Chapter Text
When Nami met Luffy, it was a whirlwind of impossible events, catastrophic close calls and a brief view of a life so free and so amazing, it couldn't possible be true. Then again, she learned that "impossible" didn't apply to Luffy. From the very first meeting, he'd already influenced her. There was hope in her heart now, no matter how small and insignificant it was. Yet, Nami was a shard of gruesome reality, a chained bird, the spark in her heart wasn't enough to burn past her terrible bindings. Thus, she knew she couldn't stay.
So, she looked at the uncaring swordsman following the boy that put hope in her heart and burned.
Burned with jealousy, it wasn't fair. This stupid green-haired moron had something she so desperately wanted to have and he didn't care, he didn't value it.
Burned with envy, it wasn't fair. What was special about him, why did he have such strength? Why did he have such freedom? To follow his dreams behind a boy who treasured them in his heart. Hadn't Nami suffered? Didn't she deserve strength and freedom? The strength and freedom that she would have so much more use for, as compared to the utterly unconcerned moss head?
Yet, all of these feelings were foolish. She knew Zoro wasn't technically at any fault, he wasn't the one who caused her to have a brutal life, but, what could she do. What could she do besides cursing his luck, his life, his attitude, her own life, the unfairness, deep in the vestiges of her heart. The arrival of Usopp the liar and Sanji the cook burned as well, but none as much as the first mates presence. After all, Usopp and Sanji were just as entranced with Luffy as her, while the marimo was the only indifferent unemotional fool. She knew he was only following along with the boy in the straw hat for now, the bastard would probably quit just as soon as his priorities changed.
It was all ridiculous, she didn't actually hate Zoro, she saw herself how he defended Luffy from Buggy, fought beside him against Kuro and his crew. Still, Nami couldn't stop her abused heart from feeling what it did even though she knew she was being unreasonable, even though she knew these were the feelings of envy consuming her heart. So, she tried instead only to savour moments with a newborn crew, flying a Jolly Roger with a straw hat, moments she would have to abandon.
And abandon she did, after all, she didn't have the freedom to be selfish.
But the spark remained, and it only grew stronger on her want, gaining traction with their arrival, the arrival of the straw hats to get her back. Get their navigator back.
To get their friend, Nami back.
Oh luffy.
At Arlong Park, she sobbed with years of pain crashing upon her shoulders, and the straw hat captain squashed his hat on her head, claiming her as his navigator permanently.
Then she sobbed with a plea, a request, "save me, please, Luffy",
and he replied, "sit tight Nami".
All the years of her pain and suffering, he took it from her and made it his own, saved her from her hellish life and she learned a great lesson, to never doubt Monkey D. Luffy.
With the weight of her chains off her back, Nami learned to see the world with new eyes, learned to forgive people, to understand the value of forgiveness and the destruction caused by mindless revenge. Learned a lot many more things and most importantly, learned to follow her heart.
Every day was free, their voyages full of adventure.
They all grew closer, in face of their challenges and ever coming adversaries. Stronger, stronger for their captain. Their amazing, idiotic, insufferable captain.
With time she learned, that she was wrong, wrong about the first mate. She let go of her unreasonable hate, and saw with a clear view, how the green-haired swordsman was far from indifferent from emotions, he was just different, different in expressing it. A calm opposite to their captains hyperactivity. She learned to understand his small but meaningful smiles which were a contrast to Luffy's wide grins, his brief smirks at luffy's antics showing endearment, his detached steel in protecting her and Usopp, showing his anger at those who might hurt his crew, his fire with Sanji tempering their weird competition of strength.
No, he was just as smitten with Luffy, as everyone else, just as attached to the crew as everyone else. In fact, with time she also learned, his true loyalty was absolute, she could only feel stupid at how she used to distrust him.
She could only now clearly see, that he was probably the one who was the most devoted to their captain. She realised that it wasn't indifference he was showing towards Luffy, it was complete and utter acceptance and trust. As far as he was concerned, he would do anything Luffy wanted without question. He was always there to do exactly what the captain wanted without an inch of doubt, from the very start, not once.
She began to trust him, undeniably. After all, as much as Luffy was their beacon of inspiration, their purpose and direction, Zoro was their staunch backbone. The whole crew knew it, needed them.
She couldn't exactly explain it, couldn't explain him and his devotion just as no one could explain Luffy's charisma.
Just a tad bit more straightforward, with a bluntness that equaled Luffy's. Along with deadly determination and strength, projected by his ridiculously terrifying persona and sharp collection of blades. She also learned he was a soft sap at heart for all of them and not nearly as terrifying as he looked.
She knew he was perceptive, he picked up on details, and he knew that she once harboured a grudge against him, she was sure of it. As crazy as it sounded, he had known Nami would leave when she first joined the crew.
She asked him once, "Why not question him? Why do you accept every single decision of his without complaint?",
he lazily replied, "What do you mean? I agreed for him to be my captain didn't I? I'll follow his will and fight to protect it."
She smiled and continued, "If its dangerous? If it hurts him or us, unintentionally maybe?"
"He can take care of things, I've never doubted his strength, and if he isn't there, I'll be there. To fight in his stead as long as necessary".
She had looked in his eyes and continued to smile, she couldn't help but think that their most ridiculous adventure hungry captain had a perfectly as ridiculous devoted follower who made his captains will utterly and completely his own. He didn't care what consequences Luffy's actions would have, because he trusted in Luffy to always do what he believed in.
When they arrived at the Grand Line, their first island led them into a conniving trap, which was thwarted pretty easily considering Zoro had slaughtered most of their ill-wishers while the crew slept. Yet, the most unsettling part of Whiskey Peak was the fight between captain and first mate. Of course, it was resolved pretty easily, but still. It was jarring. Though, at later contemplation, she figured they both trusted each other, which was why Luffy's punches didn't destroy Zoro's ribs and Zoro's swords didn't cut Luffy's skin. Both of the morons had jumped into the situation headfirst and sorted it later. No harm done anyway, she trusted them both deep in her heart. They all did.
Little Garden was the first time she witnessed Zoro's open devotion.
Thank god Luffy arrived in time, because Zoro really was going to cut his legs off. To save the crew, to continue their journey, if feet were the price, so be it. The crazy moron wouldn't even have regretted it, ever. Probably would have jumped right back into training.
She could always see, his urge to improve, his constant pursuit of strength. To get stronger and stronger and stronger, to be the best swordsman. Though somewhere along the line, it turned more into stronger and stronger and stronger, for the crew, to protect.
Their journey continued, joined by a wonderful doctor Chopper in the aftermath of her near death experience.
Alabasta was a taste of the power wielded by a warlord of the sea, which Luffy took down, just like he did everything else in his path. Followed closely by Zoro cleaning up with the riffraff that the captain couldn't bother with. Cutting through with determination, to a new level of strength. Which incidentally also involved his own nearly diced state. Exactly the same as his moronic captain. They both always did go all out. None of the others liked it, but it was a price of their voyage, necessary events to keep growing stronger. These challenges had to be undertaken. Nami wished for it to be different at times, wanted them to be safe and unhurt. Wanted them to stop carrying the mantle of their strength, but who was she kidding, they'd all be dead twice over without their protection. Except Sanji, so as long as his opponents were men.
The aftermath of the struggle left them with a new crew member, a different crew member, someone who asked to join, a dangerous woman, who almost caused all of them to die. Nami had looked at Zoro after the captains announcement, he didn't trust her. Yet, if thats his will so be it, his eyes had replied, hard as steel.
She and Sanji noticed how he didn't stop clutching Wado until after Skypiea.
The encounter with Aokiji had left both Luffy and Zoro reeling. Luffy at his first absolute failure and Zoro with the desperation of failing his captain and consequently, the crew. Both of them affected more than anyone else except Robin, who had only just recently begun to feel permanent, and familiar.
Water 7 was another blow to an already struggling Luffy. Merry's situation had made everyone desperate and Usopp's departure destroyed for the first time, in their memory, the captain's unfaltering courage. It was then that Zoro had stepped up. Carrying the entire weight of the crew, making the captain believe in himself again.
When the crew was searching for answers, to get back at Robin for a reply, he was the one who kept the crew together.
"If she's a friend then I'll be ready to forgive but if not, then I'll be prepared for the consequences."
I won't let the crew splinter any more, we'll pull through this, I'll make sure what has happened will never happen again. That was what he meant, and Nami could take relief in his continued solidity. Depending upon him for support as their bonds stretched and suffered. They all continued, fighting against all odds, ending up at Enies Lobby and back again, losing a ship, gaining a shipwright. Regaining their Robin.
Water 7 was also the second place for a quarrel between their first mate and the captain. This time terribly real.
"You're a captain, act like it. If he doesn't learn to respect you then you have to cut him loose. Act like real pirates. If you don't, I'll be the one leaving." He spoke, eyes as hard as steel.
It had seemed excessively harsh, on their recovering captain, but she was wrong yet again. Their captain needed that, more than easygoing relief, he needed harsh support, dependable honesty, a continued promise of I'll-fight-against-the-world-for-you, as long as you remain true to yourself. The captain needed it to forge on his difficult path, as relentlessly as before.
Nami realised the real context of Zoro's words, later,
I won't stand for this, I won't let anyone bring you down again, won't let anyone break you again. Not even other crew members.
It worked out in the end, their staunch bonds pulled back together again, surer than before and their green-haired swordsman went back to napping again.
Thriller Bark had come and brought with it a calamity like never before. Kuma, and then Zoro at the brink of death. She remembered Sanji bringing in the bloody lump of his body. Luffy hadn't said anything, his eyes hidden under his hat as he stood motionless till Chopper declared him in stable condition. Following which, the iron resolve in his eyes had yet again strengthened. She knew what he was thinking, it was another failure for him, another incident that made him work harder to gain strength. Zoro had pushed Luffy to greater heights even as he lay comatose. Later, she had wondered. Luffy had been surprisingly injury-free on awakening. Zoro had been mostly dead. She beat the answer out of Sanji.
"He took all of Luffy's injuries, after begging him to take his head instead of Luffy's or anyone else's, from the crew. When I found him he was standing like a statue made ,of blood and all he said was that nothing happened", Sanji had muttered, before walking off to cook. For once, being restrained.
Nami wondered when it had changed for him, when Zoro's dream changed first priorities from becoming greatest swordsman to protecting his captain, more important than anything else.
She had looked at their happy captain and felt crushing guilt. He would want to know, he deserved to know, but, she looked at Zoro, sitting inconspicuously at the same spot under the sun, on the grass of their deck, and stifled the urge to tell him. After all the first mate had done and gone through for the captain, the least she could do was keep his secret for him to protect Luffy from the guilt.
Alas things got worse before they got better, Sabaody was a collection of hideous memories, of their captain screaming Zoro's name with such desperation, such that she never saw before, and at that time, there was no staunch first mate they could fall back upon while their captain was a wreck. No first mate to console the captain. The first mate was a crumpled heap of dead weight who soon disappeared, into thin air, followed by everyone else.
The challenges they had faced in the latter half of the grand line showed the crew that there was still a lot they couldn't overcome, especially with the news of Marineford. Yet at least, they all knew in their hearts, it was not the end, they would build themselves back from the ground, if need be, for their captain. The captain that they all failed.
As she had regretfully read the paper, she couldn't help but wonder at his situation, the green-haired swordsman, the first mate of the future pirate king.
Two years flew by.
When they all came back together, all of them were different, from what they used to be. As the swordsman stepped onto the Sunny, half a step behind their captain, his power thrummed through his sharp movements like never before. His singular eye had blazed with the hunger to consume.
The moment the first mate was back in his position, beside the captain, on the sunny, alongside the crew, his change in demeanour was downright terrible and yet the most beautiful thing she could ever feel. Zoro had never been unnecessarily cruel but still, Nami was afraid, like everyone else, not from him, or for him, yet such devotion as the one he carried was capable of tearing down the world, right beside their equally terrible captain. Well, she supposed, as everyone caught their breaths due to the demon, it was just as good that they were pirates. They weren't supposed to be good people anyway, the monsters on their crew could rampage all they want, especially Zoro, she mused, better to let all that goddamned and beautiful bloodthirstiness out. Those who would be foolish enough to attack them now, to hurt their captain now, could die under the cursed blade of a demonic hand.