Chapter Text
Chief mechanic: I’m hoping you're still asleep. If not, then you know about aliens in New York.
Chief mechanic: Again!
Chief mechanic: If you do, you’ll obviously understand why I need confirmation that Patches did what he was supposed to do, and Captain Danvers is on her way.
Purple Arrow: Yes, because Phil is still getting work alerts because I forgot to put his phone in do-not-disturb mode.
Purple Arrow: It's a good thing you messaged, cause otherwise Phil would be trying to check in with Mack right now.
Purple Arrow: Actually, he’s probably still going to do that anyway. He's overprotective of his kids, as I am. I’m taking his phone away.
Chief mechanic: Let Agent know that his New York bus kid is fine, along with the majority of the New York field team. The Defenders team suffered a fatality, but the ATCU only has a few injured, according to Ana. It will be a while before we get civilian numbers. I expect some because there is a ton of property damage, but probably fewer fatalities than expected. After all, the buildings attacked were already evacuated due to a combination of bomb threats and gas leaks.
Purple arrow: That’s not suspicious at all. [Rolling eyes Emoji]
Chief mechanic: Oh, I'm sure the baby bird was somehow involved. That's a Hunter problem since he's in charge of the UN Avengers right now. I have other things to worry about.
Purple arrow: Hunter is in charge???? How the fuck did that happen?
Chief mechanic: Yes. I don’t have the emotional energy to explain why.
Chief mechanic: He's also in charge of the Jarvis foundation, which is going to be doing most of the relief work once the dust settles. I'm hoping he can prevent the area from being completely gentrified.
Purple arrow: You really are running out of people. The Defenders didn't lose the lawyer, did they? I like him.
Chief mechanic: You know about the lawyer? You know who the lawyer is?
Purple arrow: Of course, I know. Who do you think I go to when I have legal issues, and I don't want it to be someone on your payroll?
Chief mechanic: He actually is on my payroll.
Chief mechanic: Well, he’s on Junior’s payroll. I think he might’ve helped get one of her friends away from her super transphobic parents.
Chief mechanic: The Devil’s litigator has been involved in the Flash fucked up custody situation/emancipation. He made the opposing counsel cry.
Purple arrow: I’m sure the assholes who defended a child abuser deserved it.
Chief mechanic: He did. Don’t worry, my child will not need to get a new lawyer. It wasn’t him. The one who called himself Ironfist before his ex-girlfriend took over.
Purple arrow: I’m glad he’s OK. I would hate having to get a new lawyer.
Purple arrow: Also, your kid has way too much money, but at least she's using it for good. It must be the Princess's influence.
Chief mechanic: I personally blame Steve. Tell Agent I'm sorry his sleep was disrupted. Under normal circumstances, Ana should have overridden the settings. I assume Ana decided to alert all of us to the New York chaos and wasn’t as selective as she should’ve been.
Purple arrow: It’s fine.
Chief mechanic: Anyway, Aliens in New York means that the purple one is close by, even though the Princess and Team Fitz Simmons managed to blow up the ship. Do you know if Patches actually called Danvers?
Chief mechanic: We're going to need her sooner rather than later. Things are starting a month earlier than the previous timeline.
Chief mechanic: Falcon said that Fury called her, but I'm pretty sure the man was on a plane to Wakanda before yesterday's shit show. He is very sad that his best friends breakfast with Honey Bear and the Winter Dad has been postponed due to another alien invasion.
Purple arrow: I'm afraid to ask how the Princess blew up a ship.
Chief mechanic: Wakanda micro explosives and a decoy. I hope that the purple one is on there, but I doubt we will be that lucky.
Purple arrow: Probably not. I can confirm Nick sent the captain a message after I showed him and his wife to their accommodations. I stood there and watched him do it because I don’t fucking trust him right now.
Chief mechanic: You actually showed him to his room?
Purple arrow: Yes, so I could yell at him in private. Again, I don’t trust him. Phil didn’t need to hear all my grievances. He’s dealing with enough.
Chief mechanic: Good call.
Purple arrow: Fury said he hasn’t been yelled at this much since Phil found out what Tahiti really was. His wife says that he deserves everything. There's a 90% chance she made him sleep on the couch in the guest suite where he was staying.
Chief mechanic: I already liked this mysterious wife.
Purple arrow: I do too.
Chief mechanic: You probably don't want to talk to Nick anytime soon, but we need an ETA on when his special friend will arrive. The timetable has to be moved up on our plan, because blowing up his kids is probably going to bring Thanos to us faster. Even though the Princess thinks Wanda can pull it off, we would like a backup.
Purple arrow: It's always good to have a backup. I'll go check and get back to you.
Chief mechanic: Thank you.
Chief mechanic: Have you heard from Patches yet? We need to finalize Plan B.
Purple arrow: Clint is not back from his meeting with Nick yet.
Purple arrow: This is Coulson. Clint left me with his phone because he didn’t trust me enough to leave mine. He promises to give it back to me when he gets back.
Chief mechanic: He was afraid you would text Mack?
Purple arrow: And that I would keep watching videos of New York.
Chief mechanic: Yeah, it's best not to watch that. Although the wizard is safe with us. Casualties are low because most of the damage buildings were evacuated.
Chief Mechanic: No, I won’t explain how that happened.
Chief mechanic: Not in text message form anyway. Although if you asked Dr. Fitz-Simmons, she might know more than I do at the moment.
Purple arrow: That’s fine. I agree with you. There should be little about this mission in writing.
Purple arrow: How are the kids? I haven’t heard anything directly from Leo or Daisy. Yo-Yo texted me before leaving on her last mission. Also, Fitz has sent a few messages. Although most of that was checking up on Simmons. He’s very nervous about the pregnancy.
Chief mechanic: That makes sense. I haven't had to bench anybody due to emotional compromise. However, I did have to make Hunter the head of the UN Avengers.
Purple arrow: You put Hunter in charge?
Chief mechanic: I have limited options at the moment. He's mellowed over the last year, having been in charge of the Jarvis foundation and spy-married to Leo.
Chief mechanic: FYI, I think they're for real engaged, but you didn't hear it from me.
Chief mechanic: Most of us are just trying to stay busy, which is really easy to do at the moment. It helps to keep distracted. I expect a crash once all this is over with.
Purple arrow: I’m sure there will be. I am fighting the urge to go crawl back into bed.
Chief mechanic: But we don't have time for a crash right now.
Purple arrow: We do not. I’m sorry I hit you.
Chief mechanic: You shouldn’t be. I absolutely deserved it. I would punch out whoever was bringing me that news about Steve.
Chief mechanic: Actually, I better go first because I never want to have that conversation.
Chief mechanic: Since I didn’t prevent you from receiving my sincere condolences, the least I can do is let you punch me.
Purple arrow: You didn’t know. You can't blame yourself for something you were completely unaware of. May didn't ask any of us for help. That’s what I’m the angriest about.
Chief mechanic: I don’t know a lot of the things going on right now. The kids have been very good at compartmentalizing and covering their tracks. I didn’t even know about the explosive decoy LMD until after the fact.
Purple arrow: I am not surprised.
Chief mechanic: The baby bird is selective about who sees her art. She sends it to people whom she thinks can help.
Purple arrow: And she thought Melinda could fix this?
Chief mechanic: I don’t know. In at least two timelines we know of, May adopted the baby bird. We're now aware that the baby bird sees multiple timelines, not just ours. Some of those feelings could influence Baby Bird's choices in this timeline.
Chief mechanic: Bucky bear has been extra protective since we got here, even the kids haven't been able to visit the baby bird. We haven't been able to ask her what her perspective is on all of this.
Chief mechanic: However, we’re not going to blame a kindergartener for what happened. Your wife was an adult and made her own choices. I disagree with the choices she made, but they were hers to make.
Purple arrow: I know none of this was the little girl's fault. I just wish Melinda were still here.
Chief mechanic: So do I.
Purple arrow: OK, I'm back. I see that the heart-to-heart took place while I was gone, which is good, because I was so tired of your bullshit.
Chief mechanic: [rolling eyes emoji]
Chief mechanic: Perfect timing, it was starting to get too emotional. What did Patches say?
Purple arrow: Nothing good. The captain is in the middle of a situation, and she'll come as soon as she wraps things up, but it will be at least two days. So you're going to have to go with your backup plan, whatever it is.
Purple arrow: You do have a backup plan?
Chief mechanic: Of course, there's another crisis going on somewhere else in the galaxy. Yes, we have a backup plan because there are always multiple crises happening at once.
Chief mechanic: You may want to have Nikki contact her again and let her know that Thanos has attacked Earth.
Purple arrow: He’s already doing that.
Chief mechanic: Good. Keep me posted.
Purple arrow: Will do.
To be continued…