TappingAsses
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“Jersey didn’t treat you kindly, did it? Always knew that place sucks the life outta you.”
Kyle blinks, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he removes his hands from his eyes. His vision focuses on the bartender in front of him.
Oh, Christ.
He’s changed a bit since high school, appearance-wise, but there’s no doubt that the man in front of him is Eric Cartman. He’s still sporting the same, round face, although now it’s coupled with a bit of stubble. His once wavy, brown hair is now trimmed short and pointed. A tattoo sleeve runs along his right arm, consisting of a snake, a cat, and several other random designs that Kyle can’t quite distinguish in the low lighting of the bar.
“...Cartman,” Kyle replies curtly. Of course he would run into someone he used to know. And of course it'd be someone like Cartman.
Sometimes, when you're at your lowest, it's the people whom you least expect that manage to bring you back up.
Bookmarked by TappingAsses
01 Jul 2026
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Over a decade after high school graduation, Cartman finds out that Kyle has an Only Fans page. Obviously, this pisses him off enough to pay for a subscription. Now, Kyle has him right where he wants him.
Except, Kyle starts to discover old secrets that may permanently alter his friendship with Stan.
OR
Stan plays with fire when he gets in the middle of Kyle and Cartman's relationship.
Bookmarked by TappingAsses
01 Jul 2026
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When Cartman starts hooking up with the Imaginationland version of Kyle, everyone just rolls with it. But the real Kyle, naturally, has some concerns. Namely, how it's affecting his feelings towards Cartman. But when he finds out that his horny doppleganger would like to experience a life outside of Cartman's bedroom, they decide to do a Prince and the Pauper style swap.
But will Cartman find out? And would it be the worst thing in the world if he does?
Bookmarked by TappingAsses
01 Jul 2026
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Our hearts needs work, I’m scared we’re born to lose by AliensExist_IYA
Fandoms: South Park
24 Jun 2026
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Adult Kyle finds himself living with a much more successful Eric Cartman as a favor.
Unfortunately for him, his brain decided to go into a quarter-life crisis and just make him behave like a horny teenager all over again.
Hopefully he will resist the urges to solve his sexuality dilemma and not ruin his opportunity to live in a place with fantastic water pressure.
Spoiler: he doesn't.Bookmarked by TappingAsses
29 Jun 2026
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When Santos is forced to work alongside Langdon on a case, she might have to finally reckon with the fact that maybe they're not so different after all.
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28 Jun 2026