Chapter Text
Thurs Mar 21, 4:32 pm
catherine.parr: My friends broke up me and my boyf to set me up with Henry Shithead and don’t understand why they’re garbage, I need people to sympathize with me
qween.of.cleves: your friends suck
catherine.parr: i know
b.is.for.bitch: henry is still alive?
b.is.for.bitch: i thought he drank himself to death like two years ago
catherine.parr: I can confirm he is alive and still a dirtbag
katty.kat: He is a criminal and should be dead.
b.is.for.bitch: is this turning into a teen romance where we all kill him together and then someone falls in love? i am bi as heck and will kiss someone in the rain
j.seymom: We are not planning a murder!
ladycatherine: Death is too kind.
b.is.for.bitch: catherine that is the hottest thing you have ever said
qween.of.cleves: keep it in your pants Anne, don’t scare off the newbie
catherine.parr: do you guys already know each other?
ladycatherine: Jane made a group chat for us a while ago, there were only four of us back then
katty.kat: he’s toxic and my therapist says I shouldn’t talk to him
qween.of.cleves: can you talk shit about him?
katty.kat: idk im gonna ask
katty.kat: she said okay
b.is.for.bitch: sick
b.is.for.bitch: henrys a little bitch baby
ladycatherine: I don’t need to talk bad about Henry to feel good about myself.
ladycatherine: But you are correct.
b.is.for.bitch: catherine saying I’m right? lord there has been a miracle in this gc tonight
qween.of.cleves: I took screenshots for you babe
j.seymom: I don’t want to be mean.
catherine.parr: He convinced my friends to tell my bf of three years that I was cheating on him so he would dump me and then they set me up with Henry. I wanna talk shit
catherine.parr: I was looking at engagement rings
catherine.parr: He is the worst person I’ve ever met
katty.kat: I wanna say something mean.
b.is.for.bitch: say it
katty.kat: I’m nervous
b.is.for.bitch: here im holding your hand
b.is.for.bitch: *middle finger emoji*
b.is.for.bitch: whoops wrong one
b.is.for.bitch: *holding hand emoji*
b.is.for.bitch: there
qween.of.cleves: HENRY HAS A TINY DICK
katty.kat: Here I go
katty.kat: His beard was really ugly
katty.kat: waiT IT WAS MY TURN
catherine.parr: he had a beard?!
katty.kat: yeah, he always had food and stuff in it, it made him look old and gross
b.is.for.bitch: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA pics or it didnt happen
katty.kat: *picture attached*
B.is.for.bitch: anne im sorry but kat has stolen your spot as my fave
qween.of.cleves: I’m deleting the screenshot
b.is.for.bitch: WAIT
qween.of.cleves: no one will ever believe you
ladycatherine: And it will never happen again.
catherine.parr: you guys are amazing, thank you for making my day
qween.of.cleves: I can’t help it, but your welcome