Vnerd



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    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

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    08 Jul 2026

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    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

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    03 Jul 2026

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    “Hi Milana,” he murmured, voice gentle. “I’m Ilya, your father’s brother. Did your mama tell you I was coming over?”

    Milana nodded and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, gaze contemplative as Ilya held out a hand to her. He didn’t touch her, didn’t broach the barrier of the doorframe, just held his palm out, a gesture of vulnerability, exposing soft skin. When he’d been a child, listening out for the sound of his father’s footfalls down the hall, trying to guess at what mood the man was in that day, if today was a day he would likely be hit, those gestures of vulnerability–upturned palms, tears on cheeks–had been the only thing he’d trusted. The wounded animal in his sternum reaching out for comfort, seeking safety in the fragility of others. Proof that he wasn’t the weakest one.

    Or: After spending Christmas with the Hollanders Ilya realises he has unfinished business in Moscow; namely, saying goodbye to his mother's grave and recovering the pieces of his history. Before meeting Shane at the cottage for their second summer together - and before upending his life and moving to another country once again - Ilya decides to return to his home city and attempt to lay his past to rest.

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    21 Jun 2026

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    Immediately following the events of Episode 6, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov return to the cottage and spend the next number of days talking, fucking, and sharing secrets about their relationship the other person doesn't know.

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    28 May 2026

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    After Shane films an obscenely slutty advertisement for a sports drink company, the whole goddamn world decides he’s their new favorite sex symbol. Ilya reacts perfectly normally to this latest development.

    Or, 5 times Ilya is consumed with jealousy over his own fucking boyfriend + 1 time Shane shows him who he really belongs to.

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    27 Apr 2026