owlithe
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When Quirrell abruptly quits his post as professor of Muggle Studies, teaching apprentice Hermione Granger volunteers to replace him. Unhappy with some of Dumbledore’s recent appointments, the board of governors volunteers Lucius Malfoy to assess Hermione’s teaching for a term in order to determine if she’s the right fit for the job. Neither of them is happy about it.
Or: a very petty pair make the students of Hogwarts look like mature adults. No Voldemort AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 293,060
- Chapters:
- 37/37
- Comments:
- 2,085
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- 3,589
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- 1,072
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- 164,308
Bookmarked by owlithe
20 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
So good. I wasn't sure at first about the no Voldemort AU but it still works very well.
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Lucius Malfoy wants something from Hermione Granger. She wants to find out how far he's willing to go to get it.
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"His eyes were mistrustful and such a sharp, cold grey that, as they ran down her body, they left a strange tingling in their wake. Hermione felt like he was attempting to unpick the very threads of her.
Perhaps he managed it because, within seconds, Hermione saw it – a troubling flash of comprehension. Recognition that a move was being made against him.
That he was being challenged.
It was at that moment that Hermione experienced the unpleasant, stomach-twisting realisation that, while her wine had emboldened her, it had also, perhaps, impaired her judgement. Because, as much as Lucius Malfoy disliked getting his hands dirty, she strongly suspected that he loved a challenge."
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When Hermione Granger saves Lucius Malfoy’s life during the final battle at Hogwarts, she unknowingly triggers a centuries-old family curse. Forced into a reluctant alliance, they must overcome their deep-seated hatreds and opposing aims if they're to have any hope of surviving Voldemort’s violent, chaotic new regime.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 347,567
- Chapters:
- 33/?
- Comments:
- 2,498
- Kudos:
- 2,383
- Bookmarks:
- 538
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- 106,365
Bookmarked by owlithe
15 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
The burn is very slow in this one, I love it.
On chapter 33 now. -
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“Oh, hello, you,” Hermione said softly. It was a little frog, no bigger than the hollow of the palm of her hand. Gently, she scooped it up in her hand and smiled. It really was very cute.
Then it opened its mouth and said: “What the fuck, Granger?”
That was when she screamed and threw the frog straight back into the plants.
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In which Draco Malfoy is accidentally—and possibly irreversibly—turned into a frog, and he relentlessly
antagonizescharms Hermione Granger as she attempts to help him.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,353
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 939
- Kudos:
- 1,272
- Bookmarks:
- 431
- Hits:
- 27,596
Bookmarked by owlithe
30 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Possibly one of my fav reads. It's so cute and unexpected. Malfrog 🤣
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Map of Hogwarts + 'A Beginner's Guide To Hogwarts' by SheFlooLikeAMadman
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Jul 2014
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GRYFFINDORS. Go up the marble staircase and left, and keep travelling in that general direction; you’ll want to be going towards your left, because Gryffindor Tower is on the easternmost side of the castle, and you’re coming from the north/north-west. Once you reach the second floor, you can take a short-cut! Concealed behind a tapestry is a narrow staircase to the upper floors...
A guide for people writing fic set in Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, who want to know where everything is, a first-person walk-through, written as if a Prefect is handing out pamphlets to all the poor ickle firsties. ^_^’
( Includes a map I made, back before the new illustrated editions came out when we still had no official guide, based on JKR's. )( UPDATE: now includes a rough map of Hogsmeade! )
Bookmarked by owlithe
28 May 2026