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Eric Cartman has come a long way since childhood and years of therapy appointments have done him well, but, with puberty comes self-loathing and, if he's determined to die young, then, goddamn, no one can stop him. But, it seems he's got a guardian angel and, biblical references aside, he's found a messiah in Kyle Broflovski who only hopes he can be the savior Eric needs so desperately. But will it be enough?
Bookmarked by candyblink
01 Jul 2026
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The music comes to a climax, cymbals crashing and unclean vocals screaming, and Kyle’s drunk on whiskey and music and the warmth of real human hands touching his shoulders. Suddenly, he’s got two conflicting thoughts in his head that just won't reconcile.
One: he knows for certain that all his friends are going to drift apart after graduation to chase their own lives.
Two: Cartman didn’t push him away, earlier-- in fact, Cartman has his hands on him right now.
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the boys go to a concert, and Kyle gets a little drunk
Bookmarked by candyblink
30 Jun 2026
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Between the new girl in town, the issue of finding Stan a sufficiently heterosexual gift, and a newfound interest in politics, it's safe to say Eric Cartman has a lot on his plate. Now, if only Kyle wasn't always walking around with a sour expression, like he was being fed a constant stream of lemon juice...
Bookmarked by candyblink
30 Jun 2026
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Kyle Broflovski never expected his future to solidify around Eric Cartman, but after seventeen years of fighting, teasing, and saving each other's lives, maybe the only way forward is together. Or: two dumb high schoolers, one shared game of RAFT, and the terrifying realization that leaving home might mean leaving each other.
Bookmarked by candyblink
29 Jun 2026
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Okay, basically, Cartman got into a huge fight with Kyle. Both are giving each other the silent treatment out of spite. Cartman comes up with a really shitty idea: he pays Craig to bully him, just to see how Kyle reacts. The first few times are just verbal insults, and Kyle doesn’t really do anything, even suspecting it might be Cartman’s scheme. But when it finally escalates to physical violence, Kyle decides that whether it's real or not, he can't let Craig and his gang treat Cartman that way.