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• Forty Days by wdoin33

  Fandoms: BIGBANG (Korea Band), Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P - Fandom  

  • Mature
  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • F/M
  • Complete Work

  25 Apr 2026

  Tags

  • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
  • You x TOP
  • Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P.
  • You
  • Fluff and Angst
  • Hurt/Comfort
  • Reunions
  • Slice of Life
  • Female Reader-Insert

  Summary

  The first time I realised it was more than just big brother feelings, I was twenty-four and he was sitting across from me at a table in a restaurant that was too loud for the conversation we were trying to have.

  He had just come back from one of the many things that took him away and returned him slightly different each time. He looked tired, like something had been taken from him in small increments over a long period and he hadn't noticed until just now, sitting across from me in this loud restaurant, finally still.

  He was telling me something. I wasn't listening properly because I was watching his hands move when he talked — the way they always moved, certain and unhurried — and something shifted in my chest. Quietly. Without permission.

  I filed it away. I was good at that.

  I had started calling him big brother years before that, back when the word felt true and clean and safe. It was a good word. It kept things in their correct places.

  Years passed. The feeling stayed where I had put it, mostly. I got good at mostly.

  And then came the forty days.

  And I understood finally that you cannot keep something contained when you are suddenly faced with losing it.

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  6,295

  Chapters:

  7/7

  Kudos:

  2

  Hits:

  70