Chapter Text
Sunny couldn’t give up. Not here, not now, not ever. For her sake. For Mari’s sake - he had to push through this. Getting up again, he looked Omori directly in the eyes - his alter self, his construct, his familiar, his warden - and readied his bow. He could hear the music that he and Mari had prepared for the recital. The first few notes… A pit of sadness formed in his chest as he heard the music once again. This time, without any hesitation, he started to play along. All of the good memories filtered through White Space once again, completely unfiltered in the void surrounding them.
Omori stood there watching, raising his knife to prepare for a blow that he thought was to come. He watched as Sunny got back up despite his devastating blows. It was all for her of course. For a woman that had long since died and rotted in the ground. They locked eyes - his real self, his creator, his master, his prisoner - and could only watch as Sunny raised the bow on his instrument. The music that was the entire reasoning for this confrontation, that cursed recital, it echoed through White Space. He played emotions and events once forgotten by himself, memories of joy and sadness altogether. And although they were aged, these proved to be an overwhelming feeling as both struggled to stand.
All of their friends - the real friends Sunny had, not the constructs Omori was forced to put up with all these years. Every small joy, every mistake, every rainy day, every single moment up until the incident played back as clear as day. Omori tried to brace himself, but felt himself significantly weakened. Falling to one knee, his face dropped into a grimace, trying to get back up with his knife still in hand.
Sunny gave a sad, sympathetic glance and offered a hand to Omori. For a moment, Omori thought of slapping the hand away. But he took it - and was immediately pulled upwards, Sunny dropping his violin to pull Omori into a tight embrace. Omori leaned into Sunny’s shoulder, hearing a barely audible ‘thank you’ as exhaustion overtook him. He glanced around the familiar, cold space one last time.
Even if Sunny thought he knew what he was doing, Omori still had a duty despite his host’s betrayal. He could still see Something in the distance, his one goal to repress and keep it hidden was no longer fulfilled; it’s eye met his and with the last ounce of will he had in him, he reached out to alter things ever so slightly. The image of a photo album briefly flashed to him, red hands erased some pictures, rearranged the others. The album was incomplete, mixed up, he had to hope it was enough. With that, his body was torn to shreds. Little wisps of black darkness dissipating into the air.
Sunny now alone in White Space, glanced at the gleaming blade that was now in his hand, his bright face a contrast to the cold monochrome of what he had called home for years. It was time to wake up and tell the truth, and he knew there was only one way to escape from his own mind. He took the knife, facing the point towards his chest, and with the steely determination that only came through years of this, slammed it downwards, into his flesh.
Sunny found himself lying in a bright room, the smell of sanitizer filling his nose. For a moment he thought from the fluorescent light above him that he was still in White Space, but upon finally moving his head - his vision was cut in half, he noted - he could see objects and color. Blurry pastels surrounded him, a green armchair, the IV drip that must have been inside him earlier. Just from those, he knew he was alive and firmly in reality.
In and itself, that was a terrifying thought. He was now well acquainted with the horrors of reality, pain, hatred….Mari’s death….it briefly made him pause. He could always lay back in the bed, fall asleep again, no one would question it….he couldn’t do it though. He also had seen how good people could be again. That group hug, the sleepover, eating burgers at Kel and Hero’s house. Even the beauty of the plants surrounding him……..wait why were they there?
They were mostly flowers spread, everywhere throughout the room, all shapes and sizes. Judging by the notes he could spot near them, they were from people he had reconnected with or met for the first time over his brief stint back outside. The sight was nice, it reassured him that others still cared about him, but he had a goal now. He couldn’t just sit here and stare at them.
Despite the ache in his muscles and the dull pain in his face, he forced his weary body out of the stiff bed and stumbled towards the door to the hall. Throwing it open and glancing down each side of the passage, he saw no one that could help him - no nurses or doctors. He was all alone for now. A chill briefly passed over him as the thought of ghosts entered his mind….after all plenty of people would have died in a hospital right? With that he heard the slap of feet against the ground right behind him.
He spun around, nearly feeling like he’d throw up from the exertion. There was nothing behind him of course, briefly causing a burst of panic, him having to take a few deep breaths, calming down. Trying not to just curl up in a ball and sob on the ground. He slowly kept on moving, his friends were ahead, but he was alone right now.
That was fine, he could do this on his own. Seeing that the hall came to a dead-end to his right, he limped down towards his left, slowly finding his footing and pushing himself off of the wall. At the cross junction he could faintly see the outline of the friends in his dreams; the light pastels and purple glow reminding him of a happier time. They looked towards him and waved him over running up towards his left.
In a daze he took a moment to look towards the left; a door was open at the top of a staircase, and a sign read ‘ROOF ACCESS’- Sunny shook his head at though, not now, feeling the ache from his eye only worsen from the motion - or rather his eye socket. He was sure Basil did a number on him, the glint of the sharp tool hurtling towards him briefly popping into his addled mind, but that didn’t matter. None of it did - only the truth mattered.
Turning the other way he could see a black familiar shadow step down the hallway. Stranger, the one who had helped lead him to the truth, and it seems like he still knew where to go. The shadow form of his friend always seemed to know where to go. Following along in limping footsteps after him, Stranger turned into a doorway. He could briefly hear a noise of confusion. Kel, saying in a slightly hush tone.
“Did any of you see that shadow? I swear, that wasn’t just a nurse passing by! No, I am not just imagining because of Orange Joe withdrawal!”
He could faintly hear other whispers with him, though far more relaxed and hushed than him. He couldn’t quite make out the words, but the softer tone of Aubrey and the steady tone of Hero floated on over. With a little burst of speed carrying him forward, legs screaming out in pain as he went forward, he threw himself into the doorways. Eyes scanning the whole room.
And there they all were. All four of them - Basil in bed with the other three surrounding them. Hero, standing over him, seeming to be checking if an IV was hooked up right, Aubrey’s eyes had now fixated on Sunny, seemingly turning her head in worried confusion, while Kel tapped Hero’s shoulder. Causing him to turn over in his own shocked look.
Despite the dryness in his throat, he needed to speak - perhaps for the first time in years, now that he thought of it - he NEEDED to say something before his will left him. Before he broke down and lost what strength he had in his body. Sunny persisted through the utter terror that was slowly creeping up his spine, and with a shaking breath said those fateful words:
“I have to tell you something.”
That fateful night, just before the recital, he had gotten into an argument with his sister. He thought the recital was stupid and unnecessary - that this was some sort of shallow attempt to fill a hole in her personality. He didn’t want her to force him along anymore, it hurt to keep playing, it hurt to force himself away from his friends just to satisfy her.
She screamed at him, defending herself, saying he always wanted to play with her before, so why couldn’t he just do it now, and with that he ran. Up the stairs, locking himself in his room, slumping on his bed with the violin There had been a few minutes where he thought to apologize for his outburst - when he glanced out the window that’s when he saw her bending the jump rope into a curve. One he recognized from a familiar game…..hangman.
He rushed down the stairs, tripping at the very bottom step, the fall flinging the violin out of his grasp, it hurt inside to see it break, but he had to keep going. Abandoning the tool, sprinting past the broken wooden pieces on the ground, running despite the soreness in his legs from the fall, he sprinted as fast as he could to the backyard - but it was too late.
There she was, hanging lifelessly from the tree. Body slowly swaying in the wind, her slack body painting itself over and over in his head. That beautiful black hair covering her face, the cold look of death staring at him through it. He was rooted in place, simply forced to stare at her. It felt so wrong, just to see her there.
The sister he had loved, the sister he had looked up to for so long, dead because of him. Because of him just refusing to do one thing for her. She was dead, because of him. Her eye seemed to accuse him, to scream at him that he should just join her. Go find another rope, and swing with her.
The sound of the screen door slowly pushing further open behind him rang out, Basil having arrived just moments later, from the look in his eyes, Sunny knew he had seen it too. For four years he had tried to cope with his failure to save his sister by forgetting what had happened, always telling himself that he had never seen it, never seen her looking back at him, but only by confronting the truth could he and Basil move on.
For a few, long, agonizing moments, there was silence in the hospital room, the truth finally revealed to all of them. It felt like months passed, years, within those seconds. Years spent in his home, dreaming, all just trying to run away. It felt like they slipped away underneath those words. Years lost, but potentially much more happy ones gained.
There was a heavy pressure in his chest at the thought that they would hate him. He failed to be perfect, to do what Mari had wanted, and it hurt her….it hurt her so much she took her own life. It was all his fault for not being good enough, for being let down, for stressing her. It was all up to seeing if they hated him for his failure too. Sunny kept his eye glued to the floor, the thought that this might be how he sees for the rest of the life settling in. As he waited for the verdict from his friends.
Hero was completely silent during Sunny’s confession. He watched the pale boy, his mind racing to make sense of what he was told. He knew Sunny was hurt by his sister’s death, but he didn’t know that Sunny was there when it happened. The poor boy must feel that he was responsible for Mari’s death. Just like Hero had felt for the last 4 years. If only he could have seen that Mari was hurting... The thought of her laugh, the last time he had talked to her just being causal banter over food... He hadn’t noticed her pain then, but Sunny, Sunny was obvious.
Hero knew he had to help, to say something to the boy…..To the person who was a second brother to him, the thought brought to mind the fight he had with Kel, the second-worst day of his life. He hoped this day wouldn’t usurp it. Hero let out a small sigh, walked over to Sunny, and knelt down to be closer to the shorter boy. He put a hand on Sunny’s shoulder as he tried to think of what to say.
“Sunny… I’m sorry we didn’t try to help you with this sooner.”
He watched the boy’s expression carefully, looking for any sign of pushing him too far before continuing. “I know how you feel. I couldn’t help her either” Hero wanted to say more to Sunny, tell him about his own fears, how he felt he had failed for so long, but his mind can’t think up the right words.
It felt like he wouldn’t ever get that quite right, Mari had apparently not trusted him enough to talk to him about her issues, Sunny had wasted away so much, turning into the skinny pale boy before him, and then there was Basil. Hero knew what Basil had been intending to do as soon as he saw those shears in his unconscious hand. There was no need for plants to be pruned in that room, the point however looked uncomfortably sharp. Slowly letting go of Sunny’s shoulder, he made his way back to Basil’s bedside.
Aubrey sprung into action next, thoughts racing as she tried to grapple with that mental image.
“Sunny... I...”
She paused, clearly struggling to find the words to say. Her demeanor had completely changed from the tough girl Sunny had seen in the three days prior. Now turning into just a worried friend, who wanted to help, who still cared about him despite the time.
“All the pain you must have been through… I can’t even begin to fathom it. And to think I thought you just weren’t there for me. Heh.”
She walked closer and put a hand on Sunny’s shoulder, startling him, his breath getting a bit faster for a moment before he drew in a few deep breaths. Seemingly resisting the urge to run, she couldn’t blame him, her head had become well acquainted with his in a few recent brawls.
“Hey,” she began, “just know… I still care about you, okay?”
After waiting for a signal of confirmation from Sunny, received in a small nod, barely imperceptible if she hadn’t had childhood experience in looking for his signals. She backed away, joining Hero watching over Basil. She felt…. terrible for him…. Mari…. sweet Mari…. had screamed at him? What was wrong with her? Her heart in turmoil she glanced over to Kel.
Kel was still thinking about the whole situation, how Sunny had described it... It reminded him of fears he had had about Hero. His brother didn’t seem like the type to hurt himself, but that year of letting himself fall apart had made him worry. The thought of arriving back home after a long day of basketball and seeing him swinging from a ceiling fan was one that scared him so often at that age.
That was why the screaming, the anger at him, had been worth it in the end to Kel. If his brother was showing him how he felt, then he could help him out. There was no screaming here though, it was always hard to understand how Sunny was feeling, but even with his admittedly meager bit of attentiveness, he could still tell how afraid he was. The reassurance from Aubrey and Hero had helped him relax, just a bit, but he needed more than just a shoulder pat and words.
Charging forward, he quickly swept Sunny up in a hug, the thought of maybe not moving the injured boy too much entering his head, but he was already committed. Grabbing him by the shoulders in a tight hug, briefly lifting him up and squeezing him.
“Sunny! We are always going to be here for you dude, even if you do move away, I will send you a million letters! I will dip into the orange joe funds to buy more stamps! There is no worry about telling us this ok? Nothing is going to change between us, except maybe me checking in on you even more than I was trying to the last few years.”
He meant those words, well and truly, he didn’t want to leave Sunny alone again for so long. The first day he had left. He even had a knife! It had come in useful, but still, knives were dangerous! He clearly shouldn’t have been cooped up alone for so long! Kel half-regretted the idea he came up with once of throwing rocks at his window till he agreed to go to Hobeez like old times….but forcing him probably wouldn’t have been the best idea.
Regardless! That was in the past now, the past of three days and a bit more ago! Giving Sunny the biggest smile he could muster, trying not to think too hard about Mari. He would lower the boy down to the ground, he seemed a bit shaken up from being used as a teddy bear, but it was obvious the hug had helped ease him. Plus Kel had done it without splitting back open any wounds! Score one to him!
Now, he could see Basil slowly sitting up on his pillow. Blinking the light out of his eyes as he fully opened them, it seemed Basil wanted to say something. Resisting the urge to take a bow, he sprang back, leaving a nice open column of space for Sunny to approach the hospital bed with.
At each interaction, Sunny felt the fear and tension in his chest slowly abate - mildly replaced by the pain of being lifted by Kel’s strong arms, but even that too he could bear. Once he was set down and noticed Basil sitting up, he walked over to Basil. He would forgive Sunny for telling the truth, right? It was for the best, that they knew what had really happened - that Sunny was the cause of Mari’s death, that Basil had to witness what he witnessed. It was his fault, but now he could fully own up to it.
Grabbing a nearby chair, surprised no one else had already taken it, he sat down next to Basil. Letting him relax his weary body just a little bit, resisting the urge to fall back asleep, worried over what he might see if he does, he leaned in close, listening to what Basil had to say.
All throughout this, Basil had listened, the creak of the door opening, his own excited, worried breaths, as he heard Sunny begin to speak. It all seemed too good to be true, Sunny was going to tell them, Basil wouldn’t be forced to do it, he wouldn’t need to keep covering for what….Something did.
Thinking that set off a bomb in his brain, a flourish of pain as his thoughts warred with another…He kept thinking, and thinking….what if it was Sunny? He knew Sunny could fight, get angry, get sad…..panic, and hurt people. Basil could as well….So what if Sunny….pushed her? He would just have to listen closer, and see what he said.
Tuning back into the explanation, Basil’s heart plummeted. The joy, the relief, the lifting of his guilt he could feel….it wasn’t real. Not anymore, because Sunny hadn’t talked about what they had done, not one peep. She….she didn’t hang herself….so why was he saying she did? Basil could still feel the plastic in his hands, twisting it, bending it around her neck…..it couldn’t have been her.
He had just….lied to them all….acting like he told some great truth, when it was just another lie…..So why did he seem so much more relieved? Why was he able to take their hugs and kindness? Was…..was Basil wrong?
Had he been thinking wrong all this time? For anyone else he would have doubted it...but it was Sunny. Sunny was always so honest when he spoke, but all Basil could think of when he thought of that day was the cold weight of her body in his hands. The stillness in her as they nearly dropped her when moving down the stairs. The trembles of the body as Sunny couldn’t stop shaking.
That was real…..right? He couldn’t have imagined that, why would he imagine that? Was he that screwed up? That much of a monster he pushed everyone he loved away….for no reason? Was this all his fault for just being an idiot?
Everything was his fault, he knew that, so why would he expect something different here? Sunny though….Sunny was perfect, simple, smart, caring. Sunny was who Basil had always wanted to be, and if Sunny said it was the truth….Basil would believe him. Even if he remembered different….Sunny was who he would trust.
It felt like teeth were wrapped around his neck, clenching down on his throat, ready to mangle him and tear him apart. Yet his throat moved, brushing against it... He met Sunny’s eyes. He had to focus on them, he had to keep his gaze locked on Sunny because all he could see behind his best friend was the same pupil he knew he saw four years ago.
“I… I am so glad you f-finally said something Sunny…”
Say the truth, Basil, ignore what you feel inside, ignore what you think you know, trust Sunny. He is your best friend, and if he is saying it, it has to be right.
“I wanted to say it for so long… but whenever I wanted to speak… all I could see was her hanging behind you Sunny….”
All he could see was Sunny being sent away, thrown in jail, Su-Something had killed Mari. He was going to be in trouble if they ever told, he would never ever see Sunny again. He had to go with what he knew was right though, what Sunny was saying. That whole scenario….wasn’t real….just something from his brain to repress the truth...right? It was his fault for not remembering what Sunny was saying.
“Sunny, thank you.”
It hurt to say those words most, but why did it hurt so much? Sunny was his best friend, he knew what had happened better than Basil ever would. Basil, was a stupid, lying, monster.
His face strained, pulling his mouth upwards. His whole body ached in resistance.
Basil smiled towards his best friend.
And Sunny smiled back. The brilliant radiance of the sun couldn’t match his smile. It was warm, full of relief - but it also felt blinding, suffocating, to his best friend looking up at it. Sunny didn’t realize - how could he when the unspoken remained hidden - that Basil suffered so. He was just relieved, so relieved, to see his closest friend finally happy and accepting of the truth. Now they could heal. Now they could move on from this entire nightmare.
Finally…
Everything is going to be okay.