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So maybe this village wasn’t the easiest to navigate. Maybe it being built up the side of a cliff made things more difficult than they had to be. Maybe Ranboo was tired of scaling up and down the narrow and steep staircases that wound from one building to another.
Maybe, just maybe, he was missing Tubbo and Michael. Tommy too, but he didn’t really fit into the same category.
The cartographer across from him hummed, browsing their selection of maps, and Ranboo sneaked a quick look at his communicator. There were a few messages from Phil that Ranboo had forgotten to properly mark as read instead of just reading them through the notifications. One from Niki that could wait until he was back home.
And one from Tubbo. Excellent.
He glanced at the cartographer, who was filing through things with a purpose now, then opened the message and smiled at the picture of Michael dressed in his miniature armor and holding a little golden sword, expression fierce and standing over Tommy, who had an arm thrown over his head in clear theatrics.
Tubbo_: tommy’s dead lol
Ranboo: michael is too young for you to encourage violence
Tubbo_: better get home quick to stop it
Ranboo: you’re a terrible father
Tubbo_: I want a divorce.
Ranboo bit back a laugh, tucking his communicator away as the cartographer turned back to him with a small selection of maps.
“This is what I have for pillager outposts and such, but I really don’t know why you’re interested in these things.” They spread out the maps, and Ranboo scanned them before tapping the map that had a mansion on it. That was exactly what he was looking for. “I wouldn’t recommend going there.”
“I know what I’m doing,” Ranboo said calmly.
The cartographer examined him, gaze trailing across Ranboo’s enchanted netherite armor and his multiple weapons at the ready, then sighed. “If you’re sure. Nobody’s gotten close to the mansion, so I can’t give you any details about it at all, but I wish you luck.”
Emeralds changed hands and Ranboo stepped out of the cartographer’s shop, examining the map more closely. North and a bit east. And, when he scanned it with his communicator to sync up--yeah, he wasn’t quite that far away. A few days travel over land, but Ranboo was armored and knew how to fight and wasn’t at all scared of the Nether, so it would be much shorter for him.
Besides, if he fell into the lava, Tubbo would probably appreciate Ranboo taking a bath. He’d just have to make sure to do it on the way home, too, to get rid of all the blood that resulted from these sorts of things.
---
Ranboo stepped out of the portal, humming appreciatively at the view that met him. Sure, the portal had spawned on top of a tree on top of a cliff, but he’d gotten so good at pinning down how far to travel in the Nether for these sorts of things.
The mansion sat before him, built on top of the cliff. Stone supports held an unreasonable amount of it up, digging deep into the cliffside. Far below, the ocean crashed violently against the rocks--he could even see the mast of a wrecked ship sticking out from the rocks nearly straight below him.
Huh. The chances of that seemed slim.
Ranboo examined the mansion again, then shrugged and jumped from the branch he was standing on, hitting the ground just hard enough to make him grunt despite the fall. Feather falling was a fantastic enchantment, not that anyone had asked. Once on the ground, he walked to the cliff edge and stared at the shipwreck below, trying to see if it was intact enough for anything to possibly be worth scrounging through.
It was just a mast, though, and sheer walls of what had clearly once been a beautiful ship smashed across the rocks. He could still faintly make out the figurehead--a woman, it seemed, with long hair and a dress worn smooth by erosion. Purple paint clung to the dress and hair in spots, and Ranboo paused to make a note of it in his memory book. He needed to ask Puffy later if that meant anything.
First, though, the mansion.
Now, it was difficult to be entirely stealthy when one was wearing armor that glowed faintly, but Ranboo had long had the philosophy that if his enderman relatives could be stealthy with glowing eyes, he could be stealthy with glowing armor. Somehow, this philosophy had worked so far, which was honestly much longer than he’d expected it to while first developing it.
He patted his belt, the potions he always kept there clinking softly as he ran his fingers over them in reassurance. He had a totem tied to the strap across his chest, available for him to grab at a moment’s notice should he have to. Then his weapons, of course. Couldn’t go on a murder spree without those.
Was it really murder if he was killing pillagers? They were objectively terrible terrible people. Just awful. And sure, they had the totems, and killing evokers was the only way to get the totems, and Ranboo needed the totems to protect the people he loved- but illagers in general were just awful. They raided villages and then the mansions had these prison cells and--well, Tommy didn’t talk about where he came from much, but he’d mentioned “the lab” a few times and Ranboo knew the insides of mansions well enough to hazard some guesses as to what had happened there.
So while he was sure Tommy didn’t need anyone going out seeking vengeance for him, Ranboo had no problems killing the inhabitants of mansions, if only to keep them from doing whatever they’d done to Tommy to other people.
Yep. Terrible people. Totems. Tommy. What more reason did he need?
With that in mind, Ranboo walked in the front door. An illager stared at him for a long moment, gaze flicking to the different sides of Ranboo’s face--and Ranboo stabbed them clean through, coating Ranord with blood.
For a long moment, the only sound was the body of the illager slumping to the floor.
Then: a crossbow loading.
Ranboo moved, much faster than the average person did due to the sheer length of his legs. And he trained with none other than Technoblade and Philza, though he wasn’t nearly as good at fighting as they were--though the bodies quickly littering the floor of the mansion would probably disagree. And he was strong. Mining for literal days on end did that to a guy.
Jaws snapped and Ranboo jumped lightly, narrowly avoiding the fangs coming from the ground. He spun mid-air, turning to face the evoker, and grinned at the glint of gold hidden in the evoker’s robes--a grin he continued to wear as another body slumped to the floor and Ranboo tucked his new totem into his inventory.
He made his way methodically through the mansion, picking off every being who stood in his way--the illager inhabitants, of course, but also skeletons and zombies and even a few creepers. He glanced through a few chests as he went, but didn’t bother getting all of them. He’d be back through everything soon enough.
And then the only sound in the mansion was that of Ranboo’s own heavy breathing and the soft sound of blood dripping from his sword onto the wooden floor. He stopped, listening closely as he poked a body to make sure it was really dead, then nodded. It sounded like there were a few zombies down the hall, which meant he still had to be careful, but there weren’t any more feet pounding towards him.
Well! It was time to explore.
He absently cleaned the blood off Ranord as he made his way to the third floor and began looting each room. Most of them didn’t have much, but he was expecting that. There were a few valuable things tucked in the corners of chests here and there--some diamonds, which he only took since he had some in his inventory already; no golden apples, not even the unenchanted kind; the occasional enchanting book. Nothing nearly as exciting as the totem spilled on the floor a few feet away from an evoker corpse.
This was why he always went through everything again before he burnt the place to the ground. Things got missed in the heat of battle, and this wasn’t something he wanted to miss.
He ducked back onto the second floor and turned to the hall that had the zombie sounds. Nothing came towards him as he moved, though, poking in rooms one at a time.
And then he walked into a room with jail cells and he immediately understood. Zombies bashed against the bars in three of the cells, one of them having a half-rotted corpse as a cellmate. They all reached for him as he peered in, but he ignored them.
The room smelled terrible. Zombies always smelled bad, but the rotting corpse stole the cake. The rancid smell of decay and decomposition never failed to make Ranboo want to scrub out his nose. Dang it. It was going to linger for a long time, wasn’t it.
“Hello?”
The voice was so weak as to hardly be audible. Ranboo jumped anyway, nearly dropping his torch, and someone flinched back from the door of the fourth cell. His hands wrapped around the bars again, though, the tattered sleeves of a red-and-white coat visible from the angle.
“Uh,” Ranboo said.
“Can you let me out?” The stranger’s bloody and bruised arm slid partly out through the bars, only to swipe at the lever that would undoubtedly open the door and fall short (much like the man himself). “I would appreciate it.”
Ranboo flipped the lever, opening the door. The man paused before stepping out, revealing just how frankly awful he looked. Ranboo had guessed this stranger wasn’t doing well, given that he was in a cell in a mansion and that his voice- well, the stranger was halfway leaning on the doorframe of the cell, expression making it clear that pure determination and spite were the only things keeping him upright.
Ranboo knew that look from Tubbo all too well.
“Are you okay, man?” he asked.
“I’ve been better.” The stranger offered him a shaky smile, digging red-rimmed sunglasses from his coat pocket and putting them on. “Thank you. For letting me out, I mean.”
Ranboo sheathed Ranord, noticing how the stranger’s shoulders relaxed minutely at the action, and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, of course. I have a friend who was in a situation like this; I can’t just leave you to rot.”
“Yeah, well,” the man said, a bit bitterly, “the evokers had no problem with that.” His breathing caught, and his form tensed, and then he coughed into his elbow with a resigned expression. “They took everything they wanted from me, at least.”
It was at this point that Ranboo realized the man had horns. They were purple and obsidian in color (just like Tubbo’s, huh, cool) and just as battered as the rest of the stranger. One of them was snapped off near the base, dried blood matting the stranger’s dark hair and dripping down the side of his face. The way he moved, too, suggested much more serious injuries.
“I’m Ranboo,” Ranboo said instead of vocalizing any of his observations. “How many hearts are you on?”
The stranger eyed him for a long moment and coughed into his elbow again, and this time Ranboo caught the faint splattering of dark against the red fabric.
“Don’t know. They smashed my communicator. I wouldn’t guess anything high, though.” The man wiped blood from his mouth with his hand before rubbing his hand on his frankly filthy pants. “I’m lucky I’m conscious right now, all things considered.”
“Oohhhkay.” Ranboo reached into his inventory and pulled out one of his three newly acquired totems, forcing it into the stranger’s hand. “Do you have a place to go?”
A shake of the head. “Not since my ship crashed.”
“Terrible place to crash.”
The stranger nodded, then coughed again. This one sounded much wetter. Ranboo frowned.
“Alright, you can come with me, then. At least until you’re all healed up. I won’t make you stay or anything, but you’re badly hurt and I can’t just let you go off somewhere to die.”
The stranger snorted. “Yeah, okay. Fair enough.” He held the totem tight in one hand and made a shuffling step. “Lead the way, I guess.”
Ranboo did. He stopped to grab some of the armor he’d previously left in chests--what did he need it for, after all? Protecting this badly injured stranger, it seemed.
“I can’t- chestplates are a no-go at the moment.” The stranger winced at the offer of one.
Ranboo went to question why, but his gaze dropped to the stranger’s back, and his eyes widened at the sight of what had very obviously at one point been wings and was now two jagged and almost certainly infected amputation marks. “Oh, I see. Well, we’ll just have to do without.”
As the stranger slowly pulled on the rest of the found armor, Ranboo stepped to the side and pulled his communicator out.
Ranboo: I desperately need medical advice
Ranboo: you can’t tell anyone else
Ranboo: not yet
Ph1LzA: how badly are you hurt do I need to come find you
Ranboo: I’m not hurt
Ph1LzA: m8 wot
Ranboo: I found someone in a mansion cell
Ranboo: he’s pretty badly hurt
Ranboo: they cut off his wings
Ph1LzA: fuckers
Ph1LzA: stop the bleeding
Ph1LzA: if you have regen give him that
Ph1LzA: probably best if you get him here
Ranboo: yeah that’s the plan
Ranboo: also he’s coughing up blood
Ph1LzA: I’ll meet you partway. coords?
Ph1LzA: oh thats really not good. regen, stat
Ph1LzA: also kill the fucking monsters who did that
Ranboo: already did
He tapped out his coordinates, sending them as quickly as he could. Then he grabbed the regen potion from his belt and turned to the stranger, who had pulled a fair amount of armor on and was now leaning against the wall and breathing in a way that reminded Ranboo the guy had way more injuries than were visible with the naked eye. His eyes were fixed on Ranboo, though, gaze wary and arms wrapped around his ribs.
“Here. Regen. Hopefully it’ll keep you on your feet.”
The stranger eyed it and slowly reached out to take it. He drank it all at once, like someone would a shot of alcohol. It was definitely A Choice but as long as he drank it all Ranboo didn’t suppose he minded that much.
“Have you eaten recently?” Ranboo asked, some part of him knowing the answer was no. He knew the physical signs of starvation, and a lot of them were present on the man in front of him. So he wasn’t surprised at a shake of the head.
“Here.” He pulled some bread from his inventory and handed it over. “You sit here and eat a bit. I’ll rummage through the rest of the rooms on this floor. Shout if you need help. Or if, like, you feel like you’re gonna pass out.”
A moment of silence, then a nod and a quiet, “Thank you.”
“Oh yeah.” Ranboo handed the man his axe. “In case a zombie wanders in or something.” He waved, ignoring to choose the way the stranger’s fingers lingered on the enchantments carefully carved into the handle and base of the head. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
Ph1LzA: Im on my way m8
Ph1LzA: I’ll try to meet you halfway
Ranboo: do you know who can make comms?
Ranboo: the guy’s gonna need a new one
Ranboo: illagers smashed his old one
Ph1LzA: I’d bet Sam
Ph1LzA: of course they did
Ph1LzA: does the guy have a name?
Ph1LzA: Ranboo?
Ph1LzA: m8 does he not have a name
Ranboo stuck his head back in the room, only to see the stranger still leaning against the wall where Ranboo had left him. The axe was leaned up against the wall next to him, which wasn’t a particularly great sign--if he wasn’t strong enough to access his inventory, well.
“Hey, guy, do you have a name.”
The stranger blinked slowly and nodded around a mouthful of bread. “A couple of ‘em. Most people call me the Captain.”
“Oh, ‘cause of the ship. I get it.”
The Captain nodded.
Ranboo: he says people call him the captain
Ranboo: I don’t think he trusts me with his real name
Ph1LzA: if he’s been in there long enough he might not remember it
Ph1LzA: that’s why Wil had to name Tommy
Ranboo: he says he has a couple of names
Ph1LzA: probably doesn’t trust you then
Ranboo: all things considered I don’t blame him
He wandered off again, continuing to loot, and being more selective in what he took now. The Captain clearly had nothing--he didn’t even have a communicator, after all--so even some basic supplies for him would be useful. Nothing major, though, because even after a regen potion the man still seemed badly injured. Also, Ranboo had no idea what regen would do towards any infection that could have set in through the rough wing amputations or any other injuries that definitely still had to be treated properly.
He paused rummaging through a chest, lifting his head. He could have sworn he heard someone call his name just then- but silence.
He stood anyway, willingly leaving the chest behind. It was all tangled string anyway. Sure, maybe there was something buried in there, but he didn’t particularly care to find out.
“Captain?” he called, making his way back to where he’d left his new companion. “Did you say something?”
Silence.
Ranboo frowned and walked faster.
He rounded the corner into the room and his eyes widened at the sight of the Captain sprawled awkwardly on the ground, like he’d first fallen into the wall and then slid from there. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth, and his eyes were closed and body slumped in a blatant display of unconsciousness.
“Captain?” Ranboo darted forward, carefully scooping the unconscious man in his arms. The Captain didn’t respond, but Ranboo wasn’t particularly surprised by that, all things considered. “Hey, wake up.”
The potion should have done more by now. Ranboo eyed the Captain warily. Regeneration potions were supposed to heal around 9 full hearts, fully capable of bringing someone back from the verge of death if brewed properly--but hearts were only an average calculation by the communicator that summed up general health. Usually having one major thing go wrong was enough to drop someone’s hearts significantly. The Captain definitely had more than one major thing wrong. Was he too hurt for the potion to do much?
Well dang. That wasn’t good.
Ranboo: he passed out
Ranboo: even with a regen pot
Ph1LzA: gods
Ph1LzA: are you somewhere safe?
Ranboo: still in the mansion
Ph1LzA: hunker down somewhere safe
Ph1LzA: treat his injuries best you can
Ph1LzA: take your time you have to know what youre working with
Ranboo: okay
Ph1LzA: you can try giving him more pots and hope
Ph1LzA: gl m8
Ranboo: thanks i’ll need it
Ranboo tucked his axe back into his inventory and then carefully scooped up the Captain. It wasn’t particularly easy, because even though the Captain was on Death’s door and Ranboo was no wimp, this was an entire person who was very seriously injured. He didn’t want to jostle any internal injuries or make things worse, but Phil was right. They couldn’t stay here
He spared a glance outside and frowned. It was almost morning, but being so deep into the forest meant there would be a lot of danger just outside. There was no way he’d be able to drag the Captain through that much dense forest safely, not when there would be so many mobs lingering under the thick canopy of trees.
Oh gods. Oh gods.
The fastest way to get out of here without aggravating mobs under the trees would be either to go on top of the trees (not particularly viable with an entire unconscious man) or through the Nether.
Ranboo swallowed hard and set the Captain back down for a moment, carefully tucking him into a corner where he wouldn’t be found by stray mobs, made sure the totem was still gently pressed into the Captain’s hand, and then darted out of the mansion to where his portal had spawned. It involved a disgraceful scramble to the top of the tree and a little bit of yelping as he pulled the obsidian down one block at a time while standing on a literal tree branch. Then jumping back down from the tree--no big deal--and zooming back to where he’d left the Captain. The entire time, he muttered various articulated worries about whether or not the Captain would even be alive by the time Ranboo got back.
After all, it wasn’t like the Captain had a communicator to send updates out if he did die.
No, no, Ranboo reassured himself. He’d made sure the totem was there. If the Captain died, he wouldn’t stay dead. That was something, at least.
The Captain was still breathing as Ranboo got back, but a quick glance at the floor near his mouth proved Ranboo had been right to lay the man down on his side. The blood splatters there looked violent, like the Captain had coughed up blood rather than just having it drip from his mouth--not that either of those were things blood was supposed to be doing.
Ranboo quickly assembled the portal, lighting it with a click of his flint and steel. He paused, checking the Captain once more, before darting out of the room with said flint and steel in hand. Then, starting from the far corner of the mansion, he lit it on fire.
He didn’t light anything close to the room the Captain was in, acutely aware of the fact that an unconscious man couldn’t run. Once a healthy blaze was going, erasing all evidence that this atrocity had ever existed, Ranboo carefully picked up the Captain once again and stepped through the portal.
---
The heat of the Nether was bad enough normally, though netherite armor did a surprising amount to combat overheating, but now Ranboo had to worry about the Captain--someone who could most definitely not tell Ranboo when things were going badly for him.
Well, given that the Captain was completely unresponsive, Ranboo supposed things were already going badly enough. He was just going to have to assume that one wrong move would end up with the Captain dead.
Which lead him to here, both of them tucked in a netherrack cove and fire dancing cheerfully all around the entrance. A ghast screamed again, and Ranboo barely had time to pull his shield over the Captain before the fireball hit. The force of the hit skidded Ranboo back a bit and tipped the shield almost into the Captain entirely.
Well crap. He couldn’t fight back, not when he needed to carry the Captain. That was the whole reason he hadn’t gone through the Overworld.
That- Darn. Dang it. Heck.
Ranboo shoved his shield into his inventory and held the Captain more securely and ran.
The ghast screeched, but by the time a third fireball hit the ground, he was already darting as fast as he could to a wall with quartz stretching up towards a cluster of glowstone in the ceiling. The wall to his right rose all the way to the Nether roof, arching gently once it was higher. On his left now, though, was a sheer drop some twenty or thirty blocks. The Nether haze hung low in the valley, all red except for a distant glimpse of blue. Under other circumstances, it would have been beautiful.
A piglin raised its crossbow, and Ranboo ducked, protectively curling himself around the Captain’s limp form. The bolt shattered against the quartz in the wall, and the piglin raised another bolt to reload-
Ranboo glanced to the side, to the sheer drop, grimaced, shifted his grip on the Captain to be more secure, and jumped. Normally with a casual drop like this he just kept going, but this time he made sure to roll on landing, diffusing the impact as much as he could with his own body so it didn’t reach the Captain.
There was distant blue in the Nether. It could be a soul sand valley, sure, but Ranboo had soul speed on his boots--it would be faster, at least, to cover ground. But he was hoping it was a warped forest. That would definitely be ideal. He’d be able to pause, to breathe, and get a portal built with the disassembled portal from hopping through from the mansion.
The Captain needed a village, a cleric maybe--definitely some kind of safe structure with a bed. A place Ranboo could grind to a stop and figure out how to treat all of the Captain’s injuries. He had no idea how when it came to internal ones, which the Captain definitely had given how pained and labored his breathing was.
He needed somewhere Ranboo could rest too, because gods hauling an entire unconscious person around was much more difficult than stories made it sound. Ranboo was going to have words with Phil, for telling stories that made it sound easy. And then he was going to have words with Tubbo, because he’d seen Tubbo burying the dead citizens of New L’Manburg after Doomsday, and he’d done it a lot. Apparently Ranboo needed to know more about his workout routine.
He was sure Tubbo would show him. He’d just be flirting the entire time, and Ranboo didn’t know if he could handle that after the whole “found a dying man” situation.
By the time he reached the blue in the Nether--it was a warped forest, thankfully enough--he was more than ready to drop the Captain outright. And while he had the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair, there were enough values bouncing around in that for him to feel obligated to move deeper into the warped forest and find a space that was relatively flat to gently set the Captain.
The Captain was still breathing, though there was more blood flecking his lips. He didn’t seem to be sweating either. Maybe that was normal for whatever kind of hybrid he clearly was? Which would be nice, since it would help keep Ranboo from getting burned, but- didn’t humans sweat? Tubbo and Tommy both complained about it (and sure, Tubbo wasn’t exactly human, but Ranboo wasn’t entirely clear on what kind of hybrid he was either so he had no idea how to factor that in). Fundy didn’t, but he was basically a fox, so that made sense.
Well. Ranboo had no idea what kind of hybrid the Captain was, but he didn’t look like a fox. He had horns, but they weren’t all spiral like Puffy’s. He had wings, past tense, like Phil, but Ranboo had no idea what colors the feathers had been or if that even made a difference.
Could the Captain be a hybrid of multiple things? With no human, like Ranboo. Or with human, like would happen if Ranboo had any interest in having kids with a human. It was obviously possible. Ranboo existed, after all.
His communicator pinged softly.
Aw beans. He had so many missed messages from Tubbo.
Tubbo_: tommy and i are going to paint michael’s room
Tubbo_: do you have any opinions on colors
Tubbo_: tommy wants us to use gold leaf
Tubbo_: do we even have that
Tubbo_: how much does it cost
Tubbo_: nevermind youre rich i don’t care about the price
Tubbo_: awfully long time without an answer big man
Tubbo_: let me know when you’re out of hte mansion then
Tubbo_: how long do mansions take
Tubbo_: eret said they shouldn’t take this long
Tubbo_: ive been watching the broadcast notifications but i don’t see a death notice
Tubbo_: tommy says phil just left in a hurry
Tubbo_: are you hurt
Tubbo_: answer me
Tubbo_: big man please
Tubbo_: you’d better not be unconscious out there
Tubbo_: if you bleed out i want a divorce
Tubbo_: ranboo
Tubbo_: i don’t want to have to make another memorial
Tubbo_: please answer
Ranboo: i’m alive
Ranboo: currently hiding in the nether
Tubbo_: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG
Ranboo: i have found an entire person
Tubbo_: as opposed to part of a person?
Ranboo: he was a prisoner in the mansion
Tubbo_: o fuck
Ranboo: he’s unconscious and really badly hurt
Ranboo: he’s been coughing up blood
Ranboo: don’t know how many hearts his communicator got smashed before I even got there
Ranboo: Phil’s on his way to help
Ranboo: we’re gonna try and save him
Tubbo_: I’ll talk to Sam and see if he can get started on a new communicator for him
Tubbo_: why phil tho
Ranboo: he has wings
Ranboo: dunno what kind of hybrid this dude is but he used to too
Ranboo: illagers cut them off
Tubbo_: best check for infection big man
Ranboo: i’ve already given him a regen but i’m trying to make it to a village
Ranboo: he needs all the help we can get
Tubbo_: keep me posted
Ranboo: will do
He took a deep breath, though he already felt much better after talking to Tubbo--man marrying him was a good decision--and built a portal.
It was time to return to the Overworld.
---
There had to be some kind of god smiling on Ranboo and the Captain, because Ranboo had spotted a village within an hour of emerging from the Nether. Drista, probably. XD was too much of a wild card to predict. Which was saying something when the alternative was Drista.
Maybe Ranboo was just too used to Tommy.
Speaking of Tommy. Ranboo eyed the unread message from his friend and shoved his communicator back in his pocket. Tubbo had probably told him Ranboo had found someone in the mansion. Ranboo was not ready to have a conversation about it.
Distant thunder cracked, and Ranboo glanced out the window of the one-room house (the bathroom, that was, with everything else all in the same space) to see dark storm clouds gathering on the horizon.
Okay. Maybe XD was paying attention. Crap. Drista was a pain but at least you could count on her helping as long as it amused her. Even then, she didn’t usually hurt people. XD was just entirely unpredictable.
The cleric looked up from the Captain and shrugged slightly. “I’ve done what I can. I’ll be back in the morning to change his bandages, assuming he lives through the night. Best pick a god and pray, though. It doesn’t look particularly good.”
Ranboo nodded absently. “Anything I should keep an eye out for during the night?” Nevermind that he hadn’t slept in literal days. Avoiding the Enderwalk had made him pretty good at that.
“If his breathing gets worse, roll him onto his side. It’s harder on his ribs, but if he chokes on anything it’ll make it easier for him to get it out. Of course, if his breathing doesn’t ease, might as well roll him back.”
“Got it.” Ranboo’s gaze flicked to the Captain, laid on his stomach and his injuries properly treated--including what was left of his wings. More than Ranboo had originally thought, but not by a lot. Not that it mattered. The Captain wasn’t flying again, assuming he’d ever been able to. “Onto his side.”
The cleric nodded, gathering their supplies. They didn’t stay after that, instead leaving without another word. Probably had other responsibilities to attend to that weren’t “help the panicked dude banging on the chapel door with a dying dude in arms”.
Ranboo glanced at the door and grimaced, unwilling to entirely trust that things were going to go smoothly over the night. He pllpped a cobblestone block down next to the bottom of the door, effectively blocking it while being something easy to break if a raid came or something, then glanced out the window again. The storm clouds were getting closer.
Well.
Ranboo pulled off his armor, carefully stretching his body as he moved, and tucked it into his inventory. He paused, carefully pulling the blanket up from where it had slid from the Captain and tucking him in like he did with Michael. Then he sat on the floor, rough wood poking into his overtired limbs, and took a deep breath.
Okay.
He pulled out his communicator and stared at the single unread message.
TommyInnit: Tubbo says you found someone in a mansion
Right. Right. Tommy was bound to find out sooner or later, and, all things considered, it was probably better for that to happen sooner. Clearly Tubbo had thought so as well.
Ranboo: I did
Ranboo: he’s alive but not by much
TommyInnit: you sure he’s not a wrongun?
Ranboo: they were keeping him in one of the cells
Ranboo: hurt him really badly
Ranboo: cut off his wings too
TommyInnit: he like phil?
Ranboo: hard to tell, I never saw the wings
Ranboo: I don’t think so?
Ranboo: he’s got horns
Ranboo: well one and a half
TommyInnit: oh like tubbo
Ranboo: yeah exactly like tubbo
Ranboo: they’re even the same color and shape
TommyInnit: you’re fucking kidding
Ranboo: nope
The cleric had had no idea how to treat the damaged horn, so they’d cleaned it off and gently wrapped it with a bandage in case it could get infected. Ranboo didn’t know either, and he was married to a guy with horns.
Well, one and a half horns. Just like the Captain, one of Tubbo’s horns was snapped off, though it had been long enough that it had grown out a bit--though Ranboo was sure that was because whatever had happened to it had happened when Tubbo was young (younger than he was now, it wasn’t like he and Ranboo and Tommy were old) and his horns had still been growing.
The Captain was most definitely an adult. He probably wasn’t going to get anything growing out.
How many permanent scars was the mansion going to leave on the Captain? It had already taken his wings and one of his horns. Cuts up and down his arms suggested they’d taken his blood, and scars scattered across his legs were too uniform to be accidental and in too odd of spots to be self-inflicted.
There was no telling how well the Captain’s lungs would recover, either. The cleric had mentioned there could be a number of causes and, should the Captain wake, could recommend action then--but not yet.
Ranboo: I think he’s kinda like me?
Ranboo: except another generation down
Ranboo: so he’s human and something with wings and something with horns?
Ranboo: ‘cause tubbo doesn’t have wings so they can’t be the same thing
TommyInnit: I’m still stuck on them having the same horns
TommyInnit: you sure about that?
Ranboo: absolutely
TommyInnit: hm
Ranboo squinted at the message, trying to process why Tommy would even ask. Why would Ranboo lie about the horns? It was such a strange thing.
TommyInnit: Tubbo hasn’t talked about it, I take it
Ranboo: I don’t know what you’re talking about
TommyInnit: he’s about as secretive about it as I am about the lab so I suppose that makes sense
TommyInnit: the only other person tubbo knows who had horns like him was his dad
TommyInnit: he’s been dead for a long time, from what I gather
TommyInnit: phil would know more
TommyInnit: he used to be friends with tubbo’s dad
TommyInnit: old adventuring buddies or something
TommyInnit: i think wil met him too but
TommyInnit: fucking revivebur
Ranboo: mmhm mmhm
TommyInnit: do you know anything else about this mysterious fella
Ranboo: he said he has multiple names but most people call him the captain
Tommy didn’t immediately respond, but also maybe he’d gotten up for water or something, so Ranboo had no problems jumping into conversation with Phil as a new message there popped up.
He stopped to inspect the Captain first, though, just to check him over and make sure he was still asleep. Unconscious? Ranboo didn’t know if there was a difference in circumstances like these.
Ph1LzA: not too far out now
Ranboo: good
Ranboo: careful of the storm
Ph1LzA: m8 you’re the one who melts here
Ranboo: i’m inside
Ph1LzA: should be there by dawn
Ranboo: careful of baby zombies
Ph1LzA: i will lol
The Captain coughed, shifting. He pushed himself up with one arm, rolling onto his side with expression twisting in pain, and coughed again.
Then he opened his eyes.
His gaze flicked around the room before examining the bandages around his arm with a faintly confused look on his face.
“Don’t strain yourself,” Ranboo urged, tucking his communicator away and sitting up straight. “You’ve got to be careful.”
“Ranboo,” the Captain acknowledged, voice a bit wobbly. “Where are we?”
“Nearly fifty thousand blocks from where you passed out. How’re you feeling?”
“Still terrible.” Despite the words, the Captain snorted, mouth quirking up in what almost seemed to be amusement. “Your armor is off.”
“Yeah. Nothing much is going to surprise us in a village. Plus my husband complains if I wear it too long. Says it makes me smell bad.”
The Captain laughed softly at that, the sound barely more than a wheeze.
“Well,” Ranboo said slowly, “technically he says it makes me smell like Techno, but his expression means that smells bad. So.”
The Captain’s laugh faded and he pushed himself into a sitting position, leaning against the wall with heavy breathing. “Techno?”
“Uh. Yeah. Technoblade. You... know of him?”
“We’ve met.”
“Huh.” Ranboo eyed the Captain. Techno was a man of many secrets. “Good meet or bad meet?”
The Captain snorted. “It’s complicated.”
“Ah.” Probably best to not mention that Techno was Ranboo’s landlord, then. Or that he’d executed Ranboo’s husband. “That happens a lot with him, I’ve noticed.”
The Captain nodded wordlessly. His gaze slid to meet Ranboo’s eyes before Ranboo could warn him not to. One of his arms rose to wrap around his chest, despite the fact that he should be paralyzed or, at the very least, incredibly uncomfortable. He didn’t seem that concerned, though, as his own gaze bored into Ranboo’s own soul with some indescribable pressure.
And then his eyes slid to the side a bit, just enough to break eye contact, and Ranboo sucked in a shaky breath to the sudden realization that he hadn’t been able to breath during the eye contact.
What the heck.
“You’re half enderman,” the Captain said. He didn’t sound very surprised.
“I- what are you.”
The Captain smiled thinly. “That’s a loaded question.”
“What- how?” Ranboo ran a hand over his face. “That’s- I’ve never met anyone who does that before.”
“I’m not surprised. As far as I know, there’s only one other like me, and that’s because he’s my son. I don’t even know if he inherited that ability.”
“You have a son?”
The Captain nodded.
“Me too.”
The Captain eyed him for a moment. “I must be old. You seem a little young for that.”
Ranboo snorted. “I am. He’s adopted. My husband and I took him in a little after we got married.”
The Captain nodded, clearly accepting this. “Fair enough.” He paused, expression a bit distant. Then he coughed again, barely catching the action in his elbow. “What year is it?”
“Oh! Uh-” Ranboo pulled his communicator out and opened the folder that held subscriptions to most of the news outlets scattered around the Greater SMP and tapped on one at random. Soot Seen at Las Nevadas, Surprisingly Not Dead, the headline read, but Ranboo ignored it as he shoved it over to the Captain. “There on the third line.”
The Captain stared at it for a long moment, hand tightening around Ranboo’s communicator hard enough that for a second Ranboo was worried it’d break.
“Who’s Soot?”
Ranboo blinked, taking back the offered communicator. “You’ve really been in there a while, huh.”
“Nearly five years, going off the date on that.” The Captain sighed. “Though it’s been nearly twelve since I saw my son. He’d be about your age, I guess.”
“Is he-”
“I hope he’s alive.” The Captain rubbed the back of his neck, grimacing. “I have plenty of enemies, and had to lead some of them away from him. Then I got caught. I’ve been looking for him since, but no luck so far.”
“Well, uh, a bunch of people live in the Greater SMP. Maybe he moved in there.” Ranboo tapped his fingers against his communicator. “L’Manburg doesn’t exist anymore, but Kinoko Kingdom’s been growing pretty fast. Las Nevadas too. Or Snowchester! My husband runs the place, so I’m sure if your son is there you’ll be able to find him pretty fast. Hopefully not the Badlands, though, all things considered.”
“Maybe.” The Captain frowned. “I- I’ve only heard of L’Manburg, right after it gained independence. What do you mean, it doesn’t exist anymore?”
“Ah.” Ranboo tapped his communicator again. “It got blown to bedrock. We had enough warning to evacuate, but not everyone got out in time.”
“...Who blew it up?”
“Dream, the admin. It’s not one of the reasons he’s in prison but it sure didn’t win him any favor. Uh. Technoblade and Philza. They helped.”
The Captain froze at that, then pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Gods. I am very out of the loop.”
Right. He knew Techno.
“I can lend you my communicator while we travel some, if you want. You can catch up on some of the newspapers and magazines.” Ranboo paused, absently wondering how many tabloids were speculating about Tubbo again. Being the last president of L’Manburg kept the cameras on him more than anyone cared to admit. “Maybe not some of the tabloids. Mostly I read those for fun.”
“I’d appreciate it.”
Silence.
The Captain coughed again.
“You should rest,” Ranboo urged. “I have a friend showing up to help me get you someplace safe at some point during the night. Kinda my... adopted dad, I guess? Not officially. Definitely officially my landlord’s best friend. It’s a little weird. Anyway, there’s a proper hospital in Kinoko Kingdom. I’m betting you’re going to need more medical attention than what the cleric here can do, and that’s the closest one, so we’re gonna head there as soon as I get some proper rest.”
“I have no idea how long I can stay conscious to travel.”
Ranboo nodded. “Yeah, and the cleric said a lot of your injuries are infected. I’m kinda impressed you’re awake now, honestly. But you gotta rest. We’ve got a lot of travel ahead of us still.”
The Captain nodded slowly, settling back down onto the bed.
Then, “I don’t know how I’m going to repay you for all your kindness.”
Ranboo laughed softly. “If you’re really concerned about it, then we can figure it out after you’ve recovered.”
The Captain hummed at that--then coughed--and pulled the blanket up over his head.
Ranboo sat in silence for a long moment, listening to the rain tumble against the roof and windows, before pulling his communicator out to catch up on the news, starting with the article he’d used to show the Captain the date. He’d known Wilbur was alive, he’d been there with Tommy at L’Manhole, but he’d rather been hoping there would be more time before the average citizen would know.
Obviously that wasn’t the case.
The article featured a picture of Wilbur and Quackity arguing, standing only inches from each other in their passion, and a partially out-of-focus Tommy in the background staring at them in clear confusion. And anxiety. Ranboo knew Tommy well enough to recognize the way he was standing.
Well.
Ranboo: news seems pretty excited to see what wilbur’s up to huh
TommyInnit: i can’t fucking get a break from it
TommyInnit: take it you saw the HQ Gazette’s latest thing then
Ranboo: yep
Ranboo: learned the captain was in the mansion for five years too
TommyInnit: fucking prime
TommyInnit: makes me have a question though
TommyInnit: does the captain have a red coat and these sunglasses with red frames
Ranboo: yeah how did you know
TommyInnit: did you know wil named me
TommyInnit: i ran into him a few days after i got busted out of the lab
TommyInnit: I don’t remember anything before the lab
TommyInnit: and the illagers never bothered naming me
TommyInnit: so wil did
TommyInnit: in any case
Ranboo: I did not know that
TommyInnit: I got out five and a half years ago
TommyInnit: and the guy who busted me out had a red coat and sunglasses
TommyInnit: and this huge ship
TommyInnit: I hopped off at the first harbor we came across and immediately ran into Wil
TommyInnit: we just about immediately fucked off to start L’Manburg
TommyInnit: never saw the captain again
Ranboo: wait
Ranboo: are you saying the guy I found is the guy who got you out?
TommyInnit: I’m saying there’s a chance
TommyInnit: dude had horns like Tubbo and these giant bat wings
TommyInnit: thought he was Tubbo’s dad at first but Tubbo says his dad is dead so
TommyInnit: besides Tubbo doesn’t have wings
Ranboo: the captain doesn’t think there’s really anyone else like him
TommyInnit: i mean there’s only one way to know
TommyInnit: when you’re back and he’s healed up enough for guests let me know
TommyInnit: I wanna see with my own eyes
Ranboo: okay
Ranboo: we’re gonna try to get to the hospital in Kinoko
Ranboo: it’s closest to us
TommyInnit: good luck
Ranboo: thanks
He’d barely had time to hit send on that when a message from Phil came through.
Ph1LzA: i see the village
Ph1LzA: where are you m8
Ranboo: let me get my armor on and I’ll stand outside
Ranboo: the captain’s sleeping so i wanna be quiet
Ranboo: right near the church tho
Ph1LzA: got it
Ranboo hurriedly pulled on his armor, wincing as it made more noise than he wanted, then broke the cobblestone block in front of the door and slipped outside. The Captain didn’t stir, fortunately, so Ranboo carefully closed the door and stepped fully into view of anyone walking the streets.
A familiar figure was standing under the church’s awning, rain dripping from his feathers. Phil noticeably brightened on seeing Ranboo, and paused only long enough to adjust his cloak before darting over fast enough to send mud splashing up nearly to Ranboo’s knees.
“Inside,” Ranboo urged quietly. “Be quiet.”
Phil nodded, slipping inside with Ranboo right behind. By the time Ranboo had the door closed and blocked, though, Phil had already slipped off his pack and laid a blanket on the ground. He removed his cloak, draping it across the lone bookcase in the corner, then sat on the blanket and pulled his boots off.
Ranboo stared at him.
“He’s asleep, right?” Phil murmured softly.
Ranboo nodded.
“We might as well get some rest, then. Both of us are light enough sleepers that if something changes, we’ll catch it.” Phil patted the blanket next to him. “You obviously need it, mate.”
Ranboo sighed, sitting next to Phil.
“He woke up for a bit, so I have hope,” he muttered.
“We’ll see how he’s doing in the morning,” Phil said gently, settling in for the night. “Let’s get some sleep. Evaluate in the morning.”
Phil was right, of course. He often was.
So they slept, with one of Phil’s wings covering Ranboo for warmth. And, in the morning, they woke feeling much better.
The Captain, however, did not wake. He was still breathing, but his breathing had turned for the worse and sweat beaded his forehead. Phil and Ranboo exchanged a silent look before Ranboo placed two emerald blocks in a chest as payment for the cleric’s services and Phil packed everything up. Then, with the Captain carefully arranged on Ranboo’s back (much easier for long travel) and tied in place with a makeshift harness made from some of the rope Phil had brought, they turned back towards Kinoko.
---
Stepping from the Nether to the Overworld and seeing the hills of Kinoko Kingdom immediately washed relief over Ranboo. The place was always beautiful, but knowing the place had a functioning hospital, knowing Foolish had built it so it would be fantastic quality- that was the thing really getting Ranboo’s mind away from the limp weight on his back.
The Captain hadn’t woken in the day and a half it had taken Ranboo and Phil to get this far. They’d wanted to move faster, but there was only so fast they could go with Phil having to do most of the defending and Ranboo carrying an entire other person.
Sapnap stepped forward, leaving Karl talking with one of the nearby citizens. His gaze raked over them, and Ranboo pressed down the urge to flinch. Sapnap didn’t produce any smiley faces, though, instead simply waving Ranboo to follow him.
“He looks terrible,” Sapnap said quietly as Ranboo fell in pace with him. “He’s still alive?”
“Yeah.” The Captain’s faint breathing still moved on the back of Ranboo’s neck, rasping and sometimes flecking blood. It was the only way he knew. “Barely.”
“Right. Well.” Sapnap tilted his head. “Tommy mentioned something about a communicator for him, but the dude has to put in his own info, so we’ll have to hope he wakes up for that.”
“Right.”
“The doctors will probably have a bunch of questions for you on how he’s been during travel,” Sapnap continued, “so good luck with that.”
“Yeah.”
Sapnap sent him a long, even look. “Do you want to stay nearby?”
“I- I can help Niki out at her place a bit. She’s not far.”
Sapnap snorted softly. “Straight down. A good neighbor, though.” He put a hand on a big oak door, then offered Ranboo a reassuring smile. “We’ll do our best with him, okay?”
By the time Phil caught up with Ranboo, the Captain had been removed from Ranboo’s back and carted off to a room. Ranboo didn’t know what one, not when he’d been stopped to answer those questions Sapnap had warned him about.
(Some part of him wished he’d gotten to see the room. Not only for the Captain’s sake, but for his own, and for Tommy’s. But the Captain had been deemed too badly injured for visitors, at least for a little while, and Ranboo was frankly far too dirty to even consider walking into a hospital room. He still had evoker blood dried on a bit of his suit exposed between plates of armor. Also a lot of the Captain’s own blood, for that matter.)
Phil put a hand on Ranboo’s shoulder, gently guiding him out of the hospital and towards Niki’s place. Ranboo stepped aside, making a small lava bath and downing a fire res before going through the effort of cleaning himself up. Phil lingered with Niki, explaining what had happened.
Now, lava baths were extraordinarily uncomfortable. Fire resistance potions kept him from actually burning alive in lava, but he still felt the heat, and that kind of heat sucked. However, when it came to little things like blood, it wasn’t like a dust bath would help Ranboo out much, so uncomfortable it was.
It was only once he’d stepped out of the lava and stopped being on fire that he actually started to process the events of the past few days. He’d gone on a regularly scheduled murder spree to find a relic that allowed one to reverse death and had found someone on the verge of death. Then he’d dragged the Captain over a hundred thousand blocks back to the Greater SMP, this virtual stranger slipping closer and closer to never waking up again the longer things went.
Ranboo let out a long breath, tossing his armor into the lava one piece at a time. The netherite dipped below the surface streaked with blood and lazily floated to the surface less than a minute earlier, nothing marring its surface.
He started pulling it back on, too physically and emotionally exhausted to bother hurrying.
If he hadn’t gone to that one specific mansion when he did-
The Captain wouldn’t have made it. That much was absolutely clear in Ranboo’s mind.
He still might not.
Ranboo pushed the thought away. It was out of his hands now. He’d done what he could. Hopefully he’d bought the Captain enough time that the doctors in Kinoko would be able to do the rest.
His communicator beeped softly. Well, it had been beeping for a while, but he’d been ignoring it.
Tubbo_: lemme know when you’re back big man
Tubbo_: michael wants to know
Tubbo_: i do too
Ranboo: at Kinoko
Ranboo: got kicked out of the hospital after dropping the dude off because I was covered in the dude’s blood
Tubbo_: gross
Tubbo_: you come home like that and i’m getting a divorce
Ranboo: i took a bath at niki’s
Tubbo_: good good
Tubbo_: michael’s down for the night but that just means you and i can talk ;)
Ranboo: I desperately need to sleep
Ranboo: didn’t really stop to do that on my way here
Ranboo: trying to keep the dude from dying and all
Tubbo_: you’re safe?
Ranboo: yea at niki’s
Tubbo_: alright okay
Tubbo_: sleep well ranboo my beloved
Tubbo_: but know we’ll be talking in the morning
Ranboo: wouldn’t dream of avoiding you
Ranboo: hard being married and all
Tubbo_: i will take your kneecaps
Ranboo: i need those
Ranboo: good night tubbo
Ranboo: send michael my love
Ph1LzA: you good m8?
Ranboo: yea just taking a bath
Ph1LzA: I’m gonna head home
Ph1LzA: did you wanna come with
Ranboo: no I’m going to stay close until we know about the captain
Ph1LzA: walk me to the portal then
Ph1LzA: I’ll wait for you outside Niki’s
TommyInnit: Tubbo just lit up like a fucking holiday tree so I’m guessing you’re close?
Ranboo: dropped the captain off at the hospital
Ranboo: gonna be sticking close to Kinoko so I hear news faster
TommyInnit: I’ll come hang with you if you want?
TommyInnit: if you have a spare bed
Ranboo: I was gonna ask Niki if she had one but we can camp outside or something
TommyInnit: nevermind I’ll bring a bed
TommyInnit: yea sure
TommyInnit: me and ranboob under the stars
TommyInnit: unless you smell like blood and travel and shit
Ranboo: lol no i just took a bath
TommyInnit: then under the stars we’ll sleep
He also had a message from Techno asking if Phil had been feeding Techno’s pets and if Steve was lonely and one from Foolish asking about a play date between Junior and Finley and Michael.
They probably needed to resolve the whole cookie shop thing before committing to something like that. Under no circumstances would Ranboo let anyone near Michael if they were being shady, and, well, Foolish was being weird now that he’d moved to Las Nevadas.
He slipped his communicator back into his pocket and tightened one of his bracers for the sake of having something to do with his hands as he picked the lava up and put the bucket back in the chest he’d pulled it from. He even carefully put the stone back, leaving no trace he’d even been there (if one ignored the distinct smell of smoke).
Niki was gone from the main chamber of her city by the time Ranboo emerged, and he glanced around a bit before leaving a note thanking for her hospitality. Then he headed up the stairs, coming to a weary stop at the top next to Phil.
Phil’s face was turned to the sky, to the brilliant stars splattering the sky in a way that couldn’t really be mimicked by mortal hands. His right hand was fidgeting with his left hand, a sort of restlessness Ranboo understood despite his own exhaustion.
“Has, uh, has Tubbo ever told you how he ended up growing up in my house?” Phil’s voice was quiet, uncertain and a little scared.
“He said Wilbur found him in a cardboard box.”
“That’s...” Phil sighed, beginning to move towards the Kinoko portal. “It’s not wrong, I suppose, but that leaves out most of it.”
Ranboo followed, waiting for Phil to continue. Tubbo didn’t talk about his past much, and Ranboo couldn’t blame him, but he was still incredibly curious about his husband’s life before they’d met.
“His father and I were good friends. Old adventuring buddies, I guess you could say. He was always more cautious than I was, and he saved my life dozens of times. And then I had Wil, and I stopped going out nearly as much. And then he had Tubbo, much to everyone’s surprise. He and Tubbo lived a few days’ travel from Wil and I, and we’d visit each other regularly.”
Ranboo nodded slowly.
“Then one day, about twelve or so years ago? Wil and I walked into the clearing to find the entire place burned to the ground. Some of the barn was fine, and some of the crops, but the house and most of the ground was a charred and simmering mess. And there was blood in the yard, old enough to be dried and too much for me to have much hope for whoever it belonged to. And then Wil found Tubbo, tucked away in a box a little ways down the road.”
Ranboo glanced towards the ruins of L’Manburg, towards the recently rebuilt house near the main road. Tubbo had been losing homes for much longer than Ranboo had thought, then. That was pretty sad.
“I took him in, of course.” Phil shrugged. “He was my friend’s kid, and I wasn’t going to leave someone his age to fend for himself.” He swallowed, hard. “Tubbo eventually told us his dad tucked him away and told him to stay safe, that he’d come back for him, but- he didn’t. Still hadn’t, by the time I left there for here. I figured a long time ago that he’s dead.”
“Oh.” Ranboo hummed softly, even as the purple glow of the portal lit the area around the corner. “What brought this on?”
“Oh, it’s- it’s just times like this make me wonder if I could have done more.” Phil’s wings drew in tightly, discomfort and regret written across Phil’s face. “If things would have been different if Wil and I had left a day earlier, or even a few hours.”
“I mean- he’s dead, right?”
Phil let out a long breath, stepping into the portal. “I thought so, but after seeing the captain, well- maybe there’s more hope than I thought.”
And then he was gone.
---
Neither Tommy nor Ranboo slept much on their little campout, the worry for the Captain, for the man who had potentially saved Tommy’s life, hovering over them both. Still, it was easier together than it was alone. Even if Tommy was clingy in his sleep and his elbow ended up in Ranboo’s ribs more often than not.
Tubbo_: yea lol he’s like that
Tubbo_: the trick is to not sleep within eyesight
Tubbo_: or he will find you and he will cuddle
Tubbo_: you were doomed the second you agreed to a sleepover big man
Ranboo didn’t mind all that much. Tommy was his friend, after all, and if his elbow in Ranboo’s ribs helped keep him from having nightmares about being dead again, well- Ranboo was okay with that.
Even if it was kinda funny.
When the Captain still wasn’t allowed visitors in the morning, Ranboo prepared to head to Snowchester. It had been far too long without Michael in his arms, and he needed to remedy that as quickly as possible.
Michael, for his part, proved to be just as excited to see Ranboo as Ranboo was to see him. He threw his little arms up in the air, running over to him and babbling a mix of words Ranboo recognized (piglin or otherwise) and many that were completely incomprehensible. Ranboo scooped him up all the same, pulling him close and holding him tight.
Michael’s arms tight around his neck, Ranboo turned to Tubbo and grinned broadly at him. Tubbo grinned back, bringing his hand up and getting a fistbump with no hesitation.
“Nice to have you back,” he said. “You were gone too long. I want a divorce.”
Ranboo laughed, the joy of being with his family bubbling up through all the stress and the worry of the Captain. “No. Absolutely not.”
Tubbo’s grin sharpened.
Then, when Michael had worn himself out with excitement and was sleeping in Ranboo’s arms, Tubbo sat next to Ranboo on the edge of Michael’s bed and sighed, running a hand over his full horn. The purple and obsidian glinted brightly in the warm lighting, seeming nearly like something that belonged to another dimension, another realm.
“Tommy said- the guy you rescued, he has horns like mine?”
“Yeah.” Ranboo’s gaze traced the familiar shape of Tubbo’s horns. “It caught me by surprise.”
“Me too.”
Ranboo gave him a long look, carefully setting Michael to the side and pulling a blanket over him. “Do you want to follow up on that thought, or...?”
“Nah.” Tubbo shrugged, hand falling away from his horn. Then he paused, hand rising to it once again, and sighed. “Yeah. Actually. It’s. I didn’t think there was anyone else out there with horns like mine. My dad’s been dead for a long, long time, after all, and I never met whoever my other parent was. I was too young to know what kind of hybrid I am from memory, and Phil never thought to bring it. I guess he was hit as hard by my dad’s death as I was.”
Ranboo frowned. “You’re allowed to be upset by that sort of thing, Tubbo.”
Tubbo waved it off, turning so one hand rested on Michael. “I used to be, I suppose. Not for some time, though. I got used to it. It’s probably for the better, anyway. I can’t imagine what my old man would be thinking if he knew all the things that go down here.” A pause. “Well. I mean.” He smoothed out Michael’s blanket gently. “I think I get the things he did more now.”
Ranboo hummed softly, interlacing his fingers tightly together. “Do... Is there a grave at all?”
“We never found his body.” Tubbo shook his head. “And yeah, yeah, sure, he could technically still be alive, but what are the chances of that? He’s dead.”
“Okay.”
They sat in silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts, and then Tubbo stood slowly. “When- if. If the guy wakes up, I think I want to talk to him. Maybe he’d have some sort of answers for me somehow, I dunno. Information, especially if we really are both the same kind of hybrid. I’d like to know more about myself.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Ranboo nodded, fingers loosening until his hands fell in his lap. “That’s- that’s a good idea. Sapnap promised to message if he wakes up, so. I’ll go over and ask him if he does, if he wants to meet with you and stuff.”
“Thanks, big man.”
“Of course, of course.”
(A message came in the morning--the Captain wasn’t awake, not yet, but he’d been deemed stable enough for visitors. Ranboo passed the message on to Tommy and met him at Tommy’s place before the two headed off to Kinoko.)
The Captain’s room was pretty nice, Ranboo decided. Stone and wood were hardly the comfiest materials, but the window in the room had a nice view and the rug underfoot was squishy and the blanket pulled over the Captain’s still form was plenty soft. Ranboo may have touched it to find out. Enderman instincts, of course. Nothing more.
It was decidedly still a hospital room. A basin in the corner and the cloying smell of disinfectants and healing salves made that much clear. Also, the entire unconscious man in the middle of the room, carefully laid on his side--to make breathing easier, the nurse who’d checked them over for obvious transmissible illnesses had said.
Tommy carefully moved around the bed, gaze flicking from the generic landscape paintings on the walls to the Captain in a way that would have been funny under other circumstances. Then he rounded it and stared at the Captain, expression scrutinizing as Ranboo closed the door.
Tommy’s eyes widened slowly and a hand rose to his mouth before he slowly sank into one of the available chairs, eyes still fixed on the Captain.
“It’s him,” he whispered. “Fuck. It’s- Ranboo, he’s the one who got me out.”
Oh.
Oh.
Ranboo stepped up next to Tommy, putting a hand on Tommy’s shoulder in an attempt to provide some sort of... grounding comfort or something, he didn’t know. Tommy didn’t even so much as flinch, gaze so desperately fixed on the Captain.
“His horn missing is new,” Tommy murmured, though that was apparent enough with the way the medical professionals had clearly considered it an open wound by the way it was bandaged. “And his wings- fuck, I know you said they were gone, but. Fuck. They were so glorious, and- now he’s grounded, just like Phil.”
“Yeah. It sucks.”
Ranboo went to move his hand off Tommy’s shoulder, but Tommy reached up and grabbed his arm, holding it desperately for a long moment before muttering an apology.
Ranboo didn’t put his hand back on Tommy’s shoulder, but he pulled up the other chair and sat next to him. The chair was too short for him--most were--and it was almost comical how far his knees came up his chest once his feet were resting on the ground.
“Do you think it’s my fault?”
Ranboo turned to Tommy, already confused.
“That his wings are gone,” Tommy clarified, though his own gaze didn’t move from the Captain. “He saved me. I bet that got illagers on him, hunting him down- And you said he got caught right after Wil started L’Manburg. That was only a few months after- Do you think, if he hadn’t gotten me, or if I’d let myself be caught again-”
“No.” Ranboo paused. “He made his own choice, Tommy. He decided you were worth saving, and I agree. I know- I know that hasn’t happened a lot for you. I’m glad he did it, though, because you’re my friend, and I like having you around.”
Tommy blinked rapidly, then scoffed, though his voice was tight with the unshed tears in his eyes. “You’re fucking clingy, you know that?”
“You should see me with grass blocks.”
Tommy stared at him for a moment, then burst into laughter, raw and pained and delighted all at the same time. It only lasted a few seconds, and Tommy was gripping the arms of his chair so hard his fingertips were white, but he laughed all the same. Ranboo would have to write that in his memory book.
They sat for a little while longer, Tommy sometimes talking to Ranboo and sometimes talking to the Captain (though there was no reaction from him). Then the door opened and visiting hours were over--they’d start again at 10 tomorrow, if they’d like.
Ranboo glanced over at Tommy and saw familiar determination in his eyes and resolved to let Tommy have some private conversations with the Captain the next day.
---
TommyInnit: he’s awake
Ranboo stared at the message before sighing and committing the ultimate crime as he gently scooped Enderchest off his lap and set her down. Enderchest mewled in protest, condemning him as the ruthless criminal he was. Ranboo put a hand to his heart, aching and pained, before sniffing exaggeratedly and stepping out of his vault, closing the door carefully to make sure Enderchest wasn’t caught in the mechanism.
Ranboo: I’ll go get the communicator from Sam
Ranboo: I won’t tell him where you are no worries
TommyInnit: glad he’s good for something
Ranboo: yeah dude wouldn’t even throw me in the prison when I told him how horrible of a person I am
TommyInnit: what
Ranboo: y’know like you taking all the fall for george’s house
TommyInnit: big r that’s not worth prison
Ranboo: wasn’t worth exile either
TommyInnit: fuck dream
Ranboo: ew no thanks
Ranboo: is the communicator ready?
awesamdude: yeah
awesamdude: I’ll meet you at the community house
Ranboo: will do
Thanks to the ponds Phil had set up, getting to the Arctic portal didn’t take very long. It was something Ranboo tended not to think about for extended periods of times, a half enderman using a trident, but he figured living with a winged man who couldn’t fly and his no-longer-dead son (did Wilbur still live with Phil? unclear) and whatever the heck Techno was (piglin? genetically modified pig? a hybrid like Ranboo? unclear) was already plenty weird, so what did it matter.
The trek through the Nether didn’t take very long either, mostly due to the fact that nobody who built paths there had done so with any thought other than sheer function. It was ugly, and sometimes carpeted with carpet that had long since melted and was uncomfortably tacky to step on, but it worked, so what did it matter.
From the community portal, it was easy to get to the community house. Sam was sitting on the east walkway, feet dangling off the edge into the water and staring at the fish swimming below. A small gray box sat next to him, neatly tied closed with red string.
“Hey,” Ranboo said by way of greeting.
“Hey,” Sam agreed, looking up. He picked up the gray box and held it to Ranboo, who took it and tucked it in his inventory carefully. “You mentioned he seemed to like red, so I tried to make it match.”
“Thanks.”
Sam stood. “Is- I haven’t heard much about this guy. Do we know anything about him?”
“Not really. Not yet. He’s been too unconscious.”
“Are we sure he’s safe?”
Ranboo shrugged. “Sapnap’s keeping an eye on him. We figured if things go bad, he’s probably a good choice to handle things.”
Sam nodded slowly, then again more quickly. “Good, good.” A pause. “And... Tommy?”
Ranboo raised an eyebrow.
Sam sighed and nodded again.
“Well, I look forward to him logging into the network.” Sam nodded at Ranboo. “Whenever he’s ready to meet people, let me know. It’s been a while since we’ve had someone new make this kind of stir.”
“I’ll pass the request on.”
Sam lifted a hand in clear farewell and pulled out his trident, stepping into the water smoothly and launching himself into the air in the next moment. He disappeared behind the ruins of Purpled’s UFO.
Ranboo pulled the communicator box out of his inventory, weighing it carefully against his own communicator, one in each hand. They seemed about the same weight. Sam probably hadn’t added anything extra into the box, then, or into the communicator.
Alright.
He tucked the communicator back away and pulled out his own trident, launching himself towards Kinoko. He landed on a tree roughly, his armor and feather falling taking the brunt of the impact, and started the trek.
Kinoko appeared between the hills quickly enough, and Ranboo immediately headed for the hospital, only pausing to take off his armor. Sapnap, speaking with the receptionist at the entrance to the hospital, gave him a casual wave and a smile, but didn’t stop him.
The door to the Captain’s room was propped open, Tommy leaning forward in his seat and the Captain sitting up in bed--leaning, maybe? on the headboard and pillows. Either way, he was upright.
Ranboo knocked on the doorframe to announce his presence and entered. Both Tommy and the Captain looked over warmly, Tommy grinning brightly and the Captain smiling softly. Tommy immediately patted the chair next to him, but the Captain’s gaze flicked to the box once again in Ranboo’s hands.
“You have a box,” he said simply.
“I do, I do.” Ranboo stepped closer, holding it out to the Captain. “It’s a new communicator. Figured you might want one.”
The Captain’s eyes widened slightly and he took it. His hands lingered on the string for a moment before he untied it and opened the box.
A standard communicator slid out, except beautifully red where Ranboo’s was default gray and Tubbo’s was yellow. Tommy’s was red, too, except Tommy’s was battered and chipped after everything he’d gone through and this one was brand new.
“Good color choice,” Tommy complimented. “We match.” He paused, fishing his own communicator out to compare. “If you hadn’t gone red, what would you have done?”
“Yellow, probably. Or orange.” The Captain ran his hands over the casing, examining all the buttons and the keyboard. “My son always wanted me to pick one of those.” He paused, expression going distant for a moment before a small charm appeared in his hand. He wasted no time in threading its string through the available slot on the communicator, tying it on quickly.
It was a tiny bee--tattered, and extraordinarily tacky, looking rather like a small child had made it, but most definitely a bee.
The Captain grinned widely, then began the process of claiming the device and logging in on the network.
[CaptainSparklez joined the server.] pinged across the network, both Tommy and Ranboo’s communicators lighting up at the notification. Tommy stared at it for a long moment, eyes growing wider and wider, and Ranboo stared at it blankly. He’d heard that name before somewhere. He didn’t know where, but- gods if Ranboo remembered the name of someone out of network who he’d never met before-
“You’re Captain fucking Sparklez?” Tommy shrieked.
The Captain laughed softly. “Yeah? Have been for a long time.”
And then messages began pouring into the general chat.
awesamdude: wait what
Technoblade: yoooooooo wanna break me out of prison
Tubbo_: is this a fucking joke
BadBoyHalo: LANGUAGE
Purpled: holy shit what’s he doing here
Quackity: Welcome to the SMP, Captain
Sapnap: what the fuck you talk to a stranger but not me?
Sapnap: I thought you loved me :c
Quackity: what the FUCK
BadBoyHalo: LANGUAGE YOU MUFFINHEADS
Antfrost: o/
The_Eret: welcome captain let me know if you need anything
Slimecicle: hello stranger from unknown places
CaptainPuffy: always good to see another captain o7
Quackity: don’t you dare mister you’re the one who abandoned me
Sapnap: you didn’t respond to any of my messages???
Quackity: I was busy
Sapnap: how am I supposed to talk to you if you ignore me
FoolishG: hello we meet again
WilburSoot: greetings captain do let me know when you’re available for a talk i have a proposition for you
ItsFundy: why does it sound like you want to fuck him
BadBoyHalo: OH MY MUFFIN LANGUAGE
GeorgeNotFound: heya welcome
JackManifoldTV: what gogy said
HBomb94: jordan? you’re alive?
Ph1LzA: welcome to the world of the living jordan
Not everyone, of course, but certainly most people. It was certainly the most people Ranboo had ever seen react to someone joining.
The Captain--Jordan?--laughed softly. “I recognize some of these names. I didn’t know H and Phil ended up here.” He stared at the screen, expression soft and worried. “Or...” His fingers hovered over one of the messages at the beginning before moving down to the keyboard.
CaptainSparklez: sup
TommyInnit: he’s so fucking cool guys
BadBoyHalo: LANGUAGE PLEASE
TommyInnit: you run a cult you don’t get to talk
CaptainSparklez: I hear things are eventful here
CaptainPuffy: extremely
HBomb94: where have you been???
CaptainSparklez: captured by illagers lol
CaptainSparklez: Ranboo rescued me
Ranboo: i did :D
The chat continued, H and Phil both promising to stop by for a visit before Jordan was discharged and Quackity and Sapnap continuing to argue and Tommy continuing to needle Bad, but mostly the three of them stopped paying so much attention to it. Instead, they watched as Jordan found a map of the area and explored. The both of them pitched in comments from time-to-time, and answered questions he asked. Ranboo also got him set up with most of the news outlets, just so he could catch up on news when needing something to read.
Familiar footsteps pounded down the hall at a dead run, only audible for a few seconds before the door slammed open and Tubbo stood there, eyes wide and staring at Jordan.
Jordan stared back, eyes just as wide.
“Tubbo?” he finally asked, voice hardly above a whisper.
“Dad?”