Chapter Text
“Cassandra! I thought I'd find you here.”
Cassandra looked up from the task of sharpening her sword to where her father, the Captain of the Royal Guard, stood in the doorway of her rooms. The expression on his face was serious, as usual, but Cassandra could see a warmth in his eyes that was reserved for her and her alone, and always had been.“ Hey, Dad,” She smiled and put down her whetstone before rising to greet her father with a kiss on the cheek, “what's up?”
“How did you know-”
“You wouldn't have left your post to come and see me if you didn't have something important to tell me,” Cassandra had to chuckle at her father's discomfort at being read so easily, “so, what's up?”
The Captain sighed.“ It's about the Day of Hearts Ball.”
“Eugh, thank the Gods I have the night-watch this week, so I won't be forced to att-” Cassandra stopped at the sheepish look that had appeared on her father's face. When he took off his helmet and passed it nervously between his hands, a sense of dread began to wash over her.
“Er, the thing is...I've been asked to provide security for the visiting royalty and... I’m going to need you there, Cassandra.”
“No!” Cassandra groaned, closing her eyes and rubbing at her temples. “You know how much I hate babysitting duty, Dad!”
“I know, I know, and if you hadn't been a special request I wouldn't even be here right now. But as it is, Queen Elsa has insisted on having a female guard – something to do with being distrustful of men after recent events...” The Captain shrugged his shoulders
“Did...did you say, 'Queen Elsa'...?” Cassandra stammered, heart beating a tattoo in her chest. It seemed so hard and loud that she was sure her father could hear it from where he stood.
“Yes...Cassandra, are you okay?”
Cassandra was far from okay, but there was no way she was about to let her dad know that she wasn't. Gathering herself as best she could, she turned away and began to pick up her weapons, each now sharp enough to cut through iron. “I'm fine...I'll come down to the guard's quarters shortly and discuss the situation further.”
“Right, well...” The Captain could sense there was something wrong but since neither he nor his daughter were the touchy-feely type, he decided he would retreat on this occasion and wait for things to unfold naturally. “I'll see you soon, Cassandra.” He turned and left, the sound of his heavy boots getting quieter until Cassandra could no longer hear them. After a moment she closed her door on the rest of the palace and turned to lean against it, sighing deeply. She ran a hand through her short hair, trying to shake off the effect hearing that name had had on her. She felt as though she had been doused with cold water and the shock hadn't quite worn off.
She pushed herself off the door and made her way over to her bed, which was made with the precision of a lifelong soldier; the corners tucked in tight and the lines crisp. She sat on the edge and leant down to pull an old wooden box from underneath the bed. She placed it on her lap and blew at the dust that had settled upon the lid in the years since she'd last laid her hands upon it.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the box and gazed upon the contents, trying hard not to let the memories contained within overwhelm her. Slowly, she picked through the sentimental possessions; the tiny doll she'd brought with her from her first home, the wooden horse the Captain had made for her not long after her adoption and most recently, the friendship bracelet that Rapunzel had given to her when they became friends. She dug through all of these, pushing each one aside until she had reached the bottom of the box where a single, white velvet glove lay neatly folded, looking odd amongst the other treasures.
Gently, Cassandra picked up the glove and pushed the box aside. She held the glove in her hands, running her thumbs over the soft material, still intact and pleasant to touch after all these years. It had been so many years.
So, she thought to herself, you're finally coming back?
Nineteen years earlier...
“That'll do, Cassandra, I think we've practised enough for today.”
“But Dad! How will I ever become the Captain of the Guard if I don't practice!” Cassandra whined, swinging her wooden sword in an arc above her head and slamming the tip into the dirt between them.
The Captain chuckled and ruffled his daughter's hair with his great big hand. “You're only seven years old, little one, there's plenty of time to practice between now and when I retire!” Cassandra pouted as only a child could which prompted the Captain to sweep her up and swing her around until she was giggling, pout well and truly forgotten. Eventually he set her down again and knelt so that they were eye to eye.
“One day you're going to be the best soldier this kingdom has ever seen,” He smiled softly, Cassandra's earnest expression tugging hard at his heartstrings, “and lots of practice will get you there...but you have to balance all that hard work with some play...understand?” Cassandra shook her head and he sighed with amusement. “You need to go have some fun, find some other kids to play with, do what...children do!”
“...what do children do?” Cassandra asked seriously.
“Ha! You'll figure it out, I'm sure.” He kissed Cassandra on the forehead, his ticklish moustache causing her to squirm and giggle. “Now I have to go and prepare for some very special palace guests! If you need anything you just go and speak to Berta, she'll sort you out.” Thank god for Berta, the Head-Maid of the palace, who took care of Cassandra's needs whenever the Captain had his duties to attend to.
“Okay, Dad!” Cassandra stood and gave a sloppy salute, which the Captain returned, albeit less sloppily. It had been their thing ever since the Captain had taken Cassandra into his home and had become something of a tradition whenever they were parting ways.
Cassandra began swinging her sword again as soon as the Captain had clomped away, her promise to find some other children to play with forgotten. Eventually, her stomach began to rumble with hunger, signalling an end to her swordplay and the beginning of a quest to find Berta.
Cassandra meandered through the many hallways of the palace, heading for the kitchens. On her way she passed by the portraits of the Kings and Queens of Corona, barely giving any of them a glance, having seen them almost every day since she'd come to live with the Captain. She could already smell the delicious smells coming from the kitchens and she quickened her pace, her stomach growling fiercely as though she'd swallowed an angry wolf.
She was so lost in her hunger that she didn't hear the unfamiliar voices coming from around the corner ahead, not until she swung around it in a dash and crashed directly into the two young girls who were also running from the other direction.
“Wha-!”
“Whoa!”
“Ouch!”
The three girls simultaneously fell to the floor, each of them rubbing at the spot on their heads where they'd collided. Cassandra could swear there was a lump the size of an apple forming on her forehead, and she sent an icy glare in the direction of the cause. Two surprised-looking girls stared back at her before they turned to each other and both dissolved into a fit of giggles. Cassandra eyed them with suspicion, certain they were laughing at her.
“What's so funny?” She scowled.
“I dunno!” The smaller one with fiery-red hair exclaimed through her giggles.
“We can't stop laughing!” The other one cried out. She looked about Cassandra's age, but unlike Cassandra with her wavy, black hair, her hair was almost white and neatly tied into a bun.
“Well,” Cassandra stood quickly and patted down her tunic, “you better get out of here cause' kids aren't allowed in the palace.” She strode past the girls, intending to leave with dignity and never think about them again.
“But...you're here?”
“Yeah but I live here!” Cassandra called back without pausing her stride.
“Oh! Are you the princess of this palace?!”
Cassandra stopped and sighed before swinging around to face the girls again. They'd gotten to their feet and were patting down their dresses, which Cassandra now noticed were quite fancy for a couple of random kids.“ No, I'm not a princess,” she explained, rolling her eyes at Red-hair who had a look of awe plastered on her face. “I'm the Captain's daughter and I'm going to be a soldier one day!” She punctuated her declaration by pulling her wooden sword from the sheath on her belt and holding it up in the most heroic pose she knew.
“Wow! Is that real?!”
White-hair rushed over in excitement to look closely at the sword and Cassandra lowered it, feeling a sense of pride as the girl reached out to touch the well-crafted toy. Red-hair followed, eyes lighting up just like her friend's.“ No, but it will be some day!” She beamed, stepping back and swinging the sword just as her father had taught her.
Her form wasn't perfect yet, but the way the girls’ ooh-ed and ahh-ed made her feel like she was already up there with the great heroes she heard about in the stories her dad told her every night before bed. After a moment she slid her sword back into its sheath and awkwardly stuck out her hand as she'd seen her father do many times with friends. “I'm Cassandra, but you can call me Cassie.”
“Oh! I'm Princess Elsa,” White-hair replied, grasping Cassandra's fingers oddly and curtsying quickly, “And this is my sister, Princess Anna.”
Red-hair stepped forward and did the same grab-and-dip, though much less gracefully than her sister. Cassandra hadn't noticed, however, as she was staring at Elsa with wide eyes. “You're princesses?!”
“Yeah! We're from Arendelle but we're staying here for the winter. Mum says its much warmer here in Aunt Arianna's kingdom.” Elsa explained.
“Oh...then I guess you are allowed in the palace...” Cassandra muttered. She scuffed at the floor with the toe of her boot, unsure what to do next.
“Hey! Do you wanna play with us?” Anna piped up, breaking the awkward silence.
“Play?” Cassandra frowned in confusion.
“Yeah! You could be the hero with your sword, and we'll be the princesses you come to save!” Elsa clapped her hands together and jumped up and down with excitement.
“I wanna be the evil monster who keeps Princess Elsa in the dungeon!” Anna held up her hands like claws and growled before breaking out into another giggle.
Cassandra looked at the princesses, both grinning at her with enthusiasm, and felt a sudden and strange warmth within her.
“Yeah....I'd like that!”
Present Day...
“Cass!”
Cassandra threw the glove into her box of memories and jammed it back under her bed as fast as was humanly possible and then jumped up just in time to greet Rapunzel at the door.
“Hey!” She said, her voice coming out strangled.
“There you are, Ca-...why do you look so guilty?” Rapunzel's eyes darted around Cassandra's room with suspicion.
“What? Raps, I don't look-”
“Do you have someone here, huh? Did I just interrupt some-”
“Raps!” Cassandra cut the Princess off, her cheeks starting to pink at what Rapunzel's lascivious tone was suggesting. “I'm not hiding anything! Or anyone, okay? I was just...” Cassandra glanced around quickly for inspiration, “Uh...looking for my whetstone!” She grabbed it from the shelf where she'd put it earlier and held it aloft. “Here it is!” She smiled her widest smile, hoping Rapunzel wouldn't see right through her and her terrible attempt at lying.
“O... kay?” Rapunzel said slowly, eyebrow raised, still very suspicious.
“What did you need, anyway?” Cassandra asked quickly.
“Oh, yeah! I came to ask you something about the Ball...” Rapunzel drifted off, her voice taking on an air of innocence.
Cassandra frowned, feeling suspicious herself now. She'd already had one shock concerning the Ball this afternoon, she wasn't sure she could handle another one.“ What about it...?” She asked cautiously.
“I was just wondering...” Rapunzel started, drifting around Cassandra's room on her bare feet, “if you might...possibly...maybe...hopefully...be taking someone? To the Ball? The Day of Hearts Ball?”
She was getting more and more excited as each word left her mouth and Cassandra could almost feel the unbridled exuberance bubbling just below the surface of Rapunzel's shaky restraint. She shook her head with a small smile. Rapunzel's enthusiasm had always been infectious. “No, Raps, I'm not taking anyone to the Ball. I wasn't even planning on going until-”
“What about Elena? I thought you might want to-”
“Elena?” Cassandra's brow creased, “Raps, I haven't spoken to Elena since our last date which was...er...two weeks ago.”
“Aww, I thought you two had really hit it off...” Rapunzel pouted, looking deflated.
“We did but then...I don't know, Raps, it just didn't feel right, you know?” Cassandra walked over to her window, which boasted an amazing view of the Palace grounds, and stared out at the world. Rapunzel followed her, sensing a sudden downward shift in Cassandra's mood.
“What's wrong, Cass?” She asked, laying her hand gently on Cassandra's shoulder.
“Nothing...” Cassandra murmured, eyes following a blackbird as it soared over the trees below and fluttered to a stop in a well-built nest. “I just...” She closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts into coherent words. How could talking about her feelings feel so much harder than anything else she'd ever done? She turned to meet Rapunzel's worried gaze. “...sometimes I look at you and Eugene...and I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you and I... I wonder what it's like. To feel that way. You know?”
“Oh Cass,” Rapunzel grasped Cassandra's hands in hers, “I had no idea you felt that way!”
Cassandra could feel an extreme heat in her cheeks, her embarrassment heavily exacerbated by the moist sheen in Rapunzel's eyes. She pulled her hands away quickly, ready for this emotional conversation to be over and done with. “Anyway, I didn't feel anything like that with Elena so...” She shrugged, hoping to end it there.
“Aww, Cass...” Before she could protest, Rapunzel was enveloping Cassandra in the squeeziest bear hug she had ever received. After a moment she returned the hug, albeit with a little less force than her smaller counterpart.
“I swear one day you're gonna find what Eugene and I have and it’s gonna be the BEST day EVER!” Cassandra smiled at Rapunzel's obvious belief, but inside she wondered if it was true.
Maybe I've already missed my chance.
16 years ago...
“Are they here yet?!” Cassandra stood on her tippy-toes and hopped at the window, trying to get a good look at the courtyard where Elsa and Anna would be arriving any minute. She'd grown a couple of inches in the three years that had passed since she'd first met the princesses, but not enough for her to quite see over the windowsill yet. Her father chuckled to himself at her impatience.
“Not yet, but they should be here in the next...wait, here they come!” The Captain headed for the main doors, Cassandra hot on his heels, excited to spend another long winter with the Arendelle sisters.
“Cassie!” Anna was the first to jump down from the Royal carriage and bound over to where Cassandra was waiting with her father.
“Anna! You're here!” Cassandra had to hold Anna by the shoulders to keep her still. She was practically vibrating with excitement. “Hey, where's Elsa?” Cassandra craned her neck, trying to look beyond Anna's bobbing head. She didn't understand why, but she had a strange need to see the other princess. She felt as though butterflies were flapping around in her ribcage and somehow, seeing Elsa finally would make them stop.
“She's coming! Did you miss us? I've been waiting all year for this!” Anna jumped up and down along with her words, making it even more difficult for Cassandra to see Elsa.
“Of course I did, Anna...” There she was! Cassandra watched as Elsa exited the carriage, her father's hand helping her step daintily down to the ground. Immediately Cassandra could tell there was something different about her, something strange. She looked like she'd been scolded. She walked with her head lowered and her hands, which were encased in a pair of snow-white gloves, were clasped together at her stomach,
Suddenly, Elsa looked her way, as if she could sense Cassandra's eyes on her. For a second, she smiled, and the fluttering in Cassandra's chest intensified. Then Elsa was turning away, and the moment had passed. She followed her mother and father into the palace where the King and Queen of Corona were waiting to greet them.
Cassandra felt a sudden sense of loss as she watched them go, barely noticing Anna as she tugged incessantly at her sleeve.
“Cassie! Lets go play!”
“Okay, okay!” Cassandra finally focused her attention on Anna and smiled. “What should we play first, huh?”
“Elsa! Are you in there?” Cassandra pressed her ear up against the door of Elsa and Anna's bedroom, listening hard for any sign of movement. After hearing nothing for several moments, she knocked gently and called out again. “Elsa?”
Cassandra had spent most of the day with Anna, getting into all kinds of mischief around the palace and being general nuisances to all the staff and guards. Cassandra really had missed the fiery-haired little princess over the summer. Anna was a joy to be around and Cassandra could proudly call her her best friend. Despite that, she had felt Elsa's absence keenly, and couldn't help but wonder where she was and why she wasn't there with them. Attempts to interrogate Anna had fallen flat, the young princess more interested stealing chocolate from the kitchens than talking about her sister.
Unable to contain her curiosity or her worry, Cassandra had sought out Elsa as soon as she'd gotten the chance. And now here she was, certain Elsa was on the other side of this door but also feeling a little foolish in case she wasn't. Her embarrassment eventually got the better of her and she began to walk away. If Elsa was in there, she obviously didn't want to see her. She was almost at the end of the hallway when she heard the click of the bedroom door being opened.
“Cassie?”
Cassandra spun around at the sound of Elsa's voice, heart leaping into her throat. “Elsa!” She ran back down the hallway, skidding to a stop in front of the door that Elsa was now peeking out from. She looked afraid, and Cassandra's natural urge to protect the people she cared about came rushing to the fore. “What's wrong?” Her hand went instinctively to her hip where her wooden sword was, ready to fight.
“Nothing,” Elsa smiled softly, “I just haven't been...feeling very well. For a while.”
“Oh...” Cassandra felt the fight leave her body, instantly replaced by worry. Elsa was sick? “Does that mean you can't come and play...?” She asked, dreading the answer.
“Yeah...” Elsa looked away. “It's not safe anymore...”
“Safe? Will I catch it?” Cassandra slid one foot backwards in retreat, vividly remembering the time her father had caught a sick bug and then passed it on to her. She'd vomited at least fifty thousand times that day and was loathe to repeat the experience.
“No! It's not...it doesn't matter, I just can't play anymore, okay?” Elsa made to shut the door, but Cassandra stopped it with her foot.
“Wait! Can we talk, at least? Nothing bad can happen if we just talk, right?” She was almost pleading at this point. Something inside her screamed at her to push forward, or else lose this friendship forever.
“Um...maybe?” Elsa still looked a little unsure, but Cassandra could see a bit of hope in her expression too.
“Can I come in? Please? You can tell me all about your summer, and I'll tell you all about mine!”
For a second Elsa looked down at her hands, which Cassandra noticed were still gloved. Weird. Was Elsa cold? Was that part of her sickness? After a moment Elsa opened the door fully and stepped back to allow Cassandra entry.
“I'd like that, Cassie.”
Present Day...
“The assignment is to protect Queen Elsa at all costs. She and Princess Anna will be arriving the day of the Ball. Unfortunately, as the only woman on the guard, you'll have to give her twenty-four-hour protection-”
“That's impossible, I'll have to sleep!” Cassandra pointed out. The Captain nodded.
“A room with an attached maid's quarters has been chosen for her so that you can sleep nearby when she sleeps. You'll also take meals with her and accompany her on any outings she requires or desires.” The Captain paused to look down at the notes on his desk.
“Wait! Meals? Outings? How long is she going to be staying in Corona?” Cassandra asked, heart pumping.
“Ah...two weeks.” The Captain replied.
“Two weeks?!” Cassandra's voice sounded strangled and she had to fake coughing when her father looked up at her with a raised eyebrow. “I mean...that's a long time to be on babysitting duty, Dad!”
“I know, Cassandra, but my hands are tied! The King has insisted that we make a show of the strength and hospitality of Corona and that includes providing protection for our royal guests.”
“Doesn't the Queen have magic powers? Surely she can-”
“Is this going to be a problem, Soldier?” The Captain cut her off, his voice stern.
Cassandra's protests died on her tongue. She cleared her throat and composed herself, suddenly aware that she'd gotten awful close to whining about her assignment. She straightened her posture and clasped her hands behind her back.
“No, there's no problem, Sir.” She answered.
“Good. Now I understand that this isn't exactly a premium duty so you can have the next few days on leave. Get yourself prepared and so on.”
“Yes, Sir!” Cassandra gave a clean salute, turned on her heel and marched towards the door.
“And Cassandra?”
Cassandra paused with her hand on the doorknob. “Yes, Sir?”
“I'll see you at dinner, yes?” The Captain's voice was softer now. It was the voice of her father, not her commander.
Cassandra turned and gave him a smile. “Yes, Dad.”
It was the day before the Ball and preparations were well underway to get the grand hall ready for the coming festivities. Cassandra had been roped in by a very excited Rapunzel to help decorate. Eugene and Lance had also been enlisted but seemed to be trying their best to do as little as possible. Cassandra shot dirty looks in their direction every time she heard them giggling instead of stringing up lanterns, as she was doing. Rapunzel was no help, consumed as she was by the task of making the hall look perfect.
“Raps, don't you think this is a few too many lights?” Cassandra gestured at the expanse of the hall, now brightly lit by at least two-hundred pink lanterns.
“Too many?” Rapunzel repeated, sounding confused. She sat on the floor, almost buried by the mountain of crepe paper she had been using to make the lanterns. She almost looked like a mad-woman, snipping away furiously, the offcuts getting tangled up in her impossibly long hair that had pooled around her. It was chaos.
“Okay, I think that's enough crafting for you, Princess.” Cassandra plucked the scissors out of Rapunzel's hand, almost losing a finger in the process. “We need a break.”
“A break? We'd love one!” Eugene was suddenly at Cassandra's side; Lance close behind him.
“Oh no,” Cassandra glared at the two men, “You two will be staying and cleaning up this mess, got it?”
“But-” Lance started, but Cassandra's expression was fierce enough to send shivers up his spine and he wisely decided to close his mouth and accept defeat.
“Come on, Raps,” Cassandra pulled Rapunzel up by her hand and walked with her out of the grand hall, ignoring Eugene and Lance's disgruntled muttering behind them. Once out in the hallway, she directed them towards the courtyard, unexpectedly feeling the need for some fresh spring air. The daunting prospect of spending the next two weeks with Queen Elsa weighed heavy on her mind, and it took every ounce of her self-control not to let it show. Luckily, she could sense that Rapunzel was also feeling out of sorts today and hoped whatever problem the Princess was having would distract her from her own thoughts for a while.
“Hey, Raps? Wanna tell me what's going on?” No point in beating around the bush.
“Huh? What? There's nothing going on! Does it seem like I have something going on? Because if I did have something going on, I'm sure I would be acting completely normal and not suspicious and nobody would know! Right?!” Rapunzel was flailing her arms wildly and Cassandra had to grasp her by the shoulders to bring her back to reality.
“Raps! Just tell me what's wrong! You're freaking me out!”
“I'mgoingtoproposetoEugeneattheBall!” Rapunzel suddenly blurted. She clapped a hand over her mouth immediately, eyes wide with shock. But it was too late, her secret was out.
Cassandra stepped back in surprise. “Wow, really? That's...big!”
“I know!” Rapunzel threw her hands up, unable to keep herself still. “And I've been holding onto that secret for ages! You don't understand how hard it's been!” The relief pouring off Rapunzel was almost tangible.
“Is that why you've been so crazy these last couple of weeks?” Cassandra asked, feeling a little bit amused by Rapunzel's volcano-like eruption.
“Yeah, I just...you know how bad I am at lying, Cass, and Eugene knows I'm hiding something, so he hasn't made it easy. Eugh, I feel like I'm going to explode!”
“Okay, okay, lets just calm down for a second...” Cass said soothingly. She sat on a low wall and gestured for Rapunzel to join her.
Rapunzel sat beside her and sighed loudly. After a moment of silence she turned to Cassandra. “He'll say yes, won't he?”
Cassandra was shocked by the uncertainty in Rapunzel's voice. “Are you serious? Of course he'll say yes! As long as I've known Eugene – which is way too long – his biggest dream has been to marry and spend the rest of his life with you. You've got nothing to worry about, Raps.”
“You're right, you're right...” Rapunzel replied, though she was wringing her hands into knots at the same time. “Anyway! A little bird told me that you are going to be at the Ball after all!”
Cassandra grimaced. “Was the little bird Eugene?”
“Of course it was Eugene!” Eugene himself came sauntering towards them. “You don't spend all that time teaching soldiers how to catch thieves without hearing all the Palace gossip.” He grinned before leaning down to kiss Rapunzel tenderly on the forehead. “Are you okay, Blondie?”
“Yes! I'm fine! Of course I'm fine! Don't I look fine?!” The extremely toothy fake smile plastered across Rapunzel's face was positively demonic. “Anyway, we were just talking about Cassandra's assignment and nothing else! Haha!”
“Right...” Eugene replied, but he was clearly suspicious.
Cassandra could almost feel the awkward tension around them, it was so thick. She made the decision to fall upon her sword for Rapunzel. “Yeah, I was just asking about Queen Elsa...for research...”
“Ah, Queen Elsa.” Eugene nodded, sagely. “Lovely woman if you like the cold. You know, because of the icy powers and all that. You go to one coronation and suddenly you're trapped in a blizzard, freezing your toes off!”
“Eugene, it wasn't that bad! We spent the whole time warm and toasty inside the castle.” Rapunzel admonished.
“Yeah, well, my toes haven't been the same since. I swear I got frostbite!”
“Elsa apologised profusely when she came back. It was all a big misunderstanding. I'm glad she and Anna are coming to visit, finally. Mom says she hasn't seen them since Aunt Iduna and Uncle Adnarr were lost at sea.”
Cassandra listened to all this in silence, now lost in her own thoughts. The last time she'd seen the sisters had also been just before their parents had set off on that fateful voyage. Memories she'd hoped to forget came unbidden to her mind, clear as crystal despite their age. Rapunzel and Eugene's voices faded into murmurs as the thoughts and feelings of the past bubbled up inside her chest and she had to work hard to make sure the whirlwind inside her wasn't showing on the outside. She hadn't even seen Elsa yet and already she was a certified mess of emotion.
Will I ever feel normal again? She wondered.
Six years earlier...
Cassandra watched from her bedroom window as the royal family of Arendelle exited their carriage. First Anna and the Queen, then the King and Elsa. She focused her gaze on Elsa, taking in every detail of her appearance, looking for things that were new and finding relief in the things that were still the same. Her hair still shone like the brightest star in the night sky and her eyes were still the most vibrant blue she'd ever seen. She was taller than Cassandra could remember, though, and looked as if she might even be taller than Cassandra now. Only by a smidge.
Cassandra felt her heart thump as the family moved towards the castle as one. She itched to go down and greet Elsa right away, but now that the princesses were older it was expected that they would spend some time with the royal adults. Talking about...whatever it was Royal Families talk about. Cassandra sighed as Elsa's white-blonde head disappeared inside the Palace.
The long summers apart had taught her to be patient over the years, but now that Elsa was so close Cassandra was dying to see her. She could feel a building excitement in the pit of her stomach at the thought of hearing Elsa's voice again. She couldn't wait to tell the Princess all about her acceptance into Guard Bootcamp at the beginning of the summer. Her father had finally allowed it on her seventeenth birthday and Cassandra had taken full advantage, training as hard as she could and flying through the obligatory obstacle course just as autumn began.
She fondly remembered talking to Elsa at length about her dream to one day become Captain of the Royal Guard and Elsa had always been so excited for her. She'd often come to Elsa's room – which she no longer shared with her sister – after a rigorous training session to find the Princess had been watching her from her bedroom window. Cassandra would feel extremely buoyed by Elsa's many compliments about the grace in which she moved through her sword-wielding forms, spoken in that quiet, unassuming way Elsa had of speaking. Cassandra had missed her voice terribly.
Feeling restless, she made the split-second decision to distract herself with a bout of training. As she moved around her room, gathering up her equipment, she paused to check her appearance in the mirror. She ran a hand through her hair, trying her best to tidy it up a little. When Elsa was finished with the adults, she might just find Cassandra mid-exercise. She briefly considered donning her golden armour, wondering if Elsa might find her even more impressive that way. But she shook her head, her cheeks starting to redden a little. She was overthinking things. She hurried out to the courtyard before she could think any further.
“Ha! Dead again, Pete!” Cassandra smirked down at her quarry who lay on his back in the dirt, Cassandra's blade touching his chest. He scowled at her in return.
“This isn't fair, you always win!”
“That's because I'm always better.” Cassandra chuckled, sheathing her sword and offering a hand to her fallen comrade. Pete took it despite his frustration at having spent most of their match on his back.
“Well, I'm gonna beat you this time!” He promised, readying himself for another round. Cassandra glanced up at the Palace, eyes scanning the windows of Elsa's room for a glimpse of the Princess herself. She caught a flash of white hair glinting in the setting sun and smiled to herself. Elsa was waiting for her.
“No can do, Pete, I have to go.” He asked.
“Go? Go where?” He asked, dropping his guard.
“To see a friend.” Cassandra replied distractedly, her mind already on seeing Elsa.
“Oh, a friend, huh?” Pete grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Cassandra glared at him. “Yes, a friend.” She insisted, but she could see he wasn't convinced.
“Uh huh. Hey everyone!” Pete had cupped his hands around his mouth and had turned towards the benches where a small group of soldiers had gathered to socialise between bouts of training. “Cassandra's got a-oof!” Before Pete could finish his words, Cassandra had swept his legs from under him with a low and sweeping kick, and once again he was on his back. She spun and walked away in the wake of his protests, grinning with amusement and secretly hoping Elsa had seen what she'd done.
She hurried upstairs, dumping her stuff in her room before rushing up to the highest floor of the palace where the royal rooms were. As she neared Elsa's her heart began to thud and she slowed her pace, suddenly feeling the need to catch her breath. She came to a stop at Elsa's door and took a deep and calming breath. She lifted her hand to knock and... froze. She didn't know why, but she felt terrified suddenly. She bit her lip, wondering where the sudden onslaught of emotion had come from.
Elsa was her best friend. They had spent the winter months of many years speaking secrets to each other in this very room. They'd talked about the most insignificant things and the most important things. About each other's hopes and dreams. The one and only thing Cassandra had never been able to coax out of Elsa was the nature of her illness. But she respected and cared about Elsa enough to let that one secret lie and hoped one day Elsa would trust her enough to share.
Now, despite all that, she felt...nervous. Elsa was a princess, after all, and she was being groomed to be the next Queen of Arendelle. Cassandra was merely a daughter of the Palace staff, and not even a blood related one at that! How could she ever compare? But if there was one thing she wasn't, it was a coward. She clenched her fist and knocked on the door.
The door was already swinging open before her hand was back by her side and there she was, Princess Elsa, smiling warmly at Cassandra and looking as though she'd just stepped down from heaven. Cassandra let out a breath she hadn't realised she was holding. “Hi...” She breathed, relieved to see Elsa looking well, if a little tired.
“Hi, Cassie...” Elsa greeted her, still smiling softly, and then she stood back to allow Cassandra entry. Cassandra slowly stepped inside and closed the door behind her. The click of the latch sounded impossibly loud in the quietness of Elsa's room. Elsa chuckled softly at Cassandra's wince before turning away and gesturing for Cassandra to follow.
Cassandra followed her to the one candlelit area of the room, a small but comfortable sofa upon which an open upturned book rested. Elsa must have been reading as she waited for Cassandra to arrive. The Princess loved to read, and Cassandra had often sat with her on that very sofa and listened to her read her favourite stories out loud. For hours Cassandra would be lost in the sound of Elsa's voice, sometimes spending a whole night listening to her read.
Now Elsa picked up and placed the book aside so that she could tuck herself into the corner of the sofa, legs folded neatly beneath her body. Cassandra sat at the other end, feeling oddly nervous. This was the same Elsa she had always knew, but something felt different. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but she just knew something had changed. She forced the thoughts and feelings from her mind, determined to just act normal.
“Elsa,” She started, hands clasped tightly together on her lap, “I...” She shook her head, annoyed by her anxiety. “I missed you.” There, she'd said it. She'd said it many times before, of course, every time Elsa had come back to visit with her family. But again, this time felt different. Cassandra could feel her cheeks warming and she had to look away from Elsa. She hoped the faint candlelight would hide the redness. She felt a hand on her shoulder then, and she looked up to see Elsa had leant towards her and was smiling at her.
“I missed you too, Cassie.” She replied, cheeks pinking with her quiet words. “You cut your hair...I like it.” The tips of Elsa's gloved fingers flicked the ends of Cassandra's thick locks, which she'd had trimmed down to chin length in preparation for her intense guard training.
Cassandra felt her stomach flip as Elsa's fingertips lightly brushed her jaw. She inhaled sharply, hoping that Elsa couldn't see how much she was being affected by her touch. “Oh...er...yeah.” She ran a hand through her hair, grinning sheepishly, “I thought it would be easier now that I'm in the Royal Guard.”
“Oh, you made the Guard?! Cassie, that's wonderful news!” Elsa's enthusiasm made Cassandra feel like she was glowing inside. “Please, tell me all about it.” The Princess retreated to her corner and waited; her wide blue eyes expectant.
Cassandra felt the sudden absence of her touch quite keenly, but she sucked in a breath and began to tell Elsa all about her summer.
The weeks passed quickly, each day blurring into the next as Cassandra rushed through her duties in the hopes of having more time to spend with Elsa. The more time she spent with her, the more she felt their closeness becoming stronger than ever before. Just being in Elsa's presence made Cassandra feel an immense amount of happiness inside her chest. They would talk from the moment the sun set to the moment it rose again. When Cassandra finally left Elsa's room in the early hours of the mornings, she would climb sleepily into her bed still thinking of her, hoping that she was thinking of Cassandra in turn.
Before long the days began to get longer, and the mild winter of Corona began to give way to the freshness of early spring. Cassandra knew it wouldn't be long before the Arendelle family would be returning to their own kingdom, and the thought made her feel a kind of desperation inside. The thought of having to wait months and months to see Elsa again made her chest ache. Each year the parting had gotten harder, but this year in particular she didn't know if she could face it. Still, she rose each day with the intention of doing whatever she could to make Elsa smile.
With this in mind one day, she woke early and took a walk through the Palace gardens, stopping to pick only the most beautiful flowers that had bloomed so far and bunch them together into a colourful spray. Next, she stopped by the kitchens and convinced the ever-kindly Berta to give her a whole block of milky chocolate – Elsa's favourite treat – and then made her way up to Elsa's room.
“Good morning, Cassie.” Elsa, looking as perfect as ever, greeted Cassandra warmly.
“Hey, Elsa!” Cassandra replied, the gifts in her hands hidden behind her back, “I don't have guard duty today, so I decided to come here early, is that okay?”
“Of course, you know I love our time together, Cassie.” Elsa usually pale cheeks began to glow pink and she self-consciously tucked an imaginary stray hair behind her ear.
Her words made Cassandra's cheeks warm too, and she hurriedly brought her hands from behind her back to fill the awkward silence that had ensued. “Um, I got you these, I thought you'd like them...”
“Oh, Cass, those are beautiful! And chocolate! I love chocolate!” Elsa took the gifts, her smile so genuinely happy that Cassandra once again felt that glowing euphoria inside. She smiled back, feeling pleased with herself, and then almost fainted when Elsa threw her arms around her and squeezed her in a tight hug, something the Princess hadn't done since she'd gotten sick. For a second Cassandra was frozen in place, shocked by the sudden and unexpected contact, but then she slowly and awkwardly wrapped her arms around Elsa's middle, relaxing into the very welcome hug.
Elsa was warm and soft despite her lithe frame and every breath Cassandra took was infused with the smell of her skin, a scent that Cassandra could only describe as being wholly Elsa. It was intoxicating and she inhaled deeply to take in as much of it as she could.
The came apart slowly, both of them looking a little winded by the surprise hug. Cassandra's hands grasped Elsa's waist lightly, whilst Elsa's wrists rested on Cassandra's shoulders, her hands still gripping the flowers and chocolate, though they seemed to be long forgotten. Elsa was looking at Cassandra, her face flushed and her eyes gleaming in the early morning light.
Cassandra gazed back, feeling both fear and excitement in equal measure. Elsa's face was so close she could see the individual blues in her irises. Neither of them had talked since Elsa initiated the hug. She felt it was time to break the silence. “Elsa, I...” For the second time that morning, Cassandra's world was rocked as Elsa surged forward and kissed her. The gifts she'd brought fell to the floor behind Cassandra with a thud, and Elsa's newly freed fingers were lacing themselves within Cassandra's hair. Her mouth moved against Cassandra's tentatively, as though she had no more idea of what she was doing than Cassandra. Cassandra began to respond, trying to match the movements of Elsa's soft lips against hers.
The sound of their kisses was deafening, so loud to Cassandra's ears that it wasn't until Elsa jerked away from her suddenly that she heard a much different, much stranger sound. The mysterious crackling noise reminded her of the coldest winter days when she would lightly tread on the thin ice covering the puddles around the Palace gardens.
“Y-you have to go! Now!” Cassandra was brought back to the present by Elsa's fearful voice. The Princess had moved far out of Cassandra's reach and was stood shaking with her arms crossed over her body like a shield. Cassandra was confused, still lost in the feel of Elsa's mouth on hers. She didn't understand, why did Elsa look so afraid?
“Elsa, what...?” She stepped towards Elsa, only to stop when Elsa withdrew further, looking even more scared.
“Cassie, please, you have to go. I... I can't do this...I'm sorry...please...please just go.”
“Elsa, I don't...” Cassandra lifted her hands in confusion, her heart aching. Elsa was looking at Cassandra as though she was terrified of her. Had she misread the situation?
“Please...I need to be alone...” Elsa's voice was so quiet, so full of pain, that Cassandra could do nothing but respect her wishes. She turned to leave, enduring yet another jolt to her heart when she saw the discarded flowers on the floor. She stepped over them and rushed out as thick tears began to blind her vision.
Over the next few weeks Cassandra tried her best to talk to Elsa, to explain even though she had no idea what she was supposed to explain. She just wanted to make things right. But Elsa avoided being alone with her at all costs. She refused to answer the door no matter how long Cassandra stood knocking, and she ignored Cassandra's desperate requests to speak to her, to forgive her for whatever she had done. It was all to no avail. The only time she laid eyes on Elsa was when she took walks with her mother and father around the Palace and the gardens. Each glimpse of her made Cassandra's heart clench painfully and took her breath away.
It wasn't until the day the Arendelle family were due to leave that Cassandra finally had her chance.
Cassandra watched as the family were saying their goodbyes to the King and Queen of Corona, their carriage waiting beyond. Waiting to take Elsa far away to where Cassandra had no hope of reaching her, of fixing their friendship. She watched helplessly as they made their way to the carriage. And then Elsa was stopping, a distressed expression on her face. Her father tried to calm her, but then she was running back up the steps and into the Palace. Cassandra had no idea what for, but she was going alone, and Cassandra was going to grab this opportunity with both hands.
After asking every member of staff she could find if they had seen the Princess run by, she realised Elsa was heading back up to her room and rushed off in the direction of the stairs, boots hitting the floor hard in her desperation to speak to Elsa one last time.
She reached the top floor just as Elsa was leaving her room, looking down at something in her hands, a sad half-smile on her face.
“Elsa!” Elsa's head jerked up; her eyes wide with fear. Then she seemed to collect herself and brought herself up to her full height. She swiftly walked towards Cassandra, and then past her, as if she wasn't even there.
“I apologise, Cassandra, but I have to leave.” Her tone was so cold, so unlike the Elsa Cassandra knew. She felt as though she'd been slapped in the face, but she was nothing if not determined.
“Elsa! Please! I just need to talk to you!” Without thinking, she grabbed Elsa's hand and held her back. “Why are you doing this? Why won't you let me explain?” Cassandra had thought she was done with crying, but she could feel the powerful emotions building within her, ready to burst from her eyes. Elsa turned back; her eyes also wet with unshed tears.
“You can't fix this, Cassie...nobody can...” With that she wrenched herself free from Cassandra's grasp. Her hand slipped from its glove, leaving the velvet garment clenched in Cassandra's fist, and then she was running. Cassandra watched her go, finally accepting defeat. She looked down at the glove in her hand, noting the softness of it and the warmth of Elsa's hand still caught within it.
She held it to her aching chest as silent tears slid slowly down her face.