elemaeoh



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “You speak Russian?” Ilya’s voice is simultaneously incredulous and thrilled, like he can’t quite believe it, but he’s excited all the same.

    Hayden shakes his head, shrugging, still rocking Amber. “Uh, not really? I only know a few words and phrases here and there from my Deda and Baba. I understand it more than I can speak it.”

    Ilya’s eyes somehow get wider. “Deda and Baba- You have Russian grandparents? You are Russian?!”

    “I guess? Technically?”

    -

    Hayden Pike never really talks about his mom's family. Ilya finds out why and decides he simply *must* fix this.

    He is going to teach Hayden Pike how to be Russian, whether Hayden likes it or not.

    AKA the Russian Hayden fic for my sister

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,191
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    24 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Bood
    what have you given her before?

    Ilya
    A fucking, mostly

    Bood
    CHEAP
    CHEAP GIFT GIVER

    Ilya enlists Bood & the Ottawa WAGs to help brainstorm ideas for his first proper Valentine’s Day with ‘Jane’.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,287
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,983
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    19 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    ILYA:
    No one is allowed to question the bride on her wedding day!! You just do what I say!!

    TROY:
    How is that different from literally every other day?

    Or: it's Hollanov wedding day!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,628
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    374
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    10,195
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    16 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    555-123-181
    If someone got bleach in their eye what should they do
    555-926-024
    Go the the ER and get an eye wash
    555-123-181
    Okay but is that really necessary or can I just wash it myself
    555-926-024
    According the the Internet you might need eye drops for a couple days after so ER it is
    555-123-181
    Urgh fiiine
    ***
    Ilya was looking for advice when he text the wrong number
    Shane couldnt leave a random stranger on read during an emergency

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,502
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    908
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    1,483
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    15 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    988
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    09 Jun 2026