Turkamatic



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense.

    The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion.

    Or:
    Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander.
    Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,329
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    24 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Anyway, Shane didn't remember exactly what was in the folder ... But he knew they were all good shots of him.

    He hastily clicked open the folder, his eyes barely glancing through the dozen or so shots there, vaguely registering a picture with a sunset background from his condo balcony, something of him laughing, a picture of him working at his laptop with his glasses on...

    The director called him again, and he shook his head, the photos blurring. Whatever. It would have to do.

    He clicked "select all," then the messages icon, then Rozanov's name. Hit send.

    ----

    Or: When never-hooked-up Shane and Ilya have to collaborate on a league charity project, Shane accidentally sends Ilya a nude.

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    Chapters:
    11/11
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    23 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Wait, I could totally see that,” Connors says. “She wears reading glasses and he’s, like, obsessed with them. Sometimes on the road, he calls her from the bathroom and I hear him begging her to put them on.”

    “The glasses! I heard that too.” Shit, it must be a fetish, right? She doesn’t just happen to be old. Rozy likes that she’s old.

    Or: Cliff figures out why Ilya’s keeping his Montreal girl a secret. She’s not a girl at all...she's an elderly woman. Or maybe an elderly man?

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    23 Jun 2026

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    Hayden watches Shane, almost expecting him to go, "wow, I was hacked while we were at practice, look at these weird messages!". But no such luck. Shane smiles.

    A real smile, a big one, his text from Lily smile. God, Hayden was so sure they were sending each other endless strings of heart emojis and "I miss you more" "no, I miss you more"s, not…that. Never in a million years would he have guessed that.

    Or: 5 times someone's shocked to learn that Shane's a little freaky, +1 time someone isn't

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    23 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Scott: I’ve been getting asked if it’s me. I considered denying but if we all deny and one person doesn’t, that sort of gives their identity away and I’m not sure they want that.
    Ilya: Everyone thinks is me. My agent asked if I want to comment too
    Scott: Wait, it's not you?
    Ilya: Maybe 🤔 Or maybe not 🤪
    Eric: What?

    Or: When Adrian Dela Cruz reveals he dated an NHL player, chaos and damage control ensue. A story told through texts, tweets, and one pretentious Variety article.

    Series
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    English
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    5,834
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    1/1
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    302,628

    22 Jun 2026