iwritefunkythings
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Recent works
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best of the world in the palm of my hands by iwritefunkythings
Fandoms: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games)
05 Mar 2026
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Before the war, there was an infant.
And there was a family.
And the princess was loved. However short that time may have been. -
The Shadow and the Light (Two Sides of a Coin) by iwritefunkythings
Fandoms: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games)
10 Oct 2025
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Melinoe never learnt the whole "contract" thing, having grown up in the Crossroads. What contracts is an overthrown princess going to sign?
Maybe Hecate should have spared a lesson for it.
That's okay. Zagreus can teach her. They have plenty of time to make up for, after all. -
Sing, O Muse by iwritefunkythings
Fandoms: The Iliad - Homer, Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
01 Jul 2025
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Ag decided to ignore him. “The Trojans have been our rivals from the dawn of time!”
Nestor piped up from the back. “For maybe like two years, when Priam made us do community service.”
“For two years!” Ag amended. “And we welcome them into our home, our sacred land, as an offering of peace, for what? To be spat on and disrespected? No more! That little shit- um…”
“Paris,” Nestor said helpfully.
“Paris! That little shit will rue the day he crossed us!”Did you read the Iliad and think "wow, I wish someone wrote this but super shittily and also made it a frat au"? Then great! Join the Achaeans as they do the dumbest shit possible under the guise of winning back their VP's ex, Helen, and try to graduate at the same time.
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I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star by iwritefunkythings
Fandoms: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games)
08 Apr 2025
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He didn’t expect anything of it. It was probably a customer, coming to beg him for just five minutes to search for whatever item they were hunting, or maybe the feral cat that he left food out for wanting a kiss. So when he peered out the door, he didn’t know what to do.
On the step, perched politely on his welcome mat, were two boys.Charon knows three things. None of those three things are how to look after children.
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It’s been a tough year, and in a moment of sheer desperation, you apply for a position at Freddy Fazbear’s Mega Pizzaplex. You didn’t expect to land a job, but hey, you weren’t complaining, even though the amount of paperwork they had you sign was slightly suspicious. At least the pay was good.
But the Pizzaplex isn’t your regular customer service job. Whispers have been floating around of the old locations, and what happened inside of them. Not to mention all the other weird stuff that’s been going on in the current one. And the animatronics have been malfunctioning, so often it’s hard to believe it’s an accident.
It’s just a regular day working for Fazbear Entertainment. Right?
Recent bookmarks
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whatever you do dont make the hatman energy drink by Soar319
Fandoms: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games)
20 May 2026
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Summary
Lumbering back to the table, he set Zagreus’s laptop and the mug filled with euclidean brew in front of Hermes. They all leaned forward to look at it with varying levels of morbid curiosity. Somehow, it was oscillating between neon red and gasoline in a puddle colors.
“So do I just sip it or…?” Charon shrugged. “Welp, nothing to it!”
Hermes knocked the mug back in one go.
In hindsight, seeing four people lunge for him might have meant he shouldn’t have done that, but he doesn’t remember anything after the tainted riverwater hit his tongue.
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based off that one tumblr story about that person's roommate that made a caffeine death coffee and gave it to them when their laptop short circuited like a day before due date and they only had so many hours to rewrite their paperBookmarked by iwritefunkythings
21 May 2026
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slapped by a bass by beeftaxi, sambharsobs
Fandoms: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games)
17 Jul 2025
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Five times Melinoë gets kicked out of the club and one time she super duper ultra mega gets kicked out of the club.
Or,
Melinoë keeps on starting shit with the hit new band Scylla and the Sirens. Somehow, this is Nemesis’s problem.
Bookmarked by iwritefunkythings
17 May 2026
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While undergoing House renovations, Zagreus finds a hidden collection of paintings.
This leads him to a series of question.
One, 'Who commissioned these paintings?'.
Two, 'When did Hypnos get married?'.
Three, 'Why did Thanatos tell him he had children!?'.
Bookmarked by iwritefunkythings
14 May 2026
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Hear ye hear ye for the weekly godshow by Professional_cattle_lifter
Fandoms: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games)
09 Jun 2026
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Summary
Nobody was certain how it started. Or rather, nobody knew which one of them first came up with the idea. Asking them was as useful as talking to a brick wall, both gods feigning a level of ignorance that could rival that of a newborn baby. Probing for clues had about the same successful rate. That to say, the results were as dire as Apollo’s dating streak.
But everyone aware of the new development was in agreement on one specific fact, and they unanimously pinpointed it as the cataclysm that instigated the chain of events that, ultimately, led to their current predicament.
It all started with Hephaestus’ creation.
Or, Hermes and Hypnos start a podcast, and they make it everyone's problem
Bookmarked by iwritefunkythings
14 May 2026
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The day my closest friend disappeared, I had three things on my mind: a job, a cup of coffee, and a missed phone call.
Meg Fury is a private investigator with a checkered past. There are few people she trusts enough to consider friends, but Thanatos Erebides is an exception: the son of her former mentor, he's one of the few remaining detectives with integrity in an increasingly corrupt police force.
When Thanatos refuses to drop a missing persons case, he becomes a pariah among his coworkers and a target for those who want the truth to stay buried.
Series
- Part 1 of Meg Fury Case Files
Bookmarked by iwritefunkythings
06 May 2026