snarknerdytome
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When Alpha Astarion gets trapped in a wardrobe with 'Beta' Gale, an unexpected revelation piques his curiosity. While chasing the cure for their tadpoles, the unlikely pair navigate revealed secrets, an evolving relationship, and internalized shame by avoiding their feelings and fucking about it. Y'know. Like healthy people do.
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Astarion lands a job as an elf assistant to a shopping mall Santa. His boss is a jerk, but his coworkers make working retail at Christmas (mostly) bearable. But when their usual mall Santa, Minsc, sends a handsome last-minute replacement named Gale, Astarion's Christmas might just turn out to be a merry one after all. AKA the silly, smutty, shopping mall Santa crack fic no one knew they needed (including me).
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An Exercise in Restraint by ShadowViking, snarknerdytome
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
28 Dec 2025
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Astarion and Gale let their curiosity get the best of them and end up finding much more than they expected while exploring the House of Hope.
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Gale and Astarion are keeping watch when they hear some unexpected noises from Halsin's tent. Shenanigans ensue.
Recent bookmarks
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tell me i'm a bad man, kick me like a stray by neighbourhoodcryptid
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
15 Jul 2026
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Gale Dekarios' music was terrible by every standard. Undeniably. Nothing but self-absorbed, self-obsessed garbage that was exactly the right kind of horny bullshit to get pretty girls falling over themselves to get to him. And any half decent musician could tell you that his bass playing was completely devoid of any sort of substance.
But the worst part of Gale's music, if you asked Astarion at least, was that it really wasn't terrible at all. It was an insult to music itself that someone with all that talent and beauty would turn out to be such an insufferable asshole.
Astarion hated Gale as much as you could possibly hate a person, there was no denying that. So how the hell did he end up here of all places, standing in one of the club's filthy bathroom stalls with Gale's lips wrapped around his cock?
Astarion wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that question.
Series
- Part 1 of i know this hurts (it was meant to)
Bookmarked by snarknerdytome
25 Jul 2026
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A Waterdhavian Werewolf In Rivington by BeepBeepBoop333
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
14 Jul 2026
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Who he searched for would be the middle-aged Gale, employed at Baldur’s Fest as a performer. Unique for a monstrosity, in Astarion’s experience. He couldn’t remember another creature of darkness he’d ever encountered who’d be happy to prance about dressed in breeches and codpieces.
Besides himself, that was.
As a Dhampir, Astarion has dedicated his life to hunting down monstrosities and the undead. When faced with the dilemma presented by his latest target, a werewolf by the name of Gale Dekarios, for the first time he finds his hand stilled.
And his body filled with lust.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,294
- Chapters:
- 2/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 30
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 207
Bookmarked by snarknerdytome
15 Jul 2026
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Strange. Some deeper part of him, the shrewd sailor browbeaten by decades of harshly-given warnings from pirates more wizened than even himself, knew to fear the call. Knew what lay beneath the tempting balm of it. Knew what manor of creature wailed such sweet melodies through the air to lure in its next meal.
Yet his body did not care. The song plucked away irksome thoughts of his hubris and his folly, of the flash of brilliant white that sent him toppling from the main mast to the slickened deck below. He sighed into its sound, clear and bright, and crawled forward.
On the other side of the rocky outcropping, he came upon the lullaby’s source.
Yes, his quivering hindbrain told him. See? There it is. Your death.
Even tangled up in netting as it was.
Gale, battered and burned, washes up on a beach. He's not the only one.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,420
- Chapters:
- 1/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 36
- Bookmarks:
- 10
- Hits:
- 272
Bookmarked by snarknerdytome
15 Jun 2026
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Fine Wine (you get better & better with time) by matchatonic
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
28 May 2026
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“I think that means you lost.”
“On a technicality, really.” Astarion attempts to refute, but finds he starts going adrift in the way Gale looks so satisfied with himself, having bested the proprietor of taste and confidence. “How far off is a peach from a plum?”
“Pretty far, I reckon. And a loss is a loss.” Gale says, and sets down his cup in between them. “But all is not dashed so quickly, Astarion! Take comfort in the fact that this means you are permitted a chance to earn a new honorific.” When Astarion looks up at him in confusion, he quickly adds, “I am sure you are aware of the adage that hot people always tip well, are you not?”
Ah, well…who is he to dispute that?
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a modern sommelier au 🍷🖤Bookmarked by snarknerdytome
29 May 2026
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In one whirlwind afternoon, the party makes camp in the ruins just outside Baldur's Gate. Gale struggles to come to terms with the idea that he's still alive, and might have a chance to live even more. Astarion understands, in his own way.
“I don’t hate you, Astarion. I admire you. I admire how you never let your fear get the better of you. I admire how you pursue your desires so openly. I envy the ease with which you carry yourself.” Gale shrugged and stared into his cup. “I do think you’re abrasive sometimes, but sometimes a little rudeness is what’s needed.”
“And what if I am afraid?” Astarion asked, looking just as surprised at the question as Gale. “What if the idea of going back and facing my— my captor, what if it terrifies me? What then?”
Gale smiled, softly. “Then I’d think you’re very brave for doing it anyway.”
Series
- Part 1 of red like a sunrise, purple like a bruise
Bookmarked by snarknerdytome
16 May 2026