oldspite



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander when asked about speculations of his boyfriend Ilya Rozanov ‘tanking’ on purpose to reunite with him in Providence : “...What? He gets an earful from me every time they send him down. He has lousy puck control and weak defense and needs to work on his shooting accuracy and you think I want it to stay that way? No I don't want my boyfriend to be a joke of a player, I'd like him to put decent enough numbers that he doesn't get moved up and down the NHL and the AHL like an idiot. Now leave me alone.”

    or: Ilya Rozanov is a mediocre fourth liner of the Boston Bears. When he gets outed, the internet theorizes he plays poorly on purpose. His boyfriend isn't amused.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,646
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    455
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    3,120
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    648
    Hits:
    17,668

    11 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Cliff Marlow has all of the evidence.

    Ilya moved to Ottawa. Ilya got happier. Ilya stopped pulling babes. Ilya kept smiling at some dude on the ice. And years ago, Cliff saw a contact in Ilya’s phone named Jane.

    And most damning of all, Jane rhymes with Zane.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov is in love with Zane Boodram, and Cliff Marlow is about to become the greatest ally the NHL has ever seen because he loves his bro.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,465
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    120
    Kudos:
    1,312
    Bookmarks:
    137
    Hits:
    9,019

    09 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Hayden Pike and his group chat of coworkers are pretty sure their new manager Shane has a parasocial obsession with a professional hockey player.

    He talks about him constantly, knows everything about him, watches every game, and even has candid photos of him that are definitely not available through conventional sources. So naturally, they decide to intervene to find him a man who actually knows he exists.

    Shane, for his part, has no idea what they're talking about.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,125
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    719
    Kudos:
    12,885
    Bookmarks:
    1,785
    Hits:
    74,675

    07 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    906
    Kudos:
    14,811
    Bookmarks:
    2,423
    Hits:
    99,954

    07 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Several MLH players have their phones hacked.

    Most people find embarrassing photos.

    Ilya Rozanov accidentally leaks five years' worth of sex reviews.

    -

    You know that TikTok trend where people rate how good the sex was in front of their partner?

    Yeah. It's that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,853
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    358
    Kudos:
    11,143
    Bookmarks:
    1,977
    Hits:
    52,820

    06 Jul 2026