Stingynugget



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    Shoko hums, reaching for Gojo’s wrist. She raises it barely off of the surface where Satoru rests, her eyebrows pinched slightly in concentration. When she lets it go, there’s something like confusion faintly tracing her face.

    “Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” she finally admits. “Gojo is, for all intents and purposes…” She pauses, looking hesitant at her own words. Megumi doesn’t miss the way Geto stiffens in anticipation. “Well, asleep.”

    “Asleep,” Geto repeats incredulously after a stagnant pause. “What do you mean, asleep?”

    “I mean asleep,” Shoko says with a helpless shrug. “His brain functions are all normal, there’s nothing blocking his cursed energy—he’s just asleep.”

    Geto stares blankly at her. “So how do we wake him up?”

    “Have you tried pouring a bucket of water on him?”

    Geto’s stare does not become any more amused. Shoko snickers. “Look, I don’t know. True love’s kiss, maybe—?” She cuts herself off. Her eyes widen. “Wait.”

    ---

    or, Gojo keeps falling asleep. to Megumi's utter dismay, the only way to wake him up is to get a kiss from his almost-boyfriend, almost-husband best friend.

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    06 Jul 2026

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    Suguru dead-eyes him across the table.

    “Please listen to me, man.” Satoru says.

    “No.” Suguru responds in that long suffering way that means he’s going to listen to Satoru but he’s gonna be pissy about it first. “It’s, fucking, 7AM.” Suguru adds. Suguru is not a morning person. It’s why Satoru went and bought the fancy coffee Suguru likes and breakfast sandwiches and red bean buns. He had to go to the bakery across town to get those.

    “It’s so important.” Satoru tells him.

    “Your opening gambit at 7-fucking-AM was ‘say I’ve gotten into anal play lately, why do I leak cum before I cum?’” Suguru says with a glare.

    “Yeah.” Satoru says.

    Suguru glares even harder.

    “Well, you could answer me at least.” Satoru huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

    “I hope you fall off a bridge and die.” Suguru tells him, but he’s unwrapping a breakfast sandwich and pulling the lid off one of the cups of coffee, so.

    “I hope you do too.” Satoru says amicably, taking a seat. He pushes some napkins toward Suguru and switches out the breakfast sandwich. Suguru likes the ones with avocado better. “So why do I?”

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    23 Jun 2026

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    The next day, Suguru finds Gojo nursing a bandaid on the bridge of his nose. He can’t help the thrill of glee that runs up his spine when the other begrudgingly moves his feet off of the desk when Suguru approaches.

    Suck it, he wants to say when he sees the scowl on Gojo’s face. Instead, Suguru smiles.

    “Hey,” he starts. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.” Understatement of the century. “My name’s Suguru Geto, what’s yours?” It’s a question asked purely for formalities, and he’s sure Gojo knows that, but he’s still unprepared for the other’s answer.

    “Your mom,” Gojo drawls out, and Suguru realizes he’s starting to see why people want this kid dead.

    ---

    or, Suguru is a contract killer. his final target is Satoru Gojo. this isn't a problem until it is.

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    22 Jun 2026

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    “Satoru, are you okay?”

    Satoru isn’t meeting Suguru’s eyes—instead, he stares resolutely at the glasses still in his hands. It’s only because he’s not wearing them that Suguru can see the splotchy red spreading across Satoru’s entire face. Suguru watches, fascinated, as the blush reaches the tips of Satoru’s ears.

    “Are you,” Suguru asks again, hesitantly, “okay…?” He’s half-convinced Satoru’s got a fever, with the fiery red that now creeps down his neck, but when he moves to check the other’s temperature, Satoru scrambles backward with a high-pitched giggle.

    “Fine,” he wheezes out, and he finally meets Suguru’s skeptical gaze, only for his eyes to quickly skitter away as soon as they make contact. “I’m fine!”

    ---

    or, Suguru learns that Satoru blushes easily. he finds this more entertaining than he thinks he should.

    ---

    Ukranian translation available here!

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    21 Jun 2026

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    “I’m in love with Satoru,” Suguru says again.

    “So you’ve said,” Shoko says, sounding wearier than she has any right to be. “You want the good news or the bad news?” Suguru opens his mouth to answer, but Shoko apparently deems the answer unnecessary as she continues. “The good news is I’ve figured out what’s wrong with you, the bad news is that you probably won’t like it.”

    Suguru stares at Shoko, hoping he doesn’t have to vocalize his obvious question.

    “Whatever’s blocking your cursed energy also has the ability to stop you from saying certain things—specifically, lies,” she clarifies. “Basically, your body is forcing you to tell only the truth for the time being.” She shrugs. “If you try to resist, well. You know what happens.”

    Suguru continues staring at Shoko.

    “So it’s true, then?” he says slowly. “I’m in love with Satoru?”

    ---

    or, Suguru ingests a curse that forces him to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

    ---

    Russian translation available here!
    Ukrainian translation available here!

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    21 Jun 2026