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Mrs. Chen was a hard woman to truly rattle. She’d initially been shocked and frightened by Venom’s appearance, unable to speak as Eddie left the store as casually as if he hadn’t just turned into a nine foot tall monster and eaten the man who’d been extorting her for over a year, but the next time Eddie came into her store she fixed him with a hard stare.
“Eddie,” she said, “I want to have a conversation with you.”
“Uh, hey Mrs. Chen,” Eddie said nervously. She felt a little bit satisfied that he seemed nervous of her, when logically he shouldn’t have any reason to.
“Last time. What you did. I want an explanation,” she said, “You said ‘parasite’, but that was no tapeworm. So what was it? Demon possession?”
She knew a few people who might be able to perform an exorcism, if that was needed. Before she could suggest it, though, Eddie laughed a little bit.
“No. He’s an alien. And he’s not really a parasite, I just call him that to tease him,” Eddie actually smiled, “We’re… partners.”
“Partners,” she repeated flatly.
Eddie nodded.
The… alien rose up, making an oily blob hovering over Eddie’s shoulder, and as she looked at it, it formed a face like the monster from before. It was still terrifying to look at, but she wasn’t about to show it, any more than she had shown it any of the fifty-odd times that asshole had pointed a gun at her.
“Eddie is my host,” it said, in a voice that sounded like Eddie’s, but bass-boosted and run through a cheese grater, “We are perfectly suited to each other. I am proud to be his partner.”
The blob rubbed against Eddie’s cheek like an affectionate cat.
“And the eating people? Not that I’m not glad to be rid of him, but do you make a habit of that?”
“Eddie says that we can only eat bad people.”
Eddie gave her an apologetic smile, “He’s got to eat certain things to stay healthy. Might as well point him in a constructive direction, right?”
Mrs. Chen looked back at the alien, which looked strangely earnest for something with that many teeth. “It never happens in my store again. Got it?”
“Yes,” the alien said, “If someone threatens you, we will drag them outside to eat.”
Not exactly what she meant, but good enough.
“Alright,” she said, “Go get what you want.”
“Chocolate, Eddie! And tater tots!”
“Again, Vee?” Eddie asked, giving his alien… partner an affectionate look, “We’re going to get scurvy at this rate.”
The blob disappeared back into Eddie’s body, muttering something too low for her to catch, but which made Eddie laugh.
Mrs. Chen shrugged to herself. Eddie was a good boy, and she didn’t think his alien was all that bad, ether. She’d seen some weird shit in her life, she could deal with this.
~ ~ ~
Even the strangest things could become routine if they happened often enough. Eddie came in regularly, and would clean her out of chocolate bars and Hershey’s Kisses each time. If there was no one else in the store, Venom would appear to say hello, and they would help her harangue Eddie about taking care of himself. She was starting to really like the alien, all things considered.
So when Eddie came in while she was on the phone arguing with the exterminator, again, she barely paid them any attention.
“Don’t you hang up on me!” she yelled. There was a click on the other end of the line and she swore loudly, “He hung up on me.”
“Who were you arguing with?” Eddie asked, coming up to the counter with an armload of chocolate and a bag of oranges. After she had succeeded in explaining scurvy to Venom, the alien had gotten very concerned with Eddie’s vitamin intake.
“The exterminator,” she grumbled, “We’re supposed to have a contract where they come change the traps once every two weeks, but he hasn’t been here in a month.”
“He sounds like a bad person,” Venom said, rising from beneath the collar of Eddie’s shirt, “Do you want us to eat him?”
She was so annoyed she was tempted to say yes, but she shook her head, “No. I guess I’ll just have to find a different exterminator. That’s what I get for picking the cheapest option.”
“We could still eat him for you.”
“Eating things is your only solution to problems, isn’t it?” Eddie said, rolling his eyes.
“It’s a very effective solution.”
Mrs. Chen smiled as a thought occurred to her, “Actually… there is a way to solve this problem that involves eating things.”
Venom perked up, almost vibrating with excitement, “What?”
“If you ate the rats, I’d be grateful,” she said, “I’d pay you for it, too.”
“I don’t need money,” Venom said, “Pay Eddie instead.”
She looked at Eddie, who was watching their exchange with interest. He didn’t seem bothered by the idea of Venom eating rats. But then, why would he? Venom ate people. Rats were nothing compared to that.
“I can let you have your weekly supply of chocolate for free,” she offered, doing some math in her head. It would work out to about twenty dollars less per week than what she was paying the exterminator for his terrible service, and she had a feeling that Venom would be a lot more effective just about any exterminator. Like a cat, but with no litterbox required.
“Deal,” Eddie said, and reached across the counter to shake her hand.
As he held it out, the black goop that was Venom covered his hand like a glove. She didn’t flinch, but took his hand and shook it. She was making a deal with both of them, after all. From the way Venom looked, she would have expected the alien’s hand to feel slimy. Or maybe sticky, like tar. Instead, it felt like supple leather.
“Huh,” she said, letting go of Eddie’s hand, “Well, how do you want to do this?”
“If you want us to take care of it now, we should probably sit in the back room,” Eddie said, “We might freak out your customers if we stayed out here.”
“Alright,” she said with a nod.
She led them to the back room, more out of curiosity than anything else. Her nose wrinkled as she caught the smell of rat piss. She’d cleaned the back room thoroughly last night, and it already smelled again.
Eddie sat down on the floor in the middle of the room, pulled his phone from his pocket, and casually began to scroll through something on it.
“Eddiiiie~!” Venom whined, and something with a voice like that shouldn’t manage to sound that pathetic, “You aren’t going to pay attention?”
“I’ll keep count for you,” Eddie promised, and kissed the top of the blob’s head, “Go do your thing, love.”
Ah. That explained why Eddie had used the word partner.
The alien more or less exploded out of Eddie, black tendrils shooting all across the room like spider webs, reaching into every corner. From somewhere near the back door Mrs. Chen heard a squeak and some kind of slurping noise, and she shuddered.
“One,” Eddie said, not looking up from his phone.
She left them to it, and went back to the register, trying not to think of what was happening in the back room in too much detail. It wasn’t any worse than traps or poison, she knew that logically, but it was still gross on a visceral level. At least this way she wouldn’t have to touch any dead rats.
Eddie emerged from the back room about twenty minutes later, showing no sign whatsoever of what Venom had been doing back there. He waited politely while Mrs. Chen rang up another customer, and once she was done, he said, “We found thirteen of them.”
“Thank you,” she said, “That’ll make a big difference. Would you be willing to come back the same time next week?”
“Of course,” Eddie said with a smile that looked just a little bit too toothy. He took his bag of chocolate and headed for the door, “Goodnight, Mrs. Chen!”
It was still weird, but Eddie and his alien partner were good boys, in their way. And useful to have as friends.
She picked up the phone to call the exterminator back and tell him to not bother coming, she’d found a different solution. Then she would call her distributor, and double her order of chocolate bars.