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San always thought that nothing would happen in the temple of the great goddess. That as a priest of the temple he was safe. He was safe from the looks, the crude words thrown at him since before he could understand what they mean.
But then, on one stormy night...he found he was wrong. A man sneaked into the temple under the disguise of needing shelter and ruined the young boy. He ruined his innocence, his body and his soul. And after everything was done, the man just ran away, leaving San in his torn clothing, crying and pathetic.
But the great goddess always liked San. And so she gave him what she called a gift. She turned San’s deep brown eyes into eyes of a snake that could turn anyone who looked at San into pure stone. The goddess called it a gift but San felt it was more of a curse.
He left the temple, apologising to the goddess, saying he wasn’t worthy enough of being her priest anymore, and secluded himself in a cave on the edge of his village. There he could hunt at night where nobody saw him, gather berries and fruits. From what was left of his robes he made a blindfold, tying it around his eyes and promising himself to never tell anyone about what happened.
And as a lone wolf San lived for he didn’t know how long. He just knew time passed as he watched his village turn into a city. A city with brave warriors and great stories. And he wondered if he himself, turned into one such story.
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Yeosang always wanted to be a warrior. As a child it was a simple dream, as any child would have. To follow in the footsteps of those they admired, of those the child deemed great and honourable and worth of their time.
But as the young boy grew older, he didn’t grow out of this want to fight, to protect. With everything he got to understand, he yearned for it more and more. And so he trained, in the academy and on his own, with wooden replicas and his first. His favourite weapon was the spear, long and perfect for both long range and medium range attacks.
Then at the age of 18, when he was about to join the warriors two things happened that completely changed Yeosang’s life.
His city got attacked by a terrifying monster.
And he got a vision from the great goddess herself.
The first was simpler to explain: A beast, bigger than any bear Yeosang has ever seen, showed up and attacked his city seemingly out of nowhere. It could tear people in half, bite off chunks of buildings and not one of the strategies the city knew could kill the monster. It’s skin was too tough to pierce with swords and spears, it appeared immune to any poison.
The second was more...complicated. A few days after the beast appeared, Yeosang was at the back of his house, training when he suddenly felt faint. Thinking it was dehydration or tiredness, he went to sit down in his house. As soon as his feet touched the floor of his room, he fell unconscious.
In his dream (or what he assumed was a dream) he was on a field and in the distance he could see some kind of a cave. The blond boy tried to move but found himself frozen to the ground, not able to move his legs in any way.
“Don’t be scared, my brave one” A distant voice called out to him. Yeosang was confused and slightly scared at the voice. He never heard anything like it before: deep yet carrying a softness of cotton blanket, both old everlasting yet light and airy. It made him curious, wanting to know what the voice wanted to say.
“I, am the one you call The Great Goddess. I appear before you to send you an important message”
“But...you’re a voice? I don’t see anything besides this cave looking rock in the distance” Yeosang said, unsure of himself. Was it really the Great Goddess he was speaking to?
I have no form you could understand my brave one. The Goddess said before it seemed like she physically brought the cave closer to Yeosang. He still couldn’t see what was inside of it despite his curiosity.
Your mission, young warrior is to find this very cave. Inside you will find what is needed to defeat the monster ravaging your community. You can only take what you trust the most and go alone.
“But how will I find the cave? The forests around the city are old and massive oh my Goddess. Is there any way to ensure I won’t get lost?” Yeosang asked. He only ever ventured into the forest part closest to the city, to gather berries or search for rabbits.
The forest will guide you, my brave one. You have to begin your journey at the next sun’s rise. I hope this mission brings you everything you ever needed. And be careful with the forest spirits, they like to mess around with humans like you.
After the voice finished speaking, Yeosang found himself on an edge of a cliff before suddenly falling and just before he hit the ground, he woke up and looked around.
He was in his room again. Lying on the ground, but his hand held a small sprig off of a bush he never saw before, with tiny white flowers on it.
Standing up and looking out the window, still with the tiny flower twig in hand, he noticed that it was darker than before.
“Next Sun’s rise, huh?” He said to himself, looking at the flowers. “Better get everything ready then”
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San could feel that something was about to change his life; for better or for worse he didn't know.
The animals were more restless, the water never warm and the inside of his cave seemed more devoid of comfort than usual. He wondered, what was happening, were gods playing with him?
But then he heard about the beast ravaging the nearby village and killing everyone. He was saddened but the only thing he could do was pray.
And so he prayed to the great Goddess for a solution. For something he could do to help. Maybe he could use his curse to freeze the beast? He didn't know for sure if it would work, he hadn't seen the beast at all. He just knew it was big and Terrifying from what the people in the forest said.
One day after his daily praying session, he heard an unusual sound near his cave. It sounded like someone was trying to get through the bushes and trees surrounding it.
San took a deep breath and went out of his cave. He listened to the sounds of the intruder and tried to silently move to the centre of the sounds.
When he localized the sounds, he waited to see if it was an animal or a human.
He heard a quiet "oh my goddess" and grimaced. Which human dared to cross the border to his cave and say the goddess's name in vain?
He decided the best option would be to attack and that's what he did. He leaped out of his hiding spot and quickly tried to overwhelm the human.
He felt a weight under him and heard the human groan.
"Hey! Get off of me!" A male voice called out. It was soft and deep but San could hear the man struggle.
"First tell me who are you and what are you doing here" he said, looking straight (or what he assumed was straight) at the male he pinned to the ground.
"I was sent here by the goddess! She told me to find this cave and that something or someone will help me kill the beast!" The male said, a little louder than San would prefer.
His words made him curious. He slowly let go of the man, letting him free. He sat on the ground and stretched his arms.
"So my prayers have worked. Please come inside my cave, we have a lot to discuss. But don't dare touch anything or try running off with anything. I can hear you and I will hurt you" He said to the male and went to his cave, happy that he heard the stranger walk after him.
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After walking into the cave, the two men started talking and sharing their thoughts on the situation.
"I honestly don't know how many days it has been since I left my home. The only thing I knew was that the forest would guide me. And I somehow ended up here. I didn't mean to trespass, truly. I just noticed that this cave looked like the one from my vision and wanted to check it out. I thought the bushes were just the forest's way of protecting it" Yeosang said, looking at San and bowing his head slightly.
"I am certainly surprised that what the great sent me after my prayers is another human being. Maybe she thought you could help me somehow." San said, head turned in the direction of Yeosang's voice.
"What has happened to you if I may ask?" The young warrior asked, curiosity clearly heard in his voice. It was one of the things that were intriguing him from the start about San. Why was he wearing a blindfold? Was he blinded?
"I am cursed, Warrior. You shall hear no more about me" San said before clearing his throat. "So the Goddess sent you here because I'm supposed to help you fight the beast?"
"Well...The Goddess just said that whatever is in this cave will help me. And you live in it." Yeosang said, yawning softly. He didn't realise he was that tired until actually sitting down, even if it was a piece of fur in a cave and not bare ground.
"You shall rest young warrior. Tomorrow we will talk about what you need to do to fight the beast" San said, his voice softer and more... comfortable than before.
And Yeosang couldn't help but nod, lying down and falling asleep.
Yeosang found himself standing next to the cave in his dream. He was confused why he was dreaming about it but then heard a familiar voice
"Congratulations young warrior. You've found the cave. Now you have to go back with my priest to your village and fight the beast" The Goddess said, her voice echoing through the space.
"How do I convince him to go with me? And how long will it take?" Yeosang asked, curious. He didn't want to spend too much time going back or convincing San since the life of his village was at stake.
"My priest demands no convincing to start the journey. But to finish it. When he deems it safe, you will find the beast and get rid of it" The Goddess called out and then it was as if everything disappeared.
Yeosang was enveloped in silence, white silence before something or rather someone woke him up.
Yeosang opened his eyes to San softly shaking his shoulder. The warrior let out a sleepy groan and pulled himself up.
San waited until Yeosang sat up fully to look at him and give him a small sack. "Here. You can tie this around your waist. It has a water container and some berries. We should be able to go in a few moments since the sun is almost up"
Yeosang was confused by San's quick reaction. But then he remembered the words of the Goddess demands no convincing to start the journey. That makes it slightly easier He thought and stood up, wiping his pants and tying the sack around his waist as told.
He noticed that San had a similar sack tied around him but his was slightly bigger and looked heavier.
After some waiting in silence, San walked out of the cave and then called out for Yeosang.
"The sun is there! We can start our journey" He called and the warrior quickly walked out, amazed at how San figured it out.
"How did you know it was sunrise now?" He asked, curious to know how the blind man could know.
"It gets warmer on my skin the higher the sun is. When It's just barely warm like now, I know that it started rising up" San explained and started walking through the bushes, Yeosang humming and nodding, following after him.
He didn't think his journey back home would start right away like that. And oh what journey it was.
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At the start of their little "adventure" to Yeosang's village, San was skeptical. How could this one lean feeling warrior help his village? And was San needed only because of his curse? What did he get out of it?
But as their long walk progressed, San found Yeosang's actions towards him incredibly kind. And not only towards him: Yeosang as a person seemed to be a very kind person.
For example, on their first night, they were caught in the rain and couldn't find shelter. When Yeosang finally found a tree with thick enough branches so that most of the rain went around them, he let San sit in the middle of the dry spot. Only after touching Yeosang's arm much later, did he realise one side of the warrior was getting rained on.
But it wasn't just that. When they wanted to catch fish in the nearby river, Yeosang led San to a spot where he spotted a few fishes but let San fish on his own, only guiding him to better spots when he noticed that the ones San stood didn't have any more fish.
This made San feel appreciated in a way he never felt before: seen and helped but not looked as a baby or a burden. As a person who just needed to be put on the right path.
Yeosang was also incredibly kind to animals and plants. He only hunted one deer who was alone and hurt. But before that he prayed to the Goddess for a good life for the rest of the deers in the forest and killed the animal very quickly.
He made sure to not step on any flower patches or berry patches. San knew that because of the amount of "Please move slightly to the left" or "make a big step right now, we don't want bees to lose their flowers" he heard every day.
Yeosang was just...a really nice person that respected San as an individual too. He shared things about his childhood, never asking San to share and humming in engagement when San actually shared something about his previous life living in the temple.
What was most important: he never asked about the blindfold again. Over the course of the journey, San had to wash his blindfold in the river water. Without being told to do so, Yeosang always looked away or wandered away from San during that time, respecting his privacy yet being close enough that he could help San if need arose.
San...San admired that. It made his heart full, his stomach warm and his head full of the sound of his warm words and soft touches. He didn't really know what those feelings were but he knew they could turn into something much more than just admiration.
Then they were at their last stretch. Yeosang claimed that the village was there, just behind the trees they were currently resting at. He seemed happy, eager to find a way to kill the beast.
But San wasn't. He didn't want this...this adventure of theirs to end. After spending time with Yeosang, he didn't want to go back to his cave. He didn't want to be alone again, after knowing how it felt to spend time with another human especially when that human was Yeosang. He was starved for affection.
So he stalled. He refused to move, he ignored Yeosang while trying to figure out his feelings. He felt bad but also justified in keeping Yeosang away from the village: what if Yeosang gets killed by the beast? What if something other happens to him?
No. San didn't want to think about what could happen to Yeosang. What could happen to himself once he stepped foot into the village. The rational part of his brain knew that the man who hurt him was long dead but the anxious part of it, the repressed part told him there were many others like him. That it could happen again.
He didn't realise he was crying until he felt someone dab a piece of cloth on his cheeks. He pushed them away, not wanting anyone to touch him right now. He was disgusting, used after all.
"Okay. But can you breathe with me?" A soft voice spoke out. He barely Registered it at Yeosang's voice. Breathing. He could try that.
And so San breathed in and out with Yeosang's exaggerated ones until he felt himself calming down.
"Are you okay? Can I touch you now?" Yeosang asked gently and San felt himself cry again. But this time because of how gentle Yeosang was. He didn't ask why or what caused San to act like this. He just asked about his well being, didn't pry into the details.
San nodded softly and Yeosang wiped his cheeks from the tears softly. Didn't hug him, didn't grab his hands. Just gentle, rhythmic dabs of cloth on his cheeks.
And then they just sat in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable but it was filled with unsaid words and feelings.
"Do you want to know how I got cursed?" San asked, wanting to fill the silence. He wanted, needed to get his feelings out. After so many years. And Yeosang...Yeosang was probably the only person San felt comfortable around.
The warrior himself didn't say anything. Somehow he felt that he needed to give San the space and time for his own story.
"You know I was a priest of the Great Goddess. Spent all my time tending to the fire and the altar, praying and enjoying what simple life I had.
One day I noticed this man, dressed in torn clothing. It was raining so I invited him into the temple, with the thought of giving him some water and letting him stay until the rain went away. What I was taught and raised to do: help those in need.
But instead I was defiled. Used. Played with and left in the temple, crying and feeling useless. Feeling like I betrayed the Goddess. She appeared to me and said she has a gift for me." With those words, San grabbed his blindfold and took it off, keeping his eyes closed.
"This… gift was turning my eyes into those of a snake. Not only that but anything I look at, anything that looks into my eyes gets turned into stone. That's why the Goddess led you to me. She probably wants me to use my curse to freeze the beast and then I'm back to living a recluse in a tiny cave."
Yeosang slowly crouched in front of San and held his face. Then he gently kissed each of his eyes.
"Thank you for sharing your story with me, oh my dear San. I'm sure that has been on your mind for your entire life and I can't imagine how it feels to live with that. But you're still there. You live and you've adapted. You're strong, you're capable and I think the Goddess led you to me because she know that I could only benefit from having such wise and great person next to me" Yeosang said and although San couldn't see it through his closed eyes, He could hear Yeosang's gentle smile in his voice.
Those kind words made something in San break. He felt himself cry again but his tears weren't normal tears then, he could feel it. He couldn't see but somehow he knew they were red like the blood and guilt of that fateful night, like the anger he felt at everything at that time; himself, the Goddess, the man who hurt him. Then they turned darker, like his desperation, his loneliness and trauma.
Yeosang watches as San's tears slowly pooled under the man, turning into a puddle of what looked like poison. But he had the feeling they would need it later and so, he grabbed his water flask and put it near the puddle and as if pulled in by gravity, the tears trickled into the flask.
Soon, San's tears turned clear once again. He felt as if something was stuck in his eyes and rubbed them with his hands. Out of instinct, he opened his eyes and gasped. In front of him was Yeosang, putting his flask in his bag.
The warrior then turned to look at him and smiled. Simply smiled at San and the man could feel himself smile as well.
"Your eyes are very pretty" Yeosang simply said and San knew at this moment that he could spend all his time with Yeosang at his side.
Sadly they still had a beast to kill. Yeosang insisted that San stay behind and wait. But San refused, saying it was his fight as much as it was Yeosang's. For Yeosang the beast was simply that: a beast ravaging his village.
But for San the beast symbolised everything he wanted to forget and everything he needed to do to move on: from his curse, his alone life. He knew he would never get rid of his trauma but this was a good way to symbolically kill the man who gave it to him in the first place.
The two men agreed on going together, hand in hand. Supporting one another.
After they found the beast, Yeosang distracted it and threw the flask with San's tears in it to San who opened it and poured it over the beast. It immediately started melting into the ground together with San's regrets and feelings.
"You did it. You killed the beast" Yeosang said and smiled at San, holding his arm. And for the first time, San could look at Yeosang's face and smile.
"No. We did it. " He said, relieved.
He knew they both had a long way to go now. But San was sure one thing: the feelings they had were surely on the right path to love.