killingmyselfsoftly
Recent works
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would you text me when you feel like by killingmyselfsoftly
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
07 Mar 2025
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Summary
Alexander Claremont-Diaz could have anyone in this room with minimal effort—a flash of his practiced smile, a touch that lingered just long enough, a whispered suggestion in someone's ear.
Someone uncomplicated. Someone who wouldn't leave him staring at his phone at three in the morning, wondering if a text would come. Someone who wouldn't disappear for weeks only to resurface without warning, slipping back into New York like a ghost haunting Alex's favourite spots.
Series
- Part 2 of mean it
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on your lips just leave it by killingmyselfsoftly
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
28 Feb 2025
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Summary
Shit.
Henry never hooked up with people he knew, especially not someone who was supposed to be a friend. He had never done anything like this before—whatever 'this' was. A drunken shag between mates? A one-night stand? He wanted to shove his head between his knees at the thought.
He forcefully pushed those spiralling thoughts aside, deciding they could be a problem for future Henry.
Series
- Part 1 of mean it
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First Son by killingmyselfsoftly
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
24 Jul 2024
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Henry Windsor has built his career on taking calculated risks and operating in the shadows. But when he is assigned to protect the impulsive First Son by going undercover as a college student, he begins to question everything. As he befriends Alex, the charismatic but privileged young man, Henry must balance public scrutiny with keeping his true identity hidden. The closer they become, the more blurred the line between protector and friend becomes. Can Henry maintain his cover or will he fall victim to those dangerously alluring lashes?
or the First Daughter/Chasing Liberty inspired AU that absolutely nobody but a 10 year old me asked for.
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i'd write this in the sky by killingmyselfsoftly
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
03 Jul 2024
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Summary
Alex glanced towards his phone, thinking about the men jostling each other good naturedly and vied for the spotlight in their team picture. And how Henry Fox looked completely at home in the centre, grinning and laughing.
Yes, this year was definitely going to be interesting.
Recent series
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mean it by killingmyselfsoftly
Fandom Red White & Royal Blue (2023), Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
07 Mar 2025
Summary
somewhat related snapshots inspired by mean it by lauv 🩷
- Words:
- 8,082
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 4
Recent bookmarks
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Alex snorts and shakes his head. “Bullshit. Ok, I can’t know for sure since this is the first time we’re actually witnessing Tyrannosaurus behaviour, but I can just tell, you know?” he says with an emphatic gesture. “What they’re doing has all the hallmarks of mating behaviour. I’m certain that if we gave them an egg, they’d raise it together.”
“So, what you’re telling me is that my family has unwittingly created a lesbian dinosaur utopia.”
“I mean… yeah, you could certainly put it that way,” Alex allows.
Henry laughs, practically giddy. “I think that may be the best thing I’ve heard all year.”
(After spending too many years writing internal memos, Henry's looking forward to his new assignment: writing educational materials for an unprecedented theme park that promises to change the world. He's also not complaining about the fact that he'll have to work in close proximity to the park's scorching hot chief paleontologist, Dr. Alex Claremont-Diaz. After a rocky start, they find common ground and a successful partnership in helping protect the park's residents—until an unexpected tropical storm and a security shutdown leaves them fighting for their lives.)
Bookmarked by killingmyselfsoftly
06 Jul 2026
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Hot Cheese Guy by jafffacakes for ninzied
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
23 Sep 2025
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Alex looks up at the wall of cheese in front of him, wide-eyed and overwhelmed.
“Excuse me,” a polite voice next to him says, all posh and fancy. The owner of that voice could probably tell the difference between brie and camembert without needing to read the label. “You're in front of the Manchego.”
Alex glances to his left, to match a face to the accent. It's a very nice accent, and an even nicer face, framed by dark blonde hair that swoops perfectly over his left brow.
Hot Cheese Guy has obviously come straight from work, some kind of office job judging by his tie and button-up, but he’s shed a layer of uptight rigidity somewhere along his commute. The top button is undone, the tie knot loosened around his Adam's apple, and his cufflinks removed so he could roll his sleeves. He looks professional, but relaxed, and Alex is fucking into it.
He sneaks a look at the contents of Hot Cheese Guy’s basket. He's got chorizo wrapped in paper from the in-store deli, cage-free eggs, this rustic olive-riddled sourdough that looks delicious, and what appears to be artisan dog food, full of vegetables and bone broth.
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Alex asks a hot stranger for help while buying cheese.
Bookmarked by killingmyselfsoftly
05 Jul 2026
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Ellen walks around the desk to stand directly in front of him. “You’re not a carpenter, Fox. You’re a ranger. If we’re all going down anyway, wouldn’t you rather go down fighting? Not cowering behind a wall?”
Henry bristles, the words striking a nerve. “I gave you my answer,” he says, jutting his chin out defensively. “I’m sorry you wasted your trip here.”
He’s about halfway to the door by the time she speaks again.
“He needs you, Henry.”
Henry freezes.
“What are you talking about?” he says, slowly turning around to face her. There’s no question of who she is referring to — but that person made it clear long ago that he doesn’t need anything from Henry.
******
Henry and Alex were best friends in the jaeger pilot training program, until misunderstandings and miscommunications drove them apart. In the final days of the war against the kaiju, can they put their differences aside and find a way to work together again to save the world?
Pacific Rim AU (that you do not need to have seen the movie to follow), completed and posted in full!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 48,381
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 459
- Kudos:
- 725
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- 204
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- 13,572
Bookmarked by killingmyselfsoftly
05 Jul 2026
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Step Out (Face The Sunshine) by MayQueen517
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
28 Jan 2025
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Summary
Single parent Alex has everything going for him - he's got a good job with the Okonjo House Shelter in New York. His son Frankie has just started school. And he has enough free time to take on some pro-bono cases with Luna & Westbrook.
Henry, single and not quite ready to mingle (thank you very much), crushes from afar until a baby is left with the Okonjo House Shelter. More precisely: with Henry. Who doesn't know much about babies, to be fair. Lucky for him, he knows a pretty competent single dad.
Navigating parenthood, self-discovery, and self-worth, can Alex and Henry find the same orbit?
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Alex’s mornings start the same way now.
Once, in law school, it would have been: wake up, consume enough caffeine to fund a small country, get in a last minute cram, and maybe kiss his then-girlfriend goodbye to get in extra time in the library.
Priorities are different now.
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Infants, Henry knows, have cries designed to make sure they are noticed because they need other humans to help the person who’s given birth. This is a thing that Henry knows, it’s something the shelter learned in getting qualified for him and Pez to qualify as a Safe Haven in New York.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,472
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 680
- Kudos:
- 850
- Bookmarks:
- 191
- Hits:
- 20,846
Bookmarked by killingmyselfsoftly
05 Jul 2026
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The Curious Case of H.J. Fox (and his string of increasingly attractive exes) by dazedandconfused
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
22 Sep 2025
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Summary
On an unseasonably cold August day, journalist Alexander Claremont-Diaz decides to delve into the life of a highly elusive poet. Known for his vague poems and even vaguer marketing strategies, it takes cunning, persistence, and a healthy dose of wit to get to the bottom of the ocean that is Henry James Fox.
Luckily, Alex has always been a good swimmer.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,270
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 918
- Kudos:
- 423
- Bookmarks:
- 83
- Hits:
- 12,124
Bookmarked by killingmyselfsoftly
05 Jul 2026