Work Text:
sitting out snowstorms is probably one of the shittiest things about this race - and that's including all those times they've nearly died or that one time gyro got the runs and they had to keep stopping so he could run behind the nearest rock and whine about there not being any toilet paper. johnny hadn't thought it could get any shittier, but life apparently likes to go out of its way to prove him wrong
the second day into their enforced rest period, someone bangs loudly on the cabin door. very loudly, and with just enough angry "i'm the owner of this cabin you shits better get out" that gyro grabs one of his steel balls before opening the door
it isn't the cabin owner. it's much worse than that
"fuck" diego brando says
for a moment or two, things get pretty tense - johnny readies his fingernails, gyro's grip on his steel ball changes slightly, and diego's lips start to stretch-
but then he flinches, shuddering, and huffs and mutters "shit" in an undertone
"what do you want" johnny asks, not lowering his hands
dio laughs mockingly and gestures behind himself, where the snow and wind still rages. "isn't that obvious, johnny?"
"gotcha there" gyro mutters. he moves away from the door. after a beat he asks "find the shed?"
dio tentatively crosses the threshold, eyes focused on johnny. "yeah" he agrees
johnny frowns darkly. "you didn't mess with my horse, did you?"
dio makes an insulted face. "i didn't even look at your bloody horse"
johnny snarls at dio - dio snarls back, but with a lot more teeth
"hey, hey, none of that" gyro interrupts. "we're all stuck here until the storm breaks. no point in wasting our energy fighting, huh, johnny?"
johnny huffs, folding his arms and turning away. "don't blame me when he stabs us in the back"
dio hisses and moves over to the corner of the room, as far away from johnny as he can get. he drops his bag and hunches down around it. within a few moments, his breathing evens out, like he's gone to sleep
or like he's pretending to go to sleep
"i'm watching you" johnny mumbles, half muffled in his coffee cup
hidden behind his hat, diego slowly smirks
~
gyro's taking another nap when diego finally gets up. johnny scowls at him some more - it's a good way to pass the time, scowling at diego - while diego just stretches and gets up
it isn't until he's making himself coffee that he asks "are you going to stare at me all day, johnny?"
"i don't trust you" johnny replies
dio laughs and downs his coffee in a couple of loud gulps. none of it leaks out of his lips this time. "are you just going to sit there then?" diego asks. "sit there and scowl and listen to zeppeli? pathetic"
johnny considers this for a few seconds. long enough to haul himself over to where diego's smugly standing, ignoring johnny. long enough to draw back his fist
he punches diego in the knee. diego squawks, like a chicken, and collapses - well, for like two seconds, and then he spins around, snarling "now you've done it, joestar"
he slams into johnny, knocking him back to the ground. diego's fist catches johnny's jaw, but johnny punches back, clocking dio's shoulder, and dio's next punch hits the floor more than it hits johnny. and then johnny twists, like he's mounting slow dancer, but instead he's turning them over, and dio slams to the floor, johnny over him and it's easy to punch him again and again and they go rolling, fighting like they used to, over and over each other, punching and grabbing and wrestling until finally johnny rolls them over and slams dio against the ground hard enough to wind him
for a while, the only noise in the cabin is the sound of their panting. gyro snorts in his sleep. the wind wails against the windows
"that all you've got?" diego asks, tongue swiping across his bleeding lip. he shifts a little under johnny, almost pointedly, and-
"shit" johnny groans, scrunching his eyes shut. if he opens them he's just gonna see diego's shit eating grin - asshole always did look smug whenever he got a rise out of johnny. well, not this time
"gyro!" johnny shouts. diego jumps beneath him, like he'd forgotten gyro was even there, and gyro rolls off the bed with a groan
"what what is it did dio try something i swear-" gyro babbles, sitting upright. he blinks a couple of times and grins. "looks like you've got him in hand, huh, johnny?"
"get over here" johnny says, sitting more upright. the situation gets a bit more obvious
gyro's eyebrows climb into his hairline and he asks "now? really?"
"yes now yes really" johnny replies, while gyro gets to his feet and ambles over
"while dio's watching?" gyro whines. "i don't wanna have sex while he's watching"
"so? i don't care"
"excuse me?!"
"but i do! c'mon johnny, are you sure you can't wait until we're like, twenty miles ahead of this guy?" gyro asks
"the longer you spend whining the more likely it is i'm gonna lose it" johnny says, bluntly
dio abruptly surges upwards, grabbing johnny's shoulders. "you are not fucking while i'm in the room"
johnny stares at diego blandly. "okay" he says "gyro toss dio out"
"awww johnny"
"what?!"
"maybe if we're lucky he'll die out there"
"johnny"
"maybe i'll just toss you out there!"
"just try it dio"
"maybe i will!"
"johnny"
"who are you kidding dio, you couldn't even beat me, you're weak"
"you are bloody asking for it, joestar, i'll rip you to fucking pieces"
"johnny! dio! that's enough!" gyro shouts, grabbing both of them and hauling them apart
johnny bats gyro's hand away. "are you happy now? i'm not gonna be able to keep it up much longer, gyro"
diego makes a disgusted noise again. "you are not having sex while i'm around to watch it"
"well if you'd just-"
"johnny!" gyro snaps "both of you. calm down. no-one's throwing anyone out. and johnny-"
"it's too late anyway" johnny mutters. "you wasted too much time"
diego makes another noise and says "i don't see why you can't just wait a few days. unless you think i really will kill you as soon as the storm lets up? i can see why you'd be worried about that, johnny"
johnny draws himself up as high as he can and announces "for your information, dio, being able to even get off hardly ever happens to me. if you could only get your dick hard once a month you'd fucking leap at the chance every time you could. and i'd like to see you try to kill us, it should be pretty funny-"
gyro lifts johnny up - he squawks this time - and looks down at diego, who's looking... well. like something. "we're going to check the horses"
diego's eyes narrow. "uh-huh"
gyro smiles widely. "we'll be back before you even notice we're gone, right johnny?"
johnny just scowls
~
“we should just leave him to die” johnny says
“we’re not doing that” gyro replies
“he’ll just try to murder us. or our horses. check valkyrie he might have poisoned her already” johnny continues, rolling off the bale of hay and crawling over to slow dancer
“i already did” gyro says “and my balls don’t miss much. all the horses are fine”
johnny wrinkles his nose. “you checked his horse too?”
“course i did” gyro says. “it’s a nice horse”
johnny makes a face. “don’t say that where diego can hear you”
gyro looks around the shed-barn. valkyrie tosses her head at him. diego brando remains entirely absent
“he has horrible dinosaur powers” johnny says “and he’s probably poisoning our food and drinking all our coffee"
gyro sniggers and waves his hand. “i’m sure he’s not that bad and anyway there’s two of us and one of him.” he grins. “and if he gets too annoying we can always shove snow in his clothes”
~
the next day is even worse - no sign of the weather improving, too cold and treacherous to continue onward, and dio still being an asshole, but what else was new?
gyro stretches and mutters "i'm gonna go check the traps." he closes the door swiftly behind himself, but it still lets a blast of cold air in
johnny wraps his blanket tighter around his shoulders and looks over to the stove. they'd run out of coffee yesterday evening - thanks diego - but gyro had dug out some old tea leaves and well, none of them were dead yet so they were probably okay
diego's rummaging through the cupboard next to the stove
"oi" johnny says "get me some tea"
diego pauses and says "i didn't hear a 'please' there, johnny. where are your manners?"
"just get me the damn tea" johnny snaps
"get it yourself" diego replies "oh wait, i forgot. you can't!" he laughs at his own stupid joke
"fuck you"
diego smirks. "you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"no" johnny shouts
diego moves towards him, bending down when he gets close enough. "you liked it before" he says "you fucking loved it, actually"
johnny glares into diego's eyes. "i didn't know what a prick you were back then"
diego laughs
~
by the time gyro gets back, diego's moved back to the table, and is reading gyro's newspaper for the tenth time or whatever - johnny made his own tea in the end, take that dio - and they're both ignoring each other
gyro opens the door and diego snaps "close the fucking door"
gyro feigns shock. "grumpy" he comments. "guess you won't be wanting any of these delicious rabbits i caught"
"again?" johnny groans "i'm sick of rabbit. can't you get like a deer or something"
gyro shrugs and dumps the rabbits on the table. "your turn to skin them" he says to diego
dio looks up from the paper and says "i could just eat them raw"
johnny can't really see the look gyro gives dio from his position, but whatever it is makes diego's expression freeze on his face while gyro says "no you can't"
"hmph. fine" diego grumbles - he doesn't use a knife to skin the rabbits, and that's almost worse than if he just started ripping them to pieces
"you're so gross" johnny mutters "can't wait to leave you behind again"
"in your dreams, joestar" diego replies. "we both know i'll beat you. again"
gyro groans loudly and asks "do you to ever stop? two days we've been stuck here and all you two ever do is argue - not that i blame you, johnny, but it's not gonna get us anywhere! even if we do fight him for his corpse part, we'd still be stuck together here for however long it takes for the weather to clear"
"i'd take your corpse parts" diego mutters. johnny snorts and gyro rolls his eyes and diego tears into the next rabbit with a bit more gusto than is really needed
"fine" johnny says "i'll stop arguing with him." while you're around, he doesn't say
that promise lasts all of five minutes - diego makes one offhand comment, and johnny's near enough to punch diego in the kidneys (he'd deserve it even if he hadn't said anything) and diego just snarls and punches back
gyro sort of wails but shuts up when one of johnny's flailing fists accidentally hits him, and then johnny just shouts "you made me hit gyro! prick!" and keeps on trying to punch diego in his stupid smug face
"you punched me!" diego growls, thrashing until he gets johnny pinned underneath him, and then sitting decisively on johnny's legs so he can't flip them over again. "want to try again, johnny? maybe it'll actually hurt this time"
johnny makes a wordless noise and tries to punch diego again, but the angle's all wrong and the bastard dodges anyway, and then gyro's back, grabbing diego by the collar and saying "hey hey hey, no fighting"
diego laughs and johnny knows that laugh and- "that wasn't fighting" diego says "that was foreplay." he grinds down to make his point and-
"shit" johnny mutters. again.
"looks like little johnny wants to come out and play" diego says, viciously, like he's one to talk
"eat shit" johnny replies, shoving at him. it does about as much good as shoving a brick wall
"really" gyro murmurs, contemplatively, and he isn't even looking and damn, he's probably still not gonna want to get off while diego's around
"this is all your fault" johnny says to diego "get off me, i don't wanna catch your gross dinosaur germs"
diego brushes gyro's hand off his shoulder and leans down to murmur "you always used to like it"
"that" johnny says, loudly "was before i knew you were a thief and a traitor and a cheat and-"
diego kisses him. johnny bites diego's lips. it only seems fair. "don't kiss me"
diego licks his lips - his mouth is slightly stretched, ew - and sits back up. "fine"
as soon as he starts to get up, johnny says "gyro i wanna do it"
diego makes a face and gyro says "about that"
"i don't wanna hear it" johnny starts
"nah" gyro interrupts "i was just thinking that, nyoho, dio really seems to, hoho, get you riled up, huh"
johnny stares up at him. diego's frozen beside gyro, gyro's grinning like he's just won the race. the silence starts to get uncomfortable. johnny blinks. there's a bird's nest in the ceiling. and a huge spider. johnny blinks again
"will you punch him if he gets annoying?" he asks
"i'll punch him even if he doesn't" gyro promises
"fine" johnny sighs "but i'm still not kissing him"
~
diego actually protests for a minute or two, just to be troublesome and annoying, but gyro does in fact punch him (not very hard, but whatever) and by then johnny's managed to get his pants shoved down to mid-thigh and gyro's doing a pretty good job at pulling them down even further
"hurry up" johnny says "it's cold"
"you're so impatient" diego grumbles, settling down beside gyro
johnny glares at diego and says "if you were half naked on a cold floor you'd be complaining too so shut up"
gyro sighs loudly and leans over johnny. "stop arguing" he whispers, before kissing johnny soundly
any reply johnny might have made is lost but eh, johnny doesn't really care - gyro is a damn good kisser. he slides his hands up underneath johnny's shirt, just scraping his nails over johnny's skin. johnny moans softly and then jumps abruptly - diego's licking his neck with a tongue way too long to be entirely human
johnny sort of twists his shoulder half away; diego sits up, his face slowly going back to normal. he smirks. "too much?" diego asks
"no dinosaur" johnny says. gyro hums in agreement, mouthing at the other side of johnny's neck. "no dinosaur" johnny repeats "or i really will throw you out"
diego sniffs pointedly and ducks his head to johnny's neck again, not quite biting and for a moment johnny's left staring at the ceiling while gyro and diego have some sort of battle over who can fuck up johnny's neck the most
"this is weird" johnny says
"you're weird" gyro replies, leaning up to kiss johnny again
"your face is weird" diego says - johnny pinches him ruthlessly in the side and isn't even really surprised when diego shoves gyro aside and licks his way into johnny's mouth
"oi" gyro mutters, mildly - johnny isn't really paying attention, too focused on trying to hold diego still so he can just-
diego reaches down and hooks one of johnny's legs around his waist - not that johnny can really feel that, but the movement drags his dick against diego's stomach and johnny moans into diego's mouth. diego's lips curl against johnny's, his hand coming up to cup johnny's cheek, then gyro does something that makes diego shudder all over and rip his mouth away from johnny’s
diego bares his teeth at gyro – they’re only a normal amount of sharpness so johnny lets it slide – and turns back to johnny, a smug look on his face. gyro smirks over diego’s shoulder and does the thing again; this time it startles a noise out of diego’s throat, and his ears go pink
“stop” diego snaps, but he leans back against gyro when gyro does whatever it is again
“what are you even doing to him?” johnny asks, twisting to try and see
gyro sniggers. “nothing” he says, even though it’s evidently something
diego shudders again, tugging at his clothes – and yeah, johnny’s not gonna deny it. it’s nice watching diego strip, always has been. he’s almost bearable when he isn’t wearing anything or saying anything or-
gyro mouths at diego’s bare shoulder and johnny expects - really really expects – to feel jealous. instead warmth just curls in his belly and he finds himself saying “bite him” and then grinning when gyro does
diego makes that noise again, arching back while glaring at johnny. “why can he bite and i can’t?” diego asks
“i like gyro more” johnny replies – gyro lifts his head from diego’s shoulder to grin at him – “and he doesn’t bite hard enough to make me bleed unlike some people”
“that was one time” diego mutters. he elbows gyro and sort of shoves him back a bit, spreading johnny’s legs. “besides you liked it”
“johnny has some stuff” gyro murmurs, moving away to grab johnny’s bags and drag them closer
diego huffs and dips his head, and johnny has just enough time to snap “don’t you dare use your teeth” before diego’s swallowing his dick. he looks up through his eyelashes and the sides of his mouth split open a little, like he’s saying you sure you don’t want any dinosaur?
“gross” johnny says, weakly, but it’s kinda hard to be really pissed off when he can just sorta feel how warm and wet diego’s mouth is and it’s hot to just-
“wow” gyro says sorta breathlessly “huh i” he swallows and reaches out to touch diego’s head. diego’s mouth gapes; there’s a flash of too long too pointy teeth and-
“fuck” johnny groans, scrunching his eyes shut. he can just about feel diego’s tongue; it’s way too long to be human but right now johnny doesn’t care- his head thumps against the floor. diego chuckles
gyro reaches for johnny instead, brushing the hair out of johnny’s eyes. “good?” he asks
johnny nods once, jerkily, turning to muffle his groans in gyro’s leg. gyro strokes a hand through his hair, pushing johnny’s bandana off. he lifts johnny a little, so he’s more settled in gyro’s lap. gyro leans down and brushes his lips over johnny’s forehead, just as diego does- does something fuck-
“what” johnny croaks, craning his head to see
diego sits up, licking his lips. he grins at johnny for a second then his eyes flick to gyro and he asks “you have stuff?”
gyro swallows loudly and digs in johnny’s bag for a moment. “cooking oil” he says. quieter, he asks “you okay with this, johnny?”
diego rolls his eyes at the question, pushing johnny’s legs further apart. johnny’s briefly irritated he can’t feel that – not really, there’s this annoying feeling like he’s just about to feel something, like if he just reaches a little further he could – but he brushes it aside
“yeah” johnny says, and that’s all the encouragement diego apparently needs
he pushes two slick fingers in, laughing when johnny curses. he leans down to kiss johnny again, and doesn’t seem to care when johnny turns away so he can only kiss johnny’s cheek
“careful” gyro murmurs, stroking johnny’s chest but looking at diego
“he’s not made of glass” diego snaps
“he’s right here” johnny grumbles
diego kisses the corner of his mouth and curls his fingers. johnny jerks, and only gyro’s arm around his waist stops him from head butting diego, not that diego seems to notice. he curls his fingers again, rubbing firmly and fuck- damn-
“gyro!” johnny cries, shuddering all over; gyro’s hand slows on johnny’s dick, and he presses little kisses into johnny’s hair, but diego doesn’t let up at all and- “too much” johnny gasps “too much”
diego hisses once and then pulls his fingers free. “was that it?” he asks
“shut up” johnny says, panting
“it’s just, i seem to remember you lasting a bit longer-” diego yelps and rubs his arm. “that hurt” he snaps
“do i look like i care?” johnny asks “just go back to what you were doing before”
gyro sighs loudly. “you two never stop, do you?”
diego shrugs. “it’s the only way to get a rise out of him.” he smirks. “in more ways than one, it seems”
“shove off” johnny says, heatedly
~
gyro drags johnny onto the bed. this involves some awkward shuffling on his part, because his dick can actually stay hard for like, whole minutes at a time
diego watches interestedly, but doesn’t actually help in any way (“prick” johnny mutters to himself. diego smirks)
gyro turns to look at diego and asks mildly “are you coming?”
“hopefully” diego replies
johnny makes a face and shoves at his own legs. “you better get a move on or we’ll leave you behind. again” he says
diego makes a face this time, but does actually get up and join them on the bed, settling between johnny’s legs while gyro passes johnny the pillows so he can get comfortable. well, comfortable-ish
gyro settles himself beside johnny’s head again, leaning down briefly to press a quick kiss to johnny’s lips
“hey” johnny murmurs, grinning
“hey” gyro replies, softly
“you’re disgusting” diego says
gyro sits up and gets right in diego’s face, like he’s about to kiss him, his arm sliding around diego’s waist. johnny still can’t see but gyro must do the Thing again because diego closes his eyes suddenly, groaning. he claws at gyro’s other arm and ducks his head against gyro’s shoulder
“i get it” diego croaks after a moment “go away”
gyro glances towards johnny who sorta shrugs like, hey who was he to turn down a free show especially when that show involved dio getting humiliated
“sweet talker” gyro says and it could be to dio or it could be to johnny but right now it doesn’t really matter
johnny pokes diego. “you gonna do me or what”
“yes” diego replies “now be quiet” and then he’s hitching johnny’s legs up around his waist – not that johnny can feel that but damn it looks nice – and his dick is-
“do it” johnny says and diego slides in with one smooth thrust
“fuck” diego says, clutching at gyro’s arm and panting. a chuckle escapes him. “you always were a tightass, johnny” he says
gyro laughs. when johnny glares up at him he shrugs and says “well he’s not wrong”
“don’t agree with him!” johnny protests
diego chooses this moment to roll his hips again. johnny gurgles and claws at the sheets. diego smirks, his hands settling on johnny’s waist again. his thumb traces a little circle on johnny’s skin, and his grin widens until it splits his cheeks
“stop that” johnny says breathlessly – gyro leans over him and actually kisses diego while his mouth is all gross and johnny has to shut his eyes. gyro wraps an arm around diego’s waist, and diego makes the weird noise and fuck that feels- that feels good, and gyro’s snuck his other hand down to wrap around johnny’s dick and it’s-
diego breaks the kiss with a snap of his jaws. his teeth click loudly, and a way way too long tongue licks his lips and johnny is fully prepared to re-enact the ‘no dinosaur’ agreement, except gyro makes that one noise he makes when he’s like, really turned on, and-
“really gyro” johnny asks, making a face
“really johnny” gyro replies, leaning in to kiss diego again. his hand doesn’t stop, and diego moves like that and fine, johnny can live with this and it still feels-
gyro squirms a little closer, rocking partly against diego’s leg and partly against johnny’s, and he hasn’t even taken his pants off yet and well, johnny’s legs might not work but his arms sure do
gyro groans “johnny” and his hips jerk and he does whatever it is he’s doing to diego and diego makes a weird noise and hunches down low over johnny, and he’s just thrusting erratically now and- oh so that’s what it was all about
dio’s tail lashes fiercely, just about visible over the curve of his back, and gyro’s petting it sorta roughly but it must feel good because diego just about wails, and tugs johnny as close as he can and his hands on johnny’s hips would probably hurt if he could feel them
diego’s mouth brushes johnny’s neck – he has a second of warning, then diego bites and damn, getting bitten by diego brando shouldn’t feel like this, shouldn’t feel so- so good
“he likes it” gyro says – he could be talking to either of them again, but it doesn’t seem to matter
diego kisses johnny again, shuddering over him, and then it’s johnny’s turn to say “was that it”
diego snarls “fuck off.” he jerks his hips again, like he’s trying to make a point but all it does is make johnny groan
gyro lies down beside them, catching johnny’s hand and guiding it back between his legs. he rocks urgently against johnny’s hand and diego’s hip, and diego makes a sorta offended noise while worrying johnny’s throat
“don’t stop” johnny says and diego doesn’t reply for once, too busy biting johnny
gyro kisses the other side of johnny’s throat and shudders, coming in johnny’s hand with a groan. “god johnny”
“yes” johnny says, and it feels so-
~
johnny shoves diego off
diego grumbles under his breath and shivers all over, before tucking himself against johnny’s side. “it’s cold” he mutters
“you’re cold” johnny replies, which is weird because diego never used to feel this freezing after they’d- well
gyro starts to say something about lizards, but cuts off mid-yawn and then settles for dragging the blanket out from under johnny and draping it over him instead
“he’s not cold” diego mumbles, scowling and grabbing the blanket for himself
johnny rolls over to face gyro and makes a face – diego presses closer to johnny’s back, shivering
gyro chuckles softly. he mouths ‘blackmail’ and johnny has to stifle a laugh against gyro’s shoulder. diego huffs warmly on the back of johnny’s neck and mumbles something vaguely threatening into his hair. johnny elbows him a bit and diego huffs again and shoves his feet against johnny’s legs – not that he can feel it, but diego’s toes must brush gyro’s shins or something, because gyro yelps
“shut up” diego grumbles
gyro says “get your ice blocks off my legs” and kicks diego. diego kicks back and then they’re both kicking each other around johnny’s legs and johnny almost wishes he could kick diego too
“oops” gyro says “sorry johnny”
“go back to kicking him” johnny replies
diego pinches johnny’s side and totally deserves johnny elbowing him again and anyway diego’s fingers are just as cold as his feet probably are – they certainly feel it when diego lays them on johnny’s side
johnny allows that for a minute and then he rolls over and shoves diego out of bed. “and stay out” johnny says, grinning
~
diego’s glaring at him over silver bullet’s saddle. johnny hasn’t caught him glaring yet but diego’s not very subtle when it comes to stuff like this. he has all the subtlety of a brick to the head
johnny sniggers to himself. somewhere behind him, diego huffs and carries on mucking about with silver bullet’s tack
gyro comes out of the cabin, and over to valkyrie. “that’s everything” he says
“let’s go already” johnny replies, scratching slow dancer’s neck idly
gyro nods, mounting valkyrie. he glances back to diego and then says, lowly “we just gonna leave him here johnny?”
johnny looks back over his shoulder. diego isn’t even pretending not to be listening anymore. johnny shrugs. it’d be kinda weird to fight diego right after they’d uh- well, even back in the day they never really fought after they’d fucked. maybe it’s different now
diego turns away and mounts silver bullet. “see you round joestar” he says, urging silver bullet away into the snow
gyro and johnny watch him go. after a minute, gyro leans off valkyrie and picks up a handful of snow
the snowball explodes really nicely against the back of diego’s head
diego slowly turns around. gyro waves
johnny almost falls off his horse getting the next snowball, but it hits diego square in the chest so it’s all worth it
“you didn’t” diego says
“pretty sure i did” johnny replies
dio’s expression hardens and then he jumps off silver bullet and sweeps snow at them with his stupid tail and gyro shouts “that’s cheating” even as he throws a snowball so hard it knocks dio’s dumb hat off
diego squawks and ducks behind his horse, mounting again and urging his horse into a canter – away from them
“oh no you don’t” johnny shouts and then-
well, it’s probably a good thing there aren’t any of the observing balloons around to witness it
eventually, after a decisive victory (johnny dumps snow down the back of diego’s shirt), johnny smirks in diego’s face and says “i hope you get frostbite”
“b-bite me” diego replies, shivering
“maybe if you’re very good” gyro says, from the other side of diego
diego chases them into the sunset