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“You’ve got to be kidding me?” TK jumps up from his seat at the table and starts pacing the length of the kitchen, hands clenching and unclenching. “You made me listen to your safe sex talk every year from age thirteen to nineteen and you don’t even know how to use a condom?”
“TK!” His parent’s voices come in unison, a mix between scolding and defensive.
“TK,” his dad tries again, voice softer like he’s trying to soothe a wild animal. “Can’t you just be happy for us? You always said you wanted to be a big brother, now’s your chance.”
“Yeah, when I was five! Not when I’m old enough to have kids of my own!” TK runs his hand over his head, he can’t believe this is happening, it must be some elaborate prank his parents are pulling. He waits for the ‘I gotcha’ but nothing comes.
“TK, sweetie,” his mom tries next. “I know it’s a little unexpected and maybe the timing isn’t great but it’s still happy news.”
“Is it?!” TK stares between them, he feels like he’s going insane. How can they possibly think this is a good idea.
“Hey,” Owen raises his voice, “don’t talk to your mother like that.”
“What? Like you do?” TK fires back. He knows he’s being childish and petty but he can’t bring himself to care in this moment.
“Ok,” Gwyn steps between them. “I think we all need to take a deep breath. TK I know it’s a bit of shock-”
“A bit of a shock! This is a magnitude seven earthquake!” TK shakes his head in disbelief, the house suddenly feels too small and he knows he needs to get out there before he really says something he’ll regret.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” he mutters mostly to himself before striding towards the front door. He can hear the echo of his parent’s voices calling his name as he slams the door shut behind him.
He takes a deep breath to try to calm himself but even the air betrays him. He wants the cold bite of a New York autumn but instead he gets the soupy warmth that is Austin. He’s struck by the largest wave of homesickness he’s experienced since moving to Texas, everything is crumbling down once again and he just wants to be home, wherever that is now. He reaches into his pocket to call for an Uber but comes up empty. Great, he’s left the house without a phone or wallet but there’s no way he’s going back in there. He releases a deep sigh and starts walking.
It’s over an hour later when he steps onto Carlos’ porch and lifts his hand to knock. The door swings open quicker than he had been anticipating to reveal a frantic Carlos.
“Oh thank god,” Carlos pulls him into a tight embrace.
“Not that I’m complaining-” TK winds his own arms around Carlos’ waist and leans more firmly into him. “-but this is not the greeting I was expecting.”
“Your parents called,” Carlos explains and TK can feel his expression darken. “They said you stormed out without your phone and that you were pretty upset.”
“So what?” TK pulls away putting distance between them. “Everyone was worried poor TK was going to relapse again? Can’t handle a disagreement with his parents? Well guess what, you need money to buy drugs and I don’t have my wallet either!”
“What?” Carlos reaches towards him once again but stops himself short. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s been over an hour, I thought something had happened to you.”
TK feels his shoulders slump and tears start to well in his eyes, he’s just so tired and now he feels guilty on top of that.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “It’s not you I’m mad at, I shouldn’t have yelled.”
“Come inside and tell me about it,” Carlos’ hands close the final few inches between them and grasps TK’s. He leads him through the threshold and gently pushes him to take a seat on the couch before heading to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of mineral water that he presses into TK’s now vacant hands.
“Did they tell you what the fight was about?” TK opens the bottle of water and takes a swing before closing it once again twisting it in his hands.
“No, they just said you were upset when you left and then they tried to call your phone but you had left it behind.” Carlos takes a seat beside him leaving enough space to let TK decide if he wants physical comfort or not.
“Well let me tell you the happy news,” TK starts sarcastically while tipping his head to lean against Carlos’ shoulder. “I’m going to be a big brother.”
“You’re kidding right?” Carlos turns his head down to look at TK’s face but doesn’t find a joking expression.
“That’s what I said when they told me,” TK sighs, dropping the water bottle in favour of grabbing for one of Carlos’ hands, slotting their fingers together. “Guess they really weren’t using any gloves, huh?”
Carlos can’t help but laugh at his words and suddenly TK finds himself joining in and then he can’t stop and before he knows it tears are streaming down his face. He tucks his head into Carlos’ neck, sobs wracking his body but still comforted by the warm weight of Carlos’ arms around him.
“They already screwed up one kid, I don’t get why they want another,” TK mutters quietly once he brings his crying under control.
“Hey,” Carlos tips his head up so he’s looking directly in his eyes wiping at the tear tracks with his thumbs. “You are not screwed up.”
TK scoffs, “Oh come on Carlos, I’m an addict who probably only has a job because his captain is his dad.”
“That’s not true,” Carlos argues. “You’re a damn good firefighter, any station would jump at the chance to have you.”
“Maybe that’s why they want a second kid,” TK continues ignoring Carlos’ words. “Maybe it’s not them that screwed up, maybe it’s me.”
“Stop,” Carlos gives a squeeze to the back of his neck. “You are not a screw up and I don’t take kindly to people bad mouthing the man I love. If you keep going like that I’ll have to put you under arrest.”
TK’s lips twitch but he doesn’t quite manage a smile. “I just don’t want to go back there and deal with them going on about nurseries and baby showers and whatever.”
“Then don’t.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on going back tonight,” TK looks at him hopefully before sighing. “But I know I have to go back home eventually and I don’t mean to be a brat about it but I can’t fake being happy about this for the next nine months.”
“Of course you can stay the night,” Carlos brings his hands down to hold both of TK’s. “But I meant don’t go back, stay here with me, move in with me. That is, if you want?”
TK stares at him in shock, holding his breath for a second before releasing it. He brings his forehead to meet Carlos’ closing his eyes as he lets himself imagine it, waking up every morning with Carlos in the same bed, coming home from a 24 hour shift to Carlos, weekend visits to the farmers market. He imagines it and his heart aches with how badly he wants it.
“I would love that but what about your parents?” TK whispers, his heart sinking when he realizes Carlos is probably about to take his offer back.
“Don’t worry about them,” Carlos squeezes his hands in reassurance. “Nothing stays the same right? I think your parents proved that to us.”
“Carlos, no,” TK pulls back. “I meant it when I said as long as you need.”
“My parents don’t live here,” Carlos reminds him. “I’m not ready to let them know everything but I am ready for this, if you are too?”
“Yeah, I am,” TK manages a wobbly smile this time. “I should warn you though, I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before.”
“Me either,” Carlos confesses.
“Guess we’ll have to figure it out together.”
“Guess we will.”
TK watches the smile on Carlos’ face grow and feels a bit of weight lift off his chest. He still needs to figure out this whole mess with his parents and his potential new sibling but he has gained at least one answer tonight. Home is wherever Carlos is.
“C’mon, let’s go to bed. You look like you could sleep for a week.” Carlos tugs gently on his hands helping him stand.
“I should call my parents,” TK hesitates.
“I’ll text them to let them know you’re here, you can call them tomorrow,” Carlos gives another tug toward the stairs. “You need sleep.”
“I love you,” TK blurts out.
“I love you too,” Carlos smiles and leans in giving him a lingering kiss. “Now c’mon time for bed.”
TK is feeling lighter than he has all evening since his parents broke their news. He’s not sure how things will play out with his parents, if they’ll stop and listen to his concerns, maybe actually pay some attention to the child they already have but he’s sure Carlos will be there every step of the way watching his back and loving him through it all.