hazelnut_exe



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Every Boston Raider knows that although their captain has a girl in every port, he’s got a soft spot for the one in Montreal. Dr. Shane Hollander knows it’s better to have a semi-regular source of casual sex than try to make a relationship work during residency. Ilya Rozanov knows that the doctor he’s fucking in Montreal is unaware that he plays hockey, and in fact probably thinks he’s Bratva.

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    29 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The hot mic incident was just the beginning.

    Now the internet watches in real-time as Ilya’s Spotify playlist gets leaked (with NOTES), Shane attempts subtlety (narrator: he fails), they bicker about boy bands on late night TV, someone admits to having a ring for six months ON TWITTER, and approximately 20 different social media platforms collectively lose their goddamn minds.

    Featuring: journalists having breakdowns, Reddit threads that require moderator intervention, TikTok compilations with 1.2M views, brand partnerships from Skittles, a plague of engagement speculation, and two hockey players who cannot stop being chaotic disasters on main.

    The fandom was writing fic about them. Turns out reality is messier, queerer, and somehow MORE unhinged.

    [or social media reacts to the week following the Hot Mic Incident™, told entirely through tweets, Reddit posts, Instagram stories, podcast transcripts, and the world’s most romantic Spotify playlist]

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    29 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is going to murder his agent.

    And he means that literally. Because his agent is the reason he’s currently wearing a hot mic during Hockey Night in Canada. Against the Ottawa Centaurs. Against Ilya.

    Ilya, who has no filter. Ilya, who thinks workplace professionalism is a hilarious suggestion for other people. Ilya, who has spent a decade perfecting the art of saying absolutely unhinged things to Shane on the ice, safe in the knowledge that nobody can hear him.

    Ilya, who definitely doesn’t know about the microphone.

    What follows is sixty minutes of Shane’s life flashing before his eyes while his secret boyfriend enthusiastically discusses their sex life, their broken furniture, and exactly what he wants to do to Shane after the game — all broadcast to millions of viewers.

    The problem? Shane can’t get a word in edgewise to warn him.

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    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane went down hard, bleeding on the ice, and Ilya was hiding in a stairwell to avoid Shane's teammates when he caught up on the WAG chat and saw the missed call from Jackie.

    Inspired by the last bit of "please leave a message" by Ravenesta

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    28 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    [Tweet from @EliotFreeman]
    Ilya Rozanov at his first #Cens practice, being asked why he chose to move from Boston to Ottawa: “To be closer to my gay lover, Shane Hollander.”

    [Tweet from @letsgetdrilled]
    oh great another player who thinks being gay is a joke #ilyarozanovisoverparty

    No one thinks Ilya's answer is serious. Twitter reacts accordingly.

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    28 Jun 2026