couteau_princess
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Summary
In response to the following prompt over at the DAO kink-meme:
PC gathers the army by sleeping her way through Ferelden till she claims all treaty rights. Origin doesn't matter, but PC's got to be a slut who loves it. All diplomatic encounters can be solved if you're a dirty enough whore! It's up to you whether she gets Templars or Mages, or elves or wolves, or whatever. Bonus k!meme points for any gangbangs.
Series
- Part 1 of Reverse-Cowgirl Diplomacy
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 213,133
- Chapters:
- 44/44
- Comments:
- 51
- Kudos:
- 824
- Bookmarks:
- 113
- Hits:
- 108,067
Bookmarked by couteau_princess
12 Jan 2026
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Summary
“There are two people I can think of who might know anything,” Lavellan said. “Experts - on the Fade, on the history of elvhenan. Unfortunately,” a grimace, “one of them has vanished, and if all the resources of the Inquisition can’t find him, I doubt you can.”
“And the other?” Fenris demanded.
“Something from my own history, for once. Not an Inquisition thing. There is - a criminal,” said Lavellan. “Exiled from the clans. She was the blood mage who murdered Clan Sabrae and its Keeper. Last I heard she was living in Kirkwall. A very dangerous woman - possibly insane, actually - but I met her once at Arlathven, and if anyone could help you -”
“Merrill?”
_Hawke was left in the Fade. Fenris goes looking for him. He doesn't go alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,755
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Comments:
- 1,274
- Kudos:
- 5,125
- Bookmarks:
- 1,920
- Hits:
- 95,643
Bookmarked by couteau_princess
28 Jun 2025
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Summary
Invader Zim AU: Dib Membrane came to Foodcourtia in search of adventure and delicious snacks. He found adventure in the form of a tiny frycook named Zim (and he found snacks in the form of Vort Dogs). Together, they break Zim out of Foodcourtia and strike a deal to get themselves back from the outskirts of Irken-known space. The only problem: Zim's hiding something, and Dib's too lovestruck to care.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 145,109
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,433
- Kudos:
- 3,488
- Bookmarks:
- 517
- Hits:
- 74,658
Bookmarked by couteau_princess
11 Apr 2021
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Summary
What if Johnny had not killed Edgar? How much of a difference can one person make?
Series
- Part 1 of Vargas Stories
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 405,704
- Chapters:
- 35/?
- Comments:
- 532
- Kudos:
- 774
- Bookmarks:
- 154
- Hits:
- 36,821
Bookmarked by couteau_princess
22 Mar 2021
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Summary
Dating wasn't easy. Eddie knew that only too well. And technology? Even worse.
So what could possibly go wrong when combining the two?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 54,096
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 617
- Kudos:
- 1,286
- Bookmarks:
- 214
- Hits:
- 18,278
Bookmarked by couteau_princess
12 Jun 2019