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- Words:
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- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 35
Bookmarked by omendreamer
28 Jun 2026
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Summary
"Your first declarations could do with a little more finesse," Jack said. "C'mon, do over."
Bookmarked by omendreamer
21 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
He'd been outside, on the phone with Jack, when he'd first heard the wail of an approaching rig. Their discussion of whether to try the fancy new pizzeria around the corner from Jack's place, the one that made a big deal about the unusual toppings it offered, or to stick with the more basic but tried-and-true option when watching the game tonight, had had to wait. "Gotta go," Robby had said, distracted by trying to estimate how far out the ambulance was, "see you later, I love you."
Now, Robby stood there in the trauma bay and the full horror of what he'd done slowly dawned on him.
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"How is it that you've only lived here for five years, but you've got two cabinets full of tupperware?" Jack yelled from the kitchen.
"Tupperware's useful," Robby called back as he taped up the very last box of paperbacks and picked up a marker to scrawl LIVING ROOM: Books across the top.
Bookmarked by omendreamer
21 Jun 2026
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- Words:
- 95,430
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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“You ever done this before?” Butcher asks but Homelander doesn’t look up, mesmerised by how the slit gapes at him slightly when expelling more pre and wondering if his did the same. Realising then that this is the very first cock he’s ever seen this close.
Homelander shakes his head minutely, “No, of course not.” before leaning in closer and encouraging the tip to rub between his lips.
Homelander always had a keen sense of smell but no scent had ever stuck with him so thoroughly as Butchers. How it changes over time, how he slowly becomes obsessed.
Bookmarked by omendreamer
02 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
How Butcher truly relished the filthiness of it all; willingly and readily succumbing to depravity all because of him. For him.
That lofty fragrance substituted for its cheaper counterpart. Dollar store deodorant stick barely there beneath layers of sweat and grime, sticking along the creases of all those ridiculous Hawaiian shirts. Touching really.
Homelander took his twisting stomach to be something of an appreciation for Butcher in those fleeting moments the two came face-to-face because oh, if it really was all his fault, why not bask in it?
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gaslight gatekeep girlboss by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV), The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
05 Dec 2021
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Summary
“Look, believe it or not, I had no intention of killing the Vampiric Council when I came here,” declares Nadja, sitting alone on the couch. “But Guillermo and I arrived at the first council meeting and did the whole, you know, the whole thing, the first day thing. Introductions and all that, yes hello wonderful to meet you, yes this is my bodyguard, yes he has slaughtered a tremendous number of our kind”--she flaps her hand absently--“normal first day things, you know? It was fine.” She pauses. “It got really fucking weird on the second day.”
Or:
Nadja and Guillermo seize control of vampiric politics, puppeteer world powers, and have the hottest of hot girl summers.
Unfortunately, they also really miss the stupid assholes they're in love with. With no way left to find them, they have no choice but to consult an Archivist.
Series
- Part 1 of it's not a whore HOUSE it's a whore HOME
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,349
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 151
- Kudos:
- 1,231
- Bookmarks:
- 309
- Hits:
- 8,515
Bookmarked by omendreamer
01 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“We had to appoint new vampires to the council,” says Nadja, ticking it off on her fingers. “We had to put down all these little uprisings from upstarts who thought they could do better. We had to change the letterhead. It was, I tell you, for a while, we were burning the candle at both ends.”
“But, Nadja’s a great leader,” says Guillermo. Nadja flaps her hand at him, with an air of great modesty. “No, no, it’s true. It was inspiring to watch you brutally rip out the hearts of dissidents. And we managed it. Things have been running pretty smoothly for the past few months.”
“Well, except for the thing with the Queen of England.”
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there is a shortage in the blood supply (but there is no shortage of blood) by zarya
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
16 Sep 2021
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Summary
Something has to go pretty wrong in your life, Guillermo supposes, for you to reach a point where you’re doing heavy mental calculus to determine whether there's romantic subtext behind your boss’s offer to help you dispose of a corpse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,199
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 222
- Kudos:
- 7,032
- Bookmarks:
- 1,068
- Hits:
- 61,232
Bookmarked by omendreamer
31 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
First of all, god fucking damn it Laszlo. Second of all, why does Nandor know what The Fucknasium is? What, actually, is a Fucknasium? Guillermo is really dying to know, at this point.
“He was mistaken,” Guillermo says, too sleepy to put up any kind of real fight. “I was just passing by.”
Nandor squints at him for a moment before seeming to decide he doesn’t detect a lie. “Good,” he declares, taking Guillermo’s hand and stepping up into the coffin. He settles into it, resting against the fur-lined pillow at the head. “I don’t like the thought of all those perverts touching my fami -- “ He catches himself, smiling a little. “My bodyguard.”
Guillermo snorts, rolling his eyes. “Why?” he asks. “Are you gonna touch me?”
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Summary
At a crowded attendings bar night, a stupid bet reveals that Jack can be devastatingly charming, Robby can be catastrophically jealous, and that neither of them has successfully processed the handjob they shared in a supply closet during the Clinton administration.
Unfortunately for them, almost thirty years of unresolved feelings turn out to have excellent stamina.
Series
- Part 1 of Domestic Rabbot
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Summary
"You... you took home Baby Jane Doe?"
Together, Robby and Jack grasp a new chance at family.
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- Words:
- 7,313
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 23
Bookmarked by omendreamer
30 May 2026
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The Effects of Touch Intervention in Contact-Averse Patients: A Case Study by malicecharity
Fandoms: The Pitt (TV)
26 May 2026
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Summary
"Robby’s just a little… skittish, you know?” McKay said, nodding slightly, affirming the unimpeachable truth she spoke.
Jack blinked. “What do you mean?”
She glanced into the patient's room, then back at Jack, a quick burst of skepticism crossing her face. “Look at him,” she urged gently. “He looks like he wants to run through the wall Looney-Tunes style just to escape a hand on his arm.”
A revealing chat with McKay brings up some unexpected questions for Jack regarding Robby's apparent aversion to touch. Being of a scientific mind, he can't abide by his previous oversight. Naturally the only course of action is to embark on a rigorous, methodical investigation into the matter. For the sake of curiosity, obviously. No other reason.
Series
- Part 3 of malicecharity's rabbot fics
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A quick and easy guide to hitting on your hero by HolisticMistake
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
26 May 2026
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Summary
Deadpool’s growing fascination with Spider-Man culminates when he accidentally puts a hit on Spidey. While there might be better ways to meet your hero, it works out in the end.
Bookmarked by omendreamer
23 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“You saved me,” Spidey would say, full of awe and gratitude.
“I sure did,” Deadpool would reply, “I’m just awesome like that.”
“You really are,” Spidey would probably sigh sweetly, and then they’d become best friends, or make out, or get married, or something. The exact details are a little vague, but surely it would be something good.
Or at least that’s the idea.
In the end, it goes down nothing like that. Spidey steals away the whole element of romantic meet-cute because he comes looking for Deadpool on purpose.
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who got the keys to my bimmer by hollandaze8124
Fandoms: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
25 Nov 2015
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Summary
"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?"Harry gives him a slightly bewildered look and furrows his brow.
"A porcupine has the pricks on the outside," Eggsy finishes.
~
AU: Eggsy is a mechanic working in a garage owned by Dean.
Harry Hart is Galahad, Dean is forever an asshole, and Lee Unwin and his death have no connection to Kingsman. In terms of setting, the Lancelot trials are over (Roxy won the spot) but the Valentine investigation is ongoing.
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we will become silhouettes by ganymede_elegy
Fandoms: Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
20 Jun 2026
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Summary
When Jon was a little boy, mom had sat him down and told him that their family had a special gift. A polite way to put it, since it's not really a gift. More like a curse.
"It's normal to want to help them," mom had told him, holding his little hand in hers. "It's normal to be curious and want to talk to them, but you can't. You have to pretend you don't see them."
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Summary
After Jack and Robby finally got serious, it came as a surprise.
When a patient's sister returned in the morning—bearing donuts and a smile that was half-chagrined, half-determined, her thank you note including a phone number—Jack was flattered. He was still charting, long past when he should have gone home, but he was glad he stayed. Not because of the phone number, though that was always a nice ego boost. But because of Robby. The way Robby's eyes went flinty when he realized why the woman was there. His smile tight. Shoulders tense. On the surface, perfectly polite. In reality, a storm.
Jack never expected Robby to be possessive.
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Summary
Esther looked at him steadily for a long moment, and then took her glasses off. "And you think this isn't a therapy question, Michael?"
(After the Fourth of July, Robby grapples with making a new path forward, with Jack at his side.)
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Instead, happiness had turned out to be a man with cold extremities.
Because of course it had.
Jack shifted behind him and, with a level of audacity usually reserved for toddlers and Roman emperors, slid his frozen foot against Robby’s calf.
Robby shot upright.
“No.”
Jack burst out laughing.
“No. Absolutely not. That is an act of war.”
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- Words:
- 8,821
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 19
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Summary
It was so weird to see Jack startled; normally there had to be a gun involved, or Holly talking about getting a boyfriend. March said, louder, “We absolutely believe in reincarnation, sir. It’s one of our passions, as private detectives.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,054
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 888
- Bookmarks:
- 94
- Hits:
- 4,910
Bookmarked by omendreamer
14 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“Reincarnation isn’t real,” said Jack patiently. “And no. It’s not weird to me.”
He said that really significantly. March looked at him for a second, gauging, and said, “Because-”
“Because I fuck men,” said Jack.
March was speechless, which almost never happened. He looked down into the vent to give himself time to think. Now there was another guy in the office and they were arguing. March finally said, “You were married. For like 15 years.”
“I like women too,” said Jack. March looked at him; he was giving the patient face like he was talking to a dumb, dumb client.
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Summary
Jackson Healy is getting a new apartment, whether he wants one or not.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,391
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 31
- Kudos:
- 809
- Bookmarks:
- 111
- Hits:
- 4,158
Bookmarked by omendreamer
14 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Healy looks up into Holly’s bright, hopeful face. “This one has a pool,” Holly says.
From the stool on Holly’s other side, March leans over to squint at the listing. “That’s in a really shitty neighborhood, honey. Mr. Healy doesn’t want to live there.”
“I think he can take care of himself,” Holly says primly.
“Eh. He’s not so tough.”
“He beat you up, didn’t he?” Holly says, with the conviction that Healy could easily do it again. Privately, Healy agrees. March has all the physical prowess of an overcooked spaghetti noodle.