hedgehogging



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane felt Finn’s sudden rage, the way he resented Dane for how nothing ever touched him—and underneath that, the way Finn, inexplicably, wanted to be the thing that could. “Just because your life doesn’t matter doesn’t mean you get to fuck up mine.”
    Ilya’s eyes widened, just for a moment, sparking with something close to hurt before narrowing back into coldness. “I’ll be ready for your mandatory tour in the morning, Prince Finn.” He turned his back on the camera, still shirtless of course, but somehow it looked defenseless now, instead of cocky.
    “I—” Shane said, and reached toward the screen.
    Ilya shook his head, ever so slightly, and walked out of the room. Shane stared at the empty space where he’d been, bereft.
    “And cut,” Scott said. “Holy shit.”
    Ilya walked back into view, sat down in his chair, smirk firmly back in place. Shane’s hands were trembling.
    “Well,” Kip said. “I think it’s safe to say the chemistry is there.”

     

    Or, Shane and Ilya are cast in a production of Ember & Ice and eventually they fuck about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,166
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    933
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    4,217
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    1,748
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    15 Jul 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is going to murder his agent.

    And he means that literally. Because his agent is the reason he’s currently wearing a hot mic during Hockey Night in Canada. Against the Ottawa Centaurs. Against Ilya.

    Ilya, who has no filter. Ilya, who thinks workplace professionalism is a hilarious suggestion for other people. Ilya, who has spent a decade perfecting the art of saying absolutely unhinged things to Shane on the ice, safe in the knowledge that nobody can hear him.

    Ilya, who definitely doesn’t know about the microphone.

    What follows is sixty minutes of Shane’s life flashing before his eyes while his secret boyfriend enthusiastically discusses their sex life, their broken furniture, and exactly what he wants to do to Shane after the game — all broadcast to millions of viewers.

    The problem? Shane can’t get a word in edgewise to warn him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    671
    Kudos:
    29,112
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    5,767
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    319,631

    14 Jul 2026

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    Ilya is bored out of his mind and decides to start ragebaiting Wikipedia editors

    or: 5 times Ilya got banned from Wikipedia for vandalism, and 1 time they didn't have a leg to stand on, as told through Wikipedia edit history and talk pages

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,205
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    532
    Kudos:
    5,558
    Bookmarks:
    672
    Hits:
    27,548

    14 Jul 2026

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    Hey Google, is it normal to text your 8-year situationship on Valentine's Day?

    As told through a series of texts, memes, and very bad attempts at flirting while trying to be casual.

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    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,330
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    149
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    4,865
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    624
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    39,383

    14 Jul 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Alternate Title: Shane Hollander: Stanley Cup Winner, Accidental Dog Sitter

    Shane: Is this Ilya Rozanov?
    Unknown number: no
    Shane: Oh, but the dog collar had this number.
    Unknown Number: What? What dog collar? What are you talking about?
    Shane: I'm Shane Hollander.
    Shane: I have your dog.
    Unknown Number: Is this ransom threat?
    Unknown Number: Did you kidnap my dog?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,626
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    770
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    22,690
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    3,517
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    110,492

    13 Jul 2026

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