19 Works by suspiciousflashlight
Listing Works
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Community Engagement by suspiciousflashlight for WiggyTiggy
Fandoms: The Brokenwood Mysteries
10 Jun 2025
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About fifteen seconds later, Daniel’s phone buzzed. He picked it up to check the notification and spent a moment frowning at the screen. Then he stood up, leaned forward to get a better look at Kristin over the top of her computer, and said, “Did you just sign me up for a pottery class?”
“Me? Noooo,” Kristin lied, minimizing the community centre website in case he glanced down to fact-check. “You’re doing pottery? That’s adventurous. Have fun.”
“I’m not doing pottery,” Daniel said firmly.
“Really? Because I heard you were registered. So it sounds to me like you are doing pottery.”
Daniel crossed his substantial arms over his chest and glowered at her. “Deregister me.”
Kristin crossed her own, less substantial arms over her chest and leaned back in her chair. “No. It cost twenty-five dollars. And it’ll be good for you. ”
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Uchiha Sasuke VS The United Shinobi Nations by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
09 Oct 2024
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When Sasuke ends up back in Konoha after the Fourth Shinobi War, he doesn't have a lot going for him: no permanent address, dubious career prospects, a small fortune in overdue fines at the public library, and—worst of all—some kind of complicated feelings situation going on with his best friend, whose bed he happens to be sleeping in.
But asking Naruto out turns out to be the easy part, even if it happens mostly by accident. No, the real problems arise after that, when Sasuke finds himself challenged to single combat (or strategy board game) by every single person Naruto has ever had a thing with. Even without much (any) firsthand romantic experience himself, Sasuke is pretty sure that isn't normal. But hey, in between dodging village council meetings and avoiding folding his laundry, at least it gives him something to do.
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“Suga's not coming onto me,” Daichi says again, now mostly trying to convince herself. With Suga, well, it’s true that she can be a bit of a wildcard. And she gets ideas—no, Ideas. Comparatively, deciding to test drive lesbian sex would be pretty tame for her. The time she tried to snort wasabi to clear her sinuses comes to mind, for instance. Not to mention the Raccoon Incident. Daichi finds herself hesitating, less certain by the second. “Right?”
Kuroo shrugs out of Daichi’s slackened grip so she can give her a bracing slap on the back. “Face it, Sawamura,” she says, while Bokuto nods sagely beside her, “that girl wants you to rail her.”
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It's Not Gay If It Happens In A Parallel Universe With A Mirror Version Of Your Internationally Wanted Best Friend by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Naruto
29 Nov 2022
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The version of Sasuke that Naruto meets in the Limited Tsukuyomi isn't all that different from the Sasuke Naruto knows in real life. Well, aside from the terrible fashion. And all the flirting with girls. Not to mention the single-minded commitment to buying Naruto popsicles...
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How to Succeed on Your Government-Mandated Language Test Without Really Trying by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Naruto
07 Apr 2022
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Take the four-month PRO contract, Kakashi had said. It’ll be fun, Kakashi had said. Well—no, what had actually happened was that Kakashi had taken Sasuke out to a bar in downtown Gatineau, bought him two shots of tequila, and said, “Here’s the thing. PRO is hell and you’ll be more miserable than you’ve ever been in your life, but if you can tough it out then I can transfer you back to the NCR as a program officer no problem. I’m talking indeterminate position, salary bump, benefits, vacation, prospects for advancement, the whole package. Think on it, okay?”
And now here Sasuke was—back in the NCR, mildly scarred from four months working under Kabuto—only to find his apartment uninhabitable, his relationship moving faster than anticipated, his out-of-touch manager even more out-of-touch than he remembered, and the future of his brand new indeterminate-with-benefits-and-vacations position hinging on the achievement of a successful BBB on his language test. And his Excel sheets, left for four months in Naruto's incapable hands? Don't even get him started.
Series
- Part 2 of NCR Workplace Misconduct
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If Daichi were to describe rural Aomori diplomatically, he might mention the meditative calm of the quiet coastline or the relaxing pace of life in the country. If Daichi were to describe rural Aomori honestly, however, he would be compelled to admit that staying out here in the middle of nowhere with his cranky aunt has him out of his mind with boredom. Between refereeing borderline-fratricidal altercations amongst his equally bored siblings and listening to his aunt bicker incessantly with her geriatric neighbour over hydrangea pruning, Daichi is ready to rule this the Most Tedious Summer Break of All Time.
And then he meets the neighbour's grandson. Who happens to be the ex-captain of a certain rival Tokyo team. The same ex-captain that Daichi has been thinking about incessantly since he graduated high school. And suddenly Daichi's summer break gets a lot more interesting.
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Do It For The Hot Australian Teaching Assistant by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
06 Aug 2021
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“Look," says Daichi, "if you’re so freaked out about kissing, why don’t you just practice on me?”
Suga scowls and punches Daichi in the stomach. While Daichi wheezes, Suga brushes her hair daintily behind her ear and jerks her face away, frowning at the neatly folded stack of laundry sitting on Daichi’s desk. “Don’t make fun of me! Just because you nail everything on the first try—”
“I do not,” Daichi insists, wiping at her watering eyes. She grabs Suga’s chin and twists her head back towards her, firm but gentle, forcing Suga to look at her. “And I’m not making fun of you. Just kiss me. That way we’ll both get it over with, and then you won’t have to lie awake at night worrying about hot Australian teaching assistants stealing your soulmate.”
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By the time Sugawara is twenty-nine, he's worked out the perfect way to profit financially off an easy marriage scam. By the time Sugawara is thirty, marriage ends up scamming him right back.
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Before Kuroo has made it through her first full week of university, her life has already been derailed by a new and all-consuming purpose: beat Sawamura Daichi at Statistics I or die trying.
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Love is Stored in the Mandibular Second Premolar by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
16 Jan 2021
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As a rule, Nishinoya doesn't believe in fate. Except that sometimes he does. Like, for instance—just to take a random example—when he makes an appointment to get his tooth fixed and discovers that his new dentist is the hot dude he thirst-followed on Instagram for his gym selfies. That's destiny, baby.
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If someone had asked Daichi yesterday how he planned to spend his Monday lunch period, he probably would have answered "eating my lunch" or "thinking about volleyball" or "eating my lunch while thinking about volleyball." He would not have answered "sneaking into the staff room to hack into my physics teacher's email so I can delete the embarrassing video my best friend accidentally submitted in place of our projectile motion assignment"—and yet somehow, to his profound horror, here he is, slandering the father of modern physics to his teacher's face as he stalls desperately for time.
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This is not an international booty call, no matter what Ryuu says. This is a buddy backpacking trip along the French Riviera, totally platonic, and because this also happens to be Asahi's first time traveling outside of Japan, Nishinoya has already decided that (no pressure) this trip must be absolutely one-hundred-percent-plus-shipping-and-handling perfect. Asahi is going to have the time of his life, whether he wants to or not.
(But hey, if the natural romantic magnetism of the Riviera just so happens to prompt Asahi to fall madly in love with him? And if Nishinoya just so happens to do everything in his power to nudge that process along a little bit? Well...)
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In hindsight, Suga can identify a number of guilty parties involved in the manufacturing of his own personal quarter-life crisis. He blames himself for his willingness to take a joke just a little tiny bit too far; he blames Daichi for having such nice, muscular thighs; he blames online women's lifestyle magazines for doling out questionable relationship advice to impressionable youths; he blames Kuroo for being, well, Kuroo.
Mostly, though, Suga blames his own inordinate love of hot chili oil and Daichi's inability to comprehend exponential functions, because somehow, improbably, the collision of those two innocent variables is what kickstarts this whole mortifying situation in the first place.
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Daichi has big plans for his first year as captain of the Tohoku University Swing Dance Club. Better social dancing, competition prep, classic routines—this is the year the team finally gets whipped into shape, the year they finally start catching up to Sendai's fabulous all-girls team. He's going to make it happen.
Unfortunately, there are a couple of variables he failed to account for in his rigorous planning: two of the new first years seem to hate each other's guts, the only girl in the club is too petrified to dance with anyone, the team's best two dancers haven't spoken to each other in four months, Tanaka keeps talking about tear-away shirts, and oh, apparently now Daichi needs to learn how to put together an original team choreography so the club can compete against teams from all over Japan at the annual Sendai Showdown.
There's also the tiny, totally inconsequential, utterly insignificant matter of his massive crush on his practice partner, who also happens to be his best friend, who also happens to be the club's vice captain. Yeah... that's not awkward at all.
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Kageyama muttered something far too quiet for Suga to make out. At least, he hoped that was the case. He had sort of caught a few words, but he had to have misheard, because what it had sounded like, what it had sounded like was—
“I beg your pardon?” said Suga.
“I said they’re of the captain,” said Kageyama.
“I… beg your pardon,” said Suga. He’d definitely heard Kageyama that time, which was odd, because the words he’d heard were clearly incorrect. Maybe he needed to get his hearing tested. All that time spent around Noya and Tanaka and Hinata screaming in his ears—
“The pictures are of the captain,” Kageyama said, a little slower this time, as if he too had concerns about Suga’s hearing.
“Don’t be silly,” said Suga, because what else was there to say? It was impossible. It was totally absurd. As if Daichi would ever—as if Daichi would ever—
And at the same time his heart-rate spiked a little and he thought hmm, interesting, and felt deeply ashamed of himself.
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For Guidance, Please See the Corporate Interpersonal Relationship Policy by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Naruto
13 Aug 2019
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What Sasuke Uchiha wants is an indeterminate EC-02 Step 2 position with the Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation that offers a decent salary, health benefits, paid vacation, and a manager who won't break all his Excel spreadsheets. What he gets is Naruto Uzumaki, an improbably attractive and unbearably annoying co-op student who eats way too much instant ramen and doesn't understand that "casual Friday" doesn't mean varsity sweatpants.
Official CBC Canada Reads Selection 2019, made possible by the generous support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ottawa Tourism Board.
Series
- Part 1 of NCR Workplace Misconduct
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Interspecies Romance and Its Associated Perils by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Supernatural
30 Sep 2015
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“Okay, but,” says Dean, “okay, see, here’s the thing. We’ve been doing this, uh, this dating thing for a while, right? We’re pretty cool with each other? And—okay, not to pressure you or anything, but I’m just wondering why I’ve never… why you never take off your… why I’ve never seen your, you know. You know?”
Cas tilts his head a little further. Squints. Opens his mouth. Bites his lip.
“No,” he says finally. “I don’t know. Could you rephrase the question, please?”
And this is the problem with dating an angel.
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A Beginner's Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight
Fandoms: Supernatural
05 Nov 2013
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Maybe it's the little girl whose disappearance turned into a murder, and whose murder turned into a cold case, and who has now apparently decided to move in with him. Maybe it's the unacceptable hole left in his life when his dumb best friend and partner in (the prevention of) crime decided to go and get himself killed. Maybe it's his brother, whose high-profile career and fantastic girlfriend and first-child-on-the-way are steadily leaving Dean in the dust. Pick one. Pick all of them. The why doesn't matter so much as the what, and the what is this: Dean is pretty sure he's going completely, certifiably insane. Sure, he hasn't started wearing all his clothes inside out, and he still showers on a regular basis (anyways, that's not crazy, just a little eccentric); but there's no getting around the fact that he just threw away his life, his career, and his reputation by dragging out his mom's old necromancy book and summoning a Class A Forbidden Entity to his attic. A cranky one, too. With horrendous bed-head.
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They “make it official” on a Friday at Cas’s house, with Dean stammering and blushing his way through the stereotypical I-really-like-you-in-a-different-than-friends-way speech and Cas listening, terrifyingly impassive, right to the end, at which point he grabs Dean by the shoulders and kisses him.