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  1. Public Bookmark 99

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    Gusu Lan Bakery
    Online Custom Order Form

    Requested Cake Type: [purple velvet]
    Frosting: [red wine-flavored whipped fondant]
    Filling: [margarita-flavored jello]
    Size: [24 layers]
    Shape: [rhombicosidodecahedron]
    Writing on Cake: [sorry for lightly singeing ur couch. i just wanted to see if it was flammable, for science. i honestly think it looks better like that but here’s a cake since u apparently don’t agree]

    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Subject: Your Order Could Not Be Fulfilled

    Hello,
    The bakery is unable to complete your cake request from Order #103123 based on the information you provided. Apologies for the inconvenience.
    Best wishes,
    Gusu Lan Bakery

    OR: lwj is a baker. wwx wants to order a cake. what could go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,315
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    771
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    99
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    15 Jul 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark 67

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    Wei Ying yelps. But, like, in a dignified way. "H-hey, now! I, uh…"

    Taking his cue, Lan Zhan backs off completely, removing both hands and mouth from Wei Ying's body, which isn't exactly what he wants. Lan Zhan's face is neutral, and he waits for Wei Ying to explain himself.

    "I wanna keep going," Wei Ying says, wanting to make that part crystal clear. "But I just… I kind of came here under the assumption that I would be topping."

    Lan Zhan blinks very, very slowly. "I am a top."

    "Well," Wei Ying says carefully. "So am I."

    "You are not."

    Wei Ying lets out a cry of indignation. "Am too!"

    Lan Zhan gives a minute shake of his head. "You do not know it yet, but you are not a top."

    "And how the fuck would you know my preference?!" Now, Wei Ying is getting genuinely angry. "I've never had gay sex with anyone, let alone you, so how can you—"

    "Wei Ying."

    "What?!"

    Lan Zhan is giving Wei Ying the same look that an adult gives a child who thinks they can go swimming when it's freezing outside. "Let me try. If you do not like it, we will stop, and I will be the bottom."

    Never bring a bottom to a top fight.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,689
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
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    70
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    466
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    67
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    2,750

    15 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 68

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    LinkedIn

    Wei Wuxian
    Radical Realist

    Today a child came up to me on the street and said, “I want to be an entrepreneur excelling in B2B sales just like you one day.”
    You know what I said?
    “Get this thing away from me.”
    The kid may have run away crying, but I told his mother this is the greatest gift anyone is ever going to give him.
    The gift of failure.
    When he’s an entrepreneur excelling in B2B sales, his mother is going to thank me.

    OR: amid a sea of bots on linkedin, wwx is a rare organic shitposter

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,314
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    463
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    2,166

    15 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 64

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    "I set up a Grindr profile last night and I've received many messages of people comparing me to a catfish. Now that I know what it means, I'm relieved I haven't started responding to the messages yet."

    There's a marked silence coming from the other side of the room. The needle is frozen in midair, resting on Wei Ying's index finger as he stares dumbly back at Lan Zhan. It had been a while since he'd seen him speechless. Wei Ying has a tremendous poker face and rarely lets it drop, even in times of distress. Lan Zhan wonders if he's said something wrong.

    "C-can you repeat that?"

    Wei Ying also never stutters, so Lan Zhan obliges him quickly. Repeating himself does nothing to quell Wei Ying's confusion. In fact, it seems to grow.

    "W-hy— why— why would you do that?"


    After thirteen years of pining after a best friend that's shown absolutely no interest in him, Lan Zhan decides to create a profile on Grindr and get this whole virginity thing dealt with.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,446
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    61
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    479
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    64
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    2,033

    15 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 50

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    "Unless you don't think you can cut it?" Nie Huaisang prompts with a raised eyebrow.

    "I'll do you one better," Wei Wuxian saunters directly into what he knows is a trap like the vainglorious idiot he is. "I'll get him to blow me in the back alley."

    -OR-

    Straight Boi Wei Ying accepts Nie Huaisang's challenge to seduce a man before his impending wedding to MianMian. As it turns out, failure is literally not an option.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,485
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    249
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    2,050

    15 Jul 2026

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