Chapter Text
[TG] karkat
[TG] karkat i need your help
[TG] dude
[TG] i think im lost
[TG] im hungry
[TG] youre my best friend, right?
[TG] because I need you right now
[TG] karkat
[TG] i think there's a pink dragon outside
[TG] or was it red?
[TG] karkat
[TG] help a bro out
[CG] YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME
[TG] oh thank jegus
[CG] I KNOW ITS A COMMON OCCURRENCE FOR ASSHOLES IN OUR AGE RANGE TO GOT TO FRAT PARTIES
[CG] BUT DO YOU THINK THAT MAYBE JUST ONCE
[CG] YOU COULD FIND IT IN YOU TO BOTHER SOME OTHER INSUFFERABLE PRICK WHEN YOUR TO SMASHED TO THINK STRAIGHT
[TG] because
[TG] youre the only one who can make it past the dragon
[TG] shes right outside my door
[TG] i can hear her
[CG] DAVE
[CG] THIS DRAGON WOULDNT HAPPEN TO STAND AT FIVE FOOT ZIP AND USE A CANE WOULD SHE?
[TG] yeah
[TG] karkat
[TG] you gotta hurry
[TG] before she wakes up
[CG] DAVE
[CG] YOU ARE FORGETTING ONE VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL
[CG] I STILL DONT KNOW WHERE THE FUCK YOU ARE
[TG] oh man
[TG] i dont know
[TG] in a room
[TG] im being guarded by a dragon like a beautiful blonde princess
[TG] i need my knight in shining armor to come and save me
[CG] DAVE
[CG] TRUST ME
[CG] IF TEREZI IS ANYWHERE NEAR AS SMASHED AS YOU ARE
[CG] SHE WONT BE WAKING UP SOON
[TG] i dont know man
[TG] the mighty dragon takes her job very seriously
[CG] JUST STEP OVER HER
[CG] YOURE A GOOD FOOT TALLER THEN HER WHEN SHES STANDING
[CG] IF SHES SLEEPING YOU SHOULD HAVE NO TROUBLE
[CG] THEN GO DOWNSTAIRS AND FIND OUT WHERE YOU ARE
[TG] oh
[TG] hold on
[TG] im gonna try that
[TG] alright
[CG] DID YOU FINALLY MANAGE TO CARRY YOUR DRUNK ASS ALL THE WAY DOWNSTAIRS
[TG] yeah
[TG] you where right
[TG] the red dragon was out
[TG] and i found out where i am
[CG] SWEET FUCKING YES
[CG] I JUST WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH
[CG] BECAUSE I STILL HAVE A NORMAL SLEEPING SCHEDULE
[CG] THAT YOU WOKE ME UP FROM
[CG] SO WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
[TG] um
[CG] OR DID YOU ALREADY FUCKING FORGET?
[TG] im at tzs
[CG] ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
[CG] YOU WANT ME TO COME GET YOU
[CG] FROM TEREZIS PLACE
[CG] NO
[CG] FUCK THAT
[CG] I THINK YOULL SURVIVE THE REST OF THE NIGHT
[CG] GO SLEEP IT OFF ON HER COUCH
[TG] but kaaarkaaat
[CG] NO
[TG] please
[CG] FUCK NO
[TG] pretty please with a cherry on top
[CG] ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW DAVE
[TG] please
[TG] karkat
[TG] karkitty
[TG] kit-kat
[TG] kitten
[TG] crabby
[TG] soft kitty
[TG] warm kitty
[TG] little ball of fur
[CG] SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME SLEEP ALREADY