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It had been a few weeks since Andal took up the position of Hunter Vanguard, slowly getting into the routine of paperwork, consensus meetings, planning, and talking with his scouts. Even in his exhausted state, he always tried to make time for his old fireteam whenever they came into the Tower; ask them what they need, how their scouting missions are going, ask about enemy activity, etc. He was always happy to help them where he could, but he also enjoyed the chance to catch up with them, even if it was just for a few minutes before they headed out again, and once they left it was back to work.
Andal sighed as he read one of his latest reports from a group of scouts on a mission to find a fireteam that had gone MIA.
“Another group of Guardians gone...it’s sad.” Osiris turned to Andal. “Unfortunately it’ll happen more often than you think. The best we can do is try and prepare them for any challenge they may come across.” Andal acknowledged Osiris’s advice and looked back to his datapad, looking once more at the report before moving onto another one.
-
Cayde had been doing some single patrol missions. It was his way of getting away and trying to do some self-reflecting without the others wondering why he wasn’t as chatty as usual. He pulled out his journal and went through the pages as he often did, glaring at his most recent journal entries: the ones about Taniks, Nian, Lush, and his and Andal’s Dare. Sundance popped out, “Still thinking about everything?” she asked.
Cayde sighed and nodded, “Yeah...I just-...this doesn't feel right. I feel like I took advantage of him, introduced the Dare while emotions were still high and after we were both already drinking.” Cayde laid down in the grassy field and stared up at the sky. “He should be out here with us, not chained up in the Tower.”
Sundance floated around in his face. “Would you rather it be you in the Tower then?” Cayde looked at her in disgust.
“Fuck no, I am the least qualified for the position, and everyone knows that.”
“Cayde, you and I both know that out of all the Hunters we know, Andal’s probably the fittest for the job. He’s always been diplomatic and tried to find a compromise that works for everyone. The City needs that. Now, I know you’d rather sulk around for forever, but you’ve got some reports you need to turn in. Avoiding him isn’t gonna solve anything.”
Cayde sighed and sat back up, “Believe me, avoiding him is the last thing I wanna do...but every time I see him it’s just...I’m faced with the reality that things aren’t gonna be the same between us anymore... and that it’s all my fault. ”
Cayde started to stand up and put away his journal, while Sundance disappeared back into her personal space in Cayde’s backpack, “You can either mope about it for the rest of eternity, or you can actually talk to him and maybe see how he feels,” she said.
-
Andal stretched his back and arms as he finally got through the last of his reports for the afternoon. Shiro and Tevis came by earlier to turn in a few of their reports on some Fallen activity in the Cosmodrome, and they had talked for a bit about everything that’s happened.
“Cayde’s been doing his own patrols recently, no clue why,” Shiro mentioned. Andal looked down at the map of the Cosmodrome laid out on the table.
"He probably just needs some time to think about everything that’s been going on,” Tevis chimed in. “It’s nice to finally have some peace and quiet, although sometimes it’s too quiet. Been hearing the void every now and then, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” Andal chuckled and looked back up to Tevis.
“Well if you need me, too, I can always pair you guys back up for a strike and tell Cayde to yap your ear off.”
Tevis scoffed, “Please for the love of Light don’t.” Andal smiled, and glanced back down at his datapad trying not to think about the new fireteam casualty report on it, then looked back up to Tevis and Shiro.
“It’s been good getting to chat with you two, but I should be getting back to what I was doing. I’ll let you guys know if I get any more intel on those groups of Fallen.” Shiro and Tevis nodded, and then made their way out of the room.
Andal watched them walk away, as he stared after them, he saw Cayde approaching him. Andal immediately lit up. But Cayde didn't stop by him, instead, he headed towards Osiris and handed him his reports. As soon as he was done, he headed out.
“Cayde,” Andal called out. Cayde turned around and looked towards Andal, and saw him giving a little wave. Cayde briefly gestured a wave back and continued to head for the door, leaving Andal with the cold shoulder.
Andal’s ghost, Tikaani, floated out of his backpack. “What’s his deal? He’s never been cold like that before.” Andal looked on longingly and then turned back to Tikaani.
“Rough day maybe? Either that or maybe he found something else of his past he’d rather forget.”
Tikaani floated closer to his face, “Are you sure it isn’t something else? He has been acting strange since you lost the Dare.” Andal patted her gently on her shell.
“I’m sure he’s fine, he’ll come around eventually.”
-
One day after another, week after week, Cayde came in and didn't even look Andal’s way. Andal tried talking to Cayde over comms, but he never answered. He tried leaving messages for Sundance to relay to him, but he never got an answer from that, either. He was growing mentally and emotionally exhausted with all the fireteam casualties he’d seen in the past few days. Tikaani came out and made her way under his hood, nudging into his neck to show support. Andal brought one of his hands up to her, and cupped her in it.
“I know this is draining on you Andal, but one day, this will all pass,” Tikaani said briefly. Andal saw Cayde approach, with Tevis and Shiro not far behind.
“I know, it’s just a matter of time. Just gotta take everything one day at a time.”
Andal wouldn't even acknowledge Cayde anymore, as he walked past him on the other side of the war table. Tevis and Shiro arrived in the room a few moments later and headed towards Andal to turn in their reports.
Tevis spoke up first, “Andal, I need to show you something that I found out in the Cosmodrome, might be some old Golden Age tech.” Andal looked at him in confusion.
“...Why didn’t you just transmat it?”
“Look, if it’s junk, I can just cash it into the shipwright and get some extra Glimmer. If it is actually Golden Age tech, shouldn’t you be the person to come to with this?” Tevis shot back.
Andal sighed, “Fine, fine, lead the way.” All three of them started walking out of the war room and Cayde briefly glanced back towards them for just a second.
When they arrived in the Hangar, they headed towards Tevis’s ship. Once there, Tevis and Shiro turned around to face Andal.
“I noticed Cayde isn’t even speaking to you. How long has that been going on?” Shiro blurted out.
Andal was caught off guard, “Huh?”
Tevis crossed his arms, “Don’t play stupid Andal. Cayde’s never quiet for this long, and he sure as hell wouldn’t ignore the opportunity to talk to you.”
“That’s for me to worry about, not you guys,” Andal snapped back, “don’t let Cayde’s issue with me distract you guys, I’ll take care of it.”
Tevis gave Andal a scowl, then the sound of engines turned their attention, and they looked to see Cayde's ship taking off. Andal looked back towards the wall and rubbed the back of his neck before turning his back to Tevis and Shiro, and heading back to the war room.
-
Later in the evening, Andal was packing up his things for the night. He started making his way toward his apartment and took a look at the contrails in the sky from the ships crisscrossing the stratosphere. He got to his apartment and unlocked the door, immediately setting his things down next to it once he got inside. He opened the window and rubbed his tired eyes. He glanced over towards the guitar sitting on the stand next to his bed and made his way over to it. Picking it up and sitting down on his bed, he positioned his fingers on the frets and began to play.
He’d had this guitar for what felt like forever; he remembered finding it in its case, along with some new armor out on a scouting mission that his mentor, Tallulah Fairwind had sent him out on. After he got back to camp that night he’d brought it back out and inspected the strings for any type of damage. Besides the bit of tarnish, they were pretty well kept. It made him wonder if this guitar had belonged to someone who had died recently, due to the well-kept state it was in.
Tallulah was always playing cards with herself or someone at camp and always gave him shit for playing tunes instead of sharpening up his gambling and poker skills. Andal didn’t care; the way the strings vibrated when he plucked them, the way the sounds vibrated from the acoustic chamber inside the guitar, made him feel at peace. It was his way of destressing after a long day in the field. And soon enough, once he found his own pack within Tevis, Shiro, and Cayde, they all grew to appreciate his playing as well.
Just as quickly as he had been lost in thought, he was quickly startled by a loud thud against his door. He cautiously stood up off his bed and slowly made his way towards the door. He took a look through the peek hole and saw Cayde’s face squished against it, seemingly held there by someone. Andal unlocked the door and slowly opened it, obviously on guard for whoever was holding his boyfriend there against his will. Andal backed up as he opened the door, and Cayde fell into the apartment. He looked up and saw that Tevis was the one who had been holding him in place.
Tevis glared at the both of them, “Now the two of you figure your shit out so we don’t have to try and do it for you!" he shouted, and reached in to grab the doorknob and slammed the door closed, leaving Cayde on the floor, and Andal standing there even tenser than he already had been.
Cayde shyly looked around, taking in how much of a mess Andal’s apartment was. Bottles everywhere, scrunched up paper and maps tossed around haphazardly, leftovers seemingly left on the table for a few days.
“Looks like a Warbeast ran through here…”
Andal sighed and looked at the mess. "I’m well aware Cayde. I...I haven’t really had the time, been too exhausted after work. If I had known Tevis was gonna drop you off I would’ve tried to pick up a bit…”
Cayde chuckled, “Believe me, if I had known too, I wouldn’t be in my dirt-covered gear. Not like he gave me much of a choice.” They both laughed, and Andal smiled nostalgically, before looking back at Cayde, who seemed to be avoiding eye contact.
“...We need to talk.”
“I was afraid you were gonna say that…” Cayde murmured as he stood up. Andal ushered him to sit on the couch as he walked into his kitchen to grab a drink from the fridge.
Cayde forgot how comfortable Andal’s furniture was. The two of them had spent a good amount of time on this couch when they weren’t out in the field. Snuggling together during the Dawning, laughing together and retelling their favorite Crimson Doubles matches, as well as the days where one of them would just come sit down next to the other after a long day without saying anything and be comforted. Cayde’s attention was brought back to reality when Andal handed him something to drink. Beer. Cayde never understood why Andal would always offer it to him when he had said multiple times that it didn’t affect Exos the same way it did humans or Awoken. Maybe it was his way of being kind?
Regardless, if Andal was handing him a drink, then Andal for sure was having at least a few. Cayde took the beverage out of Andal’s hand and used the knife on his hip to pop off the bottle cap. Cayde felt Andal glaring at him and stiffened. Andal noticed and decided that he’d take the lead.
“What’s going on with you? You’re not talking to me, and hell, most of the time you won’t even look at me. Did you find more journal entries from your other lives? Something on Clovis Bray?”
Cayde didn't say anything, just pulled his knees to his chest. He caught a glance of Andal’s brows furrowing. “I get it. You keep personal stuff close to the chest. But you need to understand that your focus shouldn’t be on that when you’re out in the field. Do you have any idea how many fireteam casualties I’ve seen happen in the past few weeks? The last thing I could ever bear is seeing something happen to you, Tevis, and Shiro. We already lost Nian and Lush, I can’t lose you guys too.” Andal took in a deep breath and sighed. “It only takes one stupid mistake, like bringing out your Ghost too soon to bring everything to a screeching halt...”
Cayde didn't know why he felt so stunned. Andal had always been the type of guy to be upfront about problems and face them head-on, and as much as he hated saying it, Andal was perfect for the Vanguard - diplomatic, friendly, compassionate, and always trying his best to make sure everyone came out with something in their favor. He looked at Andal as he took a few sips from his drink, then dropped his gaze.
“It’s not any of those things.” Andal turned to face Cayde, concern written all over his face.
“Then what is it?”
“I just...I feel bad. Maybe bad isn’t the right word...guilty?” Andal’s face turned from concern to confusion.
“About what?”
Cayde set the bottle of beer down on the coffee table in front of them, "I shouldn't have even brought up the Dare. If I hadn't, ESPECIALLY when you were drinking, then you would still be able to be out there with us...with me…" Andal straightened up a bit.
"Wait, this whole thing of you avoiding me is because of our Dare?" Cayde broke eye contact with Andal again and readjusted his sitting position. “Cayde, you of all people should know that I never go back on my word, especially if it means I end up with the short end of the stick.”
“But-”
“But nothing! A lot of shit was going on then, and the actions that I took, and the consequences that occurred, are something for me to deal with. You can feel as bad as you want about it, but you shouldn’t. I’m the one in the Tower and even though I’m stuck here I feel like I can actually try and get the rest of the Vanguard to see what we saw when we were just scouts. Change things for the better, y'know?” Andal slowly scooched closer to Cayde and put his arms around him.
“And besides, someone had to do something about Taniks, dude was gonna end up killing a lot more Guardians if we had waited for the Vanguard and the Speaker to send Saint after him like we were hearing about.”
Cayde groaned and leaned into Andal. “I’m an idiot.”
Andal smiled and leaned back into Cayde, “A little bit, but you’re still my idiot.”
Cayde looked at Andal, “I’m sorry for avoiding you Andal, I-...”
“Don’t sweat it, but...if there’s something that’s bothering you, just promise me you’ll at least talk to me about it first.”
“...Promise.”
Andal pulled away and brought his hand up, cupping Cayde’s face and giving him the softest smile before planting a kiss on Cayde’s horn, “...I missed you.” Cayde came back in, and wrapped his arms around Andal.
“I missed you too.”