Chapter Text
Infancy.
Its 3:00AM.
“Jotaro… Jolyne’s awake again.”
No response, though it was to be expected. Jotaro was a very heavy sleeper.
He sighed, sitting up in bed, next to his partner, staring tiredly at Jotaro’s sleeping body before he gave up. He kicked the blankets off and made his way out of their bedroom, although he could hardly see straight.
Jolyne’s crying was loud, high pitched and upsetting. She wasn’t a particularly fussy baby, but once she started – it was difficult to stop her.
And sometimes only Jotaro was able to get her back to bed.
“Ahh – I’m here, I’m here.”
He walked to the crib, lifting the infant up and into his arms. He still hadn’t quite decoded her types of cries; hungry, sleepy, lonely, quite like Jotaro had so these nights were never too easy on him.
Jolyne was flailing her little arms, crying so hard he figured that even she was annoyed by it.
Kakyoin was frowning, looking down at his adoptive daughter, leaning in and pressing a series of soft kisses to her cheeks, her forehead, her nose. “I don’t know why you’re crying, sweetheart… help me out here.”
Of course, it didn’t help too much. Jolyne didn’t let up, and instead let out wails that were even louder. Kakyoin knew that she was only an infant – she wasn’t doing this to make her parents miserable. He reassured himself of that over and over again. Jolyne was just a baby…
He sighed even deeper, holding Jolyne close to his chest, stroking her hair.
“You’re not gonna let up, huh?” He shook his head, defeated. “You’ve been fed, changed… attention’s not helping you out either.”
Holding her against his shoulder, rubbing her back, he sleepily made his way back into their bedroom. Jotaro was knocked out like a damn rock, arms splayed out now that Kakyoin had been gone for more than 5 minutes.
Seeing the opportunity, Kakyoin climbed onto the bed nestling close to Jotaro, though Jolyne was still fussing. He continued rubbing her back and cooing at her, though to no avail. Looking to Jotaro, he frowned, sitting up once more with their fussy baby in his arms. Gritting his teeth, he slowly and gently placed Jolyne on his chest, then grabbed his arm and placed it over her back.
Jolyne had almost immediately stopped crying.
Kakyoin grit his teeth, looking away from the two so he could recompose himself. He laid back once more, head hitting the pillow with a thump, closing his eyes so he could finally sleep.
“Why’d you bring Jolyne into bed?” Jotaro had asked the next morning.
Kakyoin practically slammed his cup of coffee to the table, looking up at is partner with a glare. “You didn’t hear her last night?”
“…No.”
“Not even when I was sitting next to you in bed with her?”
Jotaro shook his head again.
“Whatever. She wouldn’t stop crying so I figured she wanted attention – she didn’t stop until I gave her to you.”
“That’s weird.”
“It’s not. You’re her father. Of course just being near you quiets her.”
He looked up at Kakyion, brows furrowed. “You’re her father too. And you spend much more time around her than I do.” He stated, “I don’t see what that has to do with it.”
Kakyoin ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on it, unable to put out his frustrations. “You’re her real father.” He mumbled, “Jolyne’s not going to feel the same connection to me as she does to you.”
He stood up from his seat, walking towards the sink and dumping half his mug down the train.
“Oi.”
He ignored Jotaro’s call, gathering his papers for school, “The babysitter will be here in about an hour.”
“You don’t have to leave for another hour.”
“I should get there early. It’s fine.” Kakyoin shrugged. He grabbed his coat, and his car keys, attempting to pass Jotaro on his way out.
Though Jotaro grabbed Kakyoin by his wrist, tugging him back. “What’s buggin’ you? You only act this way when you’re upset.”
Kakyoin closed his eyes, avoiding Jotaro’s gaze. “Nothing.”
“I’m not stupid, Noriaki. What’s up?”
“It’s like I said… You’re Jolyne’s father… Even if she grew up disregarding that – we’re never going to have the same connection that you and her do. She’s going to realize that I stepped in months after her birth … that I wasn’t involved with her at all before then… and she’s…”
Kakyoin trailed off, biting his lip.
“It’s stupid. I need to go to class if I’m going to get that internship at the studio. We’re not going to live off of your salary alone, right now.” He muttered, “I’ll see you when I get home.”
Kakyoin yanked his hand away, only for Jotaro to wrap his arms around Kakyoin’s waist. “Relax, would you?”
“I can’t.”
“She’s an infant. She warmed up to you easily… is it still gonna take some time and effort? Sure. But you can’t write her behavior off as their being no parent to child connection. You’ve hardly just begun.”
They stood still, and gradually Jotaro tightened his hold on Kakyoin, bringing him closer, pressing his lips against his neck, up to his jawline.
“She’s fussy and it’s probably from me. It’s got nothing to do with you being a bad parent.”
“I guess…” He sighed, leaning into Jotaro’s touch. “I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” The two stood like that for a moment, until they heard Jolyne crying out from her bedroom. “C’mon. Bond a little before you leave. She’ll love it.”
Kakyoin cracked a small smile, nodding to his lover. Jotaro kept his hand around Kakyoin’s waist as they approached their daughter with caution.
“I knew that you were leaving for this trip.”
Jotaro nodded, baby Jolyne sleeping quietly on his chest.
“Do you really have to leave?”
“If there’s a guaranteed promotion at the end of it, yeah. I really do.”
Kakyoin closed his eyes, leaning against Jotaro’s shoulder. “I’m not ready to be alone with her.” He mumbled. “I’m going to mess up. Something bad’ll happen.”
“I told you… if you wanted to go back to Japan for the duration that I’m away, I’d have arrangements set up as soon as possible.”
Kakyoin shook his head, curling up even closer to Jotaro. “I just moved out here with you. Moving back would be cheating.”
“Cheating? How so. You’d be with our families.”
“I need to stay away for as long as I can… unless absolutely necessary.” He spoke, “I’m homesick enough as it is. Going back would make it worse.”
“It might be good for you. You’re nearing on your first year out of Japan, you can see your parents, mine too – plus I’m sure your mom or mine would love to help out with Jolyne.”
Kakyoin slumped slightly, looking towards the floor.
“I just want what’s best for you. There’s nothing wrong with not being ready to handle her on your own…” Jotaro frowned, pressing a kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head. “What do you think I did when I was left alone with her? I flew out to Japan to see my mom.”
“I know… but.”
“It’s up to you. If you choose not to – it’s fine. If you choose not to but then during the second week you decide you’ve had enough and you want to go? That’s fine too.”
Jolyne began to stir from her sleep, whining against her father’s chest.
Kakyoin stood, taking Jolyne from him and into his own arms, rocking her gently, cooing at her. “I’ll take her to bed.” He spoke, holding her close before he left the room.
Jotaro took a deep breath, removing his hat to run a hand through his hair.
“He’ll be fine.”
“N-No, I promise it’s going fine… I’m not crying… I miss you is all.”
Kakyoin held his head, standing by their livingroom window. Jolyne was sitting on the floor playing with some of her toys. She was just learning how to walk and talk – so most of the time, Kakyoin was distracted with teaching her how and making sure she didn’t crawl near anywhere dangerous. She was still a bit stubborn, but she was giving her father an easier time than he anticipated.
Though he still didn’t feel entirely right.
Kakyoin was set to graduate in a few months, and he would begin his job soon after. Really, this was the best situation that he and Jotaro had been in since he had moved in with them.
He held the phone close to his ear, listening to Jotaro tell him the usual. He missed him too, he would be home in just a few weeks, he was proud of Kakyoin for doing so well with Jolyne and a whole bunch of stuff to make him feel better. It worked for a short while, but he knew it wouldn’t last while Jotaro was still gone.
Kakyoin looked back towards Jolyne, but had found her crawling towards the kitchen. He sighed, preparing to tell Jotaro to hang on before he went to go and get her.
Before he could do that, though, he found Jolyne grasping onto on of the chairs by the table and she had pulled herself up so she was standing.
Kakyoin blinked a few times, looking over at her to make sure that he wasn’t just imagining it or that she wasn’t just replicating what she did when she was in her crib, standing but using the railing for support.
She turned around, smiling at her father, slightly bouncing up and down to show her excitement. She had let go, turned towards Kakyoin and took a few small steps towards him.
“J-Jotaro – hold on a sec… Jolyne is standing and s-she just… walked towards me.”
Kakyoin set the phone down, slowly approaching his daughter, getting on his knees to make sure she was at his eye level.
“C’mon sweetheart, just a little more…”
Though clumsy, Jolyne was definitely standing, and she was definitely taking steps towards him. He held his arms out, focusing on her small steps, close enough so that if she fell, she wouldn’t hurt herself.
But much to his delight, she had done it – walking right into Kakyoin’s arms, where he took her into them and stood up, gently spinning around as she smiled and giggled.
“Ah, you did so wonderful, Jolyne! I’m so proud of you!” He pressed multiple kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, holding her tight. “Daddy’s going to be so happy when I tell him”
Kakyoin had kept Jolyne in his arms, racing towards the phone.
“She did! She just took her first steps, Jojo!” Kakyoin exclaimed, a wide smile on his lips. “S-She was just sitting playing with her toys but then she crawled into the kitchen and she started walking towards me. I can’t believe it…”
Jotaro, on the other line, was excited – he could tell although he wasn’t too good at expressing it. He cooed to Jolyne through the phone, telling her how proud he was and that he wished he was there to see it.
“When you come home I’m sure Jolyne would love to show off how amazing she is, isn’t that right?!” Kakyoin smiled, bouncing his daughter in one arm and holding the phone in the other. “You’ll be back in a month, right…?”
Kakyoin received the answer he had wanted, hanging up with Jotaro a few moments later, exchanging their goodbyes and I love you’s.
This was needed, after the past few weeks of being stressed out and lonely. Jolyne was good company when she wasn’t being fussy, but considering she was a baby, he wasn’t able to dump all worries onto her.
After this special moment, he’d go back to doing whatever he was doing, Jolyne would return to playing with her toys, and eventually they’d both retire to bed where Kakyoin would lay there in the dark, by himself until he couldn’t stand it anymore, where he would then take Jolyne from her crib and tuck her into bed beside him.
He wouldn’t return to his parents no matter how hard it got.
“You’re going to be home for a bit longer, right?”
“As of right now, I shouldn’t have to go on any more trips for a while. But anything can come up, babe.”
“Right.”
They sat on the terrace to their small apartment, Jotaro smoking a cigarette, Kakyoin accompanied by a glass of wine.
“You did so good without me.” Jotaro looked over at his boyfriend, “I’m really proud. Jolyne’s warmed up to you so much, too.”
Kakyoin smiled, accompanied by a blush. It always felt good to be praised by Jotaro, considering how insecure he felt on the matter. He leaned against his boyfriend, closing his eyes, Jotaro reached for a hand, intertwining their fingers together.
“What are we going to have Jolyne call me when she can finally talk?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re dad… what would I be? Papa would take a bit of getting used to.”
“I think it’s cute. You could have her say it in Japanese. Otou-san.”
“That seems a little formal.”
“Tou-chan. C’mon, that’d be cute too.”
“Ahh, I guess.”
“We could see whatever she comes up with. Or try both out, see what she likes better.”
“I’d like that.”
Jotaro put out his cigarette, wrapping both his arms around Kakyoin, pulling him close. “Finish your drink and lets go to bed. I wanna get the most out of you before you start working full time.”
Kakyoin chuckled, swinging his legs over Jotaro’s lap, downing the remainder in his glass.
“I’m all yours.”