TheInsectAsylum
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Summary
The world ends. Everyone and everything is gone and because of this, there is nothing left to feed the fears or The Archive. They are starving. So the fears send The Archive back in time through one of the few artifacts that still remain.
Though The Archive doesn't know this. It simply thinks that the entities are finally letting it die. It's very wrong with this assumption as he then wakes up in his eight year old body.
Bookmarked by TheInsectAsylum
18 Jun 2026
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Jon Sims, Barista, has everything he ever wanted: a boring coffee shop managerial position, a quirky friend group of disaffected 20somethings, and a will-they-or-won't-they with the village idiot.
Jon Sims, Barista, does not exist.
Jon Sims the Archivist has everything that doesn't exist: a job at a coffee shop full of horrors that wasn't there yesterday, a tip jar full of worms that seem to follow him, and a heteronormative capitalist future where happiness exists without effort.
Jon Sims is dead. Long live Jon Sims. Long Live The Coffee Shop AU.
Bookmarked by TheInsectAsylum
18 Jun 2026
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Despite a widespread belief to the contrary that he had taken years to cultivate, Scott was nowhere near as ditzy and airheaded as he appeared. When he followed Pyro and Owen into the woods at night without any weapons on him, he was doing so while being fully aware of his cicerones’ lack of humanity. It just so happened that he liked his odds with them better than with those peasants back in the village who’d accused him of murder after he’d lost sight of Shelby for a couple of hours.
That said, he would have preferred it if they hurried along their little fang-measuring contest, because with the sun still buried deep beyond the horizon, the air was incredibly chilly. It didn’t help that they were on a small island in the middle of a lake, so he was wet as well.
Where was Abolish when he needed a handsome butler to roughly wrap a jacket around his shoulders and complain that he’d lose his job if he died?
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or, How would the story have unfolded had Pyro's and Scott's roles been reversed?
Bookmarked by TheInsectAsylum
11 Jun 2026
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Martin couldn’t remember exactly when or why he’d joined the Knights of the Lonely. He supposed that was by design.
Knights of the Lonely weren’t meant to last long. They were built to take blows, and, if necessary, they were built to die. He supposed that suited him fine.
But upon an assignment to escort the Watcher’s betrothed to the Kingdom of Beholding, Martin began to realize that, perhaps, there was something he was missing. Perhaps it was in the shape of a person with bright, intelligent eyes and acerbic wit, with prickly edges and a gentle smile when he thought no one was looking.
There was only one problem. He wasn’t meant to let the Watcher’s betrothed reach the kingdom alive.
Podfic version.
Bookmarked by TheInsectAsylum
26 May 2026
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“'Are you just here to—to make fun of me, then?'
Helen smiled faintly. 'Would you believe me if I said we were here to help you?'
Jon blinked. That made even less sense than the idea that they were treating him as some sort of zoo animal. 'Probably not,' he finally managed. 'Are you?'
Helen tilted her head to the side, seeming to consider her reply. 'That depends on you.'”
Or: the one where, after the archival assistants stage their 'intervention' to stop Jon from taking live statements, a little group of avatars, assembled by Helen, stage a different intervention.
They agree he's making terrible life choices. They have very different opinions about what those terrible life choices are.
(Or: wanna see how many TMA-related heartbreaks I can fix by giving Jon some actual friends?)
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Bookmarked by TheInsectAsylum
24 May 2026