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'Cause Everybody's Gotta Find Somebody (That's The Point in Every Movie) by hecatesthirdface
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
01 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ed and Stede, close friends since meeting shortly after Stede’s divorce (5 years ago), are tired of looking for love. Stede’s convinced he’s not cut out for dating and relationships, even if it’s finally with men, and Ed has only ever had short-term relationships with no real love.
On New Year’s Eve, the two make a drunken pact: THIS is the year they’ll find love. If by the end of the year they haven't fallen in love with someone, they’ll marry each other, just to finally have a partner. No cowering. They vow to help each other find their “Mr. Right.”
But as the months go by, both start to wonder: has he been in front of me the whole time?
Series
- Part 19 of The Gospel of Ace4Ace Gentlebeard
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
27 Oct 2025
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Summary
He stretches; the window is open, bringing with it the faintest rush of heady sea-air from the nearby, beloved ocean. The white and purple hyacinths that Stede picked yesterday wave slightly in the breeze from their vase on the window-sill, filling the room with the smell of something impossibly sweet, like a fruit tea or a perfect spring day that Ed might have experienced in his youth.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
27 May 2025
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'Ed is lying boneless on his sofa.
Well, not boneless, his bones are all still there, but they feel mushy, pulverized by the aching of his muscles.
He’s lying on the sofa like a noodle, if noodles could feel stiff and mushy at the same time. Under and over cooked. That’s him.'
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,062
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 196
- Kudos:
- 259
- Bookmarks:
- 39
- Hits:
- 3,055
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
27 May 2025
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the sun has a wonderfully glorious habit of rising every morning by CartoonMayor
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
23 May 2025
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Summary
Stede gets lost on a hike in the mountains. Just when he thinks he might not make it, he discovers a house occupied by a beautiful, naked man watching the sunset. Ed saves him from peril and then saves him in other ways.
Series
- Part 9 of Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
22 May 2025
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Ed and Stede are Friends by hecatesthirdface
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Frog and Toad - Arnold Lobel
29 Mar 2025
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Summary
For OFMD Aro/Ace Week Day 7: Non-sexual intimacy / "This is...nice."
Ed and Stede are friends.
Very good friends, in fact. Such good friends that one wonders if there is a world where they aren’t friends.
Ed and Stede would say there is not.
—
This is a story of our two boys in a very loving and gentle queerplatonic relationship, inspired by Arnold Lobel’s Frog and Toad books.
Series
- Part 26 of The Gospel of Ace4Ace Gentlebeard
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,066
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 34
- Kudos:
- 43
- Bookmarks:
- 8
- Hits:
- 340
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
05 Apr 2025
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i’m hungry and it’s time to sup by CartoonMayor for fakegeeklady
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Mar 2025
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Summary
Ed Teach wakes up in a strange bed after a night of heavy drinking. The man who lives in the house - Stede - has left him a very nice note letting him know he's safe and proceeds to take care of him all day.
Series
- Part 8 of Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
03 Apr 2025
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I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) by oatmilktruther
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Sep 2024
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Summary
It’s Stede’s fault.
Ed only called him babe, and it was once, and besides which, Frenchie calls people babe all the time and he’s literally aro, so it doesn’t have to mean anything.
But then Stede leans over and says, with a wink “Sweetheart, I’m going to hit the bar, would you like anything?”
Sweetheart.
It's definitely Stede's fault.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
30 Mar 2025
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Summary
South Jersey realtor Stede Bonnet goes to a NYC play and becomes smitten with actor Edward "Blackbeard" Teach. After sending him a fan letter, the two connect and become enamored with each other although both have issues to overcome.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
09 Mar 2025
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Summary
Stede Bonnet likes to fix up old or damaged stuffed toys on the side of his tailor's business. When his best friend Ed brings in a very special patient, Stede knows he has to do an amazing job to make Ed's Hannukah special.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
27 Feb 2025
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Summary
Ed's friends cancel on his birthday dinner one by one, leaving him alone at a restaurant in a fabulous outfit.
A friendly bartender suggests he pay a visit to Revenge Bakery down the road to try and salvage his night - enter Stede Bonnet.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
16 Feb 2025
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Summary
Lonely wildlife rescue volunteer Stede Bonnet spends his weekends wandering Western Australia's beautiful South Coast beaches looking out for birds in need of rescue. He gets more than he bargained for this weekend when he stumbles across an Antarctic emperor penguin that's ended up several thousand kilometres from home.
His new friend (soon to be nemesis) needs more expert care than he can provide, but he's five hours from the city and clueless. Thankfully, the zoo's penguin expert Edward Teach answers his call and comes down to rescue them both, in more ways than one.
Series
- Part 8 of Silly Spicy Sweet One-Shots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,030
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 360
- Bookmarks:
- 54
- Hits:
- 2,583
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
22 Nov 2024
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Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
20 Nov 2024
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Summary
Ed loves Gay Halloween. It's his favorite holiday in the Gay Calendar (and not just the one Lucius gave out last year). So when he goes to his friend's house party, he's expecting a good fun time. He's not expecting a lunatic in the shortest shorts he's ever seen and the most hilarious costume. He's not expecting to fall in love.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
09 Nov 2024
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Summary
Edward Teach is the master woodworker on The Repair Shop, a show where people bring personal treasures that need some care and attention to get back to their former glory. He's been doing it for years, and he's bored. That is, until he is given a new project, a broken model ship owned by a man Ed's heart seems to recognise. While repairing the ship, he reforges a bond he didn't know existed.
—--------------------------------------------------
"Hello!" Ed started, hoping muscle memory would kick in. "Welcome to the Repair Shop. What have you brought in for us to look at?"
Stede smiled, but Ed could see he was just as nervous as Ed felt. Stede stepped forward and lifted the sheet off the item Ed had been imagining for the last twenty-four hours. Ed gasped at the reveal. 'Model ship' didn't quite cover it.
—--------------------------------------------------- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,805
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 143
- Kudos:
- 206
- Bookmarks:
- 42
- Hits:
- 1,559
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
02 Nov 2024
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The Shitty Dead Dads Club by WellSussed (drcfxtina), Zigster
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
30 Jul 2024
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Summary
“Where you putting yours?” Ed’s eyes are roaming over Stede as if he’s trying to guess where he might want his tattoo.
Stede rolls up the billowy sleeve of his shirt to show off his right forearm. Oddly, Ed stares for a moment before nodding. “I want it to be where I can see it all the time. A reminder.”
Ed nods again. “I get that. That’s what mine is for too. My dad just died….”
“Mine, too,” Stede replies, sitting up eagerly. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he rushes to add since most people are sad about this sort of thing.
“Nah, my dad was a dick,” Ed says. “Sorry for your loss, though.”
“Um, my dad was a dick, too, actually,” Stede tells him, stifling a giggle. “I want some flowers. He always hated that I loved flowers, thought I was too ‘soft.’ But I’m taking his money and opening a florist stop, so I get the last laugh.”
To Stede’s surprise, Ed looks excited. “A florist shop! Sounds amazing, mate! Good for you.”
~~~~~
Stede Bonnet's life changes the moment Ed Teach walks into the tattoo shop he's sitting in. They bond over their terrible dead fathers, become friends, get tattoos, go to the Ren Faire, and fall in love along the way.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,000
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 351
- Kudos:
- 259
- Bookmarks:
- 53
- Hits:
- 4,040
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
26 Oct 2024
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Summary
“Hey,” his angel said, then, very softly, and Ed realized that the fact he was standing near the edge of a high-rise building in the middle of the night probably communicated his intentions perfectly clearly.
“Hi,” Ed said, because he wasn’t really sure what else to say. What can you even say to someone when it feels like they've just shown up to save your life?Ed has made the decision that his life isn't going to be getting better. When a stranger in his apartment accidentally stumbles in and helps to stop him from doing something irreversible, though, Ed realizes he doesn't want to die at all. Somehow, the sun has started to shine again.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
06 Oct 2024
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Summary
Frustrated with his life as a world-famous professional chef, Ed decides one night to make a silly, comforting, indulgent recipe blog, just to have a space to be himself for two fucking minutes. Enter the Gentleman Reviewer, an amateur chef with a passion for cooking that reminds Ed of how much fun he used to have. As they start to grow closer through Ed's blog and the recipes he shares, Ed begins to think that maybe he can change his life for the better.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
06 Oct 2024
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Summary
Rock star Ed Teach, tired of his doom and gloom black-leather-and-spikes aesthetic, goes to a thrift store to think about changing his image. There he meets a sad beige man with a similar issue. Can they help each other?
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
06 Oct 2024
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Summary
When Stede Bonnet moves to a small, coastal town in Maine to open up a plant shop, his expectations for how it will go are pretty tame. Lucky for him, Ed Teach is an expert in subverting expectations.
Series
- Part 1 of everything's growing in our garden
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 168,816
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 698
- Kudos:
- 485
- Bookmarks:
- 123
- Hits:
- 18,017
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
01 Oct 2024
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Summary
“So, you’ve seen the Stede Bonnet shit,” Jack says, plunking down his tankard and straddling the stool.
“See, you all keep saying ‘shit’. That’s so vague. Be specific for fuck’s sake,” Edward says, locks his phone and tosses it on the table in front of him.
“This pompous little amateur had the nerve to ask for a review on his new podcast,” Izzy spits the word like that’s not what they’re doing.
Bookmarked by Zazzlesthe7th
01 Oct 2024