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Stop Me If You've Heard This Cliché Before by BleakCinema
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
10 Apr 2026
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The East of Eden Book Shop is Lucifer's little slice of heaven now that his daughter has moved away for college. It's his own place - full of every story anyone could ever want, good coffee, and a warm place to rest tired bones. He's a simple man. All he needs to get by is his favourite morning radio show and his shop.
Too bad life decided he also needed a surly, well-dressed deer with a smart mouth, a bad attitude, and a hare-brained scheme to shake up his life.
Bookmarked by loriken
21 Jul 2026
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After modern science fails Alastor's ailing mother, his underground contacts land him over 600 miles away from home in the Blue Ridge Mountains, staring down a hollow-eyed woman with a deal. If Alastor agrees to an indeterminate residency watching over an isolated stretch of the mountain, his mother will be taken care of. At the end of his options, Alastor agrees to ensure his mother's survival.
When a monster begins stalking the cabin he's been granted, Alastor realizes he didn't understand the ramifications of the pact he made...one he can no longer escape.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,192
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 165
- Kudos:
- 831
- Bookmarks:
- 290
- Hits:
- 10,426
Bookmarked by loriken
21 Jul 2026
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Lucifer is a god of the rivers, bayous, and waterways of Alastor's childhood. He's the fear mortals feel when they look at dark water and don't know what lives below. He's the last gasp of a drowning victim. He's the life and death of every creature to ever know birth or death in the silt of the riverways. Alastor's been his disciple since he was young, one bound to the land and one to the waters.
AKA: Mermay, but make it Southern Gothic and throw in a religious cult for good measure.
Associated Art:
Alastor, The Siren by Mimi
The Siren of the Bayou by Lucifer (NSFW)
O Sinner Man, where you gonna run to by Corvin (NSFW)Bookmarked by loriken
21 Jul 2026
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Summary
fruc·ti·fy - make (something) fruitful or productive.
/ˈfrəktəˌfī/Putting on a face of superior arrogance that had always served him well in the past, Alastor folded his arms over his chest and looked down his nose at Lucifer, “Well then! I suppose I’d like to see what the King of Hell has to offer, though I don’t promise to be impressed.”
When Lucifer laughed this time, it sounded somewhat less warm and merry than it had before, a note of dark promise caressing his chesty tenor, “Oh, Bambi. You’ll be lucky to remember your name by the time we’re through.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 112,322
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 239
- Kudos:
- 2,894
- Bookmarks:
- 1,048
- Hits:
- 52,861
Bookmarked by loriken
21 Jul 2026
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Heaven and Hell gather for a meeting to negotiate redemption and sign a treaty, and it's actually going off without a hitch, however mind-numbingly boring it is.
And then, of course, Michael has to go and bring Lucifer's relationship status into it and ruin everything.
But what else did he expect from Heaven?
Bookmarked by loriken
21 Jul 2026

