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    Summary

    “Good morning Grace. Sleep well, question?”

    “No,” he says, which is how he usually answers that question these days. “New symptom, maybe. I might be forgetting stuff.”

    Rocky trills in concern. “Yes, you said that yesterday.”

    (Malnutrition has a lot of symptoms. One of them is memory loss. Grace is not doing great.)

    Language:
    English
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    6,122
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    413
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    1,825
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “You need something with which to occupy yourself, and taking care of animals can be psychologically stabilizing,” Ratio says. “These particular animals are self-sufficient enough to not be too much work for a first-time pet owner, but still possess conventionally appealing characteristics. Given your situation, they are the best option.”

    “I don’t--” Aventurine exhales and pinches between his eyebrows. “Ratio, I don’t want pets.”

    (While waiting to find out if he's been fired, Aventurine's been having some really, really unpleasant nightmares. Ratio brings him some creations to try to improve his mental health. They're surprisingly helpful--but they've got their work cut out for them.)

    Language:
    English
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    21,271
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    386
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    5,183
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Aventurine: What’s u

    Aventurine: I’m sorr

    Aventurine: I know you don’t want to talk to me again but we should get that formalized so Diamond doesn’t assign us together anymore and we don’t have to do that in person if you don’t wan

    Aventurine: How’s it goi

    Aventurine: We need to talk.

    (After a mission goes sideways, Aventurine and Ratio are left to deal with the fallout of a situation each of them is certain the other didn't consent to. They're wrong, of course, but it's hard to figure that out when they're not talking.)

    Language:
    English
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    5,662
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    429
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    2,949
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Takumi could never have made this decision without Karua. Without her advice, her comfort, he would’ve been trapped in his head forever, unable to choose. It’s hard to imagine he managed the first hundred days without her, even--and maybe that’s why they went so badly; maybe he needs her on a fundamental level. Without Karua’s support, without the certainty that comes from protecting her, he’s adrift. He’s nothing.

    So Karua--

    So Karua can’t be--

    (Takumi can't accept that Karua isn't real. So he decides she is. Nozomi and Eito suffer the fallout.)

    Language:
    English
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    11,433
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    167
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    1,547
  5. Tags
    Summary

    He doesn’t blame Takumi for that. Well, maybe a little. He likes being alive. But he’s not mad at Takumi. He used to be such a problem child; it must have made sense to execute him.

    His Takumi didn’t do that, though.

    His Takumi…

    Isn’t here.

    (In the aftermath of ending 100, Eito wanders off to find this timeline's wayward Takumi. Differences, and similarities, make themselves apparent.)

    Language:
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    Words:
    2,374
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    155
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    908
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Eito smiles, in the exact same way he always did before.

    “I’ve never hated you more than this moment,” he says.

    Takumi doesn’t let himself think about it any further. He rests the tip of the knife against the side of Eito’s neck, and pushes it in.

    (After too many loops, Takumi's cryptoglobin becomes unstable. The best method for treating it is a blood transfusion, and the best option for that, willing or no, is Eito. But sharing cryptoglobin so directly also shares memories, and sharing too much blurs the memories together. As far as Takumi and Eito are concerned, they've known each other since childhood. And the relationship they've suddenly always had isn't a healthy one.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,196
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    634
    Bookmarks:
    111
    Hits:
    10,546
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Could you tell me exactly what is troubling you?”

    Aventurine makes a vague gesture. “Bad dreams. You’re probably familiar with it.”

    “The touch of the Nihility affects everyone differently. Until I know your exact symptoms, I won’t be able to treat you.”

    Aventurine closes his eyes, for a moment, and opens them. “Old memories,” he says, finally. “A lot sharper than they should be. Like I’m really there, watching it happen.”

    (After Penacony, Aventurine's been having some bad dreams. He starts seeing a Doctor of Chaos about it. Ratio gets roped in to help. Aventurine's not happy about any of it; and anyway, it's all pointless, isn't it?)

    Language:
    English
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    23,211
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    509
    Bookmarks:
    104
    Hits:
    4,329
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The man steps closer to check him. See which parts are worth salvaging, maybe. “Your optics are damaged.” A pause; maybe he’s looking elsewhere. “Are your legs malfunctioning? They appear to have sustained significant damage as well.”

    “Servos broke down a few days ago. Probably still good for scrap, though.”

    “Why would--ah. You think I intend to take you apart.”

    (An android, a man; a beginning, an end.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,308
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    522
    Bookmarks:
    117
    Hits:
    5,763
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “I’ve heard,” Asovan says, pleasantly, “that Aventurine of Stratagems is often assigned to clients who prefer concessions of a personal nature.”

    Veritas’s jaw hardens. So it’s to be one of those.

    (During negotiation, a client forces Ratio to watch him and Aventurine have sex. Jealousy's a bitch, and not helped by how Aventurine doesn't seem to care about that part of his job at all. He cares so little, in fact, that it wouldn't have to mean anything at all if he slept with Ratio, right?)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,774
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    733
    Bookmarks:
    105
    Hits:
    8,385
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Aventurine, once Kakavasha, lived twenty-eight years, or close to it. Aventurine, never Kakavasha, has existed for slightly over one year. He’s spent most of it at peace. Most of it.

    But that first week of existence crawls in his veins, and now the knowledge of what led to it adds to the pile. And the twenty-eight years before that weren’t much better, were they?

    So what reason does he have, to cling to mortal life. What would he miss? Its vulnerabilities are too great. Far better to take a different path. Shed the unnecessary.

    (A year after the events of "consonance", Aventurine has regained almost all of his original memories--except for gaps scattered across the last five years. After joining his benefactors as a Memokeeper, Aventurine decides to go looking for the subject of these missing memories: some guy named Veritas Ratio, who he's pretty sure is just some coworker his old self didn't really get along with. It turns out he's wrong about that.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,542
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    378
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    4,973
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The scars on Jiaoqiu’s back are just as wide and deep. It looks like flesh has been carved out of him. Debriding the wounds was necessary, of course, to rid them of the necrosis, but it leaves behind a sobering sight.

    Moze finds himself lingering a little longer. It’s not an unpleasant task. He wasn’t able to save Jiaoqiu from the borisin, but he can do this, at least. And Jiaoqiu’s shoulders have lost some tension since he started. The sight may be sobering, but Moze feels peaceful, too. There’s no danger here. Just a simple task that he’s good at.

    He wonders what it would feel like if it was just his hands on Jiaoqiu instead of the towel.

    (Back on the Yaoqing, Jiaoqiu gets put on leave and Moze is assigned to watch him. He end up helping Jiaoqiu with some things. He ends up realizing some things, too.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,164
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    545
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    4,260
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Ratio presses one of the buttons, and the screen lights up. The numbers on it flash for a moment before settling at 0.200.

    “In this area alone, the concentration of ambient memoria is 200 millisomni per square inch. Not enough to induce hallucinations, but we may have some interesting dreams while we’re here. And the citizens of Vara-II have been having such dreams likely their entire lives. The effects of nuclear radiation on memoria have not been studied, so I can’t say for sure what effects this has had on their societal development. But I doubt it’s helped them keep a level head.”

    (During a negotiation on a planet with a history of IPC-enabled nuclear warfare, Aventurine and Ratio get stuck alone in an old fallout shelter-turned-museum after a bomb drops, with Aventurine severely injured. They've got the supplies to last until an IPC rescue ship can arrive, but the planet's already-unstable memoria has been stirred up, and they're periodically forced to relive the memories of the shelter's original inhabitants. And things didn't go well for the shelter's original inhabitants.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,571
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    684
    Bookmarks:
    175
    Hits:
    9,979
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Aventurine’s eyes widen at the sight of him, then narrow. “Of course it’s you,” he snaps. “Is this supposed to be some kind of punishment for that gash in the sky? Trap me in a bubble and watch me go insane?”

    Sunday folds his arms behind his back. “It is supposed to be a paradise,” he says. “Your consciousness should be folded into it. And yet you seem to have retained your original memories. I take it you aren’t responsible for that?”

    “Paradise, huh,” Aventurine says, his lip curled in a grimace. “I’ve been in here for three days, and every moment of them made me feel like I was either being toyed with or just losing my fucking mind.”

    (Aventurine's awake in paradise. Sunday gets a little obsessed. It doesn't go well for Aventurine. It doesn't go well for Sunday, either.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,820
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    443
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    7,418
  14. Tags
    Summary

    He’d like to meet a Pepeshi someday, though, to see an even starker example of how different the rest of the universe can be from Sigonia. What must their home planet be like, with an infrastructure catered to the height of a child? Or planets like Thalassa, covered in endless water--the technological wonders of Planet Screwllum--the memoria-drenched dreamland of…

    Of…

    Ah, but he’s too curious for his own good. Sigonia has everything he needs, and plenty of its own fascinations, besides.

    (Aventurine was still on Penacony when the Order's paradise unfolded, but he keeps having moments of lucidity. Paradise isn't as nice when you know it isn't real.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,373
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    347
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    3,807
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Sunday shrugs. “I have little to my name,” he says. “Ask of me what you will.”

    Aventurine taps his fingers against the glass. “Okay,” he says. “How about this. Play a game with me.”

    (For reasons of her own, Jade got Sunday released into her employ. He runs into Aventurine at an IPC gala, and as a way to at least partially make up for past actions, Sunday agrees to a game of blackjack with questions as the ante, assuming he'll lose every round. It turns out Aventurine's company isn't unpleasant.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,987
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    312
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    2,915
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Ratio tilts his head. “What did you have in mind?” he asks.

    “Probably easier if I show you,” Aventurine says.

    He wraps his fingers around the back of Ratio’s hand. Pulls it up from where it was on the mattress; Ratio doesn’t resist, perhaps curious where Aventurine is going with this. He moves it past his chest, past his collarbone, landing it softly on his neck. Palm lightly pressed against his throat, fingers in position to wrap around it.

    (They've been occasionally sleeping together for a while now. Aventurine's having a day, and wants to try something to clear his head. Ratio has opinions.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,879
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    399
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    2,946
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Every morning, he asks Aventurine how he’s feeling. In the early days, Aventurine would sigh and say something like, “Tired,” and eat breakfast and take a shower without being told to. Veritas could usually manage to get a little conversation out of him during breakfast; explain to him what avenues he’d be looking into today, ask him if there was anything he needed, if he had any preferences for today’s meals. Taste may be irrelevant, but texture was still a factor, wasn’t it? And Aventurine would usually answer, even if only briefly.

    Today, Aventurine isn’t responding at all.

    (A sidequel to "life is for the living". Ratio's having a really bad month.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,875
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    919
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    6,048
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Ratio nods. “Good,” he says. “No heavy machinery or other potentially dangerous tasks. I wouldn’t recommend travel, either. Set alarms to remind yourself to eat, if necessary.”

    “Just stay at home and do nothing,” Aventurine says dully. “Sounds like a great way to fix Wanting To Do Nothing disease.”

    (Those who step into the shadows of IX become Self-Annihilators, drained of the will to live and desiring only their own death. After Penacony, Aventurine's not feeling so hot.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,759
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    1,352
    Bookmarks:
    273
    Hits:
    9,986
  19. Tags
    Summary

    He can’t think of it as an it, or as a construct. Even if he knows it is, even if he knows exactly what he’s doing, and that the real one would never approve of this, perhaps be horrified by the idea. Only a few hours of existence. How much worse a person would Aventurine be, if he didn’t want him to enjoy them too?

    (Aventurine commissions a Dreamscape replica of Ratio for a one-night stand. It immediately gains self-awareness. Nobody is happy.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    542
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    5,265
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The human remains found in an alley in rue Valette have been identified as André Galliard, 47. Due to the condition and location of the body, police suspect the serial murderer coined La Boucher, who is presumed responsible for eight other murders in the Latin Quarter over the last seven years. As with the other suspected victims, only the head, organs, and skin were present at the scene. Currently the exact time of death is unknown. Police urge citizens to come forward with any information they may have on the identity of the murderer.

    (Vince is an artist. Rody will be his masterpiece.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,671
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    167
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2,255

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