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Draco Malfoy and the Case of the Curious Feline by venus_in_aries for Avocadotoasterstrudel
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
10 Mar 2026
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Summary
With rumours of an impending marriage law making the rounds in Wizarding Britain, Hermione Granger takes it upon herself to announce a competition to win her heart, in hopes of securing a match on her own before the Ministry mandates one for her. News breaks in The Daily Prophet that the wizard who can catch her cat, whose collar holds a key to her flat, will be the one who also wins her heart.
Meanwhile, Draco Malfoy has become a virtual shut-in, living alone in Malfoy Manor. He, like everyone else, learns of the competition, but has no intention of winning it himself.
It seems to be by pure coincidence that he ends up befriending Granger's cat out of crippling loneliness. When he moves into her building at the behest of their mutual best friend, Theo Nott, who is also a resident, he finds himself having a front row seat to the competition.
Of course, he and everyone else have no idea that her cat is no ordinary cat. The cat, or "Duchess" as Draco finds himself calling her, is actually Hermione herself in her animagus form.
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She wore that Granger expression, the one that said she was going to bully someone into something. Draco had a bad feeling it was about to be him. “I’ll marry you,” Hermione said.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’m not doing it for free. I marry you, then after a year we divorce and you agree to fund S.P.E.A.M.B. In perpetuity.”
“Out of the question.”
“It’s just one year. We would both get what we want.”
“Contracted marriages require consummation,” he said, adding a leer for good measure.
Granger had gotten more attractive since their Hogwarts days, he would give her that much. Her jumper was atrocious, though. He had half a mind to burn it.
To his everlasting shock, she merely shrugged. “It’s just sex. I’ve had it before and I presume you have too.”
She was utterly serious. Draco stared at her and contemplated being married to her. She was irritating and he might make her promise to never wear that jumper again, but it was better than the alternative.
Draco would do just about anything to avoid being poor.
“You’re serious?”
“Completely.”
“Then congratulations, Granger. You've got yourself a husband.”
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Summary
Hermione Granger is used to disappointment.
When it comes to her love life, she’s given up hope of ever finding a meaningful connection. Seven years after the war, she finds herself trapped in a relationship she didn’t want with a wizard she can’t stand, suffocating under the weight of fame she never asked for.
Draco Malfoy wasn’t supposed to be released from Azkaban for at least another year. After he shows up to the restaurant where Hermione just so happens to be on a date looking more handsome than she remembers, she can’t seem to get the tall blond out of her head.
And he keeps popping up at the strangest of times.
When a scandal she can’t avoid leads her to uproot her entire life and move to Paris, Hermione is ready for a fresh start. But what happens when the one-night stand she tried to leave behind in London comes calling?
Chaos. Blackmail. Some light to moderate stalking.
He says they’re meant for each other. She thinks he needs to get his head examined.
What could go wrong?
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No matter what Draco does over the years, it seems like Hermione can't see past the boy he used to be. If being cruel is the only way to get her attention, then he can live with that, even if it means he'll never get to really have her the way he wants to.
Hermione is in a tough spot. She needs money to pay off her father's debt. And it just so happens that Malfoy has money and is interested in giving it to her - if she'll do things for him, that is. How lucky for him that she's in no position to turn down his help.
Even if she'll never love him, at least he can have this, right?
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Summary
Hermione pulled her eyes away from him and went back to work almost instantly.
But the damage was done.
Because with her one curious look, she had piqued Draco’s interest.
And that was a dangerous thing to do.
[Complete]