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  1. Public Bookmark 57

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    Summary

    By puck drop, the Boston lineup was announced and the crowd roared. But when the announcer reached the captain—

    “Alternate captain, Cliff Marleau—”

    Shane’s head snapped up. Alternate?

    A ripple moved through the arena, confused murmurs bleeding into the cheers.

    There was no mention of Rozanov. No Captain Ilya Rozanov leads the Raiders onto the ice.

    Ilya didn’t miss games. Not if he could help it. He’d play injured if the trainers let him. Hell, he has played injured before.

    The realization hit Shane like a fist to the chest as he stared across the ice, heart slamming against his ribs while Boston skated out. Number 81 wasn’t among them.

    Ilya wasn’t here.

    Where are you, Ilya?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,713
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    632
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    6,471

    23 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 81

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    The bottle was gone before he knew it, leaving him dizzy and sad. He held it upside down and shook it over his mouth, trying to find a few final drops, and sighed heavily. It hadn’t fixed anything. Of course it hadn’t. Fuck. Every time he closed his eyes he saw them, Rose fucking Landry with her hands up Shane’s shirt, like he belonged to her. Ilya supposed he did. And that thought hit like a blow to the head.

    It was real.

    -------

    A rewrite of The end of S1E4 where Ilya takes a little too much after his mother

    TW: Attempted Suicide via OD

    PLS do not read if this will put you at risk, be safe out there <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,347
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    536
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    6,194

    23 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 83

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    Summary

    "You're freezing," Shane said cautiously.

    “No, no, I am so warm. But it is great! Here, look, I made food,” Ilya said and all but tore his hand back because Shane was trying to turn it over to where the cut was. He turned back to the frying pan.

    The meat was burnt. Why did that keep happening?

    “Ilya. You're really, really freaking me out right now.”

    ---

    Ilya was a hiker. He lived on mountains and in their ravines. It was life as he had known it for over a decade. It was how Ilya was, a trait passed down from his mother.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,482
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    420
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    3,729

    28 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 68

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov was not scared of death.
    He didn’t understand how anyone could be. Death was not scary to him. That doesn’t mean he was being careless or actively seeking out ways to die.
    I mean sure, he could admit he didn’t look both ways before crossing the road, or stop drinking when on medication or even drink responsibly at that. He didn’t panic when he held his breath underwater for just that bit too long it started to burn his lungs and yeah, he could get a bit clumsy when using kitchen knives, sometimes wondering what would happen if he just moved his blade that bit closer to his wrist, thinking about how it would cut deep and bleed and then he-
    Ilya Rozanov wasn’t scared of death and he wasn’t actively seeking it out. Not that he would tell anyone if he was

    OR
    Ilya rozanov is depressed, traumatised and slavic so he refuses to accept help from the people who care about him and tries to just man up and take it (but shocker he can't)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,763
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    366
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    5,321

    24 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane wasn’t his boyfriend. But for a while it had felt like it. They’d been alone in his house. He’d made them tuna melts and watched TV. They’d cuddled like a real couple. And then he had to go and ruin it. Like he ruins everything. The press won't stop talking about Shane and Rose. He's turning into his mother and for some reason, Scott Hunter is the only one who sees him. And it scares him.

    OR

    Ilya spirals after the tuna melt scene and engages in self-destructive behaviors. Scott Hunter notices and refuses to go away.

     

    *This is a stand alone fic and is not related to the others in the series.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,566
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    447
    Kudos:
    3,491
    Bookmarks:
    510
    Hits:
    39,038

    23 May 2026