Chapter Text
Tim was, in two words, not happy with his current situation.
Yeah, he had always enjoyed his work at the Magnus Institute, first in research and then as an archival assistant. But the whole Prentiss incident (and those scars were always a fun conversation with his grindr hook-ups) and Jon being an absolute ass to work for (although he had gotten better lately) made things that bit less fun.
He barely even bothered to engage in his work, scrolling through his phone most days and half-heartedly doing some lazily google-based follow-up to some of the statements. It was hard, he couldn't exactly talk to anyone about what was happening in his life, "Hey doctor, I’m a bit depressed and angry because my work environment is murderous, no I can’t leave because I accidently sold my soul to an eldritch horror" would be a great way to get him sectioned.
Although Tim was sure that Elias would somehow get him out of that, if only to prevent his precious archivist from losing any assistants.
It was while pretending to follow up on a woman who had problems with intermittently disappearing into a foggy nightmare-world that Tim found a website on mindfulness meditation. It was a class the woman had regularly attended prior to her 'encounter' and, while there was no way Tim was going to attend that particular location, there was nothing wrong with going to a different one. The website boasted the benefits of meditating: a sense of calm and peace, a re-evaluation of life’s' priorities, a way to connect the inner mind with the outer mind. Bullshit like that.
Tim shrugged, the worst that could happen is that it was all crap and a waste of his time (well, the worst that could happen is that he was devoured by clowns, but that thought went straight back into the 'no thank you' box).
And he could pretty easily swing it as 'psychological help' and make Elias pay for it too. Tim had no idea what union had given the institute staff such good medical benefits, but he wasn't going to question it.
In the end, the classes were pretty good. He didn’t get any sudden inspiration, he didn't feel magically better about himself and his situation, but Tim did feel a lot more relaxed and calm. He just felt more ... In tune with himself. Which, while it was some serious bullshit, was at least an improvement.
The classes had recommended meditating every morning and night, and while he sometimes forgot or couldn’t be assed, he found his days went easier when he did it.
"You're looking better Tim." Sasha said one morning a few months after he'd started the classes.
Tim leaned onto the back legs of his chair and tilted his head backwards to look at Sasha upside down.
"Better?"
"Yeah. You been doing something different?"
Tim scoffed, "Well, there’s no worms trying to kill us or anything, so that’s helped."
"Yeah."
There was silence for a while before Tim spoke again.
"I've been going to meditation classes actually. They really help."
Sasha raised her eyebrows disbelievingly, "Just sitting in a room being quiet?"
Tim tilted his chair back to the ground with a clatter that was sure to annoy Jon (ha ha, sucks to be him), and turned to face Sasha fully.
"It's more than that. It’s about centring yourself. And it’s not like I can talk to a psych about all this." he gestured vaguely at the institute around them.
"You should run a 'meditation session' for us then, if they're so good," Sasha said in a teasing tone, complete with air-quotes.
Martin chose that moment to walk in and deposit mugs of tea on everyone's desks.
"Tim's gonna run a meditation session?"
Tim rolled his eyes, "I mean, I’ve only be going for a month or two."
Martin's face fell, "I just think it might be a good idea. Help everyone relax and all that."
Tim thought for a moment. It wouldn’t be a bad idea, the three of them having a bit of mindfulness. Might make everything a bit less stressful around the archive. Although, Jon was the one who really needed to chill out.
Actually.
"Alright Martin, I'll do it if you can convince Jon to join us."
Martin squeaked, "Me? Convince him?"
"Well me and Sasha aren’t going to convince him!"
Martin sighed, "Fine. Deal."
------
Tim had no idea how Martin had successfully conned Jon into this, but here they were on a Friday morning, clearing a space in the archive storage room so they could all sit down comfortably.
Even with Martin's assurance, Tim wasn't entirely sure Jon would actually come until he slid into the room three minutes past one.
"Sorry, got caught up with a statement."
He looked at the three of them sitting on the ground awkwardly, before hanging his jacket on a chair and joining them.
Tim took a deep breath. Was this a good idea? Like a kayak heading towards the rapids, it was too late to back out now.
"Alright. We're going to do some meditating." He glanced at the faces of everyone. They were seated loosely in a square, Jon sitting across from Sasha, and Jon across from Martin.
Martin was, of course, nervously excited and trying not to make eye contact with Jon. Sasha was looking attentively at Tim, and Jon looked like he wanted to be literally anywhere else.
"So, first, you need to pick something to focus on. A spot on the wall or one of the boxes or something. Just pick it, and focus your eyes on it, and don’t look away."
Everyone dutifully shifted their gaze to something within the room, and Tim continued.
"Think about your breathing. In, and out. In - one - two - three - four. Hold it - one - two - three - four. Out - one - two - three - four."
He continued pacing their breathing and was glad he'd spoken to the meditation teacher last night about tips and tricks. There were a lot of things that he hadn’t realised went into guided mediation - like watching the physical reactions of the participants and gauging when to move on. Tim had just assumed they went from a memorised script.
It made sense though, no point moving on until everyone was ready.
He was glad for years of paying close attention to his partners, it helped him see the relaxation in the others. He continued to guide their breathing and watched as some of the tension drained away.
"I want you to focus on your feet for a minute. Feel each individual toe, each muscle in your foot and around your ankle. And feel them relax. Feel your feet become loose and limp, relaxed and calm.
Next, feel this relaxation travel up your legs. Feel your calves loosen, feel your knees become limp, feel your thighs relax, feel your glutes calm.
Then the sensation spreads into your torso. Your stomach, your chest. Everything settling until the only movement is the steady breath in - one - two - three - four, hold - one - two - three - four, and out - one - two - three - four.
Focus on your arms now. Your shoulders loosening and falling forward a bit, although you have just enough strength to stay sitting up. Your arms resting limply in your lap. Your hands relaxing.
Finally, your head follows this relaxation. With your whole body relaxed and quiet, your mind begins to drift into a peaceful and happy state. You are aware, but everything is relaxed. Keep focussing on that spot that you chose earlier and feel yourself drift."
Tim sat back and watched the others. This had turned out better than he thought. Martin had a slight look of concentration on his face but seemed to be doing well. Sasha was staring off to a point behind Tim's shoulder and looked perfectly serene. And as Tim turned to Jon -
A sudden ringing snapped everyone out of their peace, and Tim cursed. How the hell had he gotten reception down here? He quickly rejected the call, but the mood was broken, and everyone began to come back to themselves.
"Sorry, forgot to put my phone on silent."
Martin smiled at him, "it's fine. This was still really nice."
Sasha agreed, "Yeah, it was good. I feel great."
Tim turned to Jon to see what he thought, probably some anger at 'lost working time' or something.
And Tim paused.
Jon was still staring at a point on the wall, his eyes unfocussed and blank, his breathing steady and even, his hands lax on his lap.
The others noticed too, and they sat awkwardly for a moment before Tim spoke up.
"Boss?"
Jon blinked, a slow and languid motion, but otherwise didn't seem to register Tim's words.
If it weren't for his eyes being open, Tim would have said he was sleeping. Maybe he was? Maybe he was doing some freaky archivist eyes-open-sleep thing?
"Do you think we should wake him up?" Sasha asked, evidently coming to the same conclusion Tim had.
Tim opened his mouth, and then closed it. Part of him wanted to just shake Jon awake and move on.
But another part of him... Jon looked so much younger like this, his premature grey hairs aside. His face was so peaceful and open, the only things marring it (except for the worm scars) were the almost-permanent dark circles under his eyes, somewhat obscured by his glasses.
Tim sighed, "If he's sleeping, he's not telling us off."
Martin shook his head, "We can’t just leave him sitting here. It can’t be comfortable."
"Well let’s move him to the cot then," Sasha suggested.
There was a brief discussion about how to move him across the room to the bed before Tim had an idea. His meditating instructor had said to be careful using relaxation techniques at work, cautioning that it was easy to nudge people when they were 'under'.
Maybe he could ...?
"Jon." He said softly.
At his name, Jon's gaze shifted towards Tim, still empty and vacant, but his attention seemingly focused on him.
"You still have a feeling of relaxation, of distance and peace. But you feel energy returning to your body, to your legs. You are going to stand up and walk over to the cot."
It took a few moments for anything to happen. The three of them watched Jon, seeing what he would do. Would he suddenly come to and yell at them? Would he berate them for wasting his time and trying to ...? What, control him?
None of that happened. Instead, Jon slowly stumbled to his feet, moving as if he was unfamiliar with how many limbs he owned, and he shuffled towards the cot.
Tim followed, ready to catch his boss if he fell, but it wasn't needed. Despite his swaying, he kept his feet fine.
Jon stopped at the cot, staring blankly at it.
Tim realised after a moment that he was waiting for instructions.
(Tim quashed the sense of something that ran through him at the thought of Jon following his instructions to the letter. Down boy)
"Jon, I want you to lie down on the cot and relax again."
Jon nodded vaguely and got onto the cot. He laid back and stared towards the ceiling while the three assistants looked on.
Tim let out a breath. Shit. What now.
Martin stepped forward and plucked Jon's glasses from his face, carefully extracting the glasses chain as to not choke him in his sleep.
Tim thought for a moment, ideas running through his head and then quickly being discarded. Finally, he knelt down next to the cot and spoke.
"Jon, feel your body relax. With every breath in, you feel more light and peaceful. With every breath out, you feel more relaxed and sleepy. Feel those sensations begin to fill you. Feel your body begin to slow down into a gentle sleep. Your limbs are far away, the world is distant. Everything can wait. You can see sleep approaching, a sleep full of - " Tim cut himself off, pausing for a moment as he struggled for words, "you search for the happiest memory you have, and you see that memory approaching you. That is what your dreams will be filled with, the happiest memory you have, and a peaceful sleep. Feel your eyes slide closed, and rest."
The three of them watched as Jon's eyes slid shut, a slight smile on his otherwise relaxed face. After a moment, they each stood and walked away, heading for the breakroom.
Martin ended up putting on some tea (of course he did) and they stood around awkwardly, not talking.
Eventually, Sasha broke the silence.
"That was weird, right?"
"Oh definitely"
"Yes, it was."
Sasha nodded, "Cool, just making sure."
They continued to stand there for a while, sipping on their tea, before heading back to their desks.
After a few hours, Jon appeared from the storage room, hair mussed and shirt rumpled, but his seemed brighter than Tim had seen since... Well, since he'd gotten the job as head archivist.
Jon's face flushed red as he realised everyone was staring at him.
"Ah, uhm, thanks Tim for, ah, that relaxing meditation."
"No problems boss. Have a good rest?"
"Yes, quite," Jon nodded, "Dreamt about being back in uni, hanging out with Georgie." Jon's eyes went distant for a moment, "One of the best times of my life actually."
He snapped back into focus quickly and looked them all over. "Truly, thanks for that Tim. You should all take the rest of the day off. Have a head-start on your weekend."
They didn't need to be told twice, and all shuffled out of the archives. Tim couldn't help taking one last look at Jon as he left.
He really did look more relaxed. Maybe they should do this meditation thing again.
(And if Jon was zoned out enough to be controlled again? Well.)