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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ilya, Shane needs you to be direct. He probably just thinks you were asking about these things as a friend,” Rose explains.

    “He thought I was asking him to a candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant on Valentine’s Day as a friend?”

    Ilya has been trying to ask Shane Hollander out on a date for months. It hasn't been going well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    73
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    1,674
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    30 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is twelve when he realizes he can understand Russian.

    Or, in a world where you can understand whatever language(s) your soulmate speaks, it takes Shane and Ilya an embarrassing amount of time to realize they’re soulmates.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,867
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    777
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    25,678
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    223,590

    29 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya:
    9/10 she had freckles

    Shane:
    7.5/10 Medium dick but he ate my ass like he was starving for it

    ---

    Shane and Ilya call it quits after the All-Stars game when Ilya says they can't be anything. He says no one will fuck Shane like he can, and Shane takes that personally, starting a two year cycle of sending each other ratings of the other people they fuck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,424
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    270
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    7,109
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    1,257
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    51,791

    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Holy shit, dude,” Hayden whispers, too loudly, as he pulls Shane away. “No way you were just talking to Ilya Rozanov.”

    “Uh, yeah. We just met. Wait, did he lie to me?” Shane asks, looking back over his shoulder where Ilya is now standing next to a short but very muscular woman with long black hair. “What does he play?”

    Hayden stops, so Shane does too.

    “You don’t know who that was?” 

    Shane makes a face that says ‘no shit’, and waits for an answer. 

    “Dude. You are so innocent. Ilya Rozanov, ‘Russia’s Greatest Love Machine’?” Hayden says, like it’s obvious. 

    Shane looks at him blankly, and then Hayden laughs. Not like, a chuckle. He full on cackles, bending over like he can’t even contain it. “Man, he’s like prolific.”

    “At what?” Shane snaps, because he’s getting really sick of not being in on the joke. 

    “He’s a porn star, man.” 

    “A-” Shane says, swallowing thickly. “What?” 

    ---

    Ilya is a porn star, Shane is a hockey player, and their paths cross.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,214
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    1,129
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    441,922

    28 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Who are you talking to?” Sveta is looking with a raised eyebrow, at Ilya’s delighted face.

    “Ah, I am talking to my catfish.”

    “What do you mean, your catfish?” Ilya angles the phone so Sveta can see the shirtless picture on the screen.

    “This guy is pretending to be Shane Hollander on Grindr. It’s pretty funny. He’s cropped the face out, but he’s using pictures from the billboard next to my apartment.”

    Or: Ilya Rozanov is sure he's being catfished- why would the real Shane Hollander be on Grindr, talking to random university of Ottawa students? But the more he talks to Wayne, the more he starts to like him, and the more he wishes Wayne would just come clean so they can finally be together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,715
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    594
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    10,169
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    1,568
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    116,944

    27 Jun 2026