuck. Fuck, I forgot—"

    Shane understood in the same instant, the absence of latex a shocking heat inside him. 

    Christ. 

    or - the boys forget to use condoms for the first time

    Pt2 - Ilya Rozanov does, in fact, own a belt

    Language:
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    16 Jun 2026

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    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
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    3/3
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    15 Jun 2026

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    Page Six News @pagesix

    BREAKING: Centaurs forward Shane Hollander, 34, arrested after altercation in Montreal while celebrating with teammates following Ottawa win. More: pagesix.bit.ly/83nb45bvh….

    [IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Shane Hollander is led towards a police car by a uniformed officer. Hollander has a bloody nose, and blood on the collar of his dress shirt.]

    Hellander @Hollzys

    maybe not the time but shane is 32! 

    lexi loves ! 💕@lexlance

    HOLY SHIT???? IS HE OKAY????

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,817
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
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    15 Jun 2026