ebilchickens
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My hands are not clean (they can still carry you home) by Arcturus_Ish
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
30 Nov 2025
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Summary
The thing about plastic chairs is that they weren't a great substitute for an actual bed; the other thing is, Robert can't exactly afford to be picky and even if he 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 the internal debate is still ongoing as to whether or not he deserves a mattress at this current point in his life.
So, the plastic chair stays and is staying for the foreseeable future. Besides, it's charming - in a depressing, minimalism-that-is-totally-not-a-reflection-of-his-inner-sense-of-worth way.
Or:The fic where Robert has chronic pain and Flambae has warm hands. The two of them will figure out what to do about that eventually, right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,526
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 809
- Kudos:
- 11,742
- Bookmarks:
- 2,098
- Hits:
- 135,945
Bookmarked by ebilchickens
20 Jun 2026
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It was not a choice he agonized over or even thought twice about.
“It's you or them, Mecha Man. They're villains. Do you really think they deserve to live more than you do?”
Yes. A million times yes.
Robert's caught by a supervillian that gives him a easy choice: he can live, or his reformed heroes can live. To him, it's an easy one.
Bookmarked by ebilchickens
15 Jun 2026
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“Robert, don’t look, but there’s a group of weirdos over by the window who bet me that I couldn’t get the number of, and I quote, ‘that gloomy twink at the bar’.”
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Z-Team unknowingly sends Robert’s ex to flirt with him, not knowing they already know each other, and Robert is all too happy to play along if it means his ex will split his winnings with him. But damn, when did the bar get so hot? Couldn’t have anything to do with Flambae looking like he’s five seconds from lunging over the table and killing someone, right?
Bookmarked by ebilchickens
15 Jun 2026
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Summary
@r.robertsonIII tweets with a photo and a caption
A selfie of him standing outside, holding Beef in his other arm. He smiles at the camera, hair slightly tousled and the first button of his SDN work shirt undone.
I was informed of my new fame and decided to finally make an account. Glad to see that my work behind a desk doesn’t go unrecognised. This is Beef :)
@velocipastor retweets with caption
holy fuck they really do have the wrong guy behind the desk
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,297
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 81
- Kudos:
- 2,169
- Bookmarks:
- 407
- Hits:
- 9,375
Bookmarked by ebilchickens
15 Jun 2026
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Summary
“She didn’t tell me she was sending the hot nurse.” His voice is low, raspy in a way Robert is sure is supposed to be seductive but sounds a little more like he swallowed sandpaper. He grins up crookedly, eyes shamelessly dragging over the column of Robert’s throat. “Not that I’m complaining.”
Robert blinks. Once. Twice.
He… he wasn’t expecting that.
Or,
Flambae is concussed and thinks Robert’s his boyfriend. Shenanigans ensue.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,687
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 169
- Kudos:
- 2,144
- Bookmarks:
- 467
- Hits:
- 16,412
Bookmarked by ebilchickens
15 Jun 2026